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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
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Beebee

Life after school..!!

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Beebee   

Hi everyone.

I have posted on here before but just thought i would start a new topic regards to my ds imminent school leaving date.!

He has yet to sit the majority of his exams but those he has done, he has found very difficult and the results reflect this. It is almost impossible to explain the importance of 'revision' to him nor the relevance of his exam results to his future life.? :(

On the positive side, he has done well in his 'I.T' diploma and we are hopeful that he will get a 6th form place to study this further. However i am worried about the unstructured-ness of 6th form and how he will cope, having to organise himself - something he struggles with daily..!!

I would love to hear from other parents who have gone through this stage of their child's life. My ds was only diagnosed in July 2010 and his school have been less than helpful :wallbash: , plus as he is my oldest child...i have no idea what to expect.

Also i wondered if anyone out there knows of any support groups for 'adolescents' within the Northamptonshire area, as my ds is often very isolated.?

Thanks for reading this :thumbs:

Edited by Beebee

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Hi Bee, If I were you I would ask the school for a meeting to plan what support your son will have or needs. The autism advisory group in Northamptonshire might also be able to help you and the your son. I hink there are groups in the Northamptonshire area-also there is a parent group that might be able to help you with support and advice (name FACT). My son is in yr 12-hopefully going in to yr 13 but he is in a special outreach school-so the support is small grups or 1:1 so I'm not sure of the support in 6th form but I assume it is the same if your son needs support then he should get it?????

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hey i live in northamptonshire there is social groups for AS young adults and parents if interested more infomation and details about it PM me please! i also have A.S i'm 21 year old female and i attend social group events qui good meeting others like us! and breaking social isolation surrounding AS breaking down society anxiety slowing too and building self esteem /confidence ... good opportunity ...

 

XKLX

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FACT is now relocated to corby area from kettering i do know that share personal experiences /stories give advice tips parents have chance to! they also have speakers in to discuss different subject topics and different areas of expertise of professionals in A.S interesting to just check out and see what like! i have been to one myself where an AS young adult ( female) giving a presentation on her AS life experiences etc and parents asking her and other parents questions they also have library of books of AS! hope this information helps you!

 

XKX

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I would make sure you visit local colleges as well. Although it would mean a change of building, colleges often offer more help and support than school-based sixth forms (especially as the school has not been very helpful so far). It woudl also open up the possibility of choosing from a bigger range of qualifications/subjects.

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Kathryn   

As Kazzen said, consider different further education options, unless the familiar setting is something which he particularly needs.

 

He may find sixth form easier organisationally as he will be doing fewer subjects and presumably ones he enjoys or at least sees the point of. Also there may be more individual and favourable attention from teachers/tutors who enjoy teaching their subject at a more challenging level. Some of the more disruptive and unmotivated pupils may have left. So it could be better.

 

What support did you ask the school for and what have they given so far (if any)?

 

K x

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Beebee   

As Kazzen said, consider different further education options, unless the familiar setting is something which he particularly needs.

 

He may find sixth form easier organisationally as he will be doing fewer subjects and presumably ones he enjoys or at least sees the point of. Also there may be more individual and favourable attention from teachers/tutors who enjoy teaching their subject at a more challenging level. Some of the more disruptive and unmotivated pupils may have left. So it could be better.

 

What support did you ask the school for and what have they given so far (if any)?

 

K x

Hi Kathryn

Many thanks for your reply. I had previously suggested to my ds, that he might like to try another 'setting' but he was less than convinced. Im not sure if it is because his school is familiar or if it's down to the fact that he finds it difficult to rationalise 'reality'. I think he is struggling to forward think to not actually being at school.!?

 

As for his school.....!!!!....recently i had a meeting with them and they were just the same as usual. They suggested that he 'copes' well, they expected him to 'manage' his exams without too many issues and that he would settle into 6th form fine..!!! They do not seem to hear my worries nor understand his difficulties...particularily with 'English'..!! This is of course, is no suprise as i have been trying to get my concerns heard since he was in year 7..!!

I expect very little from them and did the 'dignosistic' process without their support so i think that it will be difficult to gain much from them...mores the pity. :crying:

 

I remain ever hopeful, that all will work out in the future..!! :pray:

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Beebee   

Hi Kathryn

Many thanks for your reply. I had previously suggested to my ds, that he might like to try another 'setting' but he was less than convinced. Im not sure if it is because his school is familiar or if it's down to the fact that he finds it difficult to rationalise 'reality'. I think he is struggling to forward think to not actually being at school.!?

 

As for his school.....!!!!....recently i had a meeting with them and they were just the same as usual. They suggested that he 'copes' well, they expected him to 'manage' his exams without too many issues and that he would settle into 6th form fine..!!! They do not seem to hear my worries nor understand his difficulties...particularily with 'English'..!! This is of course, is no suprise as i have been trying to get my concerns heard since he was in year 7..!!

I expect very little from them and did the 'dignosistic' process without their support so i think that it will be difficult to gain much from them...mores the pity. :crying:

 

I remain ever hopeful, that all will work out in the future..!! :pray:

 

 

Many thanks to all who have offered support and advice, it's great to have somewhere to vent the frustration.!!

Edited by Beebee

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For your encouragement, my now 19 year old left school at 16. We were unsure about where next as we could see him not managing the unstructuredness on either 6th form or FE college. As it was, he applied for an apprenticeship doing IT with the local council and with them did the NVQ3. Intellectually, he had the grades to do A levels, but I had heard people with AS saying before that entering work at a higher grade had put too many pressures on at once, so we played cautious. He finished his NVQ, was kept on, albeit on temporary contracts, and has now been offered a permanent job to train and work as a programmer for an internet book seller. He has coped well because it hasn't been too taxing, and he has managed to socialise a bit with people. JNot sure about al the money management - he crertainly has lots, but I have no idea how he manages it!! Anyway, just thought this might be an encouragement. Things can work out.

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Just keep encouraging him and pushing him. I know all about the isolated part though, and it sucks. I was only diagnosed with mild aspergers but i'm only really sorting my life out for the first time in several years after being in a rut. I was thinking of setting up meet ups for people with autism in general in the future because me personally i'm desperate to get out more and enjoy myself, i'm not even that bad socialising, but after losing most of my 'good' friends for various reasons i'm finding it hard to make good new ones.

 

On a good day you wouldn't think i had a problem but on a bad day you would, and that's the key thing i think. Anyway good luck and encouragement goes a long way! I could have REALLY done with a bit more myself in some of my earlier years!

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Beebee   

here's some links with info about NAS northamptonshire ...

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/find-nas-services-in-your-area/local-services/northamptonshire-services/education-support-services.aspx

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/en-gb/our-services/find-nas-services-in-your-area/local-services/northamptonshire-services.aspx

 

good luck

 

all the best

 

take care

 

XKLX

Hi 'K'

Many thanks for all your helpful links and advice. I will look into them and hope that i can find some support groups in or area.. :)

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Beebee   

For your encouragement, my now 19 year old left school at 16. We were unsure about where next as we could see him not managing the unstructuredness on either 6th form or FE college. As it was, he applied for an apprenticeship doing IT with the local council and with them did the NVQ3. Intellectually, he had the grades to do A levels, but I had heard people with AS saying before that entering work at a higher grade had put too many pressures on at once, so we played cautious. He finished his NVQ, was kept on, albeit on temporary contracts, and has now been offered a permanent job to train and work as a programmer for an internet book seller. He has coped well because it hasn't been too taxing, and he has managed to socialise a bit with people. JNot sure about al the money management - he crertainly has lots, but I have no idea how he manages it!! Anyway, just thought this might be an encouragement. Things can work out.

Hi there

Its encouraging to hear your about your son's success. My ds is definately interested in continuing his I.T studies and then hopefully working in that field.

I think the worst thing is the 'unknown' but i do my best to keep encouraging him to do his very best..!!

Thank you for replying and sharing your son's positive story.

Bee :D

Edited by Beebee

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Beebee   

Just keep encouraging him and pushing him. I know all about the isolated part though, and it sucks. I was only diagnosed with mild aspergers but i'm only really sorting my life out for the first time in several years after being in a rut. I was thinking of setting up meet ups for people with autism in general in the future because me personally i'm desperate to get out more and enjoy myself, i'm not even that bad socialising, but after losing most of my 'good' friends for various reasons i'm finding it hard to make good new ones.

 

On a good day you wouldn't think i had a problem but on a bad day you would, and that's the key thing i think. Anyway good luck and encouragement goes a long way! I could have REALLY done with a bit more myself in some of my earlier years!

Hi Goldenben

I try really hard to encourage and 'nudge' him in the right direction, although i'm sure at times he thinks im 'nagging' and shut's off..!! :rolleyes:

I am sure that he stay's in and doesn't socialise as it's easier for him.!?

Your idea of setting up a 'meet' group for those with autism/asd is a great idea. It seems to me that once you become an adolescent there is very little 'support' out there (i could be wrong.?).

My ds has his good and bad days too, but he find's socialising and 'conforming' (so to speak) the most difficult thing's, so meeting with 'likeminded' people would ease his anxieties on how he is 'expected to behave'.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to reply and for your insight.

Bee :thumbs:

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oli'smum   

Whats his thing? computers/art/music? whatever it is he focuses on most is the way to guide him to a future career, thats what the ADOS told me to do for my daughter, her thing is computers and technology, try not to worry for his future as he may pick up on it and become anxious, as hard as it may be just go with the flow if you can, he will let you know if it gets too much for him,(anxiety/behaviour) then step in, whatever his focus guide him in that direction, i raised my child for 12 yrs before she was diagnosed aspergers, she has never been treated differently from other children, as much as we have to adapt they also can learn to adapt. Just takes more time and patience.

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oxgirl   

I think the worst thing is the 'unknown' but i do my best to keep encouraging him to do his very best..!!

 

When my lad was in school and coming towards the end I was terrified about him leaving and going out into the world and losing all the contact, input and support we'd had from school staff, going to meetings about him, reading reports, chats with the staff, etc. etc., I wondered how I'D cope without it! Now, I'm so glad he's free of it and so glad it's all over! When I think back to him being in school I marvel at how we managed to cope with it and how we stuck it out for all those years, tbh. It's so much better now he has left all that behind, I'd never want to go back to do it again.

 

~ Mel ~

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As an autistic myself, getting out of school was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me. Meltdowns stopped dead and I was finally able to fully explore my interests. What you should do is find one of your son's special interests with real world potential and embrace that. Also, If he isn't already, get him on the Internet. Getting online for me, was like suddenly being able to download massive amounts of information directly into my head.

 

Also your son may be interested in reading my blog, Achieving Extraordinary Success, which is written with young autistic/aspie adults in mind:

 

http://achievingextraordinarysuccess.com/

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