Problems with Bath Time

[monty32]

Hi, have recently joined as a new member and am having problems with my 9 year old daughter, who has ASD and global developmental delay, concerning bath time. She gets very stressed beforehand, and starts talking about 'not having a bath' as soon as she gets in from school. We have tears, tantrums, screaming, and when we finally get her in she wants to get back out straight away! She also stays in a bad mood when she gets out for the rest of the evening. Would really welcome any advice/help from someone who has faced the same difficulties, as this is starting to get the whole family 'down'.

Edited May 16, 2011 by monty32

[sesley]

what is it that she fears about the bath? the water temp? or just the feel of water? would she prefer a shower instead if she does not like sitting in a bath.does she fear spiders if they have been in the bath?

[baddad]

Hi Monty -

just very quickly to agree with Sesley's post that you want to know what bit of bathing she doesn't like and whether showers would be a preferred option.

Obviously there's no way she can not bath/shower, but this very recent idea that kids need a bath every day has always seemed a bit OTT to me... I'd be prepared to cut her some slack if she'd agree to every other day (unless there's a major reason like incontinence or something) on the condition that the new bath days were adhered to without (or at least with less) complaint/fuss.

The fact that she's coming in from school with it already playing on her mind suggests it's more an aversion to baths than an aversion to lost TV time, iyswim, so you do need to get to the bottom of why... Another consideration could be to do with the drying part - either she doesn't dry properly and then feels uncomfortable in her nightware etc, or maybe she hates having wet hair dripping down her neck or something?

 

Try to have a fixed routine, with plenty of time (no hassles), and if you can introduce some 'rewards' (bathtime toys are great when they're a bit younger, but a nine yr old girl probably isn't going to get too excited at a rubber ducky, but she could just respond well to radox bubbles or scented bombs). An after bath treat like hot chocolate might take the edge off a bit too.

 

L&P

 

BD

[zenemu]

Hi, have recently joined as a new member and am having problems with my 9 year old daughter, who has ASD and global developmental delay, concerning bath time. She gets very stressed beforehand, and starts talking about 'not having a bath' as soon as she gets in from school. We have tears, tantrums, screaming, and when we finally get her in she wants to get back out straight away! She also stays in a bad mood when she gets out for the rest of the evening. Would really welcome any advice/help from someone who has faced the same difficulties, as this is starting to get the whole family 'down'.

 

It is possible that this could be a sensory issue. Personally I find bathing extremely unpleasant (it is actually painful) and I need to shower instead, which to be honest is only a little better but bearable. If that is the case, it will be difficult for her to put into words or describe, because for her, it may be the norm. Also if it is a sensory issue, they can and often do change over time for better or worse.

[monty32]

what is it that she fears about the bath? the water temp? or just the feel of water? would she prefer a shower instead if she does not like sitting in a bath.does she fear spiders if they have been in the bath?

Hi Selsey

The tantrums start when she hears the water running in the bath, possibly a sensory issue? Showers are a definite 'no no'. Because she also has learning difficulties, cannot explain what it is she doesnt like about the bath - hadnt thought about the spider issue, so will try and discuss the issue with her. Many thanks.

[monty32]

It is possible that this could be a sensory issue. Personally I find bathing extremely unpleasant (it is actually painful) and I need to shower instead, which to be honest is only a little better but bearable. If that is the case, it will be difficult for her to put into words or describe, because for her, it may be the norm. Also if it is a sensory issue, they can and often do change over time for better or worse.

Hi Snowdon

Thank you for your reply. I tend to agree with you that it could be a sensory issue, have tried to get her to have a shower instead but wont even consider it (doesnt like water over her head - hair washing a nightmare). Fingers crossed that, in time, will change for the better.

[JsMum]

Some ideas.

 

Make the bathroom a calming enviroment as much as possible, soft lighting, a warmer room tempreture, maybe have some calming music playing near the bathroom, have some pictures on the wall that you could look at together when she is in the bath, add bubbles, and scents as said by Baddad, you could also look at some calming aromatherapy such as Lavender, bathing gloves, sponges, bath massage equiptment, on Glow company you can buy coloured lights that go in the bath or on the side these are really cool, Bath toys or play a game, me and J regularly played I Spy or colour spy.

 

Make a visual scedule of what her routine is, so Activity, Tea, Activity, Bath, Pjs, Supper, Brush teeth, story, bed.

 

Give a warning ten mins before the task and another one when the task is going to end, if she has time concept problems doesnt understand how long ten mins is there is time timers and egg timers, Waitrose sell a clock like a time timer, warnings help to adjust to a change and so better transition.

 

If time concept is an area that she does find difficult have a illistrated callender, let her choose her bath days, so have a picture of a bath and get her to stick it on the days she wants, so it could be that the first day after school she has a bath but tuesday is no bath day, you could have say four stickers for the week.

 

If she doesnt have bath time ensure that this time is spent doing something relaxing and calm.

 

Get her to draw her having a bath and what she doesnt like about it.

 

Tempreture core could be an eliment, I love swimming but dont like going because the getting into a cold pool really is not nice, then the getting out and been freezing when I get out.

 

Look at the texture of the towel when drying, when J was younger I use to pop Js towel and pjs in the dryer for a few mins, to ensure there soft and warm.

 

The hair could be to with sensitivity, her scalp may be very sensitive, when washed the water may sting her eyes, there is some products for children with a head cap that stops the water going into thier eyes, that is if you can get it on her head in the first place.

 

What about a shower cap if you dont need to wash her hair and leave in conditioners smooth the process of hair brushing.

 

I love bath time as its a time that is just for me, its a pampering time, a time to relax and totally unwind, so bath times shouldnt be a cause of distress, so I would look deeper into why she is so upset, has she had any truama with water, has she gone swimming where she got into difficulties, how is she with swimming?

 

As she is getting distressed even with the taps been turned on, look at maybe doing some water therapy, have a water play session, so a sandpit table fill it with water and get different utensils to pour so sives, watering cans, cups, get her use to the sound of water pouring and progress to maybe turning on the taps for a few mins and then turning it off, my son had a thing of taps and would actually turn them on and cause flooding, so we had to work the oppisite way round.

 

I would contact your local Autism outreach team who maybe could offer further support and maybe assist in some practicle ideas.

 

At Js residential special school they shower in the morning and again in the evening, its part of thier routine the only complaint from J is the school showers are not very goodxxx if they dont obey their tasks they get points reduced, points go towards treats and the school have no baths, he loves coming home for a bath, generations ago a bath was a metal tub in front of the fire and the water was recyled to bath the entire family and wasnt it once a month or something so we have come along way.

 

hope some of the ideas are helpfulxxx

 

JsMumx

Edited May 17, 2011 by JsMum

[JsMum]

I found this which may be of some help, there is quite a bit on the web about social stories.

 

http://www.adders.org/socialstories5.htm

 

JsMum

[jb1964]

Hi,

 

I can see others have mentioned the hair washing thing - my daughter was the same - the whole idea of bathtime for her related to one thing - hairwashing - which would raise her anxieties up massively as she knew what was coming - having long hair made it worse but having her hair cut was another major difficulty

 

From having the water going over her head which frightened her to the massaging of the shampoo and then knowing that afterwards her hair would be all tangled and needing combing/brushing and also that the loud and hot hairdryer would be the grand finale!!!

 

Also, scents, smells from bubble bath, soap, shampoo etc especially lavender makes her head hurt or feel sick - it would be plain bathwater with soap in a mitt (something very neutral like dove -she also didn't like holding soap in her hands) and not a strong smelling shampoo especially not fruity. The feeling after being in a bath too long affected her too - when your fingers or toes go crinkly and she was scared of having her nails cut.

 

I found using a showerhead to rinse her hair off was better - temperature was also another problem - getting too hot makes her feel sick and too cold makes her scared - it was difficult to find a happy medium.

 

We found that after a bath - giving her 20/30mins calming down time (she would usually feel quite faint afterwoods) before attempting to brush her hair or dry it helped. We also used the time in the bath to focus on something else - it became our time (mum/daughter) talk - she never opened up much or spoke much about school etc but that 30mins bath time would be our routine for her to tell me something that had happened that day however small.

 

As she's got older (and she now has epilepsy) she showers which she copes with much better.

Take care, Jb x

Edited May 25, 2011 by jb1964

[darkshine]

Maybe add hoses to the taps so that there isn't a thundering sound when you fill the bath, those shower attachments work quite well (the things for washing you hair with in the bath when you don't have a shower), just remember to take it off as it'd probably look scary.

Is the bath too full?

 

I like some of the ideas given already, the glow stuff looks cool, and finding ways to see what is wrong might help her to feel as though she has some control of the situation, if she can tell you what she doesn't like, it might be possible to act this out, especially things like is it too hot (ow)cold (brrr) or empty (where's all the water face??) full (pretend its up too high), etc or using picture cards as yes/no questions.

 

Years ago a friends little brother was scared of going down the plug hole - bit of a weird one - but phobias can be.

 

The last thing I can think of that may be some use is trying to get her to see the bath as a good place for some other activity - like a game that does not require her to get in the thing - maybe making little boats or swans, using the bath in other ways - imagination required - I used to play with my hamster in it (when it was empty) and make potions from shampoos, and roll marbles in it, its a good place for cleaning up a mess!!! this might help to reduce the negative association.

Good luck

Edited May 25, 2011 by darkshine

[jb1964]

make potions from shampoos, and roll marbles in it

 

Darkshine - that made me smile - thought it was only our house that did that - although we didn't do the hamster thing though - he had his on little bath.

 

Jb x

[darkshine]

[Kathryn]

Years ago a friends little brother was scared of going down the plug hole - bit of a weird one - but phobias can be.

 

I don't have ASD but remember of being absolutely terrified of this too - and of going down the toilet as well. I have vivid memories of pulling up my pants, flushing the loo and making a run for it - I must have been about 5. So it's not to be underestimated as a possible issue - all that gurgling churning water disappearing into oblivion - scary!!

 

K x

[bid]

Just another thought, unless your DD maybe has continence problems, a bath twice or even just once a week is fine in my opinion. Obviously with daily washes inbetween I know that when I was a kid we only ever had a bath and hair wash once a week and I think we were pretty clean!

 

If you have a problem with hair washing, once a week might be OK if she would tolerate dry shampoo once as well? She may not like the aerolsol aspect of it of course I found it very useful and very effective when my DD was left unwell after an accident and bathing/hair washing was physically difficult for a few weeks.

 

Bid