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Supporting Husband

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Hi,

 

After nearly three years of enquiry, my husband has been referred to a specialist clinic for an assessment for Asperger Syndrome. The appointment, however, is on 13th July, about six weeks away, and I am afraid that he will 'get cold feet' and be unable to attend the appointment. I will come with my husband to the assessment, but how can I keep him positive and prevent him getting too anxious?

 

Thanks,

 

J,

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It would be an awful shame to get this far and then miss the appointment.

 

I think you need to get him to focus on the answers and understanding it could bring.

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Hi,

 

After nearly three years of enquiry, my husband has been referred to a specialist clinic for an assessment for Asperger Syndrome. The appointment, however, is on 13th July, about six weeks away, and I am afraid that he will 'get cold feet' and be unable to attend the appointment. I will come with my husband to the assessment, but how can I keep him positive and prevent him getting too anxious?

 

Thanks,

 

J,

 

If you've stuck together this far, you'll see it through.

in my opinion that's a slow, frustrating journey at times, but from the dx (which is both an end and a new start) you can sort of piece some things together and make sense of the person.

Hope it helps :)

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I think its important to remember that nothing will change from it.

 

I also think its important to show him support in a "on your feet soldier" kind of way becuase before i have found that that can help when i have been thinking that nothing will be achieved so there is no point.

 

Its essential that you go with him and im sure afterwards he will think that it wasnt as bad as thought it was going to be.

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Keep him chilled and light and positive .Dont let him wander into any negative scenarios,each day as it comes.Get him to focus on the here and now.

Edited by philipo

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Hi,

 

I just thought I would update. My husband has been diagnosed as having 'mild atypical Asperger Syndrome'. The diagnosis was explained to me, but rather hastily and I am unsure how to interpret it. Does he have Asperger Syndrome or not? Can anyone explain what this diagnosis means?

 

Thanks

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Hi,

 

I just thought I would update. My husband has been diagnosed as having 'mild atypical Asperger Syndrome'. The diagnosis was explained to me, but rather hastily and I am unsure how to interpret it. Does he have Asperger Syndrome or not? Can anyone explain what this diagnosis means?

 

Thanks

 

I understand the confusion: if he's diagnosed with AS, then he has AS...but if it's atypical, in what way is it AS? I think only the person making the diagnosis could explain precisely what they mean. Because AS is a syndrome and a spectrum condition, everyone's experience of it is different, so that last point is true of everyone; the person making the diagnosis has to identify what 'symptoms' they've identified in the individual. But everyone's experience of AS should share some aspects with everyone else's experience of AS, or there wouldn't be a blanket diagnosis and 'AS' would be meaningless. The label 'atypical AS' is not necessarily meaningless, but it does seem to be content-free.

 

Having said that, AS (and ASDs in general) are complex conditions and it can be impossible for a doctor or psychologist to list all the ways in which any individual is affected by their condition. They can identify the 'headline' issues that have led them to a diagnosis, but that still potentially leaves a lot of areas where the individual - and, perhaps, their friends and family - has to look at their own problems, quirks, habits and personality traits, and ask themselves whether they are aspects of their spectrum condition. If they are, that might imply a different approach to dealing with them. Even if they're not, the presence of a spectrum condition might still inform how they're tackled.

 

There's also the fact that many adults receiving a diagnosis have spent most of their life learning how to mask their problems, so any diagnosis might reflect- at least in part - not the underlying condition, but the level of success in hiding it.

 

In short, I guess 'mild atypical Asperger Syndrome' means "Somewhere on the autistic spectrum - so probably having some difficulties in the three general areas of social communication, social imagination and social relationships - but probably managing to cope quite well with those difficulties in some situations, less well in others and not at all in some others. Has some characteristics of AS, but may not have some others...or may have them but they didn't show up in the diagnostic process, or perhaps they've just learned to hide them well. Not so badly affected that they need a carer, but still handle with care". Or something.

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