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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
darkshine

Left Behind

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Mumble   

No, but I left my favourite teddy-bear behind on the ferry when I was 5 and I never quite got over it. :tearful:

 

 

In all seriousness, yes, but I suspect everyone does. If you look hard enough (and let's face it, you sound as good as me at finding evidence of your negative points! :rolleyes:) you'll find someone who did something faster/better than you. However (and this is important) there will also be plenty of people who didn't achieve what you did or who superficially looked to have achieved but actually haven't. Also, we all have different life experiences and histories and whilst I'm very clear that these are not excuses, they can be reasons and they can help you understand why you appear (that's an important word) to be/feel behind. For instance, I'm currently in the 5th year ... of a 3-year uni course. :oops: I've done the 'everyone's better than me, I'm useless' thing, but then I've been helped *tries not to plug CBT! :rolleyes:* to think about this differently. I've tallied up the time I've been in hospital for instance and actually when you take that off I am doing things in the normal time scale and so am doing bl**dy well. Further, how many people haven't managed to achieve what I have achieved at all, regardless of the time it has taken me?

 

Just so this doesn't come across as a 'get over it' post, I was where you were in terms of negative thinking for a long while after my dx. It's taken a huge amount of effort and a huge commitment to change/CBT to get where I am now and I'm still terrified of falling back into my old ways of thinking. :( I do hope you can get some help to address your thinking patterns too. :)

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i feel 'left behind' as compare myself to my friends all time always feel several steps behind .... which frustrating frame of mind be in can be upsetting overwhelming sense of defeat that A.S has control power and has won the FIGHT of mind and life!makes you more glum and depressed like never ending vicious circle!

 

XKLX

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i feel 'left behind' as compare myself to my friends all time always feel several steps behind .... which frustrating frame of mind be in can be upsetting overwhelming sense of defeat that A.S has control power and has won the FIGHT of mind and life!makes you more glum and depressed like never ending vicious circle!

 

XKLX

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Just so this doesn't come across as a 'get over it' post, I was where you were in terms of negative thinking for a long while after my dx. It's taken a huge amount of effort and a huge commitment to change/CBT to get where I am now and I'm still terrified of falling back into my old ways of thinking. :( I do hope you can get some help to address your thinking patterns too. :)

Hi mumble, I wouldn't really mind too much if your reply was a "get over it" post :) since I am mainly posted this to see how other people feel and how they react to it cuz you got choices don't you? So if your reaction was "get over it" well that'd be fair enough but I am also interested in other people's experience of this and not just my own ;)

 

At times I've just sat here and b1tched and moaned about things like being left behind - which is counter-productive cuz it wastes more time - still do it though...

 

Other times I set things in place to try and tackle things, so things like arguing for a CBT assessment - did that and hopefully it'll help with my ways of thinking, I started driving lessons (had 2 so far) and this is another way that I get to tick a little item off my "list"...

 

Of course, I understand that partially this is all to do with my way of thinking, and looking at people who do better can be both helpful or unhelpful depending on how I look at it, also realising that there are people worse off is something I try to keep in mind, but for me this feeling is one of frustration and sometimes panic :P

 

Your example of what you've done is brilliant cuz it illustrates how hard it can be to do things and to challenge your ways of thinking about it and more importantly to 'get somewhere'. But do you find that the getting somewhere can still feel like being left behind? :rolleyes:

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i feel 'left behind' as compare myself to my friends all time always feel several steps behind .... which frustrating frame of mind be in can be upsetting overwhelming sense of defeat that A.S has control power and has won the FIGHT of mind and life!makes you more glum and depressed like never ending vicious circle!

Hi smiley, vicious circles are pretty annoying aren't they? And seeing things that highlight differences is frustrating cuz its hard sometimes to not compare yourself to other people.

 

As for AS - it's hard to know how much is AS and how much its other things that aren't necessarily exclusively cuz of AS - like ways of thinking cuz not everyone with AS thinks this way.

 

It's very difficult to understand everything isn't it?

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Mumble   

But do you find that the getting somewhere can still feel like being left behind? :rolleyes:

Otherwise known as 'yes but' thinking. :whistle: My poor ex-psych used to prepare herself for my 'yes but' thinking if ever she said something about something I had achieved. Even if I did something fantastic that many wouldn't I would always manage to find something negative in it to put myself down. :shame: I still do it quite a lot but I'm definately a lot better than I was. :lol:

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rannoch   

I feel left behind all the time. Achievements (graduating, for example) don't feel like positive events to me, because often they mean that it is time for a life transition. I never feel ready for these transitions at the same time as everyone else.

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Yes, there have been times that I feel this way. I often feel it most when my other conditions are flaring up and everything is getting on top of me, during those times my mind isn't really functioning all that well and it is hard to beat back these kinds of feelings. At times I look at my friends who started the same time as me and are graduating this year and feel sad that it isn't my time. It only lasts for a bit though as when I have my right mind going then I can see what I have achieved is phenomenal, a lot more than anyone expected or told me that I would ever achieve. Like most things I'll get there in my own time :clap:

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Otherwise known as 'yes but' thinking. :whistle: My poor ex-psych used to prepare herself for my 'yes but' thinking if ever she said something about something I had achieved. Even if I did something fantastic that many wouldn't I would always manage to find something negative in it to put myself down. :shame: I still do it quite a lot but I'm definately a lot better than I was. :lol:

Yeees... but ;)

 

(think I need to tackle that too) :rolleyes:

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I feel left behind all the time. Achievements (graduating, for example) don't feel like positive events to me, because often they mean that it is time for a life transition. I never feel ready for these transitions at the same time as everyone else.

I think transitions part of the problem for me too - its an annoying little catch 22 isn't it ;)

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