not sure what to do?

[kerrie]

hi, i am new to this site. my names kerrie, i have a 4 yr old girl and a 7 yr old boy. im on here looking for some advise for my 7 yr old boy ryan. he has alot of personality and behaviour traits and have recently seen the doctor and they say he has alot of autistic traits but can be quite chatty esp if about something he is passionate about and can give eye contact which makes them dought it. he seems very unfriendly but i dont think he means to be that way, he is very scared of noises which is making him go to sleep late at night, and is afraid of the dark and fires. he seems to be doing ok at school and he has got friends, but socially he is not to good. He doesnt tolerate people very well and then tends to lash out at them. his concentration isnt that good. he can be quite obsessive with his toys, when he likes something it is his whole world, he can go to bed talking about his latest lego creation and wake up telling you about it. it is like 1 big show and tell with him, he shows and tells me everything. there is alot of other little things but i think i can go on all day. i was just wondering weather it is just ryans personality or if i should go see someone more about his behaviour. i dont know what to do at the minute. any advise would be appreciated. thankyou to anyone who as took the time to read this.

Edited September 11, 2011 by kerrie

[NickyB]

Hello Kerrie and welcome

 

It's obviously very difficult to say whether Ryan has autism or not, but I certainly think there is enough in what you describe for you to ask for a professional opinion. Giving eye contact and being chatty wouldn't rule it out. My son, who is autistic, has good eye contact, and can talk forever about robots! Did your GP say they would refer you to anyone? If not, you could go back and talk to them again (perhaps ask to see a different doctor). It might be an idea to write things down - maybe keep a diary for a couple of weeks of all the things that are concerning you? It may well be that he doesn't have autism but there are obvious concerns that you need help with regardless of whether or not he is diagnosed with anything.

 

You could try talking to the school SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator). They may have picked up on his social issues, even if he is doing well in the classroom.

 

I hope that helps x

[kerrie]

thnkyou for the reply, i really appreciate it. the gp said i should go and see the school nurse, and then see where i go with that and then to go back and take it from there. some days he seems fine and i think its all in my head, and that does stop me going any further with it. i do think that i will make an appointment with the school nurse, it cant hurt.

[Tally]

Hi Kerrie, and welcome.

 

Eye contact is a common problem in autism, but it is not actually part of the diagnostic criteria. Some people with autism can give perfectly normal eye contact, but find it hard. Others give excessive eye contact without realising it's inappropriate.

 

It's common for people with autism to talk a lot about their special interests, and to continue doing so even when other people are not interested.

 

There's a lot in your post that doesn't sound like a typical child. Autism does sound like a possibility. There is certainly nothing in your post that would rule it out. I think you're right to investigate things further.

[kerrie]

thank you, ive just made an appointment to see the school nurse tomorrow morning so ill take it from there. his personality is definitely not one of a typical child, i have a lot of children around me in the family and most of them tend to walk on egg shells with him. but he really is ok as long as things are going his way, they playing what and how he wants it played. i dont think ive really spoiled him although this does seem like spoilt behaviour. i have constantly told him through the last 6 yrs that he needs to compromise with people abit more, try and be a bit more friendly and try not to be so ignorant to people although all this seems to have done is made him a little withdrawn of people. as a baby he wasnt delayed in his speech and hit all milestones either on time or early and he is fine at school, there is no problems at school, his concentration with his writing and maths is a little bit bad, the last teacher he had there was a big joke of they have to keep telling his name to bring him back to his work. i dont think i have ever been so confused about something in my life. one minute i think he is fine then the next i cant understand why he has this many quirks if he is fine. i really do appreciate all the advise that is being given.

[Tally]

i have constantly told him through the last 6 yrs that he needs to compromise with people abit more, try and be a bit more friendly and try not to be so ignorant to people although all this seems to have done is made him a little withdrawn of people.

If he does have autism, he may not understand what is involved in compromising or being friendly. These kinds of skills may never come naturally to him, but he can learn skills that can help him get along with others.

You might need to break things down a bit more and work on specific issues such as playing another child's game sometimes.

[kerrie]

thanks and i do think that he is coping with everything probably better than me really. ill try and do that and concentrate on 1 thing at a time. im really nervous about seeing the school nurse tomorrow, i just wanted to get it all straight in my head on what i think before seeing her, although im still not sure of what i think.

[baileyj]

Hi Kerrie, hope all goes well with the nurse today. It is a scarey thing to do, but you won't regret it, as you can get the help your son needs, be it autism or not. Good luck.

 

Jo

[Kathryn]

Hope the appointment goes OK: let us know what happens.

 

K x

[kerrie]

thank you all, that it what im thinking, im not convinced he does have autism just could be 1 of them kids, but abit of help with his confidence and sleeping would be good, the nurse is referring him to the local paediatric doctor but there is a waiting list which i expected, she is going to speak to a few people in the school and see how ok he is in school, she said he could be ok at school because its such a set time table that they seem to cope ok in school. i guess i shall just have to wait and see what comes next. Could anybody tell me the main signs of what im looking for?