Lack of clear feeling of self ~ Lack of empathy?

[dana]

Hi all,

 

I have been thinking about my life and my son's ASD. After my son was dx a lot of questions about my own life, it seemed to me, had been answered. First, I realised that I have at least some of the Asperger traits (probably not enough of them to be dx myself). I sometimes felt(specially in my childhood) in dealing with people overwealmed by them, very easily 'loosing my ground', not knowing what to say when I was insulted etc. As a result, I withdrew in my own self-centred fantasy world and books, as far as possible from people. It took me quite a while to get out of it, encouradged by some nice friends I made late in life from whom I learned how to socialise.

 

I always wanted to see the world and situations from others point of view and to truly empathise with them when in distress but did not know how. Only now I realise why I couldn't do that more often. I have a feeling it is because of the self-defence mechanism. I never had a very clear sense of self and going 'out to the others' for me often meant losing it even more. The fear of loosing it completly kept me self-centred many times for years (although people considered me caring and thoughtful but it was learned, rearly with a real feeling behind the action). I was told that my son doesn't have a clear awareness of self either and it often happens with children with autism.

 

I just wonder, can anyone identify with this? Or what I described here is nothing to do with Asperger traits? I am curious what you think of this.

 

danaxxx