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Hi guys I'm Tom, i live in south Yorkshire in the UK.

I have Aspergers Syndrome and live on a farm.

I struggle a little bit with life and social skills but have got alot better recently :)

My biggest problem is I have low self confidence and like some aspies had some bad times at school (bullying) and have suffered from depression which has now lifted.

With support I can be a great guy to know

Nice to meet you all

Tom

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Hi Tom,

 

Welcome. I am a Mom of a reclusive AS teenager. I have only recently joined this group but it has helped me to find many other people going through similar situations and facing similar problems. I hope you will also find it as comforting and as friendly as I do.

 

Kind Regards,

 

Bren

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Hello bubs welcome. >:D<<'>

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Hi Tom,

 

Welcome. I am a Mom of a reclusive AS teenager. I have only recently joined this group but it has helped me to find many other people going through similar situations and facing similar problems. I hope you will also find it as comforting and as friendly as I do.

 

Kind Regards,

 

Bren

hi bren my names glyn i also hav a as son when u say ur son is a reclusive teenager in what way my son seems to b getting worse with each day he refuses school most days as been told by cahs hes depressed and doesnt want to leave the house the last few weeks wich is really worrying and help wud b appreciated.

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glyn - so can personally relate to your son - i didn't want to leave the house socially withdrawn,panic attacks mum took me to the family GP and was referred to general counsellor and from there she noticed 'something didn't fit wasn't right' i was referred onto C.A.M.H.S ( Child,Adolescent,Mental,Health,Service) where i was recognised as having Asperger's Syndrome and secondary depression you feel so trapped ,so empty ,so alone ,scared afraid feel so lost and confused! i was put on anti-depressants at 14 years old ... but hard /difficult when unanswered questions - but you feel you don't know who you 'really are' you can't understand the world or yourself! i needed reassurance everything was going to be o.k but everything felt out of reach ,out of control ... couldn't explain how i felt inside my head my life emotionally a mess /wreck didn't know how fix it make it alright ,better! with A.S i also had official diagnosis of social anxiety disorder which can affect you leaving the house fear/panic of being 'attacked'/hurt etc

 

XKLX

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glyn - so can personally relate to your son - i didn't want to leave the house socially withdrawn,panic attacks mum took me to the family GP and was referred to general counsellor and from there she noticed 'something didn't fit wasn't right' i was referred onto C.A.M.H.S ( Child,Adolescent,Mental,Health,Service) where i was recognised as having Asperger's Syndrome and secondary depression you feel so trapped ,so empty ,so alone ,scared afraid feel so lost and confused! i was put on anti-depressants at 14 years old ... but hard /difficult when unanswered questions - but you feel you don't know who you 'really are' you can't understand the world or yourself! i needed reassurance everything was going to be o.k but everything felt out of reach ,out of control ... couldn't explain how i felt inside my head my life emotionally a mess /wreck didn't know how fix it make it alright ,better! with A.S i also had official diagnosis of social anxiety disorder which can affect you leaving the house fear/panic of being 'attacked'/hurt etc

 

XKLX

cahms hav just put j on melatonin to help with the sleep issues they hav said j is depressed they want to put him on anti-depressants they will do this when we c them again in 2 weeks but its school hes struggling with hes only 11 just gone to secondary must admit they r brill but im lucky if i can get him there 1 day a week and he only has to go for 2 half hrs but because of his depression i dont no if forcing him will do more harm than good or let him stay at home untill camhs hav his depression under control.he wont even go to the loo now unless i check in there first everything seems to b a battle hate seing him sat in the house allday not going out with his friends.

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to give you 'some hope' for his future depression is on -going power struggle/battle everyday but what i had really benefitted from is exercise this helps relieve depression and stress your son just gone through difficult period of transition going onto secondary school all the changes this brings up causing anxiety stress worry like he juggling everything do CAMHS seem to be 'active role' useful helpful towards you and your son/ do you feel anti-depressants would help 'lift' stablise his depression so you can work with him on little steps to bring him back to where he was school etc good positive thing he has supportive school which understands which half the battle to begin with i think pushing him may send him 'over the edge' into panic etc push further into himself his life depression

 

but at same time maintaining outside world of school etc is important for him as losing touch with everyday routine /structure can be nightmare get back into but this will be his depression affecting his motavation of him not wanting to go to school aswell as changes just happened is shock to system takes awhile to adjust sink in! letting him stay at home may let him sink even lower into his depression but then staying off from school give him break time to chill/relax hard core just to recover from depression and work out to go next what to do next is difficult decision if he did stay off school what would he do with himself? on his computer? watch tv? as need plan of action how help and support him which i know hard is CAMHS in touch with his school updating them on his depression situation? when did his depression become an issue noticable? how long he been struggling with it?

 

maybe you need a three way meeting between you,CAMHS and school to see where you do next to help him?

 

 

how does his depression affect him? eating ,sleeping ???

 

xKLX

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to give you 'some hope' for his future depression is on -going power struggle/battle everyday but what i had really benefitted from is exercise this helps relieve depression and stress your son just gone through difficult period of transition going onto secondary school all the changes this brings up causing anxiety stress worry like he juggling everything do CAMHS seem to be 'active role' useful helpful towards you and your son/ do you feel anti-depressants would help 'lift' stablise his depression so you can work with him on little steps to bring him back to where he was school etc good positive thing he has supportive school which understands which half the battle to begin with i think pushing him may send him 'over the edge' into panic etc push further into himself his life depression

 

but at same time maintaining outside world of school etc is important for him as losing touch with everyday routine /structure can be nightmare get back into but this will be his depression affecting his motavation of him not wanting to go to school aswell as changes just happened is shock to system takes awhile to adjust sink in! letting him stay at home may let him sink even lower into his depression but then staying off from school give him break time to chill/relax hard core just to recover from depression and work out to go next what to do next is difficult decision if he did stay off school what would he do with himself? on his computer? watch tv? as need plan of action how help and support him which i know hard is CAMHS in touch with his school updating them on his depression situation? when did his depression become an issue noticable? how long he been struggling with it?

 

maybe you need a three way meeting between you,CAMHS and school to see where you do next to help him?

 

 

how does his depression affect him? eating ,sleeping ???

 

xKLX

i didnt realise that j had depression it was camhs that came to this conclusion j had a lot of trouble at his primary school wich resulted in him refusing to go to school his anxiety levels went through the ceiling crying every morning,primary school let him down badley the last 12 months and all his issues hav stemed from then other than a few odd 1s that cropped up throughout school nothing that cudnt b managed i nearly put a formal complaint in but j left now so seems that they got away with quite a lot that as put j where he is now.j is eating more than ever constantly hungry but i think thats boredom he sits on the computer from the time he gets up till he goes to bed hes become obsessive with minecraft watching episode after episode drives me round the twist lol as for sleeping its something hes never done hence the medication off camhs even as a baby he never slept for more than 2 hrs any 1 time things do seem to b improving slightly i hav to stay in bed untill hes asleep sumtimes it can take anywhere from 2 hrs 2 6 so not much fun for either of us but u do get used to it

camhs r in touch with the school and we hav had meetings all of us 2gether so we r all in the loop so to speak his teacher is the best and senco at school is brill as is camhs so far justhope this can b worked out 4 j dont want 2 force him into school and make him worse but really want him to b in school

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if you don't mind me asking how did his primary school let me down ,fail him? i had lovely infant school just not junior's school for me this where i had major issues struggled difficulties where igorned alot to be honest shunned not believed! didn't have understanding support there is that what your son went through?! i was bullied ( Physically) and i don't think ersonally helped my low self-esteem and has also not helped my mental health issues either

 

i find hard to trust professionals as had so many long list let me down ,break promises made. i used to eat loads when was depressed i would sit of a night when everyone gone bed and just comfort/emotional eat as was empty food helped me cope emotionally i made connection/link chemically made me feel 'happy' inside seemed to 'fix' things for abit! he probably is also eating because he bored.

 

your lucky to have such positive response/experience with CAMHS many people like me haven't been let down and haven't been properly supported how we should have makes you angry i discharged myself from Adult Mental Health Team and all i felt our local CAMHS given me is a name of a condition and gave my mum load of booklet of information on ASD/AS to read up on and felt like sent us away just put me in endless therapies ( CBT,family) and didn't really feel had 'a voice' wasn't asked what i thought! and endless medications which basically didn't work for me just made me put on weight and increased my appetite made me more hungry so ate more! CAMHS made me feel worse felt like treated like number on piece of paper not like actual person! i'm better off without them!

 

you been in touch/contact with LEA? and told them of situation they maybe able to suggest give ideas where to go education wise? or NAS ?

 

i didn't sleep very well when i was a baby used to scream all time when nothing wrong i still toss and turn of a night can't properly settle down and when do feel 'groggy' when wake up real weird/strange but know connected to AS takes me a long while to wake up come to always feel tired like i've had no sleep! hope sleep meds work for him! melatonin is suppose to be really successful in us as we lack it to have natural sleep pattern/cycle!

 

how does your son feel about whole situation ... his depression, his sleep issues and eating issues are going to be linked to his depression to they may get worse or change switch to and from alot!

 

 

XKLX

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if you don't mind me asking how did his primary school let me down ,fail him? i had lovely infant school just not junior's school for me this where i had major issues struggled difficulties where igorned alot to be honest shunned not believed! didn't have understanding support there is that what your son went through?! i was bullied ( Physically) and i don't think ersonally helped my low self-esteem and has also not helped my mental health issues either

 

i find hard to trust professionals as had so many long list let me down ,break promises made. i used to eat loads when was depressed i would sit of a night when everyone gone bed and just comfort/emotional eat as was empty food helped me cope emotionally i made connection/link chemically made me feel 'happy' inside seemed to 'fix' things for abit! he probably is also eating because he bored.

 

your lucky to have such positive response/experience with CAMHS many people like me haven't been let down and haven't been properly supported how we should have makes you angry i discharged myself from Adult Mental Health Team and all i felt our local CAMHS given me is a name of a condition and gave my mum load of booklet of information on ASD/AS to read up on and felt like sent us away just put me in endless therapies ( CBT,family) and didn't really feel had 'a voice' wasn't asked what i thought! and endless medications which basically didn't work for me just made me put on weight and increased my appetite made me more hungry so ate more! CAMHS made me feel worse felt like treated like number on piece of paper not like actual person! i'm better off without them!

 

you been in touch/contact with LEA? and told them of situation they maybe able to suggest give ideas where to go education wise? or NAS ?

 

i didn't sleep very well when i was a baby used to scream all time when nothing wrong i still toss and turn of a night can't properly settle down and when do feel 'groggy' when wake up real weird/strange but know connected to AS takes me a long while to wake up come to always feel tired like i've had no sleep! hope sleep meds work for him! melatonin is suppose to be really successful in us as we lack it to have natural sleep pattern/cycle!

 

how does your son feel about whole situation ... his depression, his sleep issues and eating issues are going to be linked to his depression to they may get worse or change switch to and from alot!

 

 

XKLX

j had his med at 10 just fell asleep thank god hes fine when he wakes in the morning never complains of being tired unlike me lol primary school was great 4 many yrs but last yr j had new teacher and head things just went from bad 2 worse i think the 1st incedent was when a supply teacher told him in front of the class was to stop picking his scabs j suffers with psorasis this made the whole class laugh he was very upset when he came home visited the school she said she cudnt remember saying that but said sorry to j it was a word we never used,then a ta kept shouting in class j hates this she had apparentlet been speaking 2 j and he didnt respond so she thought she cud scream at him in front of the class wich reduced him to tears yet again.this happened on more than 1 occasion hence the fact i spent more time within school than out/ his new form teacher apparentley had taught as pupils but j hated her he had a job at lunch time of setting the tables and his friend wud clear them after his friend was absent 1day so j had to clear them he hates mess didnt want 2 touch the food and refused but his form teacher and 2 dinner ladies stood over him whilst he was sobbing and made him do it when j told me she said it wasnt done that way wich i new was lies 1 thing j doesnt do is lie there were a few more incidents after that wich resulted in me threating a ta school rang and asked me to say sorry wich i wudnt b4 all this j was fine at going to school and even though hes at a different school now the anxiety is to much and he cant cope with it.my heart breaks for him hes told me hes a freak without the as he as psoriasis plus arthritis hypermobility and speach probs plus issuse going to the toilet i think all his probs hav got the better of him and no i dont want him 2 b on anti depresants but if they help im willing to try just want my happy j bak who i havent seen 4 a long time

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Hi Tom, my sons could identify with you as they were both bullied at school too. You sound like a great guy so don't let your lack of confidence hold you back. Its good that you are getting to grips with life now that your depression has lifted.

 

Sandra

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