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cmuir

Kiddo ran away from school resulting in Police searching

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Hi

 

Yesterday was one of the very few rare occasions when I went out for a bar lunch with a couple of colleagues, then my phone rings with the school's number showing up. Kiddo has finally done it – he walked out of school and left the premises. His LA had apparently walked after him and tried to persuade him to come back, but kiddo kept walking and she realised this time he meant business (R has been making noises about running away both at home and in school). Seems that he'd had a difficult couple of days misreading situations and unfortunately the red mist had descended and he refused to listen to reasoning. Very bitter sweet... On one hand I was worried sick as he's not streetwise, and would likely not be thinking straight, etc and I was concerned this could affect his ability to stay safe i.e. crossing roads, etc. On the other hand, I think this is another wake up call for the school, education authority and social work (last week he told his LA that his dad hits him which wasn't true (I was there!) and resulted in a Social Worker being called etc etc). Anyhow, thankfully he was found safe and well, but rather tearful. Police were very nice (perhaps a bit too nice!) and I cannot fault the way that school staff handled things and kept me posted during my 25 minute journey to the school. Would love to say he's learnt his lesson, but you know what, I don't think so. I think that once he becomes upset/cross, he gets to a point where he's unable to control his emotions which is when things escalate. Saw Special Needs teacher whose advised this will be added into his IEP (running away). In a strange way, his behaviour actually gives me amunition to help secure support for his future, however, I could soooooooo live without the drama! (was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease and have so far underwent 3 operations, have high blood pressure, heart problems, etc etc).

 

Caroline.

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Pleased he was found safe and well. Could he be part of the new NAS campaign great expectations?

Im guessing you are aware of 'every child matters' and NAS children campaigns including the mental health one.

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Our son has runaway too. It is so worrying because you have no idea what they would/could do.

 

On one occasion we found my son on the toilet in someones house!! He does know these people via the allotments. And we do use their toilet during social events [shed parties etc]. But we don't know them well enough to call them 'friends', and we certainly don't use their toilet all the time! But this subtle social difference was not understood by him. He had used their toilet before, and felt he now had the right to use it whenever the need arose.

 

It was funny at the time [and such a relief just to find him on that occasion].

 

But we did use all the events of him running/attempting to run away to prove he needed certain professional input relating to emotions, social understanding, stranger danger and self help/life skills etc.

 

I too am not well, and have other family members that rely on me. It is hard keeping everything running smoothly.

 

Get the incident in writing, and if you think it will help get anything extra then use it.

 

This could become a frequent occurance if he can just walk out of the school grounds. They should be working NOW to get him into a routine of going somewhere else within the school if he needs to.

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We had an 'interesting' take on this a few years ago. Our son was becoming more stressed and running out of the school but if he left the school grounds - they said they would not go after him because it was outside their jurisdiction, and we were quoted Health and Safety concerns for the staff (not our Son - lol). They said if it happened they would have to phone the Police.

 

I think that sort of shows the balance in life when a grown adult wouldn't go after a 7 year old !

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We had an 'interesting' take on this a few years ago. Our son was becoming more stressed and running out of the school but if he left the school grounds - they said they would not go after him because it was outside their jurisdiction, and we were quoted Health and Safety concerns for the staff (not our Son - lol). They said if it happened they would have to phone the Police.

 

I think that sort of shows the balance in life when a grown adult wouldn't go after a 7 year old !

 

 

 

Hi

 

Our Education Authority (Edinburgh & Lothians) guidelines advise that staff should not pursue a child for health and safety reasons. The thinking behind this is that if a child is being pursued (walking or running) then the likelihood is that this may cause further distress to the child and cause them to run (potentially into danger e.g. crossing roads/vehicles, etc). In honesty, I can see the logic in that, though that then leaves it up to the police to find the child. In my son's case, he was out of school for around 25/30 minutes, which is a long time for him to get lost or be in danger when in a highly distressed state. Difficult one. I was thinking of providing the school and the local police with a sheet of paper providing details on kiddo's disability, interests/hobbies (which would help someone engage him in conversation), possible route from school to home (1.5 miles), photo, etc.

Edited by cmuir

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What is starting to worry me is that if kiddo gets into the habit of running away, police called, etc etc. that it won't actually teach him a lesson even with usual school/home sanctions. If he does this again, I'm actually wondering whether it's worth not reacting at all i.e. he actually got quite a lot of attention, etc. The gamble obviously is his safety, but my hope would be that he would go back or head home of his own accord like he did.

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That was the point I was trying to make. At the moment, he gets upset/angry/confused whatever, and he then runs away. School can't go after him. He gets away from whatever is causing him distress. But nothing is resolved. This may become his way of dealing with difficult situations, which is not good.

 

School should be seeking advice from the speech and language therapist and the educational psychologist to teach him the alternative [and they have to explicitly teach him the alternative].

 

If school can identify a trigger, they can suggest an alternative when that situation arises again. To be proactive in asking him if he is okay [but again that needs to be assessed to see IF he can recognise his own emotional state and IF he has the emotional language to be able to communicate that to someone]. And if he does not have those skills, they have to be proactive in introducing those measures/alternatives BEFORE he runs away.

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yes, have been in this position many times, always when I was doing something for myself, as you were, did you tell him, I learnt not to, as if I was doing anything other than, working or staying at home I would get that call, they also wouldnt follow him once he reached the gates, (health and safety) and would just phone the police, who as you say were too nice.

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