sawjd Report post Posted February 28, 2012 Hello everyone, Can anyone help. Our k is refusing to attend school again on friday (dressing up day world book day come as a character) The school know on these days in particular he gives grief and becomes violent and refuses to go in. The SENCO has tried to explain to our k that he does not have to dress up and spoke to k in front of me. K refused to talk to him and just kept his head down. The SENCO has said that k was already talking about not coming in and its only Tuesday. Now k has had some time off due to his bowel problems that combined with his other problems this has raised concerns about his attendence at school. The SENCO has given me warning about the Education Welfare wanting to speak to me about his reasons for not attending as its been a little high. Its got better recently and (the school have a new head, it failed its ofsted before so things are turning round ) I spoke to the organisation ACE who said when k refuses school and becomes violent or aggressive i should take him as an emergency to the doctor to cover the day he is off. I cannot be seen as an emergency. The GP has already done a letter stating he gets headaces and feels unwell on days regarding stuff at school. Its the other days when his bowels are bad, now i have rung in to say his bowels are bad. Surely that should be enough. I find it difficult to keep track of everything as my partner is suffering from a relapse(due to MS) its been weeks now. My time is divided. The eldest one is no position to help. Has anybody had to deal with education welfare and what should i be braced for. I know they can fine you for not attending school. We are going through a statutory assessment and i was told that the education welfare can drop in at school to chat to me and that could happen any day. What should i be wary of. Don't need this right now on top of everything else. K got in a bit of bother at school today because according to the teacher ' he did not use his time sensibly and will do this work at home' (this was written on a his work paper) . I am not holding my breath. K is nine and homework is a no no as he.struggles to write.He was having and handwriting exercises at school but that got stopped. Any advice at all would be appreicated. many thanks, sarni Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted February 28, 2012 You need to ask your GP to refer you to Clinical Psychology at your local childrens hospital - ask to be referred to someone, or a team, that works with children with autism. You need a letter from them that you can give to the LA or EWO or school to stop EWO getting involved. You also need ClinPsych to put in writing what his difficulties are, and how he can be supported in school and that should get included in his Statement. The ONLY thing that will get EWO or the LA off your back is a consultants letter stating that his refusal to attend school is due to anxiety relating to his ASD diagnosis and his rigid thinking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly73 Report post Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) I feel for your kid.. give him a big hug for me (if he can cope!).. How old is he?! 9+?? -->Maybe you should read some parts aloud and ask what he thinks.. does he feel the same? Wow... doesn't the Senco realize that your kid is already highly stressed.. His bowles acting up is a classic example..it is rather an autonomus system.. though I know kids that can get so into their head, that the whole system is outta wack. Tálking to him is not getting anywher, if you ask me.. hasn't he been seen by an Occupational Therapist, for advise the school and home. To get more input on what senses are overstimulated and which need to be stimulated (like handcoordination) in a fun and pleasurable way... He is a KID for ***'s sake! Your kid doesn't feel he has any control.. over anything.. No one hears his cry for help, nor sees what hé needs!* Hím acting out.. is his only means to do so.. he hasn't learned to cope on any other way yet.. (and getting punished usually means being set aside: in a room.. by yourself.. FINALLY!! THANK YOU!!) *And that can be highly stressful also.. I think it might be useful to try a whole different approach, for.. everybody can see that thís isn't working. Ask the senco to try another approach! (or is there another senco?!?) And eventhough you kid doesn't have to dress up.. a day like such (also christmas etc) aren't ordinairy or structured. No: éverything is different, it is overly noisy, overly colourful, highly unpredictable, more moving around the class and around the school, more interacting with more than just your classmates, etc etc.. Doesn't the senco gét what that means for a your son?!?! BAM! stress-level 10+ (no matter what your kid is wearing... a futility.. really!!) I highly believe kids should be excuses from 'festivities' if they are being traumatised by them.. If such is know, that he doesn't need to attend.. i guess that will help him keep his cool the rest of the week.. and that will definitly decrease the amount of sickdays! A Senco should be more aware of this.. I'm sorry to say.. Just common sense, or what..?!? To be honest.. I think school is turning it all upside down.. They ought to be stimulating and seeing your kid better, so he feels safe and accepted at school! Instead he doesn't feel safe.. he gets sick of school.. and now they make the parents to blame?!? What a mind-game they are playing!! Edited February 28, 2012 by butterfly73 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy2017 Report post Posted February 29, 2012 Hi, I know how you feel......my son has not been to mainstream school since april 2010......we are going through statutory assessment at the moment.....we have a hoem tutor although now they wont allow iit at home has to be somewhere like library or nurture unit which he doesnt like and cant understand why hes deprived of education because having it out of the home is stressful ......when my son went to school he didnt like dressing up or school trips or anything differnt......my son is 12 nearly 13 .........i spoke to our education welfare officer 2 days ago as his absense was bad i explained what was happening his anxietiies about school etc and told her we ahve a school meeting on the 12th march to talk more ........i did say that we soemtiems think it would be better to home school as he s not getting much education .....she did say we have to talk together as a family and decide what is best fror my son .......at the moment hes offered 5 hours tution a week........and most times its less if hes refusing where tution is taking place so were going round in circles....................i have ms and have an older son at home it is hard some days my husband trrys to help iand since my sons been dx with aspergers it has made it easier tot alk abut things .........dont know if ive been any help but pm me if you want to talk more...... .. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted February 29, 2012 If you de-register him, or say you will home ed the LA no longer has to support your child at all, it becomes your responsibility. Home Ed works for some children on the spectrum. If he has been out of school for so long, have you looked at ASD specific secondary schools? In these types of schools the class size is usually around 8 pupils. They usually have SALTs and OTs employed on site. It is specifically for those children who anxiety levels make it impossible for them to cope mainstream. But the only way you are going to secure that type of placement is by going to an Educational Tribunal. Make sure you get any meetings minuted. I taped our meetings as evidence of how useless they were. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jan63 Report post Posted February 29, 2012 I can understand how your are feeling Sarni. My 14 year old son has been out of school for 4 months now and shows not inclination to return. We were in a similar position to you 5 years ago and I hope that you will be able to avoid complete school refusal. I wish I could tell you how, but I'm still trying to work out what went wrong with my son. The build up to complete school refusal seems to be a gradual process and I think that the school attendance officer getting involved and putting pressure on him (by threatening court for us) may have contributed to his present crisis. We are not currently involved with the attendance officer, but every time she is involved in meetings my stress levels soar. Why can't they understand that having an autistic child is stressful enough, without the added worry of fines and court appearances? I hope they will understand the reasons behind your sons poor attendance and give you the support that you need. Best wishes. x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
