Panic attack - help needed

[robert7111a]

Hi, I am looking for some advice for dealing with panic attacks

 

Last week, I went on a course for my work. I was fine during most of the lectures where there was no interaction but just taking notes. But then, suddenly, without warning, one of the lecturers decided that we should all get into groups of 3-4 to discuss and give views on the topic just discussed. I immediately went into panic mode, broke out into a sweat, got really frightened and I felt like a field mouse with the kestrel above ready to strike. I just wanted to die!

 

I could not call the other delegates my peers. These were all younger people (mainly girls) with MS.c degrees. I went from feeling reasonably comfortable taking notes to being "forced" into a situation well out of my comfort zone. I wanted to leave the room (to pretend I needed the toilet) but I just froze in my seat. I could not participate in the group activity. The topic was very simple but my mind just went completely blank.

 

Any advice/tips of how to deal with this situation would be encouraging - thanks

[matzoball]

Can I ask was it the group itself or the fact it was unannounced that made you panic?

[chris54]

Know the feeling well, we do lots of training at work, and that's the bit I dread.

 

Cant say I'm affected quite as much as I use to be, but I know the feeling inside. And of course I know to varying degrees the other people there. And they know me.

 

I ever end up taking charge or sitting there and not contributing. Depends on the make up of the group.

 

As most of the time we have the same instructors, they now seem to expect that I may just sit there and say nothing.

 

One way to over come to some degree the unannounced bit is to have it in you mind that there will be included at some point this sort of thing, but then that in itself could lead to a panic attack.

 

My way of dealing with panic attacks is a form of meditation, I will focus my mind on one point to the exclusion of all else. It may be what we're doing at the time but it may be some abstract thought.

Edited March 12, 2012 by chris54

[LancsLad]

Robert first point as someone who does have full blow panic attacks it did not get further than this which shows a level of control on your part, you did not say what strategies you used but I suspect they worked.

 

Having done an MA recently and being twice the age of most peers a few things I found useful;

 

Most of my lecturers were aware of my condition as I went to see them about a week before any module and talked through such eventualities, guest do come in however and drop this on you.

 

Always try and sit near perople who you would be happy to work with, even explain to one or two that should this situation arrise could you be included in their group, most find this a real compliment and as such things work out most times.

 

I am going to be hard on this one. These delegates are your peers its just they are younger and of a different sex, you need to accept they have a right to be there, if you can not I as an old male would not want to work with you, harsh I know but if you want to make progreess.

 

Having a thinking routine works and once a group is decided at times you can use this to get a little space, toilet is good because no one will argue against that as we have rights, be carefull if this is a short group activity of a few minutes it is not approriate rather it is an avoidance tactic. If there is time for a 2 minute break you need to decide can the group start without you or not ask them. If they start do not expect to pick it up easy on your return so might polietly ask for a quick summary of what has been said.

 

The final option is to do what you did, look out of the window and make little in the way of a contribution, you won't be the only one and the lecturers will notice over time and your peers will not be too impressed.

 

What you experienced many of us do. I think it is all about mental preperation and management of variables which are in your control and this needs an open approach about issues you face in such scenarios. When things do hit you like this unexpected then its all about management on the spot and knowing what has and has not worked in the past is the key. As I have got older my default position is prepare for such eventualities, and manage things as they arrise, with exposure and experience this sort of thing can be sorted in a bout 10 or 20 seconds in my own head, about the same amount of time it takes others. Whilst I think I have had to take some much needed refelction time I often find I am still in the first wave of getting groups together so it must be the case that a lot of NT's struggle with this as well.

[robert7111a]

Matzoball, I panicked more because of the suddeness of the announcement (so no time to mentally prepare) and I generally do rubbish in groups anyway unless it's on a subject I am really confident about

 

LacsLad, I could not mentally prepare or use any strategies because of the sudden unexpected announcement. And there were no windows to look out of (which I never mentioned in my original post anyway...). To be honest I don't know how I coped, guess I just observed and nodded at the appropriate times. This was a one-off course where most the lecturers had specially flown in from the US/Denmark/Switzerland etc and therefore I did not have the option to speak to them beforehand about my problem. I'm not quite sure why you think that I have the feeling that my peers don't have a right to be there...? Can you explain? Of course they had a right to be there...it's part of our learning and we all paid for the course!

[LancsLad]

"I could not call the other delegates my peers. These were all younger people (mainly girls)"

 

I might have misinterperated your statement if I did my appologies.

[Tanya52]

Hi Robert,

 

I curry with me a tiny container with homeopathy, Aconite 30C. I take 2 tablets every two hours for acute anxiety and panic attacks. Panic attacks are manageable. I’ve been working with mine for years and now they are seldom. When your brain is hijacked , you must take control and separate yourself from this thing. Imagine that you already managed to detach yourself from it. It’s not part of you but something else. You can give it some colour or shape if you prefer. Negotiate with it. Say “ I’ve got no time for you right now, maybe later. Now leave.”

[darkshine]

Everything in your OP is how I feel in those situations. I went on a summer school course for a week a few years ago and this happened so many times - I felt like an absolute idiot and actually did have to leave the room a few times from day 3 onwards.

 

In your example this must have been awkward - I'm assuming your "the other delegates were not my peers" comment meant that you felt that you weren't on the same level on them in some way (either through age, gender, background etc) which would have made it harder to suddenly slip into a different role with them. It's one thing sitting next to someone, its much harder having to suddenly work with them in a group to achieve something! But this also would make it less likely for you to admit that you weren't feeling comfortable - maybe if there was someone similar to you, you might have been able to, for most people share things with people they identify with in some way.

 

Mostly when I freeze up and I'm having a panic attack, nobody sees that I can't hardly breathe or that my chest is so tight and makes it harder to breath, nobody sees that my heart races or that I'm desperately checking for exits, they don't see that I want to die on the spot because I just turn into an anti-social statue.

 

On the very rare occasions that I can't control them I just look like an idiot (my opinion) and I basically get somewhere to be alone very quickly.

 

Since I'm trapped in a house for most of the time due to panic attacks and agoraphobia, mixed with social anxiety and a million hang-ups - I can't really offer much of a solution... I understand how you felt and the following is what I try to remember when it happens.

 

What helps me hide mine (badly at times) is to try and reset my bodily system, so a panic attack starts, and the body goes into what they call "fight or flight mode" which raises heart rate, breathing changes, your body sweats due to the changes and perceived threat - so technically the first step is to understand what happens and why - and the next is to use the understanding to help yourself to try and reduce the effects. Sometimes I tell myself that there's no threat. I try to control my breathing. Or I might step out of the room (if I'm in a room and it happens - this doesn't work outside for me) and essentially tell myself to get a grip - bathroom break is a great excuse for a subtle exit. If I cannot leave the room I try to focus on something in the room or pretend to be writing something, anything to shift the focus from me, me brain and what my body is doing.

 

In another of your posts here you say that you usually do rubbish in groups anyway - this, coupled with the unexpected announcement, in a group of people you might not have been at your most comfortable with, seems a pretty good trigger for your panic attack - leaving the group and unexpected announcement aside - it might be worth having a think about why you don't do well in groups and seeing if you can do something about that or if you want to do something about it (I myself do not perform well in groups, I understand why and have tried to address certain things to make this less of a truth).

 

Best wishes

 

Darkshine

[A-S warrior]

I immediately went into panic mode,

 

 

you should instead go into survival mode. think calmly and go right this is just another challange to overcome and i will be victorius in this situation. when you think like a primal carnivore running from a sabertooth tiger there is no room for "panic mode" just survival and then slaying the beast and running around with the animals head on a stick. strange i know but the only way to overcome panic is by challanging it head on and not being beaten. fear is a very useful tool that can ascend you to great heights, but it can also be detrimental. its all about how you use it.

Edited March 13, 2012 by A-S warrior

[matzoball]

I completely understand where you are coming from - there are a few ways you could approach this, however what might work for you is letting the lecturer know you are on the spectrum and perhaps asking for some sort of schedule or itinerary so you aren't ambushed with group work again.

 

Or if you aren't comfortable with that, maybe being pro-active about it might work for you. Perhaps assuming group work will happen again will mentally help?

[LancsLad]

I agree with Matzoball in that often we need to think through eventualities and plan for them. This means having a few plans in our head which have been thought through. I appreciate that there will be times when we can get caught out but we need to make a balanced judgement about what risks are involved.

 

I myself have had panic attacks where I have ended up in hospital on an ECQ machine for an hour or so whilst they find out if any serious damage has happened, I do not want to go there out of choice. It is also true I do not want to be trapped inside my home fearfull of living a normal life, that has happened to me as well. In reality I have to strike a balance and that is all about preperation and trying to control the variables in my life.

 

In a similar scenario I would make sure I arrived at the venue early and check it out, where are the toilets, where is the nearest exit to get fresh air. I would check out the room get a comfortable chair, sit next to a window and be in natural light if possible, be away from air conditioning units and open a window. The presenter often arrives early, this is not always the case, if they do introduce myself and say I am looking forwards to the day then enquire about the structure of the day. Whe people arrive and they look ok smile then say hi and ask them if they have come from a long way away, often they will sit next to you and you have broken the ice. Every little thing helps even if it is pre programmed and not very natural.

 

I think there are some good posts here offering practical solutions. At a personal level I see a panic attack as an overload on the brain, and just like a child about to put their hand in a fire who you can not get to, I believe the answer is distraction, shouting look at that over there would work on a kid in most circumstances. Shouting out is not appropriate and so I use a finger counting technique where I touch fingers and thumbs in a sequential pattern and count. I then try and reverse the sequence on one hand, virtually impossible and try very hard to do so. In effect I have overloaded my brain with something else which is perfectly harmless. My experience this 10 to 30 seconds of time often makes all the difference, its the equivalent of getting to the child picking them up and walking relaxed away from the danger of the fire. Sometimes you feel you can stay next to the fire sometimes you might need to get away and go to a toilet or get some fresh air. I say this because it is a fight or flight scenario and flight is not always necessary but sometimes it is in our best interest. My finger response lets me make that decision a bit better informed. What I would say is you need to practice your distraction technique a lot for it to work and make the associations in your mind with difficult scenarios. If you do it can more or less become second nature and I can engage in it hands in pockets without anyone knowing as a preventitive measure in many circumstances. You need to find something which works for you but it needs to be difficult, thinking of relaxing clouds will not be a strong enough response at critical times and movement patterns do engage the brain well.

 

a few ideas hope they help.

[robert7111a]

Hi everyone,

 

Thanks for replies, I have been warmed and touched by them all.

 

Tanya, what is Aconite and what exactly does it do? Does it really work or are you just dependent on it and feel pacified when you take it?

 

Darkshine, the delegates were about 10 - 15 years younger than me, a different generation, all had masters degrees in the same subject and mostly girls who were able to give smalltalk naturally. The few men that were there were quiet. I don't have the social skills to start conversations and felt fearful about butting in because if they were interested in me, I would have been invited to join the social group

 

 

Yes I denfinately went into panic mode and something I did not mention was that I got chest pain as well (which somebody here reminded me). But it was out of the question to leave the room. That (IMO) would have really drawn attention to me. And letting the lecturer know I have AS was not an option as there were many lecturers throughout the day and I didn't want to draw attention to myself by going up to them at the start and telling them I have AS. This also didn't seem appropriate either - i.e. either time or place.

 

I was on another course last week with people more my age and level. Again, most were girls. But I felt very different this time after the experiences of the last one and I didn't feel out of my depth. This time I managed to contribute. I have to confess, much of my survival was down to your helpful advice. But we weren't in small groups this time. Individuals asked questions and the lecturer just threw out questions for anyone to answer. I didn't feel I was around "superintelligent" people unlike the last lot who all had masters degrees. These people were more on my wavelength.

 

So once again, thanks to everyone...

[darkshine]

Good luck with things

[robert7111a]

Thank you darkshine

[Tanya52]

Hi Robert,

 

Aconite 30C is a homeopathy product. Some argue that homeopathy is a fake and doesn’t work. I disagree. I’ve been taking it for many years when needed. Some say that people like me experienced a placebo effect. I say, let it be! I don’t care, as long as it helps me. You can pop in to your local health food store and ask an assistant to advise you about homeopathy. Or you can find a consultant homoeopathist if you like. There aren’t any side effects for sure, unlike with allopathic medicines, some of which are extremely toxic.

[Tanya52]

I agree with Warrier,

My anxiety makes me sick too. But I know for a fact that I can only kill it by facing it. If it’s a battle I have my chance to win it. If I surrender to it then it will not give me any mercy.

So, I have to be smart and must learn the game. The good news is that the majority of people are kind and friendly. This should be your mantra. Think about the audience as your friends - helps a lot to relax.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Tanya52

[robert7111a]

Thanks Tanya, I'll look it up x