aggression

[tracey]

Just wondered if anyone else has a teenager with ASD who when loses it

altogether can be violent (only seems to be at home)

Last occasion I was kicked had hair pulled and house was trashed

had to be put in bedroom where no further harm could be done

(apart from door smashed in)

At wits end spoke to lady from camhs who said this was nothing to do with autism

but temper tamtrum, she asked if there was anyone else in family who could

take over but there isnt as I am on my own. Feeling low and exhausted at

the moment any one elst experienced similar

T

[Suze]

Hi Tracey you poor thing this sounds like my son only he,s 9 so the damage is less, he hit me with a stick last week.I would have said this behaviour is found in alot of ASD kids , usually when they,ve become too stressed and have a melt down.Try to work out what the triggers could be and find a reward that can enforce positive behaviour.There are many parents who have older kids who will give better advice, youre not alone.

[Kathryn]

Hi Tracey,

 

Yes we have this problem too. Nowadays the aggression is mainly verbal, although my daughter (16) has occasionally hit out - a lot of this is directed at her dad rather than me. A few months ago she went through a phase of trashing things, throwing CD's around and ripping pictures off walls, which was very frightening, I only left the house for short periods and on returning I used to automatically scan the house to check the windows were still intact.

 

This behaviour is certainly not just a temper tantrum or due to normal teenage rebellion against authority. It isn't put on to manipulate. These rages happen when she is at her most fearful and anxious about the future, unable to cope with others' expectations of her, or frequently when a routine or particular plan is disrupted. At such times the "out of control" feeling which results causes panic and the resulting "meltdown" (shouting, lashing out, destroying things, etc). I know this from talking to her after she has calmed down. She often apologises and says she cannot remember what she did during the meltdown, and I believe her. Teenagers with AS often do not have the ability to recognise the early warning signs of anger or stress within themselves, or to calm themselves down before it's too late.

 

I am no expert - these are just my reflections from observing my daughter and talking to others, and obviously I don't know your child, but I think your Camhs person is barking up the wrong tree. This kind of behaviour is very much a feature of ASD when a child is stressed, often because their needs aren't being met at school, as a trawl through many of the threads here will show. Those who have found the right environment for their child will testify that behaviour improves dramatically, stress decreases and with it, the aggression.

 

I really sympathise with the fact that you are dealing with this on your own. You said in a previous post that you don't like the idea of medication for your child. It's a personal decision. It may help to get you through this difficult time and give you space to gather your strength - you have to look after yourself too. Medication certainly has helped to calm my daughter's anxiety and frequent meltdowns, we could not have coped otherwise. I know others on this forum will have different opinions about drugs. It's vital though, that you are supported by professionals who have some expertise in ASD: I would question the quality of the advice you are getting from CAMHS at the moment.

 

Rest assured you are not alone; you will find a lot of people here identify with what you're going through,

 

K

[Gordie]

I pushed Mum around a bit in fits of anger when I was around 19 or 20, but that was at the height of my depression, and I think it was mostly to do with the unsuitable anti-depressants that I was on and the side-effects they were giving me. It never happened before I started on those pills, and hasn't really happened again since.

 

So maybe it had nothing at all to do with my Asperger's.

 

James

[Elanor]

The lady from CAMHS is wrong - this does have something to do with Aspergers. I agree with Suze - it's about stress and emotional overload. Have a look at this thread - it covers younger children, but the issues are the same.

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...&st=0entry149

 

Violence is a sign of things going very wrong for your son, and I'd advise you to take it very seriously - can you ask for a referral to a psychiatrist at CAMHS?

 

Elanor

[tracey]

Thanks alot for all replies

I think camhs lady said what she did as these rages only seem to be

at home with me,my response was that my daughter does not seem to learn

by her mistakes making fitting punishment difficult ie paying for damage.

Yes Elanor camhs L did suggest appt with psychologist in 2 weeks.

Kathrine: although Ihave always been against med I am beginning to

wonder if it will help as stress is an issue almost all of the time and the

rages can be quite unbelievable waiting for appt with specialist doctor to

discuss this.

Thanks again T

[Clarkie]

Hi, I'm Clarkie - Stay strong OK and take care.

Clarkie <'> <'> <'>

Edited March 17, 2006 by Clarkie

[Suze]

Clarkie <'> <'> <'> <'> , it sounds like it,s been hell for you lately I hope and pray you,ll turn the corner on this and your son will get better. Stay strong and keep in touch with the forum , hope today is a good day. Suze xx. P.S. the happy pills helped me.

[Lesley]

Hi Tracey

 

I teach in a special school for students with AS

We are trained to deal with violent rage attacks

It is in our school a recognised part of AS

 

Lesley

 

PS My son is 4 (AS) and bites / lashes out at home every day. Pre-school think he's an angel. I think he goes through meltdown when he gets home cos he's been suppressing his frustration all day.

Edited July 9, 2005 by Lesley

[annie]

Hi Tracey,

 

My 15 year old has violent meltdowns, he always has done. When he was little it was easier to cope with. Now he is taller than both of us and it is a lot harder to deal with.

 

He has never hit us, but throws things or punches walls. Thankfully, the meltdowns are now few and far between. He has learned to go into his room to calm down on his own, which we know is a HUGE step forward for him.

 

We do sometimes get the verbal stuff from him, but after years of telling him that we will not discuss anything while he is swearing etc he is taking that on board as well.

 

Our son's meldowns always happen when he is stressed and feels that he is not in control of a situation.

 

Annie <'>

[tracey]

Again thanks to you all for replies

It does help to hear from others in or who have been in similar situation

and understand as other people do not.

Camhs Ladyasked if anyother family members could occasionally take over

and give me a break but this is not possible (they dont really understand)

Clarkie what is Isometric Testing you mentioned it in your last post

My daughter was dx by clinical psychologist but not sure what Isometric

testing is.

Thanks T

[kazzdt]

Hi Tracey and all

 

Our Sam is in constant meltdown at the moment and his aggression seems to be be accelerating. He seems to have been getting more and more stressed since his SATS, the end of term just doesn't agree with him, particularly this one in Year 6 as there is no structure to the timetable at all.

 

This week he had a 'play fight' with his brother (they are banned from this) which escalated into a full on fight which when I tried to break it up he directed his anger to me. It resulted in Sam grabbing a butchers knife, pressing it against his chest and saying he is going to kill himself. I shouted at his to put it down and fortunately this time he did. But I was very scared and am not sure how to handle this if it happens again. He has started just trying to push me around a bit lately as well, which I find alarming. This morning he run and jumped on top of his sister and when I told him that he would not gain a reward for that hour on his chart, he run over to me and squeezed his hand round my throat. He let go almost immediately as he realized what he'd done and after he was all I love you and sorry. But I really worry for the future.

 

Sam has AS and ADHD and I never really know what to attribute his aggression to. When he was little he had the usual temper tantrum, rolling on the floor etc, which has now been replaced with aggression. He is on medication for his ADHD. The feeling remorseful after he has done something wrong is a new thing which we consider a huge breakthrough. He says he really doesn't want to do these things, and doesn't know why he does.

 

 

Kazz

[Canopus]

Young teenagers can get prosecuted for attacking people. I assaulted a classmate at school and the matter nearly ended up in court. When the police arrested me they told me that I had committed a very serious crime and could receive a prison sentence. As far as the law is concerned assault is assault and AS doesn't come into the equation.

[Clarkie]

Hi Tracey - I have my sons report from the Clinical Psych in from of me - it is a COGNITIVE ASSESSMENT

[Clarkie]

Hi Tracey - I have my sons report from the Clinical Psych in front of me - it is a COGNITIVE ASSESSMENT which took 1.5 hours using the Wechsler Intelligency Scale for Children. Hope this information is of some help - it gave us the confirmation that someone else finally believed that our child does not see the world the same way we did. Let me know if I can help any further. <'>

Edited March 17, 2006 by Clarkie

[mandyque]

I wonder if any of you may have some tips for me. My dd isn't as violent as many but she is only 8 at the moment and I am concerned that it will escalate as she gets older and it scares me as she is very strong already.

 

At the moment she hates wearing clothes unless they are chosen by herself, but if I allow her to go in her drawers, or give her a limited choice she goes ballistic. Getting ready for school is often a huge battle lately, even though once she is ready she goes on the bus and is happy. I heard a great analogy that sums her up to a T - trying to put an octopus in a string bag!

 

The word Wait is like the red button that launches the attack to her, she simply won't wait for anything and if I say that word she goes into a raging tantrum, nipping, scratching, sometimes kicking, hitting and biting. She seems to know all the most sensitive spots to nip too Queues are a nightmare, trying to get her to understand that video tapes won't work when she has watched them once is impossible, she just won't wait for the tapes to rewind and will get more and more upset ejecting tapes and trying other ones until one works I can't step in to help because she attacks me.

 

She is non-verbal and only understands a small number of verbal prompts, I can't explain things to her because she doesn't have the understanding or vocabulary.

 

Any ideas???

[Kathryn]

Hi Mandyque and others dealing with this issue,

 

You may find this recently published book useful:

 

People with Autism Behaving Badly: helping people with ASD move on from behavioural and emotional challenges by John Clements.

 

I've not had a chance to read the whole thing but I've found it interesting and quite helpful as it has practical strategies for dealing with aggression and violence and is relevant for children across the spectrum.

 

I'm keeping it well hidden from my daughter who would probably chuck it in the bin if she saw its somewhat inflammatory title!

 

K

[nay]

hi my son is 10 he at the age of 7 became so violent and suicidal that i just stormed into my doctors office and demanded help as no one had said asd could do this. a amazing psychologist rang me within an hour and have been with him ever since. anyway after talking to him and his colleges at the mental health unit i have learned that this behaviour is common with asd . also even though i understand many will not like the idea of meds for their child (i know i didnt untill then) their are a number of good meds to help with aggression etc . my son was put on risperdol and for us it has helped , we took him back off recently to see if he neeeds it still (parental choice not docs) and he is slipping back into a angry stressed person talking about killing people again etc. we are thinking about puttin him back on the meds. i know it isnt for everyone but it is worth looking into . take care xx