Someone elses toilet

[lil_me]

Just been reading Vipers post and something stood out.

 

Does anyone elses child on the spectrum or any of the people on the spectrum on the site hate using someone elses toilet ?

 

My son has a total fear of using other peoples toilets it seems, from friends houses, school, shopping centres, anywhere.

 

He will hold in the need to go from 8am on a morning until 8 pm if we are out all day regardless of when I constantly ask him to go.

 

Unfortunately I think this is what leads to his wetting himself and bedwetting as he holds it all the time.

 

Worst thing was went on holiday, took 24 hours (but wet in nappy overnight) to get him to go for a wee in the toilet of the apartment, and amost 6 days to go for a number 2, I almost took him to the hospital when we were there as he was in pain but refused to go.

 

Sorry if this seems a bizarre subject to discuss but its becoming a problem for us more and more as he gets older, he is 6 now.

[Canopus]

My mother doesn't like black toilet seats.

[~Jonathan~]

I put loads of toilet paper on the seats before I get down to business but I kind of hover over the seat even still.

[shell]

my steven has a thing about toilets but his is the reverse whever he goes he has to go to the loo but lots of times he went to his friends for the first time the other day and went to the loo about 8 times in 20 mins

[Viper]

Hi Lil,

 

I am sorry to hear you are having the same problems as us with toileting, but I am so pleased you posted about it. We are having so much trouble with the school (ben starts in september?) and they seem to think if Ben would just go to the toilet (number 2) everything will be fine. What they can't grasp is, even if he does go at home he still wont do it at school, he wont wee at school at the mo, so what makes them think he will do it when he has pooed on the loo?

 

I began to think I was going mad and it was my fault he has this problem but now I know there is someone else with the same situation it makes me feel I am right and not mad or bad as a mother, even my husband thinks things will be beter if only he would sit and poo. It will be beter at home but not at school or outside the house. In fact I think it will be worse because if he is out of the house without a nappy he wont drink or eat as he knows what will happen, imagine him going all day without eating or drinking, it will be dangerouse. Why can't these people see that?

 

Sorry to rant but just felt the need to share with a fellow suferer.

 

Viper.

[lil_me]

<'> Viper , my sons done this for years now so I know just how you feel inc refusing to eat or drink unless I force him when we are out, maybe thats part of the toilet issue, I never thought of it that way.

 

My son will not use the toilets at school, he did at nursery as he was taken in by the teachers and made to try, but I don't know if he ever did anything.

 

I've tried to think why for a while now, maybe he just doesn't see them as toilets, a toilet being the one at home, afterall they tell us our children have 'labels' for everything & like things to be the same. I know my sons very sensitive to smells & when I have taken him into public toilets first thing he says is 'stinks', can even be in ones that smell ok as the air freshner is overpowering.

 

I suppose I just have to keep making him go in, kicking and screaming.

 

shell my NT son is like that, has to test peoples toilets I think, another confusing one as I've no idea why

[Lesley]

Yes -

 

My son (AS dx), husband (self-dx AS), father in law wont use public loos.

Son can't touch the seat - is ok if you put it up for him.

Hubby can't touch bins either

 

Lesley

[alibaly]

Hello there,

 

I think this problem demonstrates the issues our children have with transferring activeties to different settings. There are things my son will only do at home and things he will only do outside, thankfully he's Ok at going to the toilet outside of our home but he will pee in record quick time if at his aunties for instance. I think being patient and persevering over a long period of time is probably the answer to their fears.

 

hth

[Kathryn]

Yes, my daughter has this problem. (I'm sure there's another thread on this somewhere). She has a fear of things being dirty and catching germs from sonmething "strangers" have touched or used- probably justified as far as many public loos are concerned, but she doesn't like eating off "strange" plates etc and pulls her sleeve down over her hand if she has to touch "strange" door handles.

 

Nothing to do with actual cleanliness - she's happy at home and I am the sloppiest housekeeper I know!

[BusyLizzie100]

My ASD son is just the opposite and has to use a toilet wherever he goes: shops, libraries, his older brother's school and especially other people's house - if they have more than one, he has to make his mark in them all. I think he's like a cat marking his territory. Once he's done his business (and almost always it's a poo) he can relax and 'get on with things'.

 

He still needs me to wipe his bottom (aged five and a half), although at school they think he's independent (he just pulls up his pants without wiping).

 

Toilet training was a nightmare and I think it's because he's so terrified of poo that he makes sure toilets are available everywhere he goes. He's never had an accident!

 

Just goes to show how different they can be...

[Tally]

You can buy anitbacterial wipes in a packet like baby wipes. Using them on a 'strange' toilet may make some children feel like it is 'safe.'

[Kathryn]

Tally, I'd never thought of that. It's a great idea. I'm going to buy some to keep handy next time we go out.

[lil_me]

Parazone make them , I use them all the time, toilet seat wipes, can get non bleach ones so no worry of staining clothes

[MelowMeldrew]

Kenneth Williams of the 'Carry On' Films was well know to carry his own toilet seat around with him, not wanting to sit where anyone else had, I don't think this a particular aspie trait..

[Viper]

Who's to say Kenneth Williams wasn't an aspie?

 

Viper

[~Jonathan~]

Kenneth was also known for not letting people sit on his toilet. He dreaded people coming back to his flat in case they needed to go, so he didn't invite them for that reason.

[Tally]

You can also get "Wet Wipes" cheaper and in smaller packets. They're not antibacterial, but it's more seeming clean than actually being clean that's important here.