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obsessive about friends

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I have found that I have become very obsessive about my friends. Worrying about them all the time especially when they are doing activities with other friends which I am not involved with. Is this linked to Aspergers?

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Hi

 

Do you think something bad will happen to them, or do you feel you are missing out and should know exactly what is happening to them all the time? Is it because you don't know if those other people are trustworthy and will have their best interests at heart? You need to acknowledge that your friends know these other people and trust them enough to do things with them. You don't also have to know and trust all their friends, this can be quite hard. You mustn't project your mistrust of people onto your friends and think that they will feel and think the same.

 

Could you ask your friends to introduce you to these other friends so you can get to know them as well?

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I have found that I have become very obsessive about my friends. Worrying about them all the time especially when they are doing activities with other friends which I am not involved with. Is this linked to Aspergers?

 

I find that for the few friends I have I do the same thing. I am constantly worrying that I am excluded or just a friend of convenience for them.

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dont think so much and chiiiilllll, thats what having friends is all about. if there friends that dont treat you well then there not worth it. rember there lucky to be friends with you.

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dont think so much and chiiiilllll, thats what having friends is all about. if there friends that dont treat you well then there not worth it. rember there lucky to be friends with you.

So true and very rational, but, I find that my emotioal side tends to take over in these respects and then my analyitical side takes over. I recently found that a friend was not such a friend and my analytical side is still analysing this nearly 2 months latter. It still hurts, greatly!

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I recently found that a friend was not such a friend and my analytical side is still analysing this nearly 2 months latter. It still hurts, greatly!

 

That's a hard lesson to learn at any age.

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Thanks for all the advice. I suppose I get paranoid because I seem them on Facebook with their other friends and think why can I not have lots of friends like them. but as i read in a book recently friendship should be about quality not quantity.

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Thanks for all the advice. I suppose I get paranoid because I seem them on Facebook with their other friends and think why can I not have lots of friends like them. but as i read in a book recently friendship should be about quality not quantity.

 

Facebook is a double edged sort. I totally empathise with you. I always think why was I not involved in that when I see them on facebook. But then I know I am an auspie and that is that. I have found reading the book Aspergers Syndrome & Social Relationships by Genevieve Edwards and Luke Beardon very good on this.

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It's important to remember that your friends' other friendships and activities do not take away anything from your friendship with them. Your friendship is what it is and if that means you do some stuff with them and not other stuff, it doesn't change or invalidate the friendship you do have. Quality not quantity can apply to this to - it's not about quantity of time you spend with your friends, it's about the quality of that time and enjoying your time together.

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Thanks for all the advice. I sometimes wonder why I spend time working on my friendships with all the worry and anxiety it creates for me.

Possibly becase you have to wade though hordes of false friends until you find some true ones and then you will have a gem which will make you very happy and glad you tried. But it is hard and painful work.

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I am giving Facebook a miss at the moment. I think it works better for me if I don't know what my Friends are up to every second of the day.

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