new to the site and looking for info about help groups

[Paul Armstrong]

hey everyone. have a pretty good handle on the aspergers and i'm being a lot more proactive this year. recently was inspired by a friend's mentoring of people with the same condition as her and so joined a social anxiety help group which was interesting and useful and now has me looking for more groups and ones for people with aspergers. live in London so am open to most anything that's available within the M25. couple of leads i'm chasing up but if anyone's got any information about groups, meetups, or anything along those lines i'd love to hear. and if you've a couple of minutes to spare take a look at my little portfolio of photography (just a hobby really) http://flickr.com/640vsBRB

[darkshine]

I haven't got a clue about self-help groups in your area - but hello from me anyway

[Aeolienne]

Off the top of my head I can cite Northern Lights in North Finchley and ALAG in Kentish Town.

[Paul Armstrong]

hey darkshine and thanks for the suggestions Aeolienne. have you been to either and if you have how'd you find them? and just realised that i don't think i've ever met another person with aspergers!

[A-S warrior]

theres more pepole with it than you think!

[chris54]

i don't think i've ever met another person with aspergers!

 

You will have done, its just that your have not realised.

[darkshine]

Just wanted to say that I looked through some of your pics (from the link you provided) and I gotta say I think they are pretty interesting - enjoyed looking at them so just wanted to let you know I think they are cool

 

PS - looks like you've "met" a few people with aspergers (AS) now

 

Have you put the town/city/village you live into google with the words "aspergers" and "support groups"? (or similar terms) and failing that have you tried putting the county you live in (into google with aspergers support groups)?

[Aeolienne]

hey darkshine and thanks for the suggestions Aeolienne. have you been to either and if you have how'd you find them?

I've been to both. My biggest complaint is that both were for the most part social groups, and I would have preferred something more focussed on practical support to get back to work. And by that I don't mean "have you tried Prospects?" because I have and I'm on their waiting list.

[Paul Armstrong]

You will have done, its just that your have not realised.

 

love the there cocktail of pedanticism and typos, ah just ribbing you Chris. ok maybe i left out a "knowingly" there but it does seem that my contact with other aspies has been limited to those that've married/boffed/killed one

[Paul Armstrong]

Just wanted to say that I looked through some of your pics (from the link you provided) and I gotta say I think they are pretty interesting - enjoyed looking at them so just wanted to let you know I think they are cool

 

PS - looks like you've "met" a few people with aspergers (AS) now

 

Have you put the town/city/village you live into google with the words "aspergers" and "support groups"? (or similar terms) and failing that have you tried putting the county you live in (into google with aspergers support groups)?

 

thank you, it's been a useful outlet for the AS

 

indeed!

 

yeah and i've maybe now a handful of ones to chase up. not as many as i'd expected so i might have to stick with the social anxiety groups too and on the plus side of that the anxiety ones tend to be more regular

[Paul Armstrong]

I've been to both. My biggest complaint is that both were for the most part social groups, and I would have preferred something more focussed on practical support to get back to work. And by that I don't mean "have you tried Prospects?" because I have and I'm on their waiting list.

 

the ALAG one is first Tuesday of the month and the other is a pub crawl group right? one anxiety group i went the second half was more practical than the chit chat theory of the first which hit a nice balance

 

oh and too late i've noticed the multiquote button!

[matzoball]

Welcome Paul!

[Aeolienne]

the ALAG one is first Tuesday of the month and the other is a pub crawl group right?

Not when I last attended - they remained at the same pub (the Tally Ho, a Wetherspoon's) for the duration of the meeting. That was last summer.

[Aeolienne]

More on ALAG: http://www.mcch.org.uk/pages/common/mcch.aspx?pg=8515

[darkshine]

yeah and i've maybe now a handful of ones to chase up. not as many as i'd expected so i might have to stick with the social anxiety groups too and on the plus side of that the anxiety ones tend to be more regular

 

Yeah... well... I was also surprised at the lack of options out there when I got diagnosed and did the same searches.

 

And leaving good old support groups aside - it also shocked me that there is nothing in the way of help groups for important things like work, social problems,

 

And I pretty much gave up when it came to looking for AS specialised people for help with mental health difficulties.

 

Go figure...

 

Good luck anyway

[Aeolienne]

And why is there this assumption that all Aspies like bowling? I can't stand it myself.

[darkshine]

Who mentioned bowling?

[Paul Armstrong]

Not when I last attended - they remained at the same pub (the Tally Ho, a Wetherspoon's) for the duration of the meeting. That was last summer.

 

oh Wetherspoons. on a scale of one to ten how moderate did things get?

 

More on ALAG: http://www.mcch.org....ch.aspx?pg=8515

 

do they still have the help group usual of everyone introducing themselves and a free form discussion too?

 

Yeah... well... I was also surprised at the lack of options out there when I got diagnosed and did the same searches.

 

And leaving good old support groups aside - it also shocked me that there is nothing in the way of help groups for important things like work, social problems,

 

And I pretty much gave up when it came to looking for AS specialised people for help with mental health difficulties.

 

Go figure...

 

Good luck anyway

 

i've come up with maybe a handful of groups at most all of which seem to be only monthly. does seem too that a lot of the options on offer are either for children or parents. when were you diagnosed? i was when i was i think ten and mainly just because a primary school i was trying to get into was stalling on accepting me until i'd been statemented and they'd get the extra funding from it

 

yeah when my friend's example encouraged me to start attending them it did take the wind out of my sails a bit as i'd not even really given thought to the groups available being so few and far between

 

"pretty much", did you stick with and find something eventually then?

 

thanks and you too

 

And why is there this assumption that all Aspies like bowling? I can't stand it myself.

 

Who mentioned bowling?

 

news to me though i can imagine the order and precision of it being possibly calming to someone with autism. also it's one of those sports for people that don't play sports!

[Aeolienne]

When were you diagnosed?

Over 10 years ago, when I was 26.

[darkshine]

i've come up with maybe a handful of groups at most all of which seem to be only monthly. does seem too that a lot of the options on offer are either for children or parents. when were you diagnosed? i was when i was i think ten and mainly just because a primary school i was trying to get into was stalling on accepting me until i'd been statemented and they'd get the extra funding from it

 

yeah when my friend's example encouraged me to start attending them it did take the wind out of my sails a bit as i'd not even really given thought to the groups available being so few and far between

 

"pretty much", did you stick with and find something eventually then?

 

thanks and you too

 

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago

 

Pretty much - meant that I have some contact with the psychiatrist that diagnosed me but nothing ever happens. Sometimes I think I'm getting somewhere and then find out I'm not getting anywhere. I don't really know where anything stands right now.

 

All the mental health service wants to do is blame all my problems on AS - that simply isn't accurate - as such we are in a state of limbo until either I give up, or I finally convince them to stop being blind, or something else happens.

 

To be honest... I'm not sure what to do next...

 

So have you decided to try out a group thing?

[Paul Armstrong]

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago

 

Pretty much - meant that I have some contact with the psychiatrist that diagnosed me but nothing ever happens. Sometimes I think I'm getting somewhere and then find out I'm not getting anywhere. I don't really know where anything stands right now.

 

All the mental health service wants to do is blame all my problems on AS - that simply isn't accurate - as such we are in a state of limbo until either I give up, or I finally convince them to stop being blind, or something else happens.

 

To be honest... I'm not sure what to do next...

 

So have you decided to try out a group thing?

 

ok, how old are you?

 

see i gave up having any contact with the mental health services years ago apart from speaking to my social worker once every six months and the last time that happened it was just because we passed each other on the street. always felt like when i went to see a doctor or psychiatrist that even on entering the building the place was so institutionalised that my IQ was dropping ten points and another ten once i was actually being seen which seemed to me that it was overall doing far more harm to me and my self confidence than good. can sympathise, all my dealings with the mental health services just left me feeling frustrated. not talking down to you or anything but i found self improvement and socialising to have done more for me than medication or traditional therapy

 

exactly the same here

 

what worked for me was putting myself a little outside of my comfort zone and every day doing things things whether it being going for a long bike ride, exercising restraint when it came to my diet, reading a couple of chapters of a Great American Novel, or cleaning or fixing something where i live that were and are clearly of benefit to me. making sure not to stagnate let alone regress

 

went to my first group (social anxiety and public speaking) about a month ago, one for OCD last week (turns out mine is supes mild but still the stress of being in a new social environment was useful to my social anxiety and AS), a social anxiety group last week that was held in a bar/nightclub, and a depression group this week that was revelatory. going back to the first group and the OCD one this week and also thinking of attending one for codependency and another for social anxiety i've been meaning to attend this week and counting down the hours to the depression group on the Thursday after next

 

sorry if it got a bit preachy there, didn't mean it to come across as such

Edited April 22, 2012 by Paul Armstrong

[darkshine]

No not preachy at all - I had some sort of regression of my abilities that started a few years ago and stabilised maybe 18 months ago.

 

Then I was put through the diagnosis process (in denial).

 

The past year and a half I've been trying to deal with eating (I hate food and this is a major difficulty - my food intake amounts to nothing still - but much more than just over a year ago), also trying to sort out sleep pattern I I was on a reverse cycle like a vampire, and trying to get some sort of daily routine etc. Just stuff you know? Like taking care of myself, and talking to people instead of not talking at all, little things really but when they all added up it made a massive problem.

 

I'm 31 by the way.

 

I'm waiting on a referral for a social anxiety group - been waiting - still waiting

 

I'm also starting to consider trying out one of these 'aspie' groups... I've had a look but I'm just not sure its for me...

 

To be honest I've been stuck for a while - I had an extremely bad medication change late last year and it sent me sliding backwards - I just about got on my feet and for the past 3 months nothing has happened because my care-coordinator is off on a several month thing with no replacement, the psychiatrist has long waiting lists to get an appointment, my GP is just weird (thinking of changing surgery), and the guy who used to help me go out every week has stopped coming because of service cuts.

 

So I'm at square one and back to the drawing board... Right now I'm not sure what to do - it doesn't matter though, I'll work it out eventually

[Paul Armstrong]

No not preachy at all - I had some sort of regression of my abilities that started a few years ago and stabilised maybe 18 months ago.

 

Then I was put through the diagnosis process (in denial).

 

The past year and a half I've been trying to deal with eating (I hate food and this is a major difficulty - my food intake amounts to nothing still - but much more than just over a year ago), also trying to sort out sleep pattern I I was on a reverse cycle like a vampire, and trying to get some sort of daily routine etc. Just stuff you know? Like taking care of myself, and talking to people instead of not talking at all, little things really but when they all added up it made a massive problem.

 

I'm 31 by the way.

 

I'm waiting on a referral for a social anxiety group - been waiting - still waiting

 

I'm also starting to consider trying out one of these 'aspie' groups... I've had a look but I'm just not sure its for me...

 

To be honest I've been stuck for a while - I had an extremely bad medication change late last year and it sent me sliding backwards - I just about got on my feet and for the past 3 months nothing has happened because my care-coordinator is off on a several month thing with no replacement, the psychiatrist has long waiting lists to get an appointment, my GP is just weird (thinking of changing surgery), and the guy who used to help me go out every week has stopped coming because of service cuts.

 

So I'm at square one and back to the drawing board... Right now I'm not sure what to do - it doesn't matter though, I'll work it out eventually

 

not asking what is was but do you know what triggered the regression?

 

i had a breakdown in my early twenties and became a recluse but unfortunately i had the opposite problem with food! have you always been that way with eating? same here and still is. i'd managed to fix it some by just not sleeping as much so i was still getting out during the day and it was working for me because i'd been dating someone who even the thought of supercharged me with positivity but then was hit with a stressful month recently that's had me struggling with depression and so this last fortnight i've been waking and being lucky to catch an hour or two of sunlight. was having a conversation with someone last week and their disbelief at my having social anxiety made me realise that what i have now is probably just more a case of social inexperience and lack of social connections than actual social anxiety

 

least now i've a better idea which pop culture references to avoid!

 

encountered the same thing and eventually gave up

 

forgive my jumping to any conclusions but it seems that it's probably not just the AS, that there's social anxiety and possibly a breakdown mixed in there too so maybe an anxiety group could be helpful? also with these more specific groups like the AS ones they're typically monthly and there's fewer of them even here in London. have you tried meetup.com?

 

ah sorry to hear you've had it difficult. are you still on medication? should think about the idea of groups then as they could be an additional support network for you, a focus and starting point

 

it's a bit on the nose but how often do you go out? at my worst i was only going out every couple of weeks to pay bills and do grocery shopping

 

remember a quote i once heard, something like "the path to salvation is both long and hard". or if you're allergic to quotes that sound like scripture...

 

[darkshine]

My brain is dying for the night so I have to quote - hate doing it when I don't think it is necessary so nearly always explain - probably sound like a stuck record to some people with this explanation

 

not asking what is was but do you know what triggered the regression?

 

A minor breakdown - I find it very hard to get myself back on track after regressions

 

i had a breakdown in my early twenties and became a recluse but unfortunately i had the opposite problem with food! have you always been that way with eating? same here and still is. i'd managed to fix it some by just not sleeping as much so i was still getting out during the day and it was working for me because i'd been dating someone who even the thought of supercharged me with positivity but then was hit with a stressful month recently that's had me struggling with depression and so this last fortnight i've been waking and being lucky to catch an hour or two of sunlight. was having a conversation with someone last week and their disbelief at my having social anxiety made me realise that what i have now is probably just more a case of social inexperience and lack of social connections than actual social anxiety

 

least now i've a better idea which pop culture references to avoid!

 

Breakdowns are bad things - I live in hope that I never experience another.

 

My family used to call me The Count - because of my reversed days - it happens to me a lot - keeping something of a normal routine is constant work - I've finally dragged mine round to 11:15am to 3:00am (ish) that's the hours I am awake - this still isn't good enough as a lot of groups are early morning - it takes me 2 hours to get ready to go out (this isn't actual getting ready, like clothes or whatever - its forcing food down my throat and trying to find some bottle to go out at all).

 

Do you mean me saying "aspie"? (pop culture reference)

 

encountered the same thing and eventually gave up

 

forgive my jumping to any conclusions but it seems that it's probably not just the AS, that there's social anxiety and possibly a breakdown mixed in there too so maybe an anxiety group could be helpful? also with these more specific groups like the AS ones they're typically monthly and there's fewer of them even here in London. have you tried meetup.com?

 

I toy with the idea of giving up on 'em - its just annoying that I need them for some things - like referrals and getting help for my studies - beyond that they are next to useless.

 

I think your conclusions are accurate - as I've been saying for 12 months now - to the MH (mental health) team anyway - nobody listens...

 

I've never heard of that site - I've bookmarked it and will look at it later - thanks

 

ah sorry to hear you've had it difficult. are you still on medication? should think about the idea of groups then as they could be an additional support network for you, a focus and starting point

 

it's a bit on the nose but how often do you go out? at my worst i was only going out every couple of weeks to pay bills and do grocery shopping

 

Yep, carbemazepine and mirtazepine - luverly cocktail that keeps my aggression and anger down a fair bit - they also dull everything somewhat so that I have to fight to be cheerful - hopefully that fight comes across and I appear cheerful - if so I'm doing it right

 

I have an appointment in a month - only been waiting for that for 6 weeks already - I will mention the anxiety group referral again then.... Its one that requires a referral unfortunately.

 

How often do I go out? Less than before cuz the service made sure I got out once a week every week.

 

Now. On a bad week not at all - or once if I am forced.

 

On a good week 3 times. This will consist of a walk to the shop/or through a sort of park. And possibly a trip into town.

 

Either way I am accompanied as I freak out on my own still.

 

For interest - the improvement over the last 3 years has been that I sort of feel ok when I'm with someone else - this wasn't the case 3 years ago - it felt almost as bad as being alone - so there has been improvement...

 

The progress was highly marred by my med change (last oct) when I stopped going out altogether. That med change really impacted on my life. I lost so much progress because of it. I've been trying to claw things back but I'm not there yet.

 

remember a quote i once heard, something like "the path to salvation is both long and hard". or if you're allergic to quotes that sound like scripture...

 

Not a fan of scripture but the quote is ok - the path to whatever does seem long and hard - it certainly has been so far.

 

The cat's cool though

 

Thanks

[Paul Armstrong]

My brain is dying for the night so I have to quote - hate doing it when I don't think it is necessary so nearly always explain - probably sound like a stuck record to some people with this explanation

 

 

 

A minor breakdown - I find it very hard to get myself back on track after regressions

 

 

 

Breakdowns are bad things - I live in hope that I never experience another.

 

My family used to call me The Count - because of my reversed days - it happens to me a lot - keeping something of a normal routine is constant work - I've finally dragged mine round to 11:15am to 3:00am (ish) that's the hours I am awake - this still isn't good enough as a lot of groups are early morning - it takes me 2 hours to get ready to go out (this isn't actual getting ready, like clothes or whatever - its forcing food down my throat and trying to find some bottle to go out at all).

 

Do you mean me saying "aspie"? (pop culture reference)

 

 

 

I toy with the idea of giving up on 'em - its just annoying that I need them for some things - like referrals and getting help for my studies - beyond that they are next to useless.

 

I think your conclusions are accurate - as I've been saying for 12 months now - to the MH (mental health) team anyway - nobody listens...

 

I've never heard of that site - I've bookmarked it and will look at it later - thanks

 

 

 

Yep, carbemazepine and mirtazepine - luverly cocktail that keeps my aggression and anger down a fair bit - they also dull everything somewhat so that I have to fight to be cheerful - hopefully that fight comes across and I appear cheerful - if so I'm doing it right

 

I have an appointment in a month - only been waiting for that for 6 weeks already - I will mention the anxiety group referral again then.... Its one that requires a referral unfortunately.

 

How often do I go out? Less than before cuz the service made sure I got out once a week every week.

 

Now. On a bad week not at all - or once if I am forced.

 

On a good week 3 times. This will consist of a walk to the shop/or through a sort of park. And possibly a trip into town.

 

Either way I am accompanied as I freak out on my own still.

 

For interest - the improvement over the last 3 years has been that I sort of feel ok when I'm with someone else - this wasn't the case 3 years ago - it felt almost as bad as being alone - so there has been improvement...

 

The progress was highly marred by my med change (last oct) when I stopped going out altogether. That med change really impacted on my life. I lost so much progress because of it. I've been trying to claw things back but I'm not there yet.

 

 

 

Not a fan of scripture but the quote is ok - the path to whatever does seem long and hard - it certainly has been so far.

 

The cat's cool though

 

Thanks

 

ah it'll take more than that to faze me!

 

yeah i've had two myself and each time my life fell completely apart and it took years to get it back together again but on the plus side i was never really together before so with the second it while taking longer let me build up entirely from scratch and replace my foundations of twigs and straw with something a little more stable

 

ha you've a better handle on the getting up while it's still light than me! do you have the same trouble with drinking that you do eating? just was thinking something like protein shakes might be an option

 

no no, was thinking more along the lines of prepping some sweet ass Duran Duran and Hall and Oates references

 

well to give an example, went to a depression group last week where a couple of the attendees had persistent low level depression that's there regardless of whether things in that person's life are good or bad and so in that situation yeah i can see the need for medication but in a case like mine where i'm depressed because i'm lonely and there's such a clear cause and effect medication would be beyond ridiculous even though i'm sure if i went to a GP they'd prescribe me something readily

 

know it's easier said than done but try to not be reliant on the mental health team's help. spent a couple of years in hospital because i was caught in limbo between child and adult services and i never received treatment beyond endless medication

 

seems to be one of these growth sites that's rapidly expanding. it's pretty cool and it's flexible and open enough that you can set up your own groups too

 

does the aggression and anger have a logical cause?

 

where the odd thing is i've gone from being a recluse to getting anxious when i'm alone at home

 

how long have you had trouble with going out?

 

yeah business cat means business

 

you're welcome

 

 

[Paul Armstrong]

and for anyone in London there's a really amazing group for social anxiety in the Old Street area that runs on a Monday evening from half six to about half eight. it's structured with lots of exercises but the guy running it and the people attending are supes cool and you're sitting on giant cushions so it strikes a nice balance of being relaxed but still constructive. here's a link to it http://www.sashgroup.org/meetings/about-the-group

[darkshine]

yeah i've had two myself and each time my life fell completely apart and it took years to get it back together again but on the plus side i was never really together before so with the second it while taking longer let me build up entirely from scratch and replace my foundations of twigs and straw with something a little more stable

 

ha you've a better handle on the getting up while it's still light than me! do you have the same trouble with drinking that you do eating? just was thinking something like protein shakes might be an option

 

well to give an example, went to a depression group last week where a couple of the attendees had persistent low level depression that's there regardless of whether things in that person's life are good or bad and so in that situation yeah i can see the need for medication but in a case like mine where i'm depressed because i'm lonely and there's such a clear cause and effect medication would be beyond ridiculous even though i'm sure if i went to a GP they'd prescribe me something readily

 

know it's easier said than done but try to not be reliant on the mental health team's help. spent a couple of years in hospital because i was caught in limbo between child and adult services and i never received treatment beyond endless medication

 

seems to be one of these growth sites that's rapidly expanding. it's pretty cool and it's flexible and open enough that you can set up your own groups too

 

does the aggression and anger have a logical cause?

 

where the odd thing is i've gone from being a recluse to getting anxious when i'm alone at home

 

how long have you had trouble with going out?

 

yeah business cat means business

 

you're welcome

 

I've had trouble with "outside" since I was a young kid - outside could also mean family or social occasions too at that time. It got worse through my teens so that by the time I was about 16 I was using certain routes to avoid people whenever possible. I walked in the shadows. I was self-conscious about people looking at me and especially "funny" about people drawing attention to me in public.

 

The real trouble started when I was 18 or 19 when I moved to a new place and it got worse from there. It has been something I have been alternately working on or being ruled by ever since.

 

A year ago my diet consisted of: A complan shake, half a sandwich, and a quarter of an evening meal.

 

Now I have a complan shake, half a sandwich (some days I can eat a whole one), half an evening meal, and I have now added 2 of the following choices per day too - a small own brand packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, a couple of biscuits, an apple, a few grapes. (although some of these additions are not healthy they do at least add more calories).

 

It's a vicious circle in some ways as I have little energy - oddly enough - which makes going out harder as I get tired easily - but cannot get enough back into my system to get the energy back so end up crashing for a couple of hours every time I do anything...

 

I couldn't be doing with drinking more drink based stuff - the milkshake I have now is purely to get something into me in the "morning" - it has limited and probably useless vitamins but it sounds good so what the hell lol - and I guess the milk is ok for adding calcium and all that (its semi-skimmed milk).

 

Breakdowns are not great... obviously - but I find the after effects are often longer than the really bad times making the whole thing drag on...

 

Don't they just love doling out meds I am engaged in a mini-battle over this with my psychiatrist - will I win? Probably not but its worth a go...

 

I am trapped in an area between being reclusive and being anxious when alone - its quite funny in an ironic way - I think it takes some searching to find a better balance.

 

The anger and aggression sometimes has logical causes - like something happens that makes me angry but then because I can't do anything about it I dwell on it - bad bad habit - I am hoping to use the CBT to assist me with that - thereby (hopefully) learning some degree of coping mechanism.

 

The other side of my anger and aggression is not logical, I have a critical internal voice that I don't always have the ability to control - when its gone on and on and on it eventually wears me down. I al also hoping to address this with CBT too - seeing as there is no anger management services in my area - of course there aren't any - I should have known that when I asked a few months ago

 

Not a fan of Hall and Oates... Duran Duran did a few decent tracks though...

 

[Sophina]

Hi Paul, I'm Soph, also new to the site and looking for some contacts. I'm 36 and have two boys with Autism (Joshua 4 and Joe 7, who is most likely Aspergers) Joe also has Dyspraxia. My husband has Aspergers (we found out while our sons were being diagnosed) and suffers from anxiety. He's learnt to deal with it in his own way though. He has a massively demanding job in IT and when I listen to him talking on the phone he's like a machine and I haven't got a clue what he's talking about!! I must say we sometimes have difficulty communicating and he gets the wrong end of the stick and so do I but we always get it right in the end! Be nice to hear from you and your experiences

[Paul Armstrong]

I've had trouble with "outside" since I was a young kid - outside could also mean family or social occasions too at that time. It got worse through my teens so that by the time I was about 16 I was using certain routes to avoid people whenever possible. I walked in the shadows. I was self-conscious about people looking at me and especially "funny" about people drawing attention to me in public.

 

The real trouble started when I was 18 or 19 when I moved to a new place and it got worse from there. It has been something I have been alternately working on or being ruled by ever since.

 

A year ago my diet consisted of: A complan shake, half a sandwich, and a quarter of an evening meal.

 

Now I have a complan shake, half a sandwich (some days I can eat a whole one), half an evening meal, and I have now added 2 of the following choices per day too - a small own brand packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, a couple of biscuits, an apple, a few grapes. (although some of these additions are not healthy they do at least add more calories).

 

It's a vicious circle in some ways as I have little energy - oddly enough - which makes going out harder as I get tired easily - but cannot get enough back into my system to get the energy back so end up crashing for a couple of hours every time I do anything...

 

I couldn't be doing with drinking more drink based stuff - the milkshake I have now is purely to get something into me in the "morning" - it has limited and probably useless vitamins but it sounds good so what the hell lol - and I guess the milk is ok for adding calcium and all that (its semi-skimmed milk).

 

Breakdowns are not great... obviously - but I find the after effects are often longer than the really bad times making the whole thing drag on...

 

Don't they just love doling out meds I am engaged in a mini-battle over this with my psychiatrist - will I win? Probably not but its worth a go...

 

I am trapped in an area between being reclusive and being anxious when alone - its quite funny in an ironic way - I think it takes some searching to find a better balance.

 

The anger and aggression sometimes has logical causes - like something happens that makes me angry but then because I can't do anything about it I dwell on it - bad bad habit - I am hoping to use the CBT to assist me with that - thereby (hopefully) learning some degree of coping mechanism.

 

The other side of my anger and aggression is not logical, I have a critical internal voice that I don't always have the ability to control - when its gone on and on and on it eventually wears me down. I al also hoping to address this with CBT too - seeing as there is no anger management services in my area - of course there aren't any - I should have known that when I asked a few months ago

 

Not a fan of Hall and Oates... Duran Duran did a few decent tracks though...

 

 

slow reply, trying week

 

ah sorry to hear that. been through some similar things but to a lesser extent. so for pretty much your entire life? you're not going out much, is that because the AS or SA has worsened or simply that you find yourself in a situation of being able to implement that avoidant behaviour? sure you're aware of it anyways and i don't want it to seem that i'm talking down to you but from personal experience, recent groups, and two interesting TED talks that someone recommended i watch (i'll link to the first below, the second is the "Listening to shame" one) i've come to realise that avoiding your problems isn't just stalling or stagnating, you'll actually regress if the avoidant behaviour's to the extent that it seems it is for you and it was for me

 

overly reductive of me i know but is a move back to the old place at all possible?

 

have you always had trouble eating? has it caused any health problems?

 

yeah i found when i had trouble going out that i'd get tired incredibly quick both staying in and going out but over the years i've managed to improve my energy levels through continually pushing myself

 

have you tried stepping it up ever so slightly? like going from a 500ml shake to a 600ml one

 

exactly the same here. first breakdown with the hospitalization and the second with the avoidant behaviour of becoming a recluse

 

was always such a short term solution for myself

 

actually had an anxiety attack late at night a couple of days ago on the way home at the fast looming prospect of coming back, suppose it does always but at times like those it just feels like conceding and giving up. certain things that cause the spikes like it being the weekend or in the above case a stressful day. the irony you mentioned reminded me of that of earlier in the week when i went to a codependency group only to find when i got there that it had closed down!

 

try and remember how self destructive anger and aggression are. in my teens i had so much rage towards most everything but one benefit of the two breakdowns is that they mellowed me out to such a point where i now simply don't give any thought let alone worry about things above my station. and again i don't want it to sound like i'm talking down to you but i found i was at my most angry when i was most insecure and even now on very rare occasion when i've said something rash or had a bad thought it's always been because my newly acquired confidence has been dented by someone

 

not a fan, fighting words! and you just reminded me how gross 80's music videos were!

 

Edited April 28, 2012 by Paul Armstrong

[Paul Armstrong]

and the subject matter is unrelated but i was reminded of this truly inspirational speaker regardless of your thoughts on the issue

 

Edited April 28, 2012 by Paul Armstrong

[Paul Armstrong]

Hi Paul, I'm Soph, also new to the site and looking for some contacts. I'm 36 and have two boys with Autism (Joshua 4 and Joe 7, who is most likely Aspergers) Joe also has Dyspraxia. My husband has Aspergers (we found out while our sons were being diagnosed) and suffers from anxiety. He's learnt to deal with it in his own way though. He has a massively demanding job in IT and when I listen to him talking on the phone he's like a machine and I haven't got a clue what he's talking about!! I must say we sometimes have difficulty communicating and he gets the wrong end of the stick and so do I but we always get it right in the end! Be nice to hear from you and your experiences

 

hey Soph!

 

i'd heard of the sometimes overlap of aspergers and dyspraxia. have they been able to attend primary school?

 

how did he take the diagnosis and had either of you suspected it before? maybe a help group for anxiety would be useful then if he's open to it, a couple i've been to attendees have even brought along a family member for support

 

yeah talking this last month with other people that are grappling with depression, anxiety, and aspergers has been really helpful and a relief. well if you've any questions feel free to ask, i'm pretty open anyways and if it'll be of any help...

[darkshine]

ah sorry to hear that. been through some similar things but to a lesser extent. so for pretty much your entire life? you're not going out much, is that because the AS or SA has worsened or simply that you find yourself in a situation of being able to implement that avoidant behaviour? sure you're aware of it anyways and i don't want it to seem that i'm talking down to you but from personal experience, recent groups, and two interesting TED talks that someone recommended i watch (i'll link to the first below, the second is the "Listening to shame" one) i've come to realise that avoiding your problems isn't just stalling or stagnating, you'll actually regress if the avoidant behaviour's to the extent that it seems it is for you and it was for me

 

overly reductive of me i know but is a move back to the old place at all possible?

 

have you always had trouble eating? has it caused any health problems?

Sorry you've had a trying week... I have too

 

Yeah, pretty much my entire life... the worser parts started when I moved to secondary school and got progressively worse from there til I hit rock bottom at 16, well, I thought it was rock bottom at the time - little did I know that things would get very very much worse as each year passed until I got to about 24. I spent those 8 years in a suicidal state of mind, self harming, and in so much internal pain that I just felt I should die.

 

I'm not sure what part SA plays and what parts are AS - whenever I've tried to work it out I get such mixed reactions from other people that I gave up for a while. I of course tried to work this out by myself first but I don't achieve much in the way of understanding...

 

There's no chance of moving back - and even if there was, my family tends to make things worse - they don't understand at all and whenever I try to explain they get very defensive.

 

Eating has been an issue since I was at least 6 or 7 - that's as far back as I can remember - there has been health issues over the years with it.

 

 

yeah i found when i had trouble going out that i'd get tired incredibly quick both staying in and going out but over the years i've managed to improve my energy levels through continually pushing myself

 

have you tried stepping it up ever so slightly? like going from a 500ml shake to a 600ml one

 

exactly the same here. first breakdown with the hospitalization and the second with the avoidant behaviour of becoming a recluse

 

was always such a short term solution for myself

 

actually had an anxiety attack late at night a couple of days ago on the way home at the fast looming prospect of coming back, suppose it does always but at times like those it just feels like conceding and giving up. certain things that cause the spikes like it being the weekend or in the above case a stressful day. the irony you mentioned reminded me of that of earlier in the week when i went to a codependency group only to find when i got there that it had closed down!

 

try and remember how self destructive anger and aggression are. in my teens i had so much rage towards most everything but one benefit of the two breakdowns is that they mellowed me out to such a point where i now simply don't give any thought let alone worry about things above my station. and again i don't want it to sound like i'm talking down to you but i found i was at my most angry when i was most insecure and even now on very rare occasion when i've said something rash or had a bad thought it's always been because my newly acquired confidence has been dented by someone

 

not a fan, fighting words! and you just reminded me how gross 80's music videos were!

 

I will think on what you have said - I know that I am stuck in lots of small cycles that make up a much bigger vicious cycle that has me stuck.

 

Anxiety attacks are part of everyday for me - its where I've got stuck into a stupid mindset of:

 

If I don't do A, B, C, D

 

Then I don't feel bad.

 

It's a behaviour pattern that had become very limiting because I have control over everything and keep my life enclosed and boring and repetitive - then I don't get angry so much, and I don't get panic attacks, and I don't feel bad because I feel I fail or don't do good enough.

 

My appointments have all got pushed back into next month now - I know a lot of people think I'm wasting my time - but for the CBT alone it is a worth a go.

 

Yes its ironic that the group you were looking at closed down I've had that happen before - its ironic that it happens when I am attempting to make steps forward - but I guess you just have to change the plan and look at what else is around.

 

I liked the clips by the way... funny yet informative...

 

Without meaning to sound like a know it all I'd have to say that for myself, I understand this - I understand the topics in the clips (I watched both - 40 odd minutes in total) where my problem comes in is in the doing of things, of changing, having the courage to do it. Because I believe in some ways that I am such an unacceptable person that I shouldn't even exist.

 

Then on another level I don't worry about shame - which is weird because the rest of my life I live in shame - but like on this forum - because I have the time to think, I have a method of anonymity which reduces risk, I can turn my pc off if I want, I can ignore or face things, it provides that leeway for me to interact.

 

I do not find this to be the case in "real" life where when I reveal things people come back with so much stuff of their own that mine gets over shadowed. Or they react in a negative way that makes me very aversive to talking.

 

What did you think when you watched them?

 

and the subject matter is unrelated but i was reminded of this truly inspirational speaker regardless of your thoughts on the issue

 

Very inspirational, I hope we hear from more people like him as time goes on and more children from same sex couples grow up and start to make their thoughts known on these matters.

 

I know plenty of people from the "traditional" sense of family whose parents have totally messed up -

I think what some people are afraid of is difference - difference doesn't always mean bad and that could be scary too.

 

I can't help but wonder if same sex couples will actually do a better job at raising children in some respects... after all, they are less likely to have children "by accident", there's possibly a much higher chance their children are wanted, planned, fought for. I can think of other things but this isn't really the place for that discussion - it should have a topic of its own - probably in off topic lol as its not specifically ASD related

 

The discussion on family he makes though can be applied to everyone - cuz its our families that give us our initial sense of the world.

Edited April 28, 2012 by darkshine

[Paul Armstrong]

Sorry you've had a trying week... I have too

 

Yeah, pretty much my entire life... the worser parts started when I moved to secondary school and got progressively worse from there til I hit rock bottom at 16, well, I thought it was rock bottom at the time - little did I know that things would get very very much worse as each year passed until I got to about 24. I spent those 8 years in a suicidal state of mind, self harming, and in so much internal pain that I just felt I should die.

 

I'm not sure what part SA plays and what parts are AS - whenever I've tried to work it out I get such mixed reactions from other people that I gave up for a while. I of course tried to work this out by myself first but I don't achieve much in the way of understanding...

 

There's no chance of moving back - and even if there was, my family tends to make things worse - they don't understand at all and whenever I try to explain they get very defensive.

 

Eating has been an issue since I was at least 6 or 7 - that's as far back as I can remember - there has been health issues over the years with it.

 

 

 

 

I will think on what you have said - I know that I am stuck in lots of small cycles that make up a much bigger vicious cycle that has me stuck.

 

Anxiety attacks are part of everyday for me - its where I've got stuck into a stupid mindset of:

 

If I don't do A, B, C, D

 

Then I don't feel bad.

 

It's a behaviour pattern that had become very limiting because I have control over everything and keep my life enclosed and boring and repetitive - then I don't get angry so much, and I don't get panic attacks, and I don't feel bad because I feel I fail or don't do good enough.

 

My appointments have all got pushed back into next month now - I know a lot of people think I'm wasting my time - but for the CBT alone it is a worth a go.

 

Yes its ironic that the group you were looking at closed down I've had that happen before - its ironic that it happens when I am attempting to make steps forward - but I guess you just have to change the plan and look at what else is around.

 

I liked the clips by the way... funny yet informative...

 

Without meaning to sound like a know it all I'd have to say that for myself, I understand this - I understand the topics in the clips (I watched both - 40 odd minutes in total) where my problem comes in is in the doing of things, of changing, having the courage to do it. Because I believe in some ways that I am such an unacceptable person that I shouldn't even exist.

 

Then on another level I don't worry about shame - which is weird because the rest of my life I live in shame - but like on this forum - because I have the time to think, I have a method of anonymity which reduces risk, I can turn my pc off if I want, I can ignore or face things, it provides that leeway for me to interact.

 

I do not find this to be the case in "real" life where when I reveal things people come back with so much stuff of their own that mine gets over shadowed. Or they react in a negative way that makes me very aversive to talking.

 

What did you think when you watched them?

 

 

 

Very inspirational, I hope we hear from more people like him as time goes on and more children from same sex couples grow up and start to make their thoughts known on these matters.

 

I know plenty of people from the "traditional" sense of family whose parents have totally messed up -

I think what some people are afraid of is difference - difference doesn't always mean bad and that could be scary too.

 

I can't help but wonder if same sex couples will actually do a better job at raising children in some respects... after all, they are less likely to have children "by accident", there's possibly a much higher chance their children are wanted, planned, fought for. I can think of other things but this isn't really the place for that discussion - it should have a topic of its own - probably in off topic lol as its not specifically ASD related

 

The discussion on family he makes though can be applied to everyone - cuz its our families that give us our initial sense of the world.

 

and even when i thought things were looking up as i had a date lined up for tonight she rescheduled at the last minute and in the filthy weather i was faced with the anxiety of going home so instead went to a pub by myself for the first time and while it was ok it wasn't my date and also reinforced the point of my trying to suddenly force new friends and socialising which for most other people is something that has come naturally over decades. ok rant over! what's been trying you?

 

seems from what you've said that a lot of this is tying into issues of self-worth. like i was asking about the anger are these issues of worth logical or not? where with me there was a mixture of logical and illogical but i was able to work on the logical and that eventually pulled the illogical while maybe not totally in step a few steps behind

 

yeah i'm not sure to what extent my AS and SA are in play either. for instance i was talking with someone a couple of weeks ago and their disbelief at my having had or still having SA was such that it made me realise that what i've got now is likely more a case of social inexperience and lack of social connections than actual social anxiety

 

but you said something about that area was better for you. was it more built up and urban?

 

mind my asking if you've a diagnosis for that eating disorder?

 

i'm not saying to go straight into the deep end trying to make yourself do A, B, C, D all one after the other but if you tried the mildest of those and even then did so in a way where there's still a fallback and safety net...

 

not that it really makes any difference but what was their excuse for the rescheduling of the appointments? i agree that it's worth sticking around with their bs just for the CBT as i've heard mixed things about it but still it works for some people

 

but of all the group subjects for it to happen to! i really needed the support of a group those few days and one for codependency would have been brilliant to what i've been going through so i felt completely lost to find out it wasn't still running but even right there in the immediate defeat of it i could see its delicious humour. been a couple of times over the last month or two where something has happened that's been so punchline heavy that i've half been expecting Ashton Kutcher to leap out and shout "PUNK'D" at me, on a side note do you think he shouted the same thing at Demi Moore when they broke up? and what was the group that folded on you for?

 

honestly i at first watched them most only because a woman at a group that i think liked me recommended them so i made sure to so i'll have something straight off the bat to talk to her about if she's there next week! but yes they struck a nice balance between humour and education and i agree with what you said about knowing some of the points already but i found it did help to hear them laid out so clearly and reiterated. the points of being unafraid of your weaknesses and of increasing your connections by putting yourself in more situations where you can make those connections. unacceptable to who? shouldn't live your life by anyone's measure stick but your own and even then should remember what she said of kindness starting with one's self

 

it's good to have that but try not to become too reliant on it and use it as a crutch as the only time you feel i don't know, i suppose a lack or reduction of AS or SA

 

you find in real life it can turn into a pissing match of tales of woe? i've encountered the adverse reactions and that's one of the reasons i started looking into and attending groups so i could open up without so obviously being judged

 

anecdotal i know but i've found gay couples often to be really cool and positive people that seem genuinely happy. and also there's the part of heterosexual relationships having that background unease of disproportion and a very sensitive power dynamic

[darkshine]

Hey

 

Back to quotes again

 

and even when i thought things were looking up as i had a date lined up for tonight she rescheduled at the last minute and in the filthy weather i was faced with the anxiety of going home so instead went to a pub by myself for the first time and while it was ok it wasn't my date and also reinforced the point of my trying to suddenly force new friends and socialising which for most other people is something that has come naturally over decades. ok rant over! what's been trying you?

 

seems from what you've said that a lot of this is tying into issues of self-worth. like i was asking about the anger are these issues of worth logical or not? where with me there was a mixture of logical and illogical but i was able to work on the logical and that eventually pulled the illogical while maybe not totally in step a few steps behind

 

yeah i'm not sure to what extent my AS and SA are in play either. for instance i was talking with someone a couple of weeks ago and their disbelief at my having had or still having SA was such that it made me realise that what i've got now is likely more a case of social inexperience and lack of social connections than actual social anxiety

 

Sorry about your date - total bummer when someone cancels or reschedules - especially if you sort of live parts of life around perfect time keeping and planning

 

The thing trying me right now in life is that I'm thinking over and over and over about my diagnosis of AS - I've spent much private time over the past year trying to disprove my dx and failing big time cuz all I do is find more and more evidence that the dx was accurate - another ironically funny thing if I force myself to take a step back and look at what I'm doing - which is essentially torturing myself!! It's also ironic in that there are people out there dying for a dx and I have one and don't want it.

 

Mix this in with the trying to disprove it and its a very messed up picture - for this moment in time I see the funny side. . . I probably won't later

 

I have very little self worth - I also have a mix of illogical and logical - I really want to bring this up with the CBT person as I've heard that logic works well with that. Its dumb to live life according to stuff that isn't true or stuff that doesn't make sense - believe me I know!! But its not always so easy dropping those negative belief systems or irrational ones!

 

It's good you are aware that your SA has maybe moved into a new stage where you potentially can deal with some of the effects. Personally I'm still stuck highly in SA mindsets - mixed with features of AS it gets too stressful and tiring for too much of the time. I am hoping to get into a place similar to where you are kinda at and see if I can take it from there... all I gotta do is get to one place to get to another (a map would really really help lol).

 

but you said something about that area was better for you. was it more built up and urban?

 

mind my asking if you've a diagnosis for that eating disorder?

 

i'm not saying to go straight into the deep end trying to make yourself do A, B, C, D all one after the other but if you tried the mildest of those and even then did so in a way where there's still a fallback and safety net...

 

not that it really makes any difference but what was their excuse for the rescheduling of the appointments? i agree that it's worth sticking around with their bs just for the CBT as i've heard mixed things about it but still it works for some people

 

Yeah, my home town is like a ghost town compared to where I live now - the population difference is doubled where I currently live - there's more traffic - more people - more people (did I mention more people?)

 

Nope, no dx for eating - I think of myself as walking a fine line on it - its a battle every day though.

 

Things were rescheduled cuz of job changes (to put it briefly) there's lots of other reasons, and as annoying as it is I don't mind too much as the reasons are valid and understandable - so long as it isn't a regular occurrence

 

but of all the group subjects for it to happen to! i really needed the support of a group those few days and one for codependency would have been brilliant to what i've been going through so i felt completely lost to find out it wasn't still running but even right there in the immediate defeat of it i could see its delicious humour. been a couple of times over the last month or two where something has happened that's been so punchline heavy that i've half been expecting Ashton Kutcher to leap out and shout "PUNK'D" at me, on a side note do you think he shouted the same thing at Demi Moore when they broke up? and what was the group that folded on you for?

 

honestly i at first watched them most only because a woman at a group that i think liked me recommended them so i made sure to so i'll have something straight off the bat to talk to her about if she's there next week! but yes they struck a nice balance between humour and education and i agree with what you said about knowing some of the points already but i found it did help to hear them laid out so clearly and reiterated. the points of being unafraid of your weaknesses and of increasing your connections by putting yourself in more situations where you can make those connections. unacceptable to who? shouldn't live your life by anyone's measure stick but your own and even then should remember what she said of kindness starting with one's self

 

It's annoying when the first choice of help is unavailable - especially when the link to what you need help with is so clear and direct... What I find is that looking at it again and seeing if there's something that relates to the issues at hand in a less obvious way. So in my situation there's no anger management available at all - so anxiety management and CBT are sorta similar cuz its stuff to do with those areas that makes me angry in the first place. So an indirect solution (I'm pretty impressed with my thinking these days - only a year ago I'd have slumped into depression then spent 3 months being angry and then mistrustful and bitter) there are some minor improvements they aren't reliable or lasting but at least there's glimmers of hope!

 

I hate clichés - its why I avoid group stuff cuz I get the impression that it happens a lot!! It just makes me so angry too because the obvious sayings people use are so obvious and I'm thinking "well if it was as simple as that I'd have done it already wouldn't I?" or other non helpful internal thoughts on similar lines. The last thing that would help is listening to a load of do gooders spouting happy crappy nonsense at me

 

I think he did shout PUNK'D at her.

 

Yeah those points in the clips were hard hitting - so long as you aren't afraid to hear it (if you know what I mean - generally not you personally btw). It does not surprise me that a woman was behind you watching them lol there's some good stuff in em though... I liked the bit where she was talking about the guy who wanted to ask her a question at the book signing - and the bit where she said she needed a therapist for a year after her studies - that made me laugh.

 

it's good to have that but try not to become too reliant on it and use it as a crutch as the only time you feel i don't know, i suppose a lack or reduction of AS or SA

 

you find in real life it can turn into a pissing match of tales of woe? i've encountered the adverse reactions and that's one of the reasons i started looking into and attending groups so i could open up without so obviously being judged

 

anecdotal i know but i've found gay couples often to be really cool and positive people that seem genuinely happy. and also there's the part of heterosexual relationships having that background unease of disproportion and a very sensitive power dynamic

 

Isolation is a brilliant cure for most social anxieties and inadequacies - shame that isolation is also the thing that makes the anxiety and inadequacy worse!!!

 

I find that a lot in life - almost everyone I know is completely unable to discuss things without it turning into a pissing match - I sit there thinking why does pain/depression/woes have to be a competition - and equally (although I don't tend to do it) there's people who do it the other way best car/most money/who's met what celebs etc drone drone drone

 

I feel this conversation has been an equal comparison of experience - not many people can do that... of course I am flawed.... there has been times when I've literally thrown everything I've got at someone - this only happens when I get angry or stressed though

 

The thing that gets me about groups is there's always set people there - you get the yes person, the no person, the I wanna be leader, the pushy git, the know it all, the back stabber/shite stirrer, the I've done everything person. And you might get a couple of comparatively normal, decent and honest people. I've been members of voluntary groups (MH group by the council, drug help group, the police's advisory group, and a "service user" understanding of disability and sort of signposting group (yes its long that last one but its was all one bigger service))

 

All these groups were to do with enhancing or providing a service to the groups of people they focused on.

 

I will briefly add that I was able to do all this following CBT several years ago - I stopped going to all of these groups (apart from one that shut down) about 4 years ago (approx as I can't quite work it out) this was cuz I had a major regression that I've been sorting out ever since - I've still got nowhere - hence the second try at CBT - which I hope to learn from my previous mistakes and all that cuz I got hindsight now and I find hindsight to be very very useful.

 

I haven't met hardly any gay couples - only singletons (both sexes) - for the reasons you state and others I think that in terms of love and commitment (this is in people who actually want long term relationships) I could easily imagine that things could be more honest and fair - but then I'm speculating. . . I do know from one guy who said "you think you've seen fighting with straight couples? Now imagine it with 2 guys who won't talk or back down, or two women who just have to be right or won't let things go" It made me laugh cuz I've seen a fair few stereotypical domestics and then to imagine 2 of my dad for example or 2 of my mum arguing and I get this cartoon clip in my head that goes to stupid extremes. I think in some ways we are all the same - but I also think that anyone who differs from the "traditional norm" has to fight more in life, they have to have balls sometimes you know? I think maybe that struggle can add qualities to a person.

[trekster]

Hi and Welcome

 

DANDA (multiple neurodiverse disabilities) has groups in London.

 

There's also 'the contact group' and a few day centres run by NAS.

[trekster]

I've been to both. My biggest complaint is that both were for the most part social groups, and I would have preferred something more focussed on practical support to get back to work. And by that I don't mean "have you tried Prospects?" because I have and I'm on their waiting list.

 

There was 'Work step' and 'Work prep' when i was visiting my job centre but they didn't really help me either. Dunno if you have applied for ESA or volunteer work.

 

Also waiting for Prospects.

[trekster]

More on ALAG: http://www.mcch.org....ch.aspx?pg=8515

 

"

Skills for Work project

 

We received funding from The Mercers’ Company to provide a weekly work skills group for job seekers. Members in the ALAG group can access workshops in this project.

Topics discussed:

• Understanding your condition
  
• Personal strategies for managing emotions and anxieties
  
• Social skills for the workplace
  
• Applying for jobs, work experience and accessing courses
  

For more information, please email Ethney Anderson at ethney@autismlondon.org.uk "

[trekster]

I was diagnosed a little over a year ago

 

Pretty much - meant that I have some contact with the psychiatrist that diagnosed me but nothing ever happens. Sometimes I think I'm getting somewhere and then find out I'm not getting anywhere. I don't really know where anything stands right now.

 

All the mental health service wants to do is blame all my problems on AS - that simply isn't accurate - as such we are in a state of limbo until either I give up, or I finally convince them to stop being blind, or something else happens.

 

To be honest... I'm not sure what to do next...

 

So have you decided to try out a group thing?

i cant get recognition or diagnosis of my MH problems in my county because and i quote "we dont treat autism"!

[Aeolienne]

"

Skills for Work project

 

We received funding from The Mercers’ Company to provide a weekly work skills group for job seekers. Members in the ALAG group can access workshops in this project.

Topics discussed:

• Understanding your condition
  
• Personal strategies for managing emotions and anxieties
  
• Social skills for the workplace
  
• Applying for jobs, work experience and accessing courses
  

For more information, please email Ethney Anderson at ethney@autismlondon.org.uk "

I emailed Ethney attaching my CV and she replied: "We can have a chat on Tuesday at ALAG but looking at your CV and the points in your email, I wonder if you might be better suited to the Prospects graduate scheme." Plus ça change.

 

Re your earlier message: I've tried to find voluntary work in London, but with little success. For instance I applied to Heath Hands (http://www.heath-hands.org.uk) but it took them the best part of a year to equip me with regulation work boots. English Heritage are not looking for volunteers at the moment, although the London Wildlife Trust are as of this month.

 

Is ESA tied to DLA or income-related benefits? In either case I don't think I'm eligible.

[darkshine]

i cant get recognition or diagnosis of my MH problems in my county because and i quote "we dont treat autism"!

 

 

Yeah someone said that to me too - so I said "well what about MH probs... do you treat them? Or is this MH service not really for MH?" I then went into how MH issues affect me and how some are nothing to do with AS.

 

It is very frustrating!!!

 

I also got told that certain treatments like CBT are "not appropriate for people like me" - which is BS cuz you read stuff about ASDs and so many of them say CBT is the main treatment!!!

 

Honestly these services are total rot.

 

I stick to my guns that depression, agoraphobia (in particular - there are other MH issues) are not diagnostic criteria of autism and as such they should be treated regardless of my dx - I have to have the same argument approx every 3 months I refuse to be sidelined because of my AS dx when certain things are not AS!!!

 

In addition they are writing people off - I think that people on the spectrum can learn - we can change and develop and improve - its unfair when services don't give us that chance!!!

 

I did get CBT allocation (I haven't had it yet cuz of personal circumstances - am phoning this week to see if they really kept it on hold for me) but I really had to fight for it - they weren't even going to refer me for an assessment for it - they weren't even going to ask the powers that be to see if I could even be considered for an assessment!! They just said no!! So I found stuff online that recommends CBT for people on the spectrum and I made a case as to why it would help me - and I told them it was my human right to be taken seriously and not written off cuz of AS.

 

The stupid thing is - is that when I saw the psychologist for the assessment for CBT to see if I was "suitable" - the lady said straight away that it would be perfect for me!!! It makes no sense that the trained people say yes, while the lower orders say no to everything.

 

What help would you want if it was there for you?

Edited April 30, 2012 by darkshine