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Mandapanda

Son going into psychiatric hospital tomorrow

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My youngest, Aw, is going to hospital tomorrow. He is extremely unlikely to co-operate so they will probably have to section him. It's all very scary, but we cannot carry on anymore like this. He needs proper help to overcome his depression, and obsessive thoughts about insects and germs.

 

Me and hubby are very frightened about how he'll react. I'm also worried how it will affect his older brother who is coming to the end of his A-levels. The doctors think he will be angry for a couple of days and then settle down and get on with it. I really hope they're right!

 

:crying::tearful::pray:

 

 

 

 

This smiley represents what my son used to be like - and we hope he can be again...

:star:

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Hi mandapanda, I know exactly how you feel. My son Glen who is now 18 went in a hospital for a 12 week mental health assessment in 2010. How long is your son going in for? Glen was very angry when he first went in but he did calm down so I'm sure your son will to. You have done the right thing by your son, it isn't an easy decision to make as I found but I'm glad I did. Will you be able to see him when he is there and will he be coming home for visits? As this is what happened with Glen, we went to see and he came home twice during his 12 week stay.

 

Please let update me on how your son gets on, I'm sure all we go well. Thinking of you. :-)

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Last few days I have become a bit unsure about which posts to reply to and am not sure if what is being asked for are responses from parents who have been in similar positions. If so then please do not read further.

 

As someone who has spent time in such places as an adult and has faced section orders himself this is a very difficult and very frightening place to go to. Admission is bound to be traumatic what else could it be if you were of reasonably sound mind, to casually walk in and accept this move would be very worrying in so many ways. I know in a similar scenario my partner was very anxious but had to simply trust the judgement of medical professionals. In my case I was not too sure and had to look to her for advice on this matter. Her response is they are going to section you anyway the best thing is to have your options open as much as is possible and so I voluntarily went in. Your son might need the same type of reasurances. I also needed to understand that if in my partners opinion the admission was not working she would try to get me out which she prommised. Again you might need to give your son some real reassurances because I believe at times he may think the whole establishment is up against him and he will need to know that you are at the very least analysing the situation and are taking a balanced view. By going through these issues it is in his own interests to volountarily walk in, this does not mean he has to be fine about it, who should,but rather see it is in his best long term interests.

 

The one thing I will say about these establishments in my experience is they run on very strong routine and can be very boring places to be. As such after a period of time they can introduce a strong level of stability. Some of this is a natural process of adaptation some of it is down to medical regimes around drug application. I have mixed feelings about this but believe there is a time and place for this sort of regime, though I think long term considerations are often overlooked in respect to short term advantages.

 

I also found being around other individuals with comparable issues was a real wake up call for me and along with time to reflect I started to get a perspective in respect to the point I had reached in my life. I was not happy being in a secure unit and knew it was not an option I wanted to pursue for an extended period of time so I reached the view I had to accept I needed help and try and move forwards. Sometimes we have to reach the depths before we can start to climb again.

 

What I will say no matter what you and the rest of your family are going through please try and see this from his perspective if you can. As soon as I read the post and saw he was 15 years of age I had little thought to your own feelings on this, rather my heart went out for him. Tomorrow I will be thinking about Aw and hope things are not too traumatic for him, I am not sure how I would have coped with facing what I had to at his age. He will get through this and you have to believe things will be better for him in the long run. I do suspect he might have a very rocky week or so in front of him and he has my thoughts.

 

Best wishes to all of you.

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Hi MandaPanda,

 

I just want to say that I hope things improve for you all.

 

I hope once AW has gone through the initial shock of being there he might be able to see his way out again and hopefully have a better quality of life.

 

I personally went through every negative emotion when I initially went in so its best to be prepared for that. I actually got down on my knees and begged not to be left there - which was very hard for the person taking me there - I said everything I could think of from begging, to emotional blackmail, to anger - I calmed down after a few days once the shock died down.

 

I found that after my stint in hospital (through voluntary section) I was particularly motivated to get out again. I also found that once I got out I was very motivated to not go back in.

 

My thoughts are also with AW - and you and your family as you go through this

 

Best

 

Darkshine

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Hi again mandapanda you are doing the right thing for your son and yourselves as a family it will be hard for you all tomorrow but remember your son could come out a far more motivated person as lancs lad has said. I have been through this with my son as you know so I do know how you are feeling. It will be a difficult week but it will get better trust me. Thinking of you all and please P.M. anytime. :-))

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Good luck mandapanda,hope it goes as well as it can.xxx

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Just adding my best wishes for all of you for tomorrow and for the next few weeks. Just try to hold onto the fact that this will pass and things will improve.

 

~ Mel ~

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The hospital phoned me today and it turns out they were expecting us to just take him in. They said they couldn't possibly arrange a section at such short notice (they gave us the date). They said they could do it next Thurs. We've both booked the day off work and been all keyed up over the weekend. The intensive therapy guy thought they were sectioning him tomorrow as well. He's going to come in the morning and try to 'encourage' Aw to go with us to the hospital as the bed is available but it's highly unlikely that he will. What we don't want is for him to have a week to wait knowing he IS going into hospital as I wouldn't be able to leave him as we would fear for his safety. If he does get really bad he could be admitted as an emergency but he would have to go into a different hospital until the right one was able to take him as they don't take emergencies (even though the bed's available from tomorrow). It's been an emotional afternoon and evening!

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Hi I do hope the intensive therepy guy will be able to convince your son to go into hospital he really needs to go tomorrow it wouldn't be good for him or for you if he had to wait until next week, knowing that he has to go into hospital. With my son he wasn't aware he was going into hospital so he went into the vehicle quite easily. Even if I had told him he wouldnt have known what I had said as he hasn't got the understanding if you see what I mean. I do hope as I say it all goes ahead tomorrow the sooner he goes the sooner he will get the help he needs. (( ))

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Sorry to hear this - it's a difficult enough situation without the added confusion and uncertainty. Thinking of you tomorrow and over the coming week, Mandapanda, keep us posted as to what happens,

 

 

K x

Edited by Kathryn

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Yes as Katherine has said please do keep us updated we are all feeling for you and your son and really want him to get the help he deserves. (())

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The intensive therapy guy, Alex, came and we impressed on Aw that he HAD to come down and listen to Alex. Alex stayed just over two hours talking to Aw. Aw point blank refused to go to hospital, saying he doesn't need to, but he did listen and talk to Alex.. We now have a plan for him to follow each day, incorporating some things he'd started doing plus some others. He's to try and follow the plan for the next week or so. He's been told that the doctors may still decide that hospital is in his best interests. He doesn't know that anything is planned for next week, and of course if he does make very good progress this week, it could be called off anyway.

 

Many thanks to darkshine and LancsLad for your experiences and point of view. It is very helpful. It is easy to get wrapped up in what you yourself are feeling and forget to think about the other person's point of view.

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Hi there sorry to hear that your son didn't go into hospital today, please make sure he goes next week, it will be the best thing for him and for yourselves, remember as he gets older he gets more stronger I don't want you to end up like me scared of my own son, please think of your safety and that of your son's.

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The intensive therapy guy, Alex, came and we impressed on Aw that he HAD to come down and listen to Alex. Alex stayed just over two hours talking to Aw. Aw point blank refused to go to hospital, saying he doesn't need to, but he did listen and talk to Alex.. We now have a plan for him to follow each day, incorporating some things he'd started doing plus some others. He's to try and follow the plan for the next week or so. He's been told that the doctors may still decide that hospital is in his best interests. He doesn't know that anything is planned for next week, and of course if he does make very good progress this week, it could be called off anyway.

 

Many thanks to darkshine and LancsLad for your experiences and point of view. It is very helpful. It is easy to get wrapped up in what you yourself are feeling and forget to think about the other person's point of view.

 

I think its going to possibly be a difficult and challenging time for both your son and you and your family - from the sounds of things you guys need some time to just get your personal resources built back up again, I know from your posts that you've all been pulling your hair out and stressing. Having your son somewhere safe for a while could be as much benefit for you guys as it is for your son - if only to give you some breathing space.

 

Most of all I just hope it helps you all - your son is 5 or 6 years younger than I was when I was sectioned (although mentally and emotionally I wasn't in a much different place to your son). I hope he can see things for what they are, I hope he can find some hope and interest in his own future - if this happened things would be so much easier on you and your family (it cannot be easy having to try and force someone to do things and look after themselves all the time, while banging your head against a wall when it feels like there's hardly any help with this).

 

It might sound harsh but this could be the short sharp shock he needs to see things - even if he uses it like me as a negative push - like when I said earlier about not wanting to go back being very motivational - even so, my own steps forwards have been tediously slow.

 

It would be prudent to expect a lot of anger from him to begin with - the first couple of weeks might be hell when you visit for example...

 

In a bizarre way I sort of ended up liking the place - the routine the fixed rules, the repetition etc - I'm not sure whether it could an issue for a younger person or not, but I'd really want to make sure that the people there keep the focus in his mind that he is there to get better and then leave - you don't want him turning around and saying he prefers staying there - because he needs to know why he's there and what he has to do to leave - its about self awareness but also about awareness of others too.

 

He's at a funny age where he's leaving childhood behind and I can't help but wonder if his behaviour is all about trying to avoid what will happen all too soon - that he'll leave the child world behind somewhat and step into the big confusing unpredictable and downright scary adult world - this was a very big problem for me....

 

I will be thinking of you all through this time

 

Darkshine

 

PS - if there's anything I've said that you would like further elaboration on please ask as I've been a little brief (by my standards anyway lol) I don't mind sharing my experiences further on here, or via PM if you'd prefer...

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I couldn't agree more with what darkshine has said. I feel exactly the same this could be so beneficial to your son going into hospital and hopefully will motivate him for the future. Thinking of you all and fingers crossed that he does go next week.

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Good luck, Mandapanda, with the coming week. An alternative view is that the threat of going into hospital could be just the motivation your lad needs to make the changes he needs to in order to stay out of hospital.

 

~ Mel ~

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I think its going to possibly be a difficult and challenging time for both your son and you and your family - from the sounds of things you guys need some time to just get your personal resources built back up again, I know from your posts that you've all been pulling your hair out and stressing. Having your son somewhere safe for a while could be as much benefit for you guys as it is for your son - if only to give you some breathing space.

 

Most of all I just hope it helps you all - your son is 5 or 6 years younger than I was when I was sectioned (although mentally and emotionally I wasn't in a much different place to your son). I hope he can see things for what they are, I hope he can find some hope and interest in his own future - if this happened things would be so much easier on you and your family (it cannot be easy having to try and force someone to do things and look after themselves all the time, while banging your head against a wall when it feels like there's hardly any help with this).

 

It might sound harsh but this could be the short sharp shock he needs to see things - even if he uses it like me as a negative push - like when I said earlier about not wanting to go back being very motivational - even so, my own steps forwards have been tediously slow.

 

It would be prudent to expect a lot of anger from him to begin with - the first couple of weeks might be hell when you visit for example...

 

In a bizarre way I sort of ended up liking the place - the routine the fixed rules, the repetition etc - I'm not sure whether it could an issue for a younger person or not, but I'd really want to make sure that the people there keep the focus in his mind that he is there to get better and then leave - you don't want him turning around and saying he prefers staying there - because he needs to know why he's there and what he has to do to leave - its about self awareness but also about awareness of others too.

 

He's at a funny age where he's leaving childhood behind and I can't help but wonder if his behaviour is all about trying to avoid what will happen all too soon - that he'll leave the child world behind somewhat and step into the big confusing unpredictable and downright scary adult world - this was a very big problem for me....

 

I will be thinking of you all through this time

 

Darkshine

 

PS - if there's anything I've said that you would like further elaboration on please ask as I've been a little brief (by my standards anyway lol) I don't mind sharing my experiences further on here, or via PM if you'd prefer...

 

Hi darkshine

 

I thought people with AS were supposed to lack empathy :lol::peace: - you clearly don't :notworthy::clap:

Your post is wonderful and is very reassuring. I'm blowing hot and cold on the hospital thing. Yes we need a break, and yes we feel he needs help with his insect and germ phobias and possibly with mixing with people again. But I also realise he will find it extremely difficult and upsetting, and he is indeed likely to be very angry.

 

He seems to have a drive about him since Weds, and is doing more, even unprompted. Someone else is coming on Saturday from i2i as Alex is on leave - we'll have to see how that goes (Alex will have fully brief them).

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I think the truth is its hard at times for us to have empathy with people where we have not experienced what they are going through as this requires a reasonable amount of emotional imagination.

 

I think when you have been in a unit such as this the emotional memeories are very strong indeed and easy to reconnect to. From a personal perspective I think there is a logical process where people will need time to make adjustments to the reality of new environments and new regimes. Your son will be no different.

 

Since my time in such units I have gone back to similar places and worked with patients on interior design and garden design projects. What I found disheartening about such visits and meeting some wonderfull people along the way was how people can become institutionalised. I know when I was in a secure psychiatric unit there was a point towards the end of my stay that like Darkshine I felt really comfortable in being there it felt very safe. For me I knew that that was not really a good response as it was in my mind the first sign of dependancy setting in.

 

I think you all will have a lot of ups and downs along this journey but I would say be concious of extending it beyond the point where it will have served its purpose. From your own perspective there might be some compelling reasons to do so Manadpanda, but keep the best interests of your son at heart. I have met a lot of people whos life never seems to reach a point of stability as they are constantly on a cycle of being in and out of these places. I have also met people where this pattern has resulted in permanment hospitalization over many years and i am sure at the start of the process that was not the outcome many people envisaged but one thing can easily lead to another. If your son is angry and impatient then I personally would see that as a good sign as long as he is facing up to his issues in a positive way, it would be when he became quiet and passive that I would be really worried for him. From your initial observations it seems that this might be a good decision for him, fingers crossed and best wishes.

 

Just a few thoughts.

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Hi Mandapanda, I have just sent you a P.M. At the end of the day you have to decide what is best for you and your son. I know you will make the right decison for you both. Thinking of you (( ))

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Hi darkshine

 

I thought people with AS were supposed to lack empathy :lol::peace: - you clearly don't :notworthy::clap:

 

I'm best at empathy when I've experienced something and then something inside me can focus on what that's like - or what something feels like.

 

But when I say "feel" its not just a mental thing and its not fixed - its like being a radio that's trying to tune into stuff and a lot of the time there's buzzes and whistles and static - but when I'm able to tune into a station momentarily I get that certain clarity of sound from that station. I don't know if that makes sense? But when it clicks right it just hit me like a wave of stuff - it blasts through me and when that happens I can feel a lot of what someone is feeling or experiencing.

 

The thing is that its only ever bad stuff that this happens with - like pain, hurt, grief, worry, anger, confusion - these words don't do the emotions justice....

 

The rest of the time it is hard for me to put myself into someone else's shoes - I don't know how people are feeling a lot of the time - I can't pretend to be them and know what they think or feel - I don't care about people en masse - news stories don't really touch me - gossip doesn't even register - if I don't know someone I usually don't care about them.

 

Only when its like the tuning thing do I have a completely different experience and then its weird because I see something in a completely different way. Its very confusing being so mixed - how I can do that on one hand and then on the other hand seem like a heartless git.

 

I never thought for one minute when I joined this forum that this could work with writing too - but I find all too often it does - at those times I just want to help because I know how it feels and its not good and I start typing stuff and its a different me - but I hope that in doing so I make some sort of a positive out of my experiences and maybe help people feel better or to see things in different ways - or even if its just so they know someone understands in a different way to how some other people understand :)

 

Your post is wonderful and is very reassuring. I'm blowing hot and cold on the hospital thing. Yes we need a break, and yes we feel he needs help with his insect and germ phobias and possibly with mixing with people again. But I also realise he will find it extremely difficult and upsetting, and he is indeed likely to be very angry.

 

He seems to have a drive about him since Weds, and is doing more, even unprompted. Someone else is coming on Saturday from i2i as Alex is on leave - we'll have to see how that goes (Alex will have fully brief them).

 

I've learned there's some times where you just have to take each day at a time - maybe this is life for you right now? Like reassessing by the day - its hard and distressing and did I mention hard?

 

I often find that one day further down the road I often look back and realise I survived it, or got through it, or things have changed without my knowing at the time.

 

Someone used to say to me when I was younger "we'll get there in the end eh?" and I guess we kinda do...

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I think when you have been in a unit such as this the emotional memeories are very strong indeed and easy to reconnect to.

 

That makes a lot of sense.

 

Please believe me when I say that we would not leave him in hospital longer than absolutely necessary just so we could have a rest - and of course hospitals such as this should never encourage that as there will be other more urgent cases needing the bed. We'd be more than happy for him to work with Alex at home, but he is flatly refusing to do so. It's a very difficult situation and as parents we do try to do the best and right thing but it's not always clear what that is.

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The rest of the time it is hard for me to put myself into someone else's shoes - I don't know how people are feeling a lot of the time - I can't pretend to be them and know what they think or feel - I don't care about people en masse - news stories don't really touch me - gossip doesn't even register - if I don't know someone I usually don't care about them.

 

I wonder how much people are really able to put themselves in other people's shoes anyway, or are they just imagining how they themselves would feel in that situation - not quite the same thing.

 

You certainly don't come across as a heartless git on here! Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very helpful to me.

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I wonder how much people are really able to put themselves in other people's shoes anyway, or are they just imagining how they themselves would feel in that situation - not quite the same thing.

 

You certainly don't come across as a heartless git on here! Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very helpful to me.

Thanks and you are welcome :)

 

I'm not sure how people do that - that phrase used to make me laugh when I was a kid because I really thought that you had to walk in someone's shoes, when someone said to me "put yourself in their shoes" I'd look at the persons feet and wonder how I could do that :lol: "how would you feel?" worked much better as I could relate to those words and think of examples and stuff, you know? But again, only in exact and very specific circumstances - the rest of the time I'd be guessing and there's always too much to guess about so it seems pointless even trying as nobody can think of every variation of everything in the whole world... that's impossible!

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Mandapanda whilst I along with others such have Darkshine have had experiences which are not too pleasant in secure psychiatric units, and I think there are issues with them, they do serve a purpose.

 

I think environment plays a very large point in contextuallising issues. Though the reasons for my admission were very different I can remember lying naked on a matress with no covers locked in a very empty room well designed for someone in my mental state and being checked every hour with a torch through a small window in the door counting the night down thinking how did I get here and why? Whilst this experience was disturbing on many levels being at home curled up in bed knowing tomorrow I would have the opportunity to recycle thoughts and possibly act on them was a far worse alternative. At that point my partner knew she was unable to play a positive role in my life in the short term at least. These place do act as a wake up call for many of us and as such are important places in our lives.

 

Based on this fact I would be of the opinion that hospitalisation is the best approach if professionals feels your son has to be placed in a realistic context for him to understand the nature of some of his problems. To use another example I am sure there are lots of parents out there who in hindsight would wish their children had spent a week or so at a formative stage of their development in a prison environment at the first signs of petty criminal behaviour, rather than two years down the line they are in for stretches of a year or more.

 

I think if you can see things from this perspective then making this decision may be a lot easier. At present you may feel that a short term stay in a unit might be disproportionate to the realities of the current situation. I am sure your son as would any teenager feel this was unfair and simply punishment at first. Whilst he thinks like that it will feel like a prison environment and punishment, but these feelings diminish given time. I think you all need to take advice on where if unchecked his thought patterns and behaviours might lead in future. In this context it might not be disproportionate to have a weeks or so's stay if this means preventing long periods of hospitalization in the future. I think the important thing is that it needs to be handled with that mindset. In your position I would try and meet as many people who might come into contact with Alex and make them aware that if this is the route which is taken that is your parental feelings after all they will be acting in your place in care of a minor and they should respect your feelings and wishes.

 

best wishes.

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Hi mandapanda, lancslad has made some good points I totally agree with what she is saying about the benefits that your son could get out of going into hospital for a short period if the professionals still agree this is the best place for him to get the help he needs.

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To add something I think a big element in this being successfull, and that is what we all want is their experiences of dealing with individuals of his age and maturity. In my opinion we often have a real weakness in service provision when it comes to the transition zone between childrens services and adult services. I think it is often easy to think what a childrens ward should look and feel like in a regular hospital scenario, far more difficult to make sure these places are not patronising to the teenage client.

 

When it comes to mental health and provision of this nature I am not sure what the environment will be like as I only have experience of such places as an adult and as a guess would have thought the youngest individuals who I shared the unit with were possibly in their early twenties at best. There would have been no reason as to why a teenager could not be in a similar unit but I think if that is the case I would try to plan some provision to keep them occupied. I know from personal experience so much of the day at the time seemed to revolve around cigarette breaks, and as a non smoker I was not in the loop. I felt in a way I could find my own space in my room and after a couple of days was allowed in some drawing and art stuff. This was great untill a nurse came along and would drag me out of my room and insist I spend time in the main group, I can now see the logic in this but for me it was a break from things which I was doing to fill the time.

 

Now that you have a bit of time on your hands to plan if this is to be a reality these are some of the elements of a potential stay you might want to explore. Its not about creating a holiday camp atmosphere that would be impossible, the experience will be sureal as it is. But it is about striking a balance and I think anyone on the autistic spectrum can be quite set in routines and some of these might need to be considered. I know in my own case I was having real problems because I was not allowed for a few day my own pillow, which goes everywhere with me, fishing, in laws, holidays etc... The unit just couldn't see how important this was for me, its these little things in his life which might be important in Alex having a good attitude about the possibility of a stay.

 

JeanneA what was your experience as a parent was this a case of adult services making accomodations for your own child and their needs given their age. Where they specialist services targeted for young people or was this an adult unit?

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Thank you LancsLad. Even though you don't sound like it was a good experience for you, you appreciate the potential benefits of a hospital stay. I agree we would rather him go for a while now than for longer or more frequently when older.

 

I think we would be fortunate in that Aw would go into a special unit for 12-18 year olds. Aw doesn't actually like routine, I have suspected he has Pathological Demand Avoidance. My eldest with AS likes routine.

 

We actually managed to go down town with Aw today and got him new shoes, went to the cinema, and went to Game and Waterstones. He's supposed to sit and eat dinner with us today but I really don't think he will.

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To add something I think a big element in this being successfull, and that is what we all want is their experiences of dealing with individuals of his age and maturity. In my opinion we often have a real weakness in service provision when it comes to the transition zone between childrens services and adult services. I think it is often easy to think what a childrens ward should look and feel like in a regular hospital scenario, far more difficult to make sure these places are not patronising to the teenage client.

 

When it comes to mental health and provision of this nature I am not sure what the environment will be like as I only have experience of such places as an adult and as a guess would have thought the youngest individuals who I shared the unit with were possibly in their early twenties at best. There would have been no reason as to why a teenager could not be in a similar unit but I think if that is the case I would try to plan some provision to keep them occupied. I know from personal experience so much of the day at the time seemed to revolve around cigarette breaks, and as a non smoker I was not in the loop. I felt in a way I could find my own space in my room and after a couple of days was allowed in some drawing and art stuff. This was great untill a nurse came along and would drag me out of my room and insist I spend time in the main group, I can now see the logic in this but for me it was a break from things which I was doing to fill the time.

 

Now that you have a bit of time on your hands to plan if this is to be a reality these are some of the elements of a potential stay you might want to explore. Its not about creating a holiday camp atmosphere that would be impossible, the experience will be sureal as it is. But it is about striking a balance and I think anyone on the autistic spectrum can be quite set in routines and some of these might need to be considered. I know in my own case I was having real problems because I was not allowed for a few day my own pillow, which goes everywhere with me, fishing, in laws, holidays etc... The unit just couldn't see how important this was for me, its these little things in his life which might be important in Alex having a good attitude about the possibility of a stay.

 

I totally agree about the smoking thing, I smoked when I went in and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have come out of my room at all (other than the forced food and medication times and for the bathroom or the phone)... I wonder how they do that now with the ban on smoking... I know that if the people I was in with had to smoke outside they/we would have been escaping all the time.

 

Your pillow example reminds me that I was fortunate - I was allowed to take in whatever I liked so long as it wasn't something they deemed dangerous to myself/others/the building - even though I was only in there a relatively short time I ended up with a binliner of stuff to take when I left.

 

I got assessed very shortly after I went in - by 5 docs!!! at once!! I don't remember much else other than them saying at the end that I didn't fit into their little boxes on their forms.

 

They didn't really do anything where I was...no classes or group stuff and no therapy - but if you were good you could go out with one of the trusted inmates for half an hour - I did that a couple of times... stupid thing cuz we all went shoplifting... I was also allowed out when my friend visited and we'd hike 5 miles to go and get maccy d's or kfc - which after institutional food was absolutely brilliant

 

It was great leaving the place because I sort of escaped through a loop hole - I requested xmas at home and was granted it - I got my friend to convince someone to pick me up in a van, I threw my binbag in there and I never went back :dance: and I never have since and never will again. I remember that day because even though I was still really ill I smiled for the whole 10 mile drive home and it was like being a fugitive hiding in the back of the van - it was great - I've never felt so free!!!

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Hi Glen went into a unit for youngsters of about ages 11-17 it was children's services then not adult services. He was assessed for 4 months in total. Glen is now in a care home where he is doing very well. During Glen's 4 month assessment it was suggested that a special need care home is possible the best way to go for Glen and after much thinking that is what I did.

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Really pleased to hear there are units for children out there both in the case of Glen and for Aw if it goes that way. I was not aware of such things .

 

Thanks.

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If you suspect he has PDA, then that needs to be taken on board by whatever professionals are working with him because, as you say, he may find typical ASD approaches are not appropriate.

 

Have you ever spoken with someone at the Elizabeth Newson centre at Sutherland House School, Nottingham. It was Elizabeth Newson that provided evidence of this different branch of autism. I wonder if they might have any advice or information for you on how to move forward with your sons difficulties.

 

I think that anxiety, PDA and depression, can all produce a similar response, but obviously need different approaches. For a time I thought my son might have PDA - but decided he probably didn't because he does not try to manipulate people. His demand avoidance if now more clearly explained via an anxiety/OCD fear response. But that only became clearer over the last 18 months.

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Hi all

 

Aw went into hospital today. He had to be sectioned but he didn't fight. At one point he went up to his room saying he was getting something, and I was worried he might barricade the door as he did when the intensive therapy person visited the other day! However he reluctantly went along with it all, had a few tears, but was really very brave. The professionals involved did a brilliant job.

 

The hospital is nice. We can go to see him on Saturday, so not long to wait.

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Glad to hear that things went as well as could be expected. This will be really hard for everyone concerned but will be thinking of Aw especially over the next few days. Hope this can act as a reality check for him and that he can start to move forwards from here. I think it will take time for him to become adjusted to a new environment and routines so I would say do not expect overnight miricales. There will I suspect be some difficult days ahead but remain strong,

 

best wishes and thoughts.

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Hi Mandapanda, yes you do have to expect some difficult days ahead and even on Saturday when you visit be prepared that your son could ask to come home! You have to be strong as I had to do with my son and you will be fine. Thinking of you and have sent you a P.M. Take care all will good :-)

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How are you all doing?

 

I bet there is a huge void now he is not there because dealing with him every day would have taken up alot of your time and energy.

 

Have you visited him yet?

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I went with him in the ambulance and my husband and eldest son followed in the car, so we were with him for quite a while and looked round the hospital. We can go on Saturday and then on Weds. When he's settled and they're confident he'll go back no problem, he'll be able to come home at weekends.

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