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A-S warrior

longest topic record attempt

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ok am i bored? just an attention seeker? or just raving mad? either way for some reason i want to set a record for the longest topic on the aspergers and asd uk online forum. its just going to be a completely random, anything goes, no holds barred convosation. anything on your mind you want to say, then this is the place, absolutley nothing is off limits and there will be no judgement.

 

im going to start,

 

hi im a-s warrior, im 21 and i cant belive ricky gervais has a career in comedy, hes not even so unfunny hes funny like harry hill, ricky gervais is just tragic, i cant belive im unemployed and that yutz is out there making millions by being an un funny irritating moron.

 

also the acting in coronation street is awwwwwwwful, and that tracy bird is always pulling stupid faces and crying like a 3 year old girl,

 

 

anyway did anyone catch the masters golf last week? wasnt that last hour awsome? i think so!

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Im Adams Mum. Im mum to 7 children 6 boys one girl. 2 of my boys have Autism and i think a 3rd has too. I seem to have lost my identity this is why im called Adams mum.

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Hi as everyone knows I'm darkshine and I saw the last day of the masters - bubba's shot out of the trees was just brilliant - I loved when the commentator was like "he's just going to take that shot!!" totally brilliant :D

 

I stopped watching corrie 3 years ago - and even then I only watched it cuz someone else did at tea time - it peed me off when it got to hollyoaks emmerdale corrie eastenders corrie (or something like that) :wallbash: Ban 'em all off the tv.

 

I like the ricky gervais show - but only cuz karl is funny and they are all done as cartoons ;)

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Im Adams Mum. Im mum to 7 children 6 boys one girl. 2 of my boys have Autism and i think a 3rd has too. I seem to have lost my identity this is why im called Adams mum.

 

adams a cool name good choice

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Hi as everyone knows I'm darkshine and I saw the last day of the masters - bubba's shot out of the trees was just brilliant - I loved when the commentator was like "he's just going to take that shot!!" totally brilliant :D

 

I stopped watching corrie 3 years ago - and even then I only watched it cuz someone else did at tea time - it peed me off when it got to hollyoaks emmerdale corrie eastenders corrie (or something like that) :wallbash: Ban 'em all off the tv.

 

I like the ricky gervais show - but only cuz karl is funny and they are all done as cartoons ;)

 

 

 

i couldnt belive bubba almost cleared the whole of the 10th fareway i was like whaaaa? i thought mickleson had it for a minute, but came up a bit short, i wish i could play amen corner, its so beautiful, espeshilly the 13th tee, so wonderfully beatiful yet so intimidating at the same time.

 

eastenders is just about watchable but the rest are so bad, really bad.

 

anybody tryed thai green curry? am i missing out on anything?

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It looks gross... thai green curry that is...

 

I remember once with eastenders they were doing a bot on stacey having bipolar and they did this camera effect when she went out onto the square and I remember thinking - that's what the world is like for me when I'm stressed and outside...

 

Amen corner is nice - I can't play golf at all as I'm too impatient - I though Mickleson was going to win too, then when he got that double bogey I changed my mind and though oosthuizen would have it for sure - then bubba went and did what he did and I couldn't believe it - I'm not a fan of him but credit where its due he made the shots and won so fair enough.

 

Did you see oosthuizen's albatross? Man that was sweet - makes me wish I could play :lol:

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that was at the 2nd i belive, i have the whole weekend recorded, i also have the 2010 masters recorded when mickleson won. i was going to put a bet on kj choi to win, glad i diddnt, he diddnt even make the cut! but thats augusta for you, you never know what going to happen.

 

 

doesnt that go compaire guy just make you wana hold his head underwater till the bubbles stop, why do pepole keep going on the site? and then complain about how annoying he is, ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

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I also immensely dislike the go compare guy - but the ads did their job didn't they? Cuz its the only ad that can be heard and recognised straight away and from several rooms away.... Makes me want to throw the tv out of the window :devil:

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adams a cool name good choice

Thanks :) The name just poed in to my head when he was born :)

I dont watch TV much as most is rubbish id rather read. I realy dont like adds and yes Go compaire add is bad lol. Most the soaps seem to just copy each other too :( I like reading History books. Or True Ghost story books. Im reading one now about hounted locations in forest of Dean :)

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got 3 quarters of the way through charlie and the great glass elevator and got bored of it. one tenth of the way through a harry potter book and used it as a doorstop. books just dont intrest me, i just get bored.

 

to escape from the world i simply put my headphones in, listen to a good beat, get my immagionation reved up, and be whoever i want to be.

 

at the moment i like to be captain of thunderbird 3 or a 5 time green jacket holder.

 

im sometimes the fastest seam bowler on the england cricket team, or a mr olympia winner.

 

it depends where the mood takes me.

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nutrtionist, teenage and young persons mentor, own a texas style steakhouse, be a husband, a father, and a fittness model. while giving money to the hungry and flying to africa to supply clean water.

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I'm actually impressed at how quick you answered that - and then doubly impressed at the detail - and if I'm honest I'm impressed again at how they are all realistic and achievable life goals :thumbs:

 

(I of course asked a question that I myself cannot answer) :lol:B)

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why do dog biscuits come in differnt flavors? as if a dog is going to say hmmmm i want chicken and rabbit today, owner, could you not get duck and phesant today i want chicken and rabbit. and since when did dogs care about what there food tastes like? i gave my dog a ghost pepper a while back, and it was too much for his stomach so he threw up, then ate what he just thrown up and threw up again, and ate that again. i really dont think dogs are concerned about tasty dog biscuits. espeshily since those biscuits are 90% ash and the rest is tar.

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My dog totally cares what his food tastes like, I rotate his food flavours round when he starts being disinterested in a flavour (every 3 to 10 days).

 

Funny thing my dog... When I do real burgers on a bbq or whatever, I always cook them a certain way (otherwise known as almost cremated) my dog quite likes half a burger - I don't cremate everyone else's - so one day last year me and me housemates did a bbq, they invited a couple of people, it was ok, the dog was wandering around hopefully and someone gave up half of their burger for him, I told them not to bother cuz I knew the dog wouldn't eat it, basically I was right, my mate was so peed off that he gave up half of his burger. Of course I thought it would be funny to put down part of my burger and the stupid dog ate it straight away - making my mate more peed off.

 

This has happened with pork chops, chicken, and steak - if it aint cooked right (right being cooked by me or to my standards) then the dog won't eat it. :lol:

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Since the following isn't worth a new thread, I'll use this thread to have a quick rant about modern football cliches. It might also help the uninitiated to understand the current state of the football commentating and punditry art.

 

"It's a stonewall penalty"

This is what used to be known as a "clear", "definite" or "certain" penalty. Why pundits now name it after an organisation promoting the rights of gays, lesbians and transexuals is a mystery to me.

 

Another stock phrase when reviewing a penalty decision is "there was definite contact." Everyone seems to have forgotten that football is a contact sport so this comment is stupid and spurious.

 

"...and United double their lead"

This means that United (or whoever) have scored a second goal, taking the score from 1-0 to 2-0. Most commentators these days like to walk us through the mathematics of how the score has changed, flaunting their numerical prowess by calculating in their heads, almost without hesitation, that 2 x 1 = 2. It's only a matter of time and evolution before one of them realises that if the score is 2-1, 3-2, etc., a further goal scored by the leaders also represents a doubling of their lead. When commentators realise this, they will have yet more opportunities for their Vorderman-like showboating.

 

Some commentators have developed the phrase and now say, "...United double their advantage," presumably because saying "advantage" instead of "lead" suggests a larger vocabulary. After all, "advantage" has nine letters. That would earn you a bonus on Countdown.

 

"...and United are back on terms"

If you had been beamed down from another planet (and let's face it, many of us feel like we have), this phrase would be meaningless. That's because it is. It's a contraction of "back on level terms," which is a commentator's way of saying the scores are equal.

 

"...the keeper could only parry the shot"

The word "parry" was unknown outside of the sport of fencing until the momentous day when some commentator, somewhere, used it to refer to a particular type of save or block when the goalkeeper cannot control the subsequent path of the ball. Other commentators, presumably impressed by any addition to their linguistic firepower, quickly adopted "parry" and it is now a standard for all football commentators. It has not gained any usage outside of fencing and football because the rest of us appreciate what a stupid word it is.

 

"Parry" in this context is not connected with football commentator Alan Parry, though he is probably a user of the word too.

 

I'm sure there are many more commentating cliches that deserve lambasting but these are the ones that come to mind right now. Feel free to add your own but please spare me any reference to "game of two halves" or "it's a funny old game" because they've been done to death. How about Alan Hansen talking about "grit and determination" almost every time he opens his mouth, or perhaps the pundits' new philosophy that "the sign of true champions is when they grind out a win even when they're not playing well." If I hear that once more, so help me God I'll kick the TV over.

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could not agree more, and i have a sneeking suspicion that football is as scripted as wwe raw, its all about money now. i dont watch it because players go down for even the slightest atom of contact and get awarded free kicks. its pathetic and not a sport. the commentorys bad the players are all in the closet and somehow they miss a goal thats 7 foot high and 18 yards wide. again pathetic.

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@ Adam - brilliance - sheer brilliance :thumbs: I really love the tone of your writing, you find an amazing balance between being so factual and so funny that makes things like this so excellent to read, please add more if you think of some :)

 

@ ASWarrior - I've sometimes wondered about my dog, he's so weird!!! I think he's just copied me too much to be honest :lol:

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my thoughts go out to my nan tonight as she is in hospital very ill, and has been for a very long time, and doesnt look like making it much longer. my mother and auntie are by her bedside as we speek and are very worryed. all i can do now is wish my nan peace and hope she at least makes it to my cousions wedding saturday. but if not, then i wish her to leave this world peacefully and happy.

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Sorry to hear about your nan. I'm sure it's no consolation but if she had suffered for some time, at least you know she is at peace now.

 

It's been almost 24 hours since your last post and I'm sure you didn't intend for it to halt your record attempt. So, without intending any disrespect to your current feelings, perhaps I can get others moving again by telling my favourite joke.

 

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Here's a haiku and a joke, all in one:

 

We went to the zoo.

All that was there was a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu.

 

Brilliantly simple and funny :lol: better than the boomerang one ;)

 

hahaha that was quite a good one :lol: , i wonder where darkshine has been the last couple of days....

 

Hey, sorry about your nan... I've been ill... and then tired (I'm tired now!! I've only been up for just over an hour - that's what I get for only getting 5 and a half hours sleep) :blink:

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im back too, what a mad 72 hours! anyway, whats with this world going to end thing this year? as if i havent heard this one 47 times in my life, if you think the world is going to end this year, im sorry but youre all going to be very disapionted.

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well i supose, but i tend not to belive whatever the media come up with, nothing but lies and general garbage.

 

anyway peeps, whats the story behind your profile pictures? i espeshilly want to hear about lancslads pic, but he tends to shy away from the off topic.

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