Sleepovers

[justine1]

Hi all

 

Just wanted some views/opinions on sleepovers really,like when did your child first go to a sleep over and how long had you known the parents etc.

 

 

Sam has a good friend,who also has ASD,he has been to play a few times and I know the mum and nanny relatively well. Sam will be 9 yrs old in august I am not sure if its too young.

 

My eldest son Josh,11 yrs old, only went for his first sleepover in about January but he is quite mature and had a mobile phone with him.

 

Sam did go on a school trip 2 mths ago where he slept there for two nights so I know he could cope.... just unsure really.

[Tally]

I used to go and stay with the lady across the road one night a week from under the age of 1 year. That was a bit different though because I wasn't staying with another child.

 

I used to sleep over with a school friend from aged 5. When I was 12 I flew as an unaccompanied minor to Belgium and stayed with my grandparents for a week - I didn't know them well and often didn't see them from one year to the next because of the distance.

 

My cousin was 6 when she first stayed at mine for 2 nights. But she and her older sisters frequently stay over at their grandma's house and with their nextdoor neighbours so she is well used to staying away from home. This was her first time without her sisters though.

 

I don't think 9 is too young at all. Sam's stayed away before, you know the mum well and she is familiar with ASD and with your son in partticular. I'm sure the mum would phone you if there was a problem, though it sounds like he'll be just fine

 

I used to have sleepovers with my friends a lot when I was a teenager and it would be great for Sam to be able to enjoy things like this.

[JeanneA]

Hi can't really help you with this one, as Glen never slept over as in sleeping round someones house, he didnt' have any friends and due to his problems it would never have been possible for him to do so even if he did have a friend. My eldest 2 had sleepovers and slept over their friends houses from the age of 11 I would say.

[darkshine]

I think you are the best judge to be honest, and if he really wants to go, as long as you all know what to do in the event of a problem it should be fine.

 

 

I stayed at my grandparents but I can't really remember much about it, I was about 8 or 9 when I did - it was so my parents could decorate my room

 

I was 11 when I first stayed over with a friend, I couldn't sleep all night but it was ok, I only did it cuz everyone else did, my parents weren't that keen on me bringing people back or me staying over anywhere so I was never that bothered. Always struggled to get to sleep whenever I did stay somewhere else.

 

Despite my parents being against things like this - I think its a good idea if the kid wants to do it cuz it gets them used to doing stuff that other kids do and they see how other families live and how to sleep somewhere different, and there's a certain degree of negotiation goes on - on the part of the kid cuz other people don't do everything the same as their own parents will - there's loads of stuff like that and its positive stuff for new experiences.

 

Obviously talk things other so Sam knows what to expect a bit and the general things parents say to their kids like making sure they ring if there's a problem rather than just leaving.

 

Best

 

Darkshine

[A-S warrior]

peronally i hated sleepovers, it felt awkward and strange to me. i rember my mate had this really snobby mum, and she woke us all up on a sunday morning at about 7 and she was shouting breakfast is ready! and i was like whaaaa? and im slow to wake up and his dad comes in and goes come on! get to the table, you dont just show up when you feel like it! and again i was in a state of confusion, i get to the table and the dad says this is unsatisfactory! being 10 mins late is disgraceful. and there was another sleep over i went to where the mum was a council estate chav and till about 3 or 4 in the morning was yelling shut up!!!! and get to sleep!! everytime we even made a move, and i rember her comming up the stairs with a cricket bat, and bursting into the room shouting if you dont get to sleep im going to smack you all on the ass!!!! im guessing from my few sleep overs i had that all familys are an olive short of a pizza. totally mad the lot of them! and i went to a summer camp with the school, and we were all shoved into dormitorys, about 5 kids to a room, i wont even get started on that one.

[NickyB]

Hi justine

 

My son is 9 and has been for a sleepover with a friend who also has ASD, and is the same age. He's also been to us a couple of times and it's been fine. I would say that's it's not too young, as long as you know the family well enough.

 

We are quite lucky, as we only live a few doors away from this friend, so it wouldn't be a massive problem if they couldn't cope. He has been for a sleepover with another friend who's NT, and he was fine there, too.

 

I would suggest going with your instincts, because you won't be able to relax if you're not sure. How about inviting the other child for a sleepover at yours first, so then you can see how they get on?

 

Nicky x

[oxgirl]

If he wants to go then I would absolutely let him. I would have given anything for my lad to have been invited to a sleepover, but he never has had a friend in the world. If your lad has a friend, treasure him, that's my advice.

 

~ Mel ~

[chris54]

If your lad has a friend, treasure him, that's my advice.

 

I could not agree more.

 

My son has never been on a sleepover, but then he hasn't got any proper friends. He did go away when in primary school 3 times, the first time 2 night away, I was a bit worried, so were his teachers, but in then end he was fine. By the time he went away for the 3rd time they left him more to his own devises, so to speak, problem that time, no one told him to put on clean clothes, so he wore the same clothe (Underwear as well) for 5 days. Well it saved on washing when he got home.

 

If you sons friend has ASD hopefully his mother will be understanding of your son. If it were me I would jump at the chance.

[Lynden]

My daughter went for sleepovers with family from when she was a few months old! She went for sleepovers with friends from when she was around 4. L wouldn't go for sleepovers with anyone until he was nearly 7 and now he will go to my elder sisters when we are back home in Scotland He hasn't been for a sleepover at friends because he doesn't have any!

 

Lynne

[mummyoffive]

my 12 year old daughter has never gone to a sleep over..but she has had a sleepover at our house she invited my friends 9 year old daughter for a sleep over when it was her birthday...my friends 9 year old is a lovely girl and the sleep over was a great success and they have done it a few times now...

[justine1]

Thank you so much everyone,such great advice

 

I am quite lucky that Sam has always had friends,despite being autistic.Its even better now that he has three good friends that all have ASD.So I agree it is worth making the most of it, things could easily change when he gets to high school.