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darkshine

What about the good times?

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We've done the struggles, the hell, the bad and the ugly about asd's.

 

I'd quite like to hear about the good times of asd's - it could be a refreshing change!

 

Whether its yourself, your other half or your kid/s that are on the spectrum.

 

What's your best/funniest/moving/brilliant/amazing/wonderful/clever moments, memories or achievements? Or what's your best story?

 

Anyone wanna talk about the good times for a bit?

 

:gather:

 

 

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Hear hear! Yes there are good times. Things that will make me smile everytime I think about it. Just waiting on a transatlantic skype call from my bosses (pay rise woohoo) then I am off to bed but I will definately share a great tale or two tomorrow.

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I've been in my flat 5 years this May. I've also graduated twice and I'm now working on my ether a postgraduate diploma or a masters in autism I just cant decide. Managed to get 2 pieces of work in despite being burned the night before and ending up in casualty until 1am! Passed my driving test over 18 months ago and now im just about to get a new car.

Even better news ive got some more volunteering work and one of the pub groups is 1 year post NAS and were doing great.

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Hi I do struggle a little to think of good times/experiences of ASD. Probably little things like when Glen got himself up out of bed in the mornings and went to the toilet without being asked on his visits home. This has only happened since he has been away in the care home, so they are definitely doing a good with him! Before Glen would need to be told to do everything and I mean everything. Also since being away Glen has become more independent he likes to get his own breakfast now and also likes to make a sandwich for himself for lunch which is really lovely to see. :-)

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My son is 11 and is extremely kind and sensitive.

 

The says alot of funny things - often not deliberately, but due to hearing them incorrectly and not understanding the meaning of words.

 

He said a brilliant one yesterday, and we really struggled to keep a straight fact, because it was so funny.

 

He was talking about a certain person and was trying to say that they had "bad moods", but what he actually said was that they had "bad moobs" [as in man boobs]. We were having our tea at the time, and I nearly choked.

 

My son is also a brilliant designer. He says he wants to be a scientist and/or designer when he grows up. So that is his dream.

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And I would also add, that despite the really difficult years he has had in school, he is still out there every day and has not given up. He must be a very strong person [although he thinks he's weak] - and thankfully we have a good/trusting relationship.

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My eldest son has an IT company ........and my youngest is heading that way.........other son finishes mechanical engineering apprenticeship in a few months .......

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I have lots of good times to go back to and I can think of a few which are related to my black and white self belief in that I am doing the right thing. In these times my autistic traits often come together.

 

In the 1980's I had a bike and triathlon shop with my brother and we decided to set up a race team. To do this we put an advertisment in a well know mountain bike magazine and basically put together a mixed sex and mixed age team of six individuals who we thought we would have a lot of fun racing with. We then went about designing the bikes in a pretty unique way and working with a young lad who was involved with a company which is now 'Hope', we designed and built the first ever disk brakes on mountain bikes in Europe. Given a my design background I designed all the race clothing which was pretty unique looking and along with a top frame builder in Dave Lloydd some pretty amazing paint jobs on the bikes.

 

I can remember turning up at the first race after being up all night building up the bikes at the last minute and getting changed out of the boot of the car and seeing all the professional teams there that day who came over and laughed at the bikes and said we would be a joke and were wasting our time. I remeber for a few seconds having self doubts, were these the right riders, would the frames and forks hold out as they were very lightweight, would the brakes pack in after a short time. I can remeber thinking after all the hundreds of hours of effort 'just let us not be embarassed'.

 

What happened was that we flew that day winning the ladies and elite race and coming second in the junior, we had arrived with a bang. When the next national magazine came out we had numerous photographs of the riders in it as the kit was really stand out. Half way through the season we raced at the world cup in Fort William and the race went out on ITV1 at 3:00 on a Sunday afternoon and contained a segment on the team bikes and their design. By the end of the year we had top ten placings in the national championships.

 

Sometimes we all have dreams and ideas of what we would like to do and the vast majority of us simply have self doubt and are easily put off by any number of things. I think at times through autism we are simply pig headed and once we get an idea into our heads we will not let it drop. I can look back on our mountain bike race team project and think of times when it would have been easy to give up when people laughed at us, when prototypes broke, when parts didn't arrive and so I had to ring round and go on hundred mile journeys to get everything together for that one big day the first race of the season.

 

For me it was a very special day. I saw the first few races in which the team did very well and the riders came back in and said the bike was a dream to ride. I then went out for my own expert race and the bike was really good though I hadn't been to bed for three days and was no where near at my best. I then sat back exhausted covered in dirt and watched the main race and a team mate bring home the win, the only downside was that in all the rush of the early hours we hadn't brought a case of beer.

 

I think the good times are often a period of your life when you put a lot into it and make a big commitment. They are times when I feel you bring something unique and of yourself to the table, but importantly ones where you can share in the emotions of what is achieved with other like minded people, happy days!

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Hi I do struggle a little to think of good times/experiences of ASD. Probably little things like when Glen got himself up out of bed in the mornings and went to the toilet without being asked on his visits home. This has only happened since he has been away in the care home, so they are definitely doing a good with him! Before Glen would need to be told to do everything and I mean everything. Also since being away Glen has become more independent he likes to get his own breakfast now and also likes to make a sandwich for himself for lunch which is really lovely to see. :-)

 

Of topic a bit. I work at the sort of place that your Glen would be at. Its funny, We often see some residents independents decrees after a home visit. Maybe we, The staff, have an expectation that the resident will do, and parents are to ready to do for them. Some parent find it very hard to let go, to recognise that there children are adult, who have all the rights of an adult, (And the responsibilities). I know as a parent myself, I have to at times make a conscious decision to stand back and let my son get on with it.

 

 

On the same theme, and back on topic, It the little things that make a difference, like helping himself to milk out the fridge and not spilling any. As silly as that sounds to most, that is a big step for us.

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i feel i have had tons of good times with my daughter....but the one that made me cry was her leavers assembly at primary school alot of the children got awards for different things...the biggest award was the one that all the teachers in the school voted for and it was for the child who had achieved so much from nursery to year 6 when the head teacher said every teacher in the whole school put the same name forward....and they called out my daughters name i thought my heart was going to burst in my chest ....we had no idea she had won this award to say we were proud is an understatement....i didnt care who saw my tears that day at school..... and after my daughter said to me "are they happy tears mum"...."yes darling they are proud happy tears"......................

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Oh gosh, good times! L is challenging sometimes but hugely inspiring. He never ceases to surprise us with how much he is developing. The little boy we live with today is a far cry from the 'isolated little boy' they described age 2. He is funny, he has a proper little boys sense of homour (burps, bottoms and farts are hilarious). He is loving and affectionate. I think when you have a child with significant difficulties the smallest things stick in your mind as big things - like the other week when his Daddy came home from work he asked unprompted if his Daddy had had a good day :) The biggie for me has to be the first time he said Mummy - 6.5 years was a long time to wait. I have little video clips that I watch from time to time, from when he used to sign with his sister, then his first words, then a year later the conversations he was having, then lately him reading books. He's amazing :)

Edited by Lynden

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I just want to say thank you to everyone who has shared their stories so far, I know I've enjoyed reading them so I'm sure that other's will as well!

 

I hope you all think of more to add here and I hope more people come in on this and add to it too :)

 

I'll add something of my own sometime soon

 

Best Wishes

 

Darkshine

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It may seem like it's all doom and gloom but the good times I have no problems with - it's the bad times that I want to discuss with others to see if they have similar difficulties and how they cope with them.

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Indiscreet personally I think Darkshine is right in putting up a post which looks to keep a perspective on the forum regarding the ups and downs of life in general.

 

If we are not carefull we are in danger of painting a distorted picture of what it is like to have or live with someone on the autistic spectrum. There are lot of people who might turn to the forum from a neutral perspective looking to find out more. Whilst it would be unfair to censor anything negative in fear of what others might think about autism, it is surely wrong to censor anything positive in the same way.

 

just a few thoughts.

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Id go along with that. We should all celebrate the good times, not matter how small a fleeting they may be.

Just posted something positive in education.

Edited by chris54

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Everyday is good with Sam. Yes its a challenge everyday,he can be ina rage one minute but so sweet the next and he is so very unique and funny we all love him so much. He is a very good older brother to his younger siblings especially with his new sister. Tonight he ran upstairs to get a muslin to wipe her after she was sick and he constantly fusses over her,she is very lucky indeed.

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" Whilst it would be unfair to censor anything negative in fear of what others might think about autism, it is surely wrong to censor anything positive in the same way."

 

I certainly wasn't suggesting any censorship. I was just suggesting that the probable reason why there is more discussion about the negative sides to autism is because it's those that cause people to come on the forum to share their worries and,hopefully, learn something from others here with similar difficulties.

 

 

 

.

 

That

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It may seem like it's all doom and gloom but the good times I have no problems with - it's the bad times that I want to discuss with others to see if they have similar difficulties and how they cope with them.

Hey :D

 

As always its nice to hear from you - you make a good point - when I created this post I'd just had enough at that point, I really had. My entire adult life has been filled with shite. It's been never-ending. And normally I would have come on here and I would have listed everything bad and wrong, everything that is filling my head with stuff from my life - but this time I didn't.

 

Something inside made me think "why not try something different? If I feel like this does anyone else sometimes? And then I thought about how we all must sound at times... For the members on here with children - what do they think when people like me go on and on about how bad everything is - does it make them feel like there's no hope? Do other parents who come here think oh my god, is this what I have to deal with?"

 

It all seemed so heavy at that point you know? I am not a positive person - I find it very difficult to be positive - but this time I thought I'd try... It was like a moment of clarity, I was thinking the above, I was looking through this years posts, and it suddenly hit me "what about the good times?"

 

Don't get me wrong - problems are fine - of course we seek help, advice, people with similar problems etc. I'm not trying to complain or judge anybody or even myself - I just wanted to create a pinpoint of something different.

 

And also it was really important for me to hear that there are good times - that autism doesn't just mean everything is bad - I kinda wanted people to come here and say yeah - there's good times - there's good stuff that happens.

 

I wanted anyone else out there how thinks something similar one day, sitting thinking "What about the good times?" or "Are there any good times?" I wanted them to see that there are too!

 

And also everyone else who sometimes finds that its nice to have a break away from our usual stuff!

 

And its also a challenge from me - a challenge asking - can you think of any? Tell me about them then! Cuz sometimes I really need to hear that there are good times and good things to do with ASD's and life - and if I do - maybe others do too.

 

I hope this makes sense as I can't explain it any better :lol:

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I like to try to put all my good times in a vault so that I can use them later when times are more difficult. Some people have good times then they are thrown away from their memory . Sometimes those people say you have to move on and forward but likewise you also have to use the past to gee you up some times .

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Singing children's songs with my kids, my son singing almost word and note perfect and all excited in the back of the car, driving through the beautiful highlands in the brilliant sunshine yesterday, my daughter copying and beaming at her big bro.

 

My son enjoying 'belly bumps' just like I did as a kid (when you go over bumps in the road and your stomach is left in the air for a second...), totally cracking up with laughter.

 

My lovely daughter dancing right now to the theme music of 'Day of the Diesels'....

 

My son standing at the top of the stairs with a washcloth on his head pretending it's a hat this morning.

 

My son's amazing ability to write in all sorts of styles and fonts and his ability to see patterns in everything.

 

My son learning in the last few weeks to go to the toilet on his own....result!!!

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That's a really upbeat list of things Lynda - thank you for sharing them, I think there's a lot to be said for the little things, cuz a lot of them can really add up into big things that are good, I think finding pleasure in those kinds of moments is so important and when things aren't so good it gives you something to remember and hold onto - I think that can work for a lot of people, if we can only keep them in our mind when things feel harder :)

 

I like to try to put all my good times in a vault so that I can use them later when times are more difficult. Some people have good times then they are thrown away from their memory . Sometimes those people say you have to move on and forward but likewise you also have to use the past to gee you up some times .

 

I feel like a lot of good times are harder to keep in my mind, it's been something I've worked on for years now and am making some sort of headway - kinda like your idea of a good times vault so that it's there for when things are difficult.

 

And I agree that we need to move on and forward, but that the past can have its uses if used in the right way

 

Best

 

Darkshine

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