He couldn't do it!

[Dijac]

Hi,,

 

Will was due to leave for a school trip to London - was a shame they were leaving so late - 11.15 tonight - he was ok up till 9pm - then started have panic attcks -He couldn't get on the bus. Now we know his limitations I guess.

 

I feel so sad for him tonight.

 

Diane

[A-S warrior]

can you talk him round? you,ve left it late but theres still time???

[justine1]

Thats a shame. It is so hard because it would be unfair to push him to the point that he feels ill, at the same time he is missing out on his trip that he possibly would have enjoyed.

[Dijac]

I tried to convince him - I know he'll regret it tomorrow - but he was startign to feel ill. He came with me to see the teacher - I thought he would join in the excitement of the others - but he just felt worse.

 

On the other hand, as he has jumped a year, he is only 12 while the rest are 13-14, so maybe he was just too young for such a big trip. We live and learn...

[Kathryn]

Sorry to hear that. Going off on a trip is a big undertaking for most children his age - no shame to him that he couldn't manage it this time. Maybe one day he will.

 

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K x

[LancsLad]

Diane life is a learning experience for us all.

 

My thought would be you know what Will's limitations around the scenraio as it unfolded this time, not saying you made mistakes but we can always improve how we go about things in hindsight. When things have settled down after a couple of days talk through things and write down some action points for next time around. I think it is important that when we have setbacks we do not fall into black and white thinking modes. It is so easy to write beliefs into our mind such as 'I will never be able to go on a school trip' which can stick and develop into other deeper beliefs. Once you have drawn some conclusions and developed some ideas the thing to do is put them into practice and come up with a new challenge.

 

It is important that we develop coping strategies. It is obvious that when Will was having panic attacks his coping strategies had broken down, that is not a very pleasant experience for anyone to go through let alone a child. The task now is to build stronger coping strategies and test them is slightly less demanding circumstances.

 

In my own life I would not say it is dominated by my Asperger's but rather by my confidence and self-esteem. When these are high I can take on challenges in life, it is important Will gets his confidence back.

 

best wishes to you all.

[Tally]

That's a real shame. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

[darkshine]

I tried to convince him - I know he'll regret it tomorrow - but he was startign to feel ill. He came with me to see the teacher - I thought he would join in the excitement of the others - but he just felt worse.

 

On the other hand, as he has jumped a year, he is only 12 while the rest are 13-14, so maybe he was just too young for such a big trip. We live and learn...

 

As someone who missed out a lot on trips and events I know how much it totally sucks.. and what "should" seem simple or do-able can become very much the opposite as the time draws closer - especially at the last minute!! Not to mention the after effects bring about negative feelings...

 

I agree with LancsLad's points about coping strategies - and I think your "we live and learn" attitude is good too - there will be other trips that aren' so taxing on him I'm sure... and finding out better ways for him to cope with the idea of that would be good as I think the fact he wants to do these things at all is so positive.

 

Best

 

Darkshine