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Asperger's SING!drome

Asperger's Socialisation Question.

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Hello all,

 

I am writing a proposal for a community music project i am spearheading and i have a question that i would love to have some feedback on. I would be so very grateful.

 

I know this question sounds like i am looking for a blanket answer, but i am just looking for personal perspectives on the matter. :balloon:

 

Please place a musician on the spectrum at an open mic night at a local pub.

 

Given that people on the spectrum generally find social situations more alien and awkward than neurotypicals, would a musician on the spectrum feel more comfortable playing his/her original song to a pub full of strangers, or a pub full of family, friends, peer group and teachers?

 

Thank you for your time in answering this question.

 

Matthew

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Without doubt in my mind a room full of strangers. My reason being that the expectations of me would be to provide a level of entertainment as a musician. For me the contract starts and ends there. If it was in a room of people I knew then I know there would be a level of anxiety present about having to engage into a social contract possibly before the performance but almost certainly after it. I could cope with knowing the performance went down like a lead balloon if that was the case, all the false talk about how 'wonderfull you were' would be far harder to take. In contrast if the room of strangers responded well it would be because I had produced a good performance. If I produce that performance in front of family and friends would I be able to say the same level of honesty was present or would I feel 'they said those things to make me feel better'.

 

For me this is a simple question to answer, others might feel differently and am interested as to how they see it.

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If there are enough people in that room, your assumed musician won't realize that there are individual people at all and be unable to differentiate between strangers and friends during the performance.

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Singing a song is totally different to making conversation. I wouldn't describe singing a song as a social situation at all.

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(Apologies in advance if this post is confusing feel free to ask additional questions on this thread here.)

 

I have sung in pubs in the past but not 'open mic nights'. What conditions i would require to be at my best would depend on a number of factors before, during and after the event.

 

Working on thje presumption that i am singing 1 song and introduce that song but only say 'thank you' at the end (without any form of pressure to talk to anyone).

 

The number of changes, people i see and how i deal with that or other aspects of my autism before the evening would also affect how i coped with the event. Anyone i have fallen out with either currently or historically (if unresolved or they appear to be 'holding a grudge') would put me off my singing.

 

Strangers there to see an autism talent night (and who took it as seriously as i did) for example would ease my discomfort more than ones who said 'i cant sing' (or other types of lies). Anyone who judged me based on how i looked (competition or non competition) wouldnt be in my audience.

 

If i can remember the words then an open mic night may suit me more than a kareoke (sp?). If i can read at speed well but cant remember the words then im in the same situation because i can read at speed upside down better than the right way up due to my dyslexia.

 

The long and the short of the situation and any situation is 'depends on my needs at the time'. Somedays my sensory needs will be more predictable than others. Until i have been to an open mic night (part of the reason why i havent been is because i dont know what to expect) then i am unable to give a more specific answer.

 

i attended a concert recently in a different location to someone im avoiding. If i had bumped into the person i was avoiding (and the organisers knew we had to be kept seperate without a doubt before i booked my tickets) then i would have written a letter of complaint. Problem is what if the other person tried to bump into me despite my wishes and the organiser thought 'it would be ok?' because of some unanticapated event once i arrived?

 

One of the consequeces of attending an open mic night is that people will have their opinions on your singing. They may try and speak to you afterwards or 'affectionatly' tease you about it afterwards. Open mic events create potential social situations some good others bad. i may be totally unable to deal with social communication after the song. i think i go into a virtual shutdown/meltdown afterwards depending on a number of things. if i knew when my metldowns/shutdowns would occur beforehand then i would make sure i was with people i knew could deal with them.

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ive sung with choir as a solo to one song. meaning the choir sang chorus and i sang of all of it. the only way i wasnt comfortable was if someone said 'so your are singing the solo', that knocked my confidence and made me forget my lines.

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I would not call myself a musician, but I can play a fair amount of music on my keyboard, I also occasionally create pieces of music, just short compositions and stuff - I would never play to a room full of anybody whether they were the most distant stranger or the closest friend or family member.

 

I can only speak for myself - I cannot speak for an unknown musician on the spectrum :)

Edited by darkshine

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I would never play to a room full of anybody whether they were the most distant stranger or the closest friend or family member.

 

:)

This was exactly my problem. I could never play to an audience as I would become a nervous wreck and lose all confidence. But surely this isn't just an AS thing (or is it worse with AS)?

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Haven't a clue - there's plenty of people who say they wouldn't perform to an audience - so maybe it's just a thing that some people experience...

 

Speaking for myself - I would lose coordination, confidence and ability - I know this because I have tried to play to one or two people in the past (when sharing musical tips and compositions) it takes me a long time to get over the awkwardness and relax enough to play to my ability, I have to be in a very specific place psychologically and that place is not one I enter easily.

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