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dinky73

Help! Major anxiety at night

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Hi all

 

I'm in need of some advice regarding my 9 year old dd with AS. We visited a place called Hazard Alley in April, this is a place where they recreate things like road crossings, petrol stations, houses etc and talk about everyday dangers, how to cross to road, how to be safe around railways etc. We went with out local Dyspraxia support group and there were children as young a 7 there. She had a good time and seemed fine with it all, that was until we got to bedtime! We basically had 3 nights of hell, she was hysterical, sobbing, even vomited once - all due to her being "scared of hazard alley". I think she was scared by the talk of fire and of other bits and bobs too. It didn't help that we were staying with her Aunt at the time and she wasn't in her own bed. I thought it would improve when we got home but it didn't really.

 

We have spoken at length about all her fears, I've tried to be understanding and have reassured her so many times but at bedtime she is still in tears over it all. Last night she was still awake at 10pm and called me in about 5 times over the next hour. She was in tears, said she couldn't sleep because she just thinks about hazard alley, she refused to turn the light off, got out of bed and begged me to stay with her. In the end she read her book for about 40 mins and then fell asleep with the night light on. She was very tired this morning and I am dreading the same happening night after night.

 

How can I help her get over this? She gets things in her head and in her words "just wants to forget it ever happend. I want to erase it from my brain". She seems so irrational about it all, I can't reassure her or comfort her.

 

I really want to help her, its starting to affect her sleep and night time routine. I can see her mood drop and her anxiety rise as bedtime gets closer. She has always been a great sleeper, always been in her own room and has never ever been in our bed once. It seems like she is scared of everything now, being alone, being in the dark, scared or fire, scared of dangers in the home.

 

It was meant to be informative but it has just made her super scared of all potential dangers in life. This is life though and if this is how she reacts to a few little dangers then I dread to think how she'll cope with REAL LIFE. I really feel for her and want to help but don't know where to start.

 

Thanks

dinks

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hmmm, perhaps neutralise her mind with something she takes enjoyment or comfort out of, i.e a favorate dvd or a program on tv. at night its important to distract her mind from scary or uncomftable thoughts and replace them with comforting thoughts. and perhaps have a tv in her room (or a radio) and let her fall asleep by it. when i was her age i was listening to the radio at night. hearing other pepoles voices helped me sleep because i felt safe, and when your in a dark room afraid and cant sleep its the loneliest place in the world, having a tv or a radio in the room to fall asleep to is comforting and you feel like your not alone anymore.

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hmmm, perhaps neutralise her mind with something she takes enjoyment or comfort out of, i.e a favorate dvd or a program on tv. at night its important to distract her mind from scary or uncomftable thoughts and replace them with comforting thoughts. and perhaps have a tv in her room (or a radio) and let her fall asleep by it. when i was her age i was listening to the radio at night. hearing other pepoles voices helped me sleep because i felt safe, and when your in a dark room afraid and cant sleep its the loneliest place in the world, having a tv or a radio in the room to fall asleep to is comforting and you feel like your not alone anymore.

 

Thanks. Yes maybe the radio might help. I'm not keen on TV's in kids rooms but the radio might work, or her ipod on a speaker. She can listen to audio books then if she likes. It's so hard as she has been such a good contented sleeper until now. We have nights when she seems much better and she settles quickly and then hellish nights after that. She just can't stop feeling afraid. I might buy a relaxation thing to put on her ipod, that might help. thanks for the suggestions.

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Night time is when everyone stops and people go to sleep which allows unwanted thoughts to enter a person's head and wreak havoc - I have had this problem for many years.

 

Hazard Alley may be the thing that lit the touch paper on these thoughts - and that is a shame - but the fact of the matter is that these fears your daughter has are very real - we all have them at some point and we need to know how to deal with them and how to reduce the likelihood of them happening (with measures within our control).

 

It is important to let her know that her fears are real but that she mustn't let them control her or she misses the lesson she was supposed to be learning and that is how to avoid or reduce the chances of such things happening - making sure electrics are safe and sockets are not overloaded, having locks on external doors to prevent theft, having smoke alarms to warn of fire and CO2 alarms in case of a boiler emissions being harmful and so on - if you take her though these measures you can show how how you can reduce the chances of bad things happening. Also there are fire safety courses that show you what to do in a fire, there are first aid courses and so on and maybe this could be an option if the difficulty continues even if its purely to knock items of concern off her "list".

 

You could also talk through possible events that worry her and tell her how you and she could deal with those events - this could offer her elements of control and give her an idea of coping mechanisms should something happen.

 

Dunno if this helps but I hope so :)

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Thanks for all the advice. We actually have that worry book so she took it to bed and had a better night. She slept with her nightlight on (we usually turn it off when we go bed).

 

We had tried to reassure her and talk about the fears but I think they just become too big in her mind. We've explained about smoke alarms etc but it just seems to "remind" her of her fears. Hopefully she will improve but we will work on ways to alleviate her anxieties in the meantime. She has a nightlight, a worry stone and books aimed at not letting your worries take over.

 

We'll soldier on. Thanks for all the good advice

 

Dinks

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