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loubeeloulou

Build up of anger

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Due to our lack of direct communication, son has had a phone since Christmas, this way he can text me instead if holding it in. Recently, when things anger him or he doesn't get his own way or he is fed up, he seems to pick a fight with me. Up to now, I've been the only person who he really knows tries their hardest for him every day, but something's gone askew.... He has a friend who Plays on the game who comes now and then to play on it here, I said no as I had work, to this I got a huge tirade of how I was so up myself how he despised who I was how my charoty work I do is hated and is vile and it just went on and on and on. It reduced me to tears twice now and it's awful. I don't know why it's happening, we had a family meal yesterday at home and I knew he felt uncomfortable but he sat at table, but was head down and quiet, there was 11 of us, just us and grandparents and grandson, no one strange, and he threw abuse about that before saying it was ridiculous and not real life and fake etc etx.

I try to calm him, tonight I told him I wasn't tolerating that and id take the phone off him. But I don't understand why he seems to be channeling his anger at me. It's very sudden.

I do go away for charity work two or three times a year, for maybe 5/10 days a time, but I always have done, so it's not new. He has attacked (verbally) all of his siblings and us his parents, in my head I know he's raging and it is almost like a Tourette's type torrent of abuse it's hurled without thought its just horrible though and I don't think I'm asking anything other than has anyone experienced this and how do I process it so u stop feeling like my son truly hates me.

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It sounds like in his own way he's being a moody teenager - it's doesn't make it any the less hurtful. You should be clear with his that his behaviour is unacceptable and why it is unacceptable.

 

He doesn't hate you, I think unconciously he knows you'll be there for him no matter what so he feels safe venting on you. But he has to know that there are other ways of doing it.

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Yeah I think you're right, the teenager bit is coming into play, it's just vile , I don't think he does hate me I just hate this way he has now. I do if I'm honest find it hard to be super harsh like I would've done with my other kids due to his clinical depression, it's a tough balance I guess. I have pressed Into him that it's not ok and it's hurtful but him and emotions just don't mix

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