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justine1

how did you decide on residential?

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Hi all

Have not been on for a little while. Anyway Sam will be in year 5 in September and will have to start looking at secondary schools,I heard two weeks ago when Sam was at a party,of how one mum (her son is at Sam's ASD unit but in year 5 already) is really struggling to find an appropriate school.Needless to say I am dreading it! Especially as it has only been 14 months since he started where he is and is doing well.

 

He recently hit a "blip" no idea what it was exactly could be anything,but he was not sleeping well for 2 weeks(totally unlike him) he would also begin to throw more tantrams and shout and swear. He had an "I dont care" attitude whenever a sanction was imposed,though I stuck with it. School have helped by introducing another technique meaning he gets rewarded at school (with house points) when he is goos at home,its been used all this week with good results.

 

Sorry to ramble...I am curious as to how/what reasons people decided to go for residential? I am/have considered this alot,Sam is getting tall (although skinny) and worry about future meltdowns. He can go months without any signficant meltdown but when they come its not very nice,as he has three younger siblings it is a worry.

 

At the same time having been working at an LD resi school (with 90% of pupils having ASD,albeit on the opposite end to Sam) I fear what will happen to him. There are children far more aggressive than Sam,also my opinion is the family can play a very positive roll in someone with ASD's overall well being,which he would miss out on. I feel he gets more out of being at home but then worry about what he will be like in the future. Just interested in peoples experience's in particular with children dx'd with aspergers or HFA.

 

Thanks.

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Hi well my son Glen has been in a residential home for just over a year, he receives education there and will do until he's 19 next year. It was a decision we had to make due to his severe aggression. He is doing well now so it is working out, but he was 17 when he went there so a lot older than your son. I guess you have to decide as a family what you think is best for your son and yourselves.

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I'm having a similar dilemma, justine1. My dd 13 is not coping in MS and we have just had a provisional statement. There aren't any special schools that can take her as she's academically at age 15 apart from 1 which is full and may not take her as their remit is medical/physical disabilities. Emotionally though she's functioning around age 7 so mainstream is no longer an option. The closest independent school appropriate for her needs is over a hour away with no traffic and she's not a good traveller. If it was closer I'd be fighting for it but it fills me with dread to think of residential. I also have 2 other children who would prob benefit from the break in meltdowns and demand avoidance. I really don't know what to do.

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Hi,

My son is 12 , he has a diagnosis of aspergers. He is now in his 4th week of a new school where he is residential in the week. Things still feel quite strange at the moment as we are getting used to a change in family life etc but I def feel like we have made the right decision.

I think we need to be realistic, the children who are placed in a residential school will all come with their own issues and difficulties , otherwise they simply wouldn't be there ! They will have all found it impossible or at least very, very difficult to function and make progress in mainstream and yes, typically there will be children that display anger or behavioural difficulties that we feel are different or 'worse' than our own child. However, what I would hope is that this would be far outweighed by the benefits that our children should receive from being in a specialist placement. Just after a few weeks I am beginning to see that my son may be in a place where he feels he belongs. He is not left sitting isolated from his peers for hours or doing something different to everyone else. The school are clear that they will do there very best to support every child so we are no longer facing the constant run of exclusions and negative phone calls home that we have become used to over the past 5 years !!

Of course it is such a difficult decision to make,and we were fortunate in the end that the decision was kind of taken out of our hands in that the school offered him a residential place and we had no other option . Its obviously early days but as I said before I feel like we have done the right thing in making the best choice for our sons future.

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we have a slightly different situation my daughter is 15 and at special school she wants to leave next year and go to a residential college an hour away. we go to see it in November and if she likes it i will start the process but i have to day im absolutely dreading her going.

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Thank you Jollypig for commenting I had completely forgotten that I put this post here! Sam has just started year 5 so I am due to start looking at secondary schools soon,we will be discussing it at his annual review meeting next month....I am very nervous about it all to be honest.

 

Thank you to all who commented it is very helpful indeed.

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Fir me it was a hugely difficult decision to go for residential. But we were all including my daughter at the end o f our tethers, She knew she couldnt go back to mainstream.

When she visited the priory school she first went to, she told me it was the first time she ever felt comfortable and I knew she would be ok.

 

Luckily she was there at a good time, those just behind her wernt so lucky and the school has had a lot of problems. I would say do your homework and be a presence int he school no matter how far you are, my daughter is still residential at a different college and has been in three different residences in her time there (she has been resi for 4.5 yrs now!) I am still 'in their faces' I do feel that sometimes things can slide if we don't keep an eye on what is going on, This year has been quote problematic and she is just looking forward to getting out and starting Uni...

 

I know not everyone has problems, but some do... I would just say make sure you get to know ALL the staff, speak to them as often as you can and make sure problems are addressed as quickly as possible.

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