Bullying

[Special_talent123]

I have a topic, does having 'ASD' make you vulnerable to being so. Also have you been bullied by someone who has ASD and how do you deal with it? I am worried about my friends being bullied, and I am always sticking up for them and reporting it. I have been bullied in my life and found it hard to deal, and it dragged me down in life. I was even called a 'autistic tw*t' and the girl lives across the road and I am frightened. If you see a friend in trouble do you go and help out?

[trekster]

i normally ask if the person needs my help before stepping in and mentioning something to the bully. If the bully is an 'internet troll'

then feeding the troll will make matters worse.

[Cinnamon]

I don't know yet if I have Asperger's or not.

 

I was not bullied in school. I didn't live in the U.K when I was young though, and where I grew up there was little bullying in schools. In fact, other pupils were protective of me because I would cry so much and get easily upset.

 

In my last job my boss was unpleasant and she also made fun of me.

I didn't realize it at the time. I though I was just being stupid, and that was why she kept saying nasty things.

I quit that job.

[Special_talent123]

@trekster usually the use of threatening the police usually shuts them up. but then you report them to facebook the post has got removed

[darkshine]

A lot of my friends in life don't need me to stand up for them cuz they can do it themselves...

 

But if they didn't do anything and I thought they needed my help then yes I would stand up for them - although certain people I would ask first.

[A-S warrior]

ive always enjoyed being bullied (weird arnt it?) beacause the way i see it is, there taking time and effort out of there day to try and get into my head. ive always found it quite flattering. when someone calls me a stupid c**t, i just say, thankyou very much, in a polite tone of voice.

[Special_talent123]

I just dont like to see anyone get ill because of bullying. When my penpal was bullied at college, she wouldnt tell anyone and because of me writing that letter to her college things were sorted out

[Charlray]

Hi, not sure if this is what you are looking for but going to post here my OWN experiences and feelings on this subject.

 

From my first year at Junior School to my last year at Comp/Senior School I was on the receiving end of emotional bulling. If this had been physical I think it would have been easier to deal with but as it was emotional then I found this very hard indeed. The bulling took various forms and at first I did not really understand what was happening was wrong but as I grew older I felt it more. It started off with name calling, which was not too bad and this then progressed onto being left out of things everyone else was included in, being used by people, name calling still but also belittling and making me feel I was a lesser person than they were. I changed school but it was worse where I moved to than where I had come from and I often came home and cried for hours. I think the isolation was almost as bad as the bulling as I so wanted to fit in and join them but it never happened then and to date that is still the case.

 

So in answer to your question at the start "does having ASD make you more vulnerable" for me I would certainly say yes. Why? Because I am "different" to others which makes you a prime target and then when you react or don't react in the way they expect it can make it worse.

 

Being bullied has also happened to me in my job in much the same way and although this was initially dealt with I was put back in the same situation regardless. Being bullied is something that has had a very negative effect on me. I dislike myself a lot, lack confidence in my own ability and often don't do things for this reason. Life is hard enough as it is and add bullying into the mix makes it a lot harder.

 

One more thing before I go, the person who tells you "Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you" has obviously never been bullied emotionally as broken bones will repair. What happened to me has scarred me for life.

 

[SidiousUK]

I was bullied at school and could not wait to leave.

I built my confidence doing the job I enjoyed only for people at work to wipe that out as they thought they new better.

Only satisfaction I have now is being able to say "I told you so" and getting the answer "did you?"

 

This is one reason I hate the human race with a vengence

[SensitiveSoul]

I was bullied at school both emotionally and physically. Both are really, really hard to deal with. The physical pain from physical violence goes after a while, but the mental scars are just as big as with emotional bullying. I lived in fear at school. I was permanently scared of saying or doing the wrong thing, yet I never actually knew what the wrong things to say and do actually were. That's the hardest part. It really messes with your head when you have no idea why you're being physically bullied. When you don't know what you're doing that is leading people to do such horrible, scary things. How can you stop doing it, when you don't know what 'it' is?! There are 3 incidents of physical violence that still live with me and scar me every bit as much as the emotional bullying. At the time I was totally unaware I had AS, but it was quite clear I was different from everyone else. That made me an easy target. I sometimes said stuff that made perfect sense to me, but didn't to others. I sometimes struggled in certain situations and reacted in ways which were perceived oddly - hands over ears, tears etc. Even though I was actually not doing anything wrong, unfortunately my differences did make me susceptible to bullies.

 

I think because I've been bullied it makes me hate seeing others being bullied so much! I know how hard it is and how it feels and it makes my blood boil when I see it. My instinct is always to want to rush in and help out. However you have to weigh up the situation because much as it's human nature to want to help out someone in trouble, I've learned the hard way it's not always the best thing to do. Also I'm not the most capable in situations of conflict. Conflict freaks me out a lot, so often for me, it's better to seek out help from someone who is more capable of being able to help deal with it anyway.

Edited August 6, 2012 by SensitiveSoul