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KKaren

Public enemy number 1

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Do you ever feel like public enemy number 1???

 

Moved house as having problems with son and kids in the street

 

settled into new house not much more than a year and now all the kids in the street fighting excluding my son again and parents calling to complain about him. Does it ever end????

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As people with a form of disability, we're ALL as 'aspies' and autistics considered public enemy no. 1 I'm afraid. It's a societywide pogrom.

Edited by Suze
overtly political

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My eldest son won't play out because the kids down the street are so awful to him. On one occasion a boy threw a big stone at him and left a lump, on another everyone was having a snowball fight when my son excitedly came along and they all turned and pelted him. Yet another time it was clods of mud. We are really fortunate, though, because there is a lovely girl who has AS who lives opposite us and who has a bond with both my sons. Her sister is lovely, too. So whenever they're about it's ok.

 

It is hard, though. What I find with my eldest, too, is that there is absolutely nothing mean or unkind about him, but his behaviour doesn't always appear socially acceptable. It can be really tough struggling with other people's perceptions on top of everything else. It's easier said than done, but it's important to get to the point where you are less troubled by what other people expect of you or your son. There is ultimately little you can do about what other people think, but you can decide to some extent how important it is to you. I'm sure you've heard all this, and I don't think I have the balance particularly well, anyway, but I do find that surrounding myself with people who do have understanding really helps, whether that's online or at ASD support groups.

 

You're not alone.

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Thanks Guys normally these people don't annoy me I'll just have to ignore the lot of them.! Its him I feel sorry for and it doesn't help his confidence. I think I'll buy a house in the middle of a field!!

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Yeah, it is tough that we can do our best as parents, but it can be other kids which make our kids' lives so much more difficult. I think you do have to ignore what people think, ultimately, but like you say, that doesn't alter the difficulties for our kids. Is school going ok?

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Thanks Guys normally these people don't annoy me I'll just have to ignore the lot of them.! Its him I feel sorry for and it doesn't help his confidence. I think I'll buy a house in the middle of a field!!

Karen thats what we did............live in the middle of a field literally !.........really feel for you, hopefully things will die down a little now schools are going back and the nights starting to get darker.What is your son being accused of ??........I had experience of this when my son was at primary, a witch hunt if you like, it was not pleasant.

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School has been a nightmare for him he has been home tutored the last 6 months before the holidays, he is going to a special unit in September which he has obtained a full time place - very small and only about 4 / 5 in a class so I'm hoping this will work out okay for him - the problem with the kids in the street is he says whatever pops into his head and sometimes its very inappropriate - obviously the neighbours think because hes 14 he should be able to control this and is doing it on purpose to upset their children and we don't discipline him enough.. forget the fact their children are calling him inappropriate swear words ! thats just normal... fun times!!!

 

Anyway as you say hopefully everyone going back to school and dark nights will calm the situation down a good bit.. Either that or I'll just have to drink more wine!!!

 

Karenx

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This sounds so familiar to me...sadly. Sam loves being outdoors and loves to try and make friends with people in the area. Last summer was our first summer in this house and I let him play out front,with his older brother,he soon made "friends". Firstly he would constantly come in getting ice lollies or sweets and give them out to everyone. Then one day one boy in particular hit him on the arm with a metal pole (like that from a rotary clothes line) I managed to get the pole and was fuming. I didnt let him out for a week and when he did go out I told him to play with these boys who are brothers. Soon they had taken liquitabs and had some sort of "water bomb fight" with them. I took my boys in and then a few minutes later there was a knock on the door my eldest answered but I was right next to him in the kitchen,the mum of the boy had come over yelling at my eldest about how they ruined her daughters shoes etc,I asked her why she is shouting at him and why could'nt she ask me and she got really bitchy. I then said she needed to watch her kids more as her son had hit my son with a pole. Anyway since then my son fears them alot.

 

He says they are all racist(he is mixed race) and when we go anywhere he has to wait for them to pass by our house before he goes out. There have been negative comments made,under her breathe,by the lady to all of us...including my partner. The irony is my home is one of just three in our street where the/my children have a curfew and bedtime. The lady in question allows her daughter age 6 to roam the streets as late as 10pm. One night a group of them came into my garden peering through my living room,Sam was so upset by it all. We are meant to be moving soon anyway and really hoping not to be here for another summer!!

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I find it hard to understand why adults can't behave more like adults sometimes.... Recently there have been a couple of occasions where children have targeted my middle son at soft play. It doesn't occur to him to move away, retaliate or tell us, he just takes it, and I think other children realise the potential of that quite quickly. On two of these occasions recently I have actually had to walk past the kid's parents to tell the kid to stop bullying my son. I couldn't possibly imagine allowing my children to do that. It's weird.

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Yow

 

Thats what happens innit. I was dragged up on the streets of Brixton yeah so know how to handle myself,

Edited by Suze
inflammatory statements made.

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Unfortunately I felt the need to edit your post.,the council estate reference , and punching reference are the reasons why.,It was probably meant to be humorous, but could offend other forum members.

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You can find closed-mindedness anywhere, unfortunately. We used to live on a sink estate where we were treated relatively well. We now live on a private newly-built estate and we have had lots of problems with other children and their treatment of our children.

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I've lived in some pretty rough places and found them more tolerant and accepting then the more up marker towns I've lived in. I think appearances can be deceiving. I once lived next door to a drug dealer named Spike and apart from looking intimidating and rough around the edges he was the nicest person around, especially as a neighbour being considerate. I've lived next door to a nursery nurse and she was the foulest person to live next too, it just shows you really.

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I'm still getting the looks!!! God help those respectable neighbours I have... with their peeerrrffect lives !!! I bet everyone of them has a skelton in the cupboard or maybe under the patio!!! keep smiling :peace:

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