anxious and concerned as school is discriminating.

[sawjd]

Hello everyone,

 

Hope people can help me this time, in particular as our k is going (hopefully) back to school. He is reluctant to go back to school as they (school) are not understanding his needs regarding toileting. Our son is the sort that suffers in silence and

and has said he is not going back if his bottom is still bad (which it is). He is under investigation at Great Ormond Street for his bowl motions as he keeps saying he cannot feel when he needs to go. ( The reason i say i need help is i am feeilng extremely anxious and so do not want him to go back as its clear to me no one wants him there).

 

The school after much hassle eventually let him use a private toilet but the toilet is in the storage room and he cannot wash his hands as there are boxes in the way of getting to the little sink even though they had provided soap/ hand wash, our k never used it and I said nothing and hoped they would notice that this has not been used. Our k said he goes a wee and then goes out to the boys toilet to wash his hands. Two months went by, i check the toilet to see if he is using his pads as he has to change, still the soap and stuff has not been used or moved out out of the way. They don't like me going in there as they think i am up to no good. I have to count the pads to make sure our k is telling the truth that he has changed them.

 

Anyway, i hate having to get on at them as this makes me out to be the villain/troublemaker when all i am doing is looking out for my sons welfare. I am stiil upset about our k being blamed for his attitude and that it is down to his attitude that he is not progressing. I think i asked this before on this forum as to whether this is discrimination. We are applying to the tribunal for discrimination and change of school. Our k wants to go elsewhere where they understand him and where he feels safe. He actually said this to me that he would feel safe at this special school because other children are like him. We are both going to the doctors to see if she can back us up as the thought of going back to this school is making both me and him anxious and i know this does not look good.

 

Personally the school senco huffs and puffs at me over things like needing a map of where they were going on a school trip (whipsnade) i said he needed it so he could work out where the loos where and what to expect from the zoo. The attitude of the school is absolutely horrible, the headteacher on ks report said he makes no sense of what he is writing in english and needs to make sense of what he does write and that he needs to be on time for school in order to make progress.

 

The heateacher does not say hello to me in the afternoon when i go to pick him up. My partner goes to drop him off in the mornings so he has not been very late. He gets in at 8.55am on some days other days our k puts up a fight and does not want to go in. Is it really worth the hassle of going back. Can't take much more of this. I really want to scream at people who refuse to listen and judge without thinking about what its like for us. I am not refusing education just WHERE he is being educated as its not supporting his needs. The support in place is not good as they have refused to explain what training has been given to the staff to support our k (all they have is a lunch time assistant/part time assistant. I have tried to get on with the staff and they blank me. I have tried to make friends with the parents but all i get from them 'is your son should not be here'.

 

What should we do and what should be the right next step to take, going to tribunal and discrimination (all we want is a change of school/not money) is going to make attending school worse for our k and me.

 

Any ideas on how to handle these people, i have run out of smiles grins and bearing it.

 

Many thanks, sarni.

[Sally44]

Your post covers a huge number of topics.

 

I suggest that you just look at one of them at a time.

 

If your son refuses to go back into school then make sure this is recorded as being due to anxiety, and not just because he doesn't feel like going. I think CAHMS are already involved? If they are, or if Clinical Psychology is involved, then you need them to put in writing that his refusal is due to anxiety.

 

Regarding the toiletting issues. Why was he given a private toilet? Was it due to embarrassment about having to wear pads?

 

Anyway, if he cannot get access to the sink to wash his hands, then phone the school secretary and ask her to pass the message on. He should wash his hands after the toilet. Say that the washing facilities and equipment is there, but that your son has said he cannot get to the wash basin because of items stored in that room.

 

I thought the tribunal appeal was about the Statement.

 

Are you also bring up disability discrimination issues? That is much harder to prove. If possible, I would just include it all in the educational tribunal. The things you have detailed in your post are due to his current school not having the qualified staff with experience of these issues, rather than disability discrimination.

 

You need to concentrate on the things that win tribunals ie. needs not all identified, provision not quantified or specified, anxiety of child, lack of progress, school refusal etc. You need to pick the fights you can win and drop some of the lesser ones. Concentrate on the main issues that will secure the school placement you want, because at that school the other issues you have listed won't be a problem.

Edited September 3, 2012 by Sally44

[trekster]

http://www.autism.org.uk/greatexpectations

....this report might help your case as it is written about child and parent experiences of school.