Working progress on being more social

[smileyK]

I'm planning more social events on my own without being pushed forced to go or organise an event my parents are going away Saturday - Sunday having girlie night in with 3 school friends quite looking forward to it actually and was totally my idea not My parents two of my friends are sleeping over on mine on saturday night Sunday morning got another school best fr friend keep me company in morning so fun laughs all way it helps reduce anxieties around socialising but few years ago this would have freaked me out completely but slowly building working on foundations making progress step by step !!! Getting there at last!

[rufusrufus]

That's brilliant! Well done you! Something which works for me is making sure that I have time and space to "recover" after a social event - to allow the feeling of being overwhelmed to pass and to restore equilibrium. And rewarding myself for doing it too. For me socialising isn't just fun like it is for neurotypical people - it's a challenge, and I find it really tiring, even if I do enjoy the situation! I'm really chuffed to hear you've made these plans, I really hope you enjoy it.

[smileyK]

Counting down the days ... Not long to go now! Got two bottles of wine,sweets watching DVDs playing on wii lol perfect! Excited! mums buying me peanuts and crisps !

[smileyK]

Rufus totally relate what you explained / described in your post I have leave a gap to process breathe from social situations/ events as take lot out of you draining exhausting as it entails so much energy out of your system I just crash flake out try stay calm and collect but even before social situation begins I worked myself up into sweat of what could go wrong i get nervous anxious each and every time! That's how I see it too as a challenge!

[smileyK]

So today's the night!!! I'm a tad excited Vs a tad nervous just want get this right in being perfect hostess to my closest and bestest friends from school this hardest challenge for me prove I can do it! ?

[smileyK]

Last night went well played On wii party just dance my friend took lots of pictures on her camera of us all dancing still got food & drink left over we had takeaway pizza yum yum! Didn't get time for DVD that be next time plan I think! no drinks were spilt on carpet! all in all result!

[rufusrufus]

I'm so sorry I missed your updates until now, but I'm so pleased for you that it went well - yay!!! I hope you can have a chilled out day today, enjoying leftover party food (that's what I'd be doing, anyway!). This is just an idea, and might be daft, but I use visual cues / reminders of good things I've done, otherwise I just forget about them and don't give them the credit they deserve. I remember the negative stuff without any reminders though! Sometimes I write myself a note saying "I did this........ and I feel........ about it" and stick it on the fridge, or maybe use a picture or something? For me it proves to me that I did something good Well done you!! I love that you're planning for next time too

[smileyK]

The girls did discuss social circles at school and outside of it realised how much of bridge gap of difference between their lives and mine it hurt bit winded me as how much " missed out" due to AS/ depression and only starting make tracks with social situations now I'll never be able get my teen years back feel " robbed" stolen due to AS gone in a whizz a flash scary talking about friends boy friends such difficult topics As can't relate / share! Nothing to give makes me feel upset sad depressed etc

[matzoball]

Stop focussing on the negative. Enjoy what you have now.

[rufusrufus]

The girls did discuss social circles at school and outside of it realised how much of bridge gap of difference between their lives and mine it hurt bit winded me as how much " missed out" due to AS/ depression and only starting make tracks with social situations now I'll never be able get my teen years back feel " robbed" stolen due to AS gone in a whizz a flash scary talking about friends boy friends such difficult topics As can't relate / share! Nothing to give makes me feel upset sad depressed etc

 

I felt something similar after the initial euphoria of my diagnosis - I can't re-write my own history, and it could have been so different with an earlier diagnosis, however, I try to reframe it in my mind as "At least I was dianosed at 26, not 36, 46 or 56!" You are starting to write yourself a new future every day you do something positive, like this social event, which is pretty awe-inspiring, in my opinion