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madeinthe70s

What will become of us?

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I was finally diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult in 2006, after decades of misery and abuse I was forced to concede that there was something very wrong and I just wasn't coping with life.

Since that day I have sought out all of the help available to me in the hope that (with the right assistance) I might be able to turn things around.

Well I'm sorry to say that the help I needed and hoped for does not exist. I believe that what I and so many others need so badly is something real.... some PRACTICAL help. Sadly all I've ever received is tea and sympathy. I'm certain that all of the people that I've met have had the very best of intentions but the thing that disturbs me the most is why all of this (support) offered to me amounts to nothing more than a load of hot air.

The one single helpful thing that I did get out of my diagnosis was that after living without any money 'for a very long time' being supported wholly by my very ill parents I did (with some help) apply for and receive DLA. That has been of enormous help to me and is my sole source of income. Unfortunately that will soon come to an abrupt end courtesy of the Tory government and I will soon be totally penniless once again.

 

Some people with AS (myself included) have had such bad experiences at work that we have been advised by our doctors not to go back into that kind of environment ever again. So just getting any old job is not really an answer to our problems.

 

What I believe people with Aspergers would benefit from most of all is some REAL help and advice – even some funding to help them make the most of their talents, perhaps to become self employed, then they could help themselves - at least to some degree. This is so important right now because there will soon be no practical help whatsoever out there for any of us in what seems to be an increasingly cruel and selfish world.

How this could be achieved I'm not entirely sure.. but I do think that the existing charitable organizations (the ones that cater for adults on the Autistic spectrum) should at least try and gear themselves more towards 'self help' rather than the road that they are currently tread.

Everything seems to be geared towards getting people into 'exactly' the kind of work that people with Aspergers will find very difficult to sustain. Like working in teams, shift work in factories, supermarkets ect....

It's all seems like an attempt to try and force square pegs into round holes. I am painfully aware that this is the real world and a tailor made job for everyone with AS is not practical.

People with Aspergers are amongst the least lazy people I've ever met, I love working I just can't sit around all day I have to do something productive. But there is no doubt about it I work best alone without the fear of being threatened or picked on (for no apparent reason) all I want is to live and work without constant fear.

Perhaps a website could be set up where people on the spectrum can come together and sell their wares? I know that there are a lot of talented people with AS are out there with no outlet or support whatsoever, they might benefit form such a thing. Even earning a small amount of money is better than nothing! After all we are no different to anyone else in that regard, we still have bills to pay, food and clothing to buy.

 

As I see it the best thing we could do is band together in some way, kind of an ironic thing to suggest eh! Surely we would be stronger together than apart?

Maybe I'm just dreaming and looking at this from my own isolated perspective but if the world denies us the basic tools we need to survive then all we can do is try and make our own.

I am terrified for myself and others like me, how will we survive without any monetary support? Personally I am desperately trying to set up a small business, but if that does not work out I will be in serious trouble, I'm so scared of becoming homeless. It's very hard not to feel extremely depressed and keep any hopes I have alive.

Obviously we have all been utterly failed by rich self serving politicians, they have set themselves up as the enemy of the disabled and vulnerable and that is utterly despicable in a country that purports to be civilized IMO.

 

Anyway I'm interested in anyones thoughts or comments on what I've written, I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way.

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I find channelling my efforts into the changes proposed by the autism strategy helps me feel like im 'making a difference'.

If you google "aspergers + (your county)" there could be something in your area. User representation groups, autism/asperger

social groups somewhere you can feel accepted. What are your hobbies and interests? Theres also online petitions about cuts

to services. NAS varies in how good they are from area to area.

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Madeinthe70,s

I have to say I agree with what you are saying . I worry for my son that when i am old he will be on his own and struggling to survive. There isn't enough practical help out there, everyone quotes things form books about aspergers but know seems to be saying this is how to cope with someone who is mean to you or bullying you at work.

They just expect you to get on with it, it's the ivisable disablity. i wish i could say more but I cant find the words.

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What about campaigns helping autistics in your area? Please dont give up hope, ive had breakdowns, survived numerous suicide attempts but have somehow managed to keep going and find my way in life. This is coming from someone who has to move house due to disability.

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I find channelling my efforts into the changes proposed by the autism strategy helps me feel like im 'making a difference'.

If you google "aspergers + (your county)" there could be something in your area. User representation groups, autism/asperger

social groups somewhere you can feel accepted. What are your hobbies and interests? Theres also online petitions about cuts

to services. NAS varies in how good they are from area to area.

Thank you for your reply, I was involved in a local group a couple of years ago but it was just too far away for me to travel to regularly. I'm in no way disagreeing with your suggestions but I am going to have my DLA stopped next year sometime so I feel like I have to channel all of my efforts into finding a way to survive on zero income. I wish I believed that signing a petition would make a difference but in my whole life I have never heard of a petition that the Tories have taken any notice of whatsoever. I am really scared and I know I'm not the only one, I'm really quite an optimistic person and I don't give up hope very easily but this time I must admit that all hope of being treated fairly has gone.

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Madeinthe70,s

I have to say I agree with what you are saying . I worry for my son that when i am old he will be on his own and struggling to survive. There isn't enough practical help out there, everyone quotes things form books about aspergers but know seems to be saying this is how to cope with someone who is mean to you or bullying you at work.

They just expect you to get on with it, it's the ivisable disablity. i wish i could say more but I cant find the words.

I wish I had something a lot more positive and hopeful to say but this is such a terrible situation, all I can say is that I really do empathize with you, if you're son has any talents / obsessions that could be turned into a way of earning money then that could be a possibility. I like most people with AS don't cope with stress very well at all and I'm afraid that even if the little venture I have planned takes off - will I be able to cope without caving in? I must give it my best shot because if I can't help myself I have literally nothing else that I can fall back on.

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A tip perhaps, many AS people also have other problems like the big nasty; depression and it's associated and it is I found a possible way forward through the mental health charity MIND who describe aspergers as a disability in terms of work as we know as soon as an employer discovers an ailment a quick google and they see the negatives every time if they didn't know already. Now it is as long term unemployed I had my back to work interview at the job centre post ATOS and because in the past I had been railroaded by narrow minded civil servants I was fearful of the meeting.

 

So it was given various activists within MIND who are engaged in challenging the government over the unfair ATOS practices, the benefits advisor for MIND in my area was keen to know what was going on bearing in mind I never had an ATOS interview, due to them cancelling it the day I was on the premises, yet I had been put into a work related group. So this advisor accompanied me to the Joke centre interview to listen and advise if he sensed I was being abused. As it was I was recording the whole interview anyway and he was finding it hard not to laugh at what I was doing, but paranoia gets you that way when dealing with anything that represents authority.

 

But I furnished the Joke centre advisor with the new information, the fact that I did indeed have AS, where the advisor looked glum saying; '' Well that changes everything '' and so I was asked what I wanted to do to which I replied in my own capacity start my own business as I have ideas and skills to match and I also have a workplace to start my ideas, but I am stuffed in terms of some of the machinery I need of which I have estimated to be close to two thousand pounds and that because I had my machinery stolen when I relocated to here and if it hadn't have been stolen, I would not be in the joke centre now, but given my status of unemployed no one will lend money so I am effectively stopped from starting my own business and am so reliant on the tax payer for my negative existence.

 

So I was asked about my ideas and I told them and I told them that I had already had inquiries from America to supply shops, I had the letters with me, but I could not respond as I could not start my business through lack of funds. I was there told I could access Working Links where they have access to limited funds but because I am sort of classed as disabled in terms of work and some living there are charities with philanthropic donations that might be of use to me as otherwise the Joke centre can't help, there is not the funding for people like me, but I knew that already. Besides Working Links I had attended the previous year based on promises made which turned out to be false, so I was not exactly enthusiastic about going there again, especially as i had had a lot of negativity fired at me by my Working Links advisor.

 

But outside the Joke centre the MIND advisor was impressed by what I had said as my idea to make a business and so he said when he gets back to the office he is going to have a search around as he is aware there are many companies that offer free machines to the disabled as it benefits them in taxation and they believe in helping the less fortunate get moving. Well, it was I had a major depressive episode shortly after the confrontation with the enemy, so I did not get back in touch, but I did get a letter to say the advisor had found a company that will supply me with a model engineering lathe and a milling machine, also the polishing machine and the forming stakes I needed and another company is offering me a Ford Connect as transport for my business and to get back in touch when I am ready.

 

So in all my waffle I hope you can understand there is help out there, but you have to search for it, but if you have any of the depressive issues, seek the mental health charities for guidance, they may very well know exactly where to get what you need to start up in business yourself.

 

Myself I have realised I need a boss to please, a boss that knows when to keep away, as it seems I have a great deal of difficulty with self discipline, something that has occurred over the last five years of unemployment, so I am hoping to try and get involved with an artists co operative where I am motivated to supply and let someone else sell what I make as the former, selling stuff is not my forte and I always sell myself short.

 

Edited to add, I think what I need to start my business and get myself moving is a mentor that is a boss of sorts that does not get in my hair, as it was last year I was more active and i tried to get a business going , I did make some stuff and I did sell all of it at a craft fair before Xmas and that was because my cousin took an interest and annoyed me to the point I had to move but it was hard work for him, i was hard work and he eventually quit leaving me to sink back into my normal existence.

Edited by Sa Skimrande

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That's great news you have found a niche and good luck to you and anyone else who finally finds a place where they can be accepted.

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I echo that trekster good luck to anyone who has the motive to keep 'pushing' for what they want, don't give up, think positive :-)

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I echo that trekster good luck to anyone who has the motive to keep 'pushing' for what they want, don't give up, think positive :-)

 

Positive is the problem though, as comes a time when positive wears very thin as positive has not yielded hopeful results to keep us positive.

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Thanks for your stories and opinions, I really appreciate it, I've always wanted to make my own way in the world but so far my AS has proven to be an insurmountable barrier. I will keep on fighting but it's so hard to keep going sometimes, I've been fighting all my life and I get so very tired. I often wish that when I fall asleep it would be better if I didn't wake up.

 

It's not self pity but sheer world weariness - basically I've had enogh mental anguish to last me several lifetimes.

 

Anyway thanks

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i have some idea of how that feels, my signature says it all.

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Thanks for your stories and opinions, I really appreciate it, I've always wanted to make my own way in the world but so far my AS has proven to be an insurmountable barrier. I will keep on fighting but it's so hard to keep going sometimes, I've been fighting all my life and I get so very tired. I often wish that when I fall asleep it would be better if I didn't wake up.

 

As far as insurmountable barriers... just remember there's more than one way to do things, maybe at a different angle it isn't one barrier but an optical illusion of many barriers that when viewed from certain angles looks like a massive wall, if you step to the side it might look very different.

 

Barriers can be got over, under, round or you can smash through them... but we all gotta start somewhere (personally I tried to go through them but that got tiring after a while so now I try to work out which way is best as an attempt).

 

I've had enogh mental anguish to last me several lifetimes.

 

Me too, but I reckon I can take a bit more cuz I lived through it so I can live through it again, maybe you can too :)

 

 

Best

 

Darkshine

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I was diagnosed with Aspergers this year at 43, last year my whole deluded world fell apart. The main cause of this was long term depression I was not aware of; when I look back I knew I was a bit of a loaner and do not find enjoyment in things but just a need to do certain things with ultimate focus and an aversion to others. But everyone is like that, RIGHT (I thought), now I know that’s not strictly true, my intelligence comes with a hefty dose of arrogance and/or self doubt, a conflicting mix that seems to spill out at the wrong times.

 

I had a well paid (35k) job in the aerospace industry, which was literally eating away at my sanity. Although I was in total denial about it, my wife could see it but I just could not accept her critique of my personality. So after she moved out with my daughter my world literally came crashing down, at the time this was terrible but it made me seek help and I am now on meds for the depression and have a “label” of Aspie. I know some don’t want this label but for me it is useful, but not to claim any form of state benefits, that’s not to say that others are not entitled to do so and are in real need. Additionally that’s not to say I will not need to claim in the future.

 

But, here is my point. There is an internet site that Aspies can go to and sell there wears, it’s called Ebay. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I would think it was specifically designed for Aspies. No need to have face to face comms, start times to suit your moods, holidays settings you apply whenever things get a little bit difficult. It costs nothing to set up, no rent to pay if you don’t sell anything.

 

I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but anyone who has any thoughts about self employment should start with Ebay. If you are anything like me you will doubt your own abilities and that is my biggest flaw, but once the items you list start to sell you begin to question whether your doubts are well founded. Having the money to pay the bills is the physical manifestation that you’re doing something right.

 

I have been self employed for just under a year and although my income is not at the same level it once was I am a lot happier than when I worked for someone else and all the difficult things that came with it.

 

I am so confident about this, that I will help anyone who is seriously considering self employment to get started on ebay. Start small and build on the success, my Aspergers and the need to be an “Expert” has proved to be a REAL positive. Everyone has seen the videos on YouTube of famous Aspies, I don’t think those people would have achieved so much without it.

 

Please PM me if you need some help with self employment, I will try my best to help you. That’s Aspies working together….!

Edited by Prud

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I was diagnosed with Aspergers this year at 43, last year my whole deluded world fell apart. The main cause of this was long term depression I was not aware of; when I look back I knew I was a bit of a loaner and do not find enjoyment in things but just a need to do certain things with ultimate focus and an aversion to others. But everyone is like that, RIGHT (I thought), now I know that’s not strictly true, my intelligence comes with a hefty dose of arrogance and/or self doubt, a conflicting mix that seems to spill out at the wrong times.

 

I had a well paid (35k) job in the aerospace industry, which was literally eating away at my sanity. Although I was in total denial about it, my wife could see it but I just could not accept her critique of my personality. So after she moved out with my daughter my world literally came crashing down, at the time this was terrible but it made me seek help and I am now on meds for the depression and have a “label” of Aspie. I know some don’t want this label but for me it is useful, but not to claim any form of state benefits, that’s not to say that others are not entitled to do so and are in real need. Additionally that’s not to say I will not need to claim in the future.

 

But, here is my point. There is an internet site that Aspies can go to and sell there wears, it’s called Ebay. In fact, if I didn’t know any better I would think it was specifically designed for Aspies. No need to have face to face comms, start times to suit your moods, holidays settings you apply whenever things get a little bit difficult. It costs nothing to set up, no rent to pay if you don’t sell anything.

 

I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but anyone who has any thoughts about self employment should start with Ebay. If you are anything like me you will doubt your own abilities and that is my biggest flaw, but once the items you list start to sell you begin to question whether your doubts are well founded. Having the money to pay the bills is the physical manifestation that you’re doing something right.

 

I have been self employed for just under a year and although my income is not at the same level it once was I am a lot happier than when I worked for someone else and all the difficult things that came with it.

 

I am so confident about this, that I will help anyone who is seriously considering self employment to get started on ebay. Start small and build on the success, my Aspergers and the need to be an “Expert” has proved to be a REAL positive. Everyone has seen the videos on YouTube of famous Aspies, I don’t think those people would have achieved so much without it.

 

Please PM me if you need some help with self employment, I will try my best to help you. That’s Aspies working together….!

First of all let me say that I'm sorry that things things came to a head, and your life came crashing down in the way it has, I am not at all surprised that you're suffering with depression I hope that you can bounce back and I wish you all the best for the future.

Thank you very much indeed for your helpful suggestions, over the years I have given various options some very serious thought indeed. Two of my biggest problems are an almost pathological lack of self confidence and the other is that I graduated in art... or more specifically Illustration a notoriously difficult field to get a career in.

Just around the time of my graduation my mother was diagnosed with cancer so I had to return home and help my dad. After that I found myself trapped in this situation that I've been unable to get out of it. I live in a very small dark and damp room that has proven impossible to do any serious artwork in for over 10 years now. I was forced to give up on art after trying so hard to keep going because of my circumstances. Also it's been such a long time since I did any art that I don't even know if I'm still any good at it.

I would have made use of ebay but unfortunately I've not had anything to sell. However just recently I have come up with something that might be profitable and I'm seriously thinking of truing to make into a small business, I need to do some testing first but I hope that I can turn this into something viable in the very near future.

Like a lot of people I never wanted to rely on any benefits but for years I had no money whatsoever. Then a year after I was diagnosed someone helped me to apply for DLA and it was successful. Even though receiving benefits feels humiliating I can't tell you how much it has improved my life. But now the government has seen fit to label everyone (on any kind of benefit) a scrounger while paying Atos millions to remove as as many people off benefits as possible I will definitely be loosing my DLA next year. In fact I'm not even going to go to my so called assessment with Atos when they call me in. I would be happy to go if it was fair and they would listen to my doctor but this is anything but fair so what's the point.

I would definitely have a meltdown if I went to this 'so called' assessment. I can't think of anything much more humiliating than going to a something rigged like that.

I've never even attempted to claim any other benefits all I receive is DLA and that is the only income. I know that many people with Aspergers are going to be in trouble when their money is taken away and that is one of the reasons I started this thread. I wanted to ask others what could be done and maybe give others in a similar situation some hope. There has to be a way for us to make some kind of living without being forced to work in situations and environments that we can't cope with.

I have had experience in the workplace and EVERY SINGLE TIME I was bullied, mistreated and taken advantage of. My doctor said I should never have go back into that sort of situation again but that is exactly what this government wants to force me into. Not that there are even ANY jobs around anyway.

One thing that has always guaranteed to caused me to break down is unfairness, I just can't deal with it, I've never been able to cope with it, and this is a deeply unfair situation.

Anyway before I don't want to digress any further:

Thank you to the people who have given such helpful suggestions so far I hope that even more people will step in with some ideas.

In my experience people with Aspergers are usually highly intelligent and talented / gifted people, and even though our particular set of problems cannot easily be overcome I hope there is a way to move forward. As Darkshine said if we can't find a way through via the normal channels perhaps we can find another way around.

If the larger world refuses to let us forge our own destiny then the only thing we can do is attempt to forge our own.

 

We want to work given the chance.

Edited by madeinthe70s

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I find attending autism related meetings helps in a way. i went to a meeting today and was told that i was right for speaking up for what i believe in there. i was so touched that someone gave me their Simpsons Cluedo game.

I am also close to a breakdown and feel that very few people care.

 

To the person talking about ebay, you normally have to pay listing or selling fees. i have attempted to sell items on ebay but unsure what to sell and how to sell it so to speak. i wish i had more organisational ability to get all the things done that are essential to my life.

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@madeinthe70s

 

I agree with allmost all you have said, especially your comments on unfairness. I too have a deep seated sense of fairness and have come face to face with the unjust way in which all illnesses are treated with such distain by many of our politicians. 28 years ago my mum was diagnosed with MS and the way she was treated by the state system was atrocious, with vindictive tests only the most uncompassionate in society could dream up.

 

My chosen career from the age of 3 as my parents told me was to be an artist, the very shy, quiet little boy sitting in the corner of the room drawing. I was accepted into Art College on the merit of my work alone but due to circumstances still fully unknown to me, on enrolment day there were no places available. A meltdown quickly followed and that was the end of my childhood ambition to be an artist, so unlike you I never got the chance to study art formally. So 27 years later and too many jobs to name here, what am I doing…….?

 

Graphic Design and self employed.

 

I agree illustration is a very difficult career to get a job in but with the internet your work can be seen by millions.

 

I do however strongly disagree with your statement “I don't even know if I'm still any good at it” my opinion is that Tracy Emit and Damion Hurst are not any good at it, but that does not stop others liking their work. Peter Howson’s (an Aspie) work is brilliant although his imaginary friend conversion fills me with dismay (but that’s a very different topic). For years I did not think Van Gogh was any good until my synesthesia came forth and now he is (in my opinion) the greatest artist we have ever seen and that’s because I hear his use of colours and Starry Night is the most beautiful painting to see & hear.

 

All artists are tormented in some way or another, so let your torment become your art. I urge you to illustrate your thoughts and let people see it. Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime, but he was no failure even though his contemporaries thought he was not "any good at it".

Edited by Prud

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@trekster

 

Can I suggest stamp collecting, cross stitching, playmobil, Star Trek, Liverpool fc, use your interests. Go to car boots, use freecycle, put an advert in a free add paper for unwanted items and buy those items you know about & sell them on ebay. It costs 10p to list an item and you only pay fees when you have sold them, I know I am simplifying the process but this thread is entiled "What will become of us" and the anwers is nothing, if we don't try....

Edited by Prud

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@ Prud

 

 

It would appear that we share more than a few 'views and opinions' (don't get me started on Tracy Emin or Damien Hurst! LOL)

I am - and always will be totally unable to cope with unfairness or injustice of any kind. When it happens I'm either struck dumb or I get so upset that if I don't have a meltdown it comes very close. These days I would go as far as saying that (to me) there seems to be very little point in getting an official diagnosis for Aspergers other than for your own peace of mind... or a need to know one way or the other. If people are going in the hope of some practical support then I hope they get what they are looking for.

To be fair, when I was diagnosed as an adult I was told that there was very little in the way of “real word help” for me. I have been able to claim DLA and I've been allotted the minimum amount of hours (my own choice) with our local Autistic Trust. However never having had any kind of help with my AS before I've never really understood what help to ask for, I just automatically try and take care of any difficulties or problems I have myself (usually by avoiding them) After such a long time I find it next to impossible to do things in any other way.

 

Just like you I found a huge amount of solace in sitting alone drawing, I know you'll understand exactly what I mean when I recall those moments when nothing else in the world exists, I would forget to eat or drink and the hours would fly by. And if I thought the piece was going well then trying to stop me would not be a very good idea.

 

I know that it's in the past now but it's a shame you didn't try to enroll at the art college again for the next year, I was thrown out of art college when my grandmother (who lived with us at the time) died of cancer.

The tutors couldn't have been more callous and cruel about it, my parents went and pleaded with them to let me stay telling them the reasons for my poor work and inability to cope but they wouldn't have any of it.

 

Fast forward one year later and I heard that the head of the course had retired and all of the old staff had left with him, so I went back and tried again. I was accepted, did well, and managed to go on to university.

 

FWIW I'm convinced that formal training in art is completely unnecessary anyway, if you're good, you're good. A lot of the very best artist and musicians are self taught and manage to be fantastic without one shred of formal training.

 

I've done a handful Graphic Design jobs in the past but again I'm no good a promoting myself so it didn't turn into anything more substantial.

 

It's always been my intention to have another go at art if I ever get out of the situation I'm currently stuck in, If I ever do get a half decent place to work I'm going to try and start up again, I've nothing to loose by trying.

 

I experience synesthesia when listening to music and sometimes it even manifests itself into imagined pictures or landscapes, music is my greatest passion in life even above drawing and painting.

 

Thank you for the encouragement – it's much appreciated.

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@ Prud

 

 

It would appear that we share more than a few 'views and opinions' (don't get me started on Tracy Emin or Damien Hurst! LOL)

I am - and always will be totally unable to cope with unfairness or injustice of any kind. When it happens I'm either struck dumb or I get so upset that if I don't have a meltdown it comes very close. These days I would go as far as saying that (to me) there seems to be very little point in getting an official diagnosis for Aspergers other than for your own peace of mind... or a need to know one way or the other. If people are going in the hope of some practical support then I hope they get what they are looking for.

 

Same here and what I see and experience in adult life really hurts me.

 

To be fair, when I was diagnosed as an adult I was told that there was very little in the way of “real word help” for me. I have been able to claim DLA and I've been allotted the minimum amount of hours (my own choice) with our local Autistic Trust. However never having had any kind of help with my AS before I've never really understood what help to ask for, I just automatically try and take care of any difficulties or problems I have myself (usually by avoiding them) After such a long time I find it next to impossible to do things in any other way.

 

 

Again you are the same and the avoidance tactic only works for so long before things go badly wrong and there is no one to help you get out of it and because of it I have had county court judgements and bailiffs acting against me for what I don't understand. Yeah sure I understand my obligation, but my problem is when I encounter something I don't understand, creditors are not helpful in helping me understand.

 

Just like you I found a huge amount of solace in sitting alone drawing, I know you'll understand exactly what I mean when I recall those moments when nothing else in the world exists, I would forget to eat or drink and the hours would fly by. And if I thought the piece was going well then trying to stop me would not be a very good idea.

 

Lost in obsession I know that one well and I love it and it is the place where I work at the best of my ability and I am totally at ease with not a worry in the world,( because I am conveniently ignoring all the hurtful things in my normal existence and yes, another avoidance tactic)

I know that it's in the past now but it's a shame you didn't try to enroll at the art college again for the next year, I was thrown out of art college when my grandmother (who lived with us at the time) died of cancer.

The tutors couldn't have been more callous and cruel about it, my parents went and pleaded with them to let me stay telling them the reasons for my poor work and inability to cope but they wouldn't have any of it.

 

Fast forward one year later and I heard that the head of the course had retired and all of the old staff had left with him, so I went back and tried again. I was accepted, did well, and managed to go on to university.

 

FWIW I'm convinced that formal training in art is completely unnecessary anyway, if you're good, you're good. A lot of the very best artist and musicians are self taught and manage to be fantastic without one shred of formal training.

I agree !

 

But we live in a world where no one is anything unless they have a piece of paper to say they have done whatever course and so without the bits of paper you in actual fact unskilled labour despite your abilities and something I come across on a regular basis and have had it, people asking which university I attended to be so skilful, when I say I have never been to university, they drift off. It is as if people's perceptions change when they don't receive the information they have been trained to expect.

 

I've done a handful Graphic Design jobs in the past but again I'm no good a promoting myself so it didn't turn into anything more substantial.

 

The very same here and so it is with my own ideas of getting moving I have realised, although I need to work on my own following my own intelligence and inquiry, I also need to be working for someone else as a sensitive and realistic promoter and seller as I can make and make to a very high standard stuff others don't even think of, but I can't sell at what it's worth and so often end up giving my stuff away and bearing the costs myself.

 

 

It's always been my intention to have another go at art if I ever get out of the situation I'm currently stuck in, If I ever do get a half decent place to work I'm going to try and start up again, I've nothing to loose by trying.

 

I experience synesthesia when listening to music and sometimes it even manifests itself into imagined pictures or landscapes, music is my greatest passion in life even above drawing and painting.

 

Thank you for the encouragement – it's much appreciated.

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