Form of bullying

[Special_talent123]

today I was at bus station, person was speaking to someone in her 20's whispering about me which i looked behind me and she gave me a funny look because I am wearing a dolphin jumper, then i turned back she then came up to me and sniffed me behind my back

[Mannify]

she gave me a funny look because I am wearing a dolphin jumper, then i turned back she then came up to me and sniffed me behind my back

What puzzling behavior! Maybe she had her own issues, it's hard to tell sometimes. Still, it must have been really annoying and upsetting

[Special_talent123]

no excuse for her behaviour. This woman was in her 50-60's btw whispering about me to lady in her 20's. that woman sniffered behind me, i could feel, hear and see from corned my eye

Edited September 17, 2012 by Special_talent123

[Mannify]

Then I'm angry, too . You're right, it is a form of bullying. When people are horrible (we've had some really unpleasant stuff down our street recently) I always try to take it as a reminder of how not to be so that at least they don't lower me to their level.

 

Grrrrr again

[Isobel]

Just don't react, take it as an isolated thing and don't lower yourself to their level. Coming from someone whose had years of bullying at school.

[madeinthe70s]

^{And people say people with AS are bad socially! In my experience it's always the people who think of themselves as "normal" (if there is such a thing) that have always been my biggest problem. All we do is get a few little things wrong from time to time and get told we're the freaks! NO it's people like that who are the freaks. The best thing to do is not react at all, just ignore them they are not even worth your anger, in fact pity them because they are EMPTY INSIDE they lack what it is to be a human being.}

 

^{Despite the terrible way I've been treated throughout my life I made a decision long ago that I would never become like them, I am a good and kind person and I will NEVER stoop to their level.}

 

^{Sorry my post is so small I don't know what happened there}

Edited September 17, 2012 by madeinthe70s

[Special_talent123]

I dont react i dont communicate with stranges @isobel. I just went home and got indoors and cried in my bedroom. I have pretty 22 years of bullying and I know how much it can damage your wellbeing.

[oxgirl]

I dont react i dont communicate with stranges @isobel. I just went home and got indoors and cried in my bedroom. I have pretty 22 years of bullying and I know how much it can damage your wellbeing.

 

Aw, so sorry to hear this. Sending you a hug to try and make you feel a bit better. <'> Some people just are plain nasty and need to be ignored. Try not to take it to heart and just brush it off as a horrid person who probably hasn't got any friends because of their nastiness.

 

~ Mel ~

[Mannify]

I just went home and got indoors and cried in my bedroom

. Hope tomorrow's a better day for you

[Special_talent123]

anxious day tomorrow waiting hear outcome of case conference, but thank u

[Mannify]

Hope it goes your way

[madeinthe70s]

I dont react i dont communicate with stranges @isobel. I just went home and got indoors and cried in my bedroom. I have pretty 22 years of bullying and I know how much it can damage your wellbeing.

I dont react i dont communicate with stranges @isobel. I just went home and got indoors and cried in my bedroom. I have pretty 22 years of bullying and I know how much it can damage your wellbeing.

Sorry I didn't explain what I meant to say very well, when I said "don't react" I only meant don't let them make you feel upset because they are not worth it. Of course I would never suggest confronting these people it would be a complete waste of time. It took me a long time to achieve it but this kind of behaviour has no effect on me anymore I've been subject to it so much that it's lost all of it's power to upset me so if it happens to me I just think idiot and forget all about it. That is the way I've learned to cope with it but everyones different, what works for me might not be te answer for anyone else.

[Isobel]

Sorry I didn't explain what I meant to say very well, when I said "don't react" I only meant don't let them make you feel upset because they are not worth it. Of course I would never suggest confronting these people it would be a complete waste of time. It took me a long time to achieve it but this kind of behaviour has no effect on me anymore I've been subject to it so much that it's lost all of it's power to upset me so if it happens to me I just think idiot and forget all about it. That is the way I've learned to cope with it but everyones different, what works for me might not be te answer for anyone else.

 

Yeah that's what I meant too.

[Special_talent123]

Hope it goes your way

 

im allowed a reassessment on my mental health diagnosis

[Special_talent123]

Sorry I didn't explain what I meant to say very well, when I said "don't react" I only meant don't let them make you feel upset because they are not worth it. Of course I would never suggest confronting these people it would be a complete waste of time. It took me a long time to achieve it but this kind of behaviour has no effect on me anymore I've been subject to it so much that it's lost all of it's power to upset me so if it happens to me I just think idiot and forget all about it. That is the way I've learned to cope with it but everyones different, what works for me might not be te answer for anyone else.

 

i do not show emotion in front of them, i just cried in my bedroom thats all

[madeinthe70s]

Well I'm sorry to hear they made you cry, if anything like that happens again just remember that it's not you it's them, they will be doing this kind of thing to lots of other innocent people. They are sad empty people that need to grow up.

[Special_talent123]

but she is a woman in 50-60's doing that she should know better

[madeinthe70s]

but she is a woman in 50-60's doing that she should know better

Your absolutely right she should have known better but sadly age is no indicator of maturity.

[Mannify]

im allowed a reassessment on my mental health diagnosis

So is that the news you wanted?

[Special_talent123]

So is that the news you wanted?

 

yes and its now getting through the next stage is a worry

[Mannify]

Yeah, it's exhausting when getting what you need is in stages and you have to succeed in getting one done before you get the next one sorted. When's the next stage?

[Sa Skimrande]

The best way to deal with idiots is to ignore them or better still rise above them as I have found suggesting others 'grow up' or 'get a life',usually does the trick, the belittling exercise.

[cmuir]

Difficult to know how to react. I remember very well how other kid's parents used to be when my son was a bit younger. I was treated like a leper and frankly was disgusted at their lack of understanding and judgemental behaviour. One day R had a meltdown over a t-shirt and a teacher came over and said that it must be hard hearing him tell me he wishes I were dead. "No" I replied, "He has a disability and finds changes difficult to cope with. What's difficult and frankly shameful are is the gossip brigade that stand back enjoying the 'entertainment'". At that they all scurried off. I found that incredibly liberating. I'm not saying that's the best approach, but on that occasion it worked for me - I wanted them to feel ashamed of their behaviour over the way those mums treated my son and I, especially given he has a disability.

[Mike_GX101]

today I was at bus station, person was speaking to someone in her 20's whispering about me which i looked behind me and she gave me a funny look because I am wearing a dolphin jumper, then i turned back she then came up to me and sniffed me behind my back

 

Maybe she had a cold and had no tissue and she found your dolphin jumper quite appealing.

[Special_talent123]

@mike but has no right to invade my privacy and sniff me

[Mike_GX101]

@ST123

 

Perhaps she was short-sighted and was admiring your dolphin jumper. Don't be so jumpy - it was probably nothing at all. It doesn't sound like she was bullying you.

[Special_talent123]

no she was sniffering me - i have heightened senses to hearing . i can protect myself from things bad happening as i had things happen

[Mike_GX101]

No she was a short-sighted person who was sniffing as she had a cold and had no tissue to blow her nose with.

 

But whatever this woman was doing (and I know you'd love to argue on this all day if you could) - a little imagination on the subject goes a long way to reframing your perception on this issue leaving you feeling much better. Don't let it get to you so much - forget about it. It happened. Move on. Get on with who you are and what you do - forget about some random stranger on the street with some sniffing-problem. It's just not worth getting worked up over.

 

That's all I can really say on the matter.

[Special_talent123]

no she wasnt she could see it from a distance. and she didnt have a cold she wasnt sniffering on bus or coughing

Edited September 21, 2012 by Special_talent123

[Special_talent123]

no i dont love arguing im not even arguing i am saying how it was. you werent there.

[Mike_GX101]

OK but the reframing bit is very important here.

 

What I was trying to do was to get you to think about the situation differently so it didn't stress you so much. The idea she had a cold and had no tissue and was short-sightedly taking a look at your jumper she liked while sniffing due to having no tissue to blow her nose isn't there to be dismissed and is most likely incorrect any way as you say. However you can do it yourself. You can apply the power of your mind to anything and change the effect it has on you personally and emotionally.

 

I really think you should look into doing some CBT training. The techniques get you thinking about how your cognition of events (thoughts and perceptions) affect your behaviour and physical side-effects. By getting you to change how you perceive the events you change the way you feel about them almost to the point that you feel sorry for the person sniffing you because you may see then that it wasn't bullying but more that she had a problem of her own and it was nothing to do with you.

 

Try it some time. Apply the power of your mind to the situation and try to see it from another angle.

Edited September 22, 2012 by Mike_GX101

[Special_talent123]

if i wasnt at special school i wouldnt recognise what bullying was because teacher told me when I was 16 and i had no concept of understanding what bullying is. I cant have CBT when tried DBT which is same- but it did not work out for me. I have been abused, so I am very protective of myself thats why im scared of being outside locally.

[Mike_GX101]

no i dont love arguing im not even arguing i am saying how it was. you werent there.

 

No I wasn't and if you believe it was bullying/harrassment and no reasoning will change your view on it then you have every right to follow it up and report it at the police station if you so wish.

Edited September 23, 2012 by Mike_GX101