Autistic and sociable?

[Noskcaj86]

Hi everyone,

 

Wondering weather its possible for someone to be Autistic but sociable too? My son is being refered for Assessment as he shows a lot of ASD traits but the thing that confuses me is that hes sociable, overly so a lot of the time.

 

He has a lot of anti social "bad" behaviour, he doesnt know where to draw the line, not ever had seperation anxiety from me, his dad or anyone else, hits/bites/pinches/throws things, crawls around shop floors, jumps around on the bus, runs off, has big screaming kicking tantrums, shouts at people...the list goes on. He's run over to complete strangers in the past, hit them, then walked away like nothing happened. He also does things like going over to strangers babys in prams and kissing them, the parent then trys to pull there baby away while my son is "smothering" the baby in kisses. He also kisses his baby brother but i have to watch very closely because one second he's kissing him lovingly, the next he hits him in the face and laughs at him crying!

 

He definatly enjoys peoples company. He will talk to anyone, which is worrying. He spoke to a homeless man a few days ago, the man was sat on a bench and obviously drunk, but my son never seems intimidated or shy of anyone or aware of danger. He would quite happily walk of with any stranger who asked him to go with them. He went to see his new school today, they offered for him to visit his class and stay for a while. He ran straight in, sat down and started showing a kid he didnt know his toy cars. He stayed an hour and a half!!

 

We mentioned this all to his paediatrician last week, he said he wanted to refer him for detailed assessment asap for ASD but didnt comment on the fact that he's overly sociable so now confused!

 

thanx

 

I would just like to add that he has ASD traits in every other area...

He has social problems and lacks understanding of social situations, but he really enjoys other peoples company!

CONFUSED! why are these doctors so secretive, wht cant they tell me what they are thinking...

Sorry if im ranting, Its just so frustrating. Over 2 years now and still no proper answers,

I just hope this detailed assessment gives us a diagnosis of some kind so we can move on and understand our childs needs better. (posts merged)

Edited January 15, 2013 by trekster

[Lyndalou]

This is a bit of a bugbear of mine... as with other issues related to ASD it's the 'inappropriateness' of the behaviour. So if a child throws their arms around any stranger they see or chats away to them when most children would not then there might be a problem. My son goes up to men in particular, beams at them and calls them 'Daddy' (most men are daddy due to the speech disorder her has) and takes their hand to lead them to help him with whatever he wants help with or to draw their attention to something he has written. He can quite easily go over to people and just climb into their laps too. He did this with the Educational Psychologist when she came to assess him and he'd never met her before. One of his little friends is diagnosed with classic autism and often when we go to play sessions he will become obsessed with a younger child and follow them around, giving them cuddles and kissing them even when they can start to become upset with the harrassment. His mum is continuously trying to explain to him that the child has become upset and tries to divert his attention.

 

So, I would say that if your little boy hits or bites people randomly at times, this too is 'inappropriate' but just a different manifestation of the same thing but more obviously so.

 

I have for a long time described myself as a 'People person who is scared of other people'. I read an interesting article recently, written by a woman diagnosed with AS which was about just this. Some children with ASD will not show any interest in other people and will be indifferent to them but others will be desperate to be liked and accepted.

 

Edited September 18, 2012 by Lyndalou

[Mannify]

My son is highly sociable, too. His eye contact can be very intense and he'll physically pull your face towards him. But, his eye contact is on his terms and it can be very difficult to gain if it isn't part of his agenda. He has little interest in other children other than his siblings, but he forms very strong attachments to adults. He leaves a trail of broken hearts behind him everywhere he goes, especially as he moves class. Nonetheless, he can be quite violent. He's 7 now and things appear to be settling down a bit, but he does still sink his teeth into me from time to time. Interestingly, he'll only bite people with whom he's comfortable - so you're inner circle if you get bitten, lol! At his mainstream school, which he left for special school 18 months ago, he once hit his TA 40 times in a morning!

 

Everyone loves my son because of his vast enthusiasm for life - leaves falling down, bubbles, balloons, snowfall, all have him screaming in joy and flapping his hands. If people laugh he'll go up and join in with them with his own exaggerated kind of laugh, although he doesn't know why they're laughing. He often calls strangers, "Lovely Man". We feel very privileged that he's ours.

 

So yes, autism and sociability can coexist

[Noskcaj86]

Hi Lynda,

We go to a parent and toddler group once a week, they have a music time for about 5 mins where everyone sits in a circle and sings songs.... Everyone exept Jack who runs around in a circle at the back of the room. No matter how much coaxing i give him to join in he wont. Last time i watched him extra closely and his eyes are in a daze while he's doing this. Another boy joined him in running in circles, but the other kid was alert and smilling/lookin at the people sitting down in the singing circle trying to get there attention. Jack didnt look for my approval or seem to notice anyone around him, not even the other kid, he was in his own little world, zoned out and just enjoying the music and running. I guess this could count as anti social as he has never joined in with the singing time, weve been going to the group for 3 years and this is how he's always been. I have just had to pick my 8 month old up for a cuddle after Jack decided to push him over backwards from sitting so he banged his head on the floor, also a bit anti social! But on the whole he loves being around other people. But it sounds like your son behaves in a similar way. Just put baby down on the floor for a crawl around, Jack has just sat on his back making baby cry again. He's quite a loving child but can change from loving and caring to hitting or pushing in a split second. I know he does this kind of thing more when he's bored. But its impossible for me to be doing activities to keep him occupied all day long... We (me and Jack) cant wait for full time school next month

The school mentioned yesterday about him being assessed at school by an educational psychologist for his language delays and for any other issues they pick up on once he starts full time school. They mentioned it might not be the right school for him and that he may need to go to another specilised language unit 25 mins away by bus, luckily not to far to travel. She said it could be a part time thing so he's main stream 3 days a week, language unit the other 2. What type of school does you son go to if you dont mind me asking? Thanx

 

Thanx Mannify, just wish the paediatrician would have explained this to me when i asked! Your son sounds like a lovely kid (posts merged)

Edited January 15, 2013 by trekster

[Mannify]

Thanks, yours, too . Sometimes it can be exhausting keeping up with the changes in behaviour, though, can't it?

[Noskcaj86]

Thank you Yeah definitely can be exhausting. Especailly when my son was having sleeping problems and getting out of bed and his room 30 times a night... that was really exhausting!!! But luckily he's got a LOT better now thanx to a very tall stair gate on his door frame.

[madeinthe70s]

I found this post to be most interesting, 'yet again' it only goes to show the huge difference in traits exhibited across the spectrum by people with AS and why the public has such a difficult time working out what Aspergers actually is. As a child I was almost the opposite to the OPs little boy, I was quiet withdrawn liked to play on my own, I was painfully naive and non violent, but most of all I just didn't know how to interact with the other children so I didn't really try. As a result I was very wary of most people and I preferred to keep my distance. I rarely had a lot of tantrums but when I did get upset I would often go berserk and self harm. In those days long before Aspergers was recognized I was simply labeled as 'shy' by adults and 'weird' by kids! Anyway I think it's perfectly reasonable to appear sociable and have AS, I always wanted to be sociable and join in but like some kind of aversion therapy whenever I tried it I felt very uncomfortable and that quickly put me off, especially when some of the kids started to detect that I wasn't OK and started to bully me for being or "behaving" differently.

 

 

I hope that the OPs son will be spared the anguish I had to endure and have a much better time of it than I did socially, I'm sure he will soon grow out of his less desirable traits as subject based obsessions begin to take hold.

[Lyndalou]

Hi Noscaj

 

My little boy has just started P1 (Reception in England/Wales?) at a special needs school which caters for children from Nursery to 18 at age 4 1/2. He attended nursery there from age 3 1/4. Up until this time he was fully mainstream, attending toddler sessions from around a year old, then 2's group from 2 1/2 (following Scottish National Curriculum) and then mainstream Playgroup from 3. When he went to special needs nursery he attended there 3 mornings per week and 2 mornings at mainstream Playgroup.

 

We went to 3 toddler groups in total. He didn't cope very well at the first one. At age 1 he was very active, walking and running very quickly. I thought he was just reticent as he would let other children grab things from him and he would get off apparatus if other children approached. He was very whingey and after a while he would start screaming before we went in the door and I made the connection with an incident when another child walked up to him and screamed in his face. However, it didn't matter how much I tried to reassure him. I also was very aware myself that the toddler group was held in a low-ceilinged room and it felt claustrophobic.

 

At the second, it was a small group and the room was very airy with lots of natural light. He was happy in this group and we stayed for a while but he was still very reticent and kept close to me.

 

At the third, there were a lot of children and parents. The room was big and there were a lot of chairs stacked up on each side of the room. I started doing committee work and was often in the kitchen or tidying and my son either screamed for me, clung to me, climbed to the top of the stacked chairs or walked in circles around the room.

 

Around the same time I attended a music class with him. He was completely unable to follow instructions and would break free from me if we were doing an activity and made a beeline for sockets, thumb tacks on the wall and the electric piano even when the music teacher had switched it off. It got to the point that I felt very on edge before we went in.

 

This was all pre-diagnosis. His obsessional issues became quite obvious at 2's group and Playgroup. He would sit away from the other children and do the same puzzle over and over. However, he also tried to interact with the other children but at this point he was more 'separate'.

 

When he got his diagnosis, I made the decision for him to do split-placement as I felt it would be very helpful for him to learn from children who were typically developing in an environment where staff could encourage him to do the things which he found difficult. We were lucky in the fact we had a Split Placement Co-ordinator who spoke with me a number of times and acted as a liaison between the two environments. She was also able to give the mainstream staff advice. For instance, Playgroup staff were setting up a table for my son to go to to do puzzles or play with letters (his principal obsession) when the other children were doing registration. I was unhappy about this because although I knew he found it difficult being so close to other children and sitting still, I felt it was important for him to try to learn to cope. Visiting the nursery, the Split-Placement Co-ordinator was told that my son was first to the mat for registration. It was suggested that the Playgroup staff change registration to 'Hello Time' and the following week my son sat on the mat for registration, albeit with some assistance from a member of staff and to the side of the other kids so he could make a swift getaway!!

 

Over the course of that year, my son became more confident being next to other children on play equipment and started to participate in group activities like song time and story time. He learned to tolerate the feel of sand and started to dip his hands in water without getting upset. He still spent a lot of time separate to the other children because it was important he didn't get too stressed and after Playgroup he was given a lot of 'down' time.

 

I've gone on a bit about all this but the point I'm trying to make is that kids with ASD can learn. They can often learn to cope with textures, noise and being around other children. They can be guided and shown what is acceptable behaviour and what is not and although it might need to be reinforced over and over, it can sink in in the end! It is explained to my son what is acceptable or not when he plays with his sister. He often can push her over, sit on her or shout in her face to make her cry. It is explained to him that his sister is smaller and he has hurt or upset her. When appropriate I ask him to apologise to his sister and there are times he can understand what he has done (but not always). Sometimes he copies what he sees other children doing and as he doesn't discriminate between good and bad behaviour, it has to be explained to him what is good or bad. He won't always like what I say and can take a meltdown and throw himself to the ground or shout and scream but for me, I feel that it's important not to let things slide just for the sake of a quiet life!

 

I know this is probably quite off topic but in order to teach appropriate social skills, the 'supports' if you like need to be in place and those then can be built upon!

 

Lynda

[justine1]

In my case my eldest son(NT) has always struggled socially as he is gifted he has usually been more advanced verbally and emotionally than kids his age,I do think as he has got older it has become easier for him to make friends.

 

Sam(ASD)has always been sociable,when he was 2 we used to go on the bus to take his brother to school and he would always talk to the elderly people on the bus,his speech was very advanced so they were always amazed,they would often give him sweets and some gave him money to buy some sweets. The problem with Sam is he struggles to maintain friendships he falls out with his friends everyday and hates apologising as he feels he does no wrong. Luckily he goes to an ASD unit so has 7 other boys in his class who are similar to him,one boy who is older is more like his younger rother who has ASD and they get on very well. Then there is a boy same age who is a good friend but they fall out more as they are a bit too similar!

 

My last two boys Dan(ASD) and Eli(NT) are both the same socially,they take AGES to get used to people,they very cautious and like to observe people and don't interact very well at all. Dan is in yr 2 now and has made some friends but took him a year. Eli was at pre school for 6mths before he even spoke to anyone! I am quite similar to Dan and Eli and I don't like having many friends rather one or two that are good friends who I know I can trust and rely on so I do take my time when making friends.

[Isobel]

I think someone at work has the symptoms of aspergers. He does talk, and he will talk to people, but he also does like to work on his own and doesn't deal that well with people sometimes and does inappropriate behaviour sometimes. He once slapped a colleague on the hand (not hard, but still a slap) when she went to put something in the wrong pigeon hole, and he once grabbed me by the arm and swung me back round in the opposite direction when I was heading towards the door of the post room carrying a bottle and a bag of stuff so my arms were full, and I was almost caught off balance. He also yelled at me for accidently sneezing on him, not that I don't think I actually did. He has epilepsy, and I wonder if this can come associated with aspergers?

[Noskcaj86]

Thanx lynda,

Seems like your sons getting some good help in school, i hope my son can get help as good. We spoke to the head teacher yesterday when jack had taster day. She didnt seem to worried about his issues, she almost brushed them off and said "im sure he will be fine" so i hope they will take it seriously! Also i mentioned about his referaln for asd assessment, we were stood outside the class and she looked through the window in the door at him and said "he doesnt look like hes autistic, he playing well at the moment" so im a bit concerned they dont realise how important the assessment will be. But i think once he starts full time, they will realise what i was trying to tell them about!

Edited September 18, 2012 by Noskcaj86

[Mike_GX101]

Of course you can have both.

 

But have you considered something like ADHD? That's when they're hyperactive and misbehave, etc so I believe.

[Noskcaj86]

Yes i have considered it, but he also had a lot of autistic traits, to many to remember on the spot! But hes showed signs of asd from approx 1 year old. We thought he was deaf early on because he didnt speak of answer to his name. He didnt say a word, not even mummy or daddy until 2 and a half and that was after a year of seeing a speech therapist. Hearing tests were all clear. Still delayed speech at 4 years and still needing speech therapy. He stimms, he was spinning in circles in the street and shop today. He also hand flaps and makes a constant clicking noise with his tongue, which is very irritating to people around him. I cant list all the traits hes not had, it would be a long post! but he has a LOT of traits and is sociable in the way he likes to be around people. Although there are also a lot of anti social behaviours too! Thanx everyone for your comments, i find them all very helpful. So much to read up on and learn about autism. Trying to understand it all, im sure i will eventually (added in the corrections then deleted your additional post)

Edited January 15, 2013 by trekster

[Mannify]

It's a good idea to start listing obsessions, so you remember them. Our son has intense periods of obsession with such things as tearing paper into tiny pieces, or expecting people to wrap things up in just the right way - and it has to be right or there'll be a tantrum. He currently loves watching people walk through automatic doors - it makes him flap his hands and do a quick-step forward and back. Little details like this are helpful.

[Noskcaj86]

He spent a long time saying "meow" to everything... This took a long time to stop. He doesnt seem to have obsessions, unless im just not picking up on it?! He does seem very interested in cars. He seems to remember things like makes of cars and recognises the model shapes. For example.. If he sees a silver ford focus he says, "Look mum, thats same as nannys car" and he recognises subtle differences between the bus we catch to town, We live in a rural area and there are 2 buses an hour, one in each direction and he can tell the difference between them easily, i cant! He cant be recognising the number plate so he is seeing something else but not sure what. But hes not obsessed with cars/busses/trains, he just likes them...I think!?

[Lyndalou]

TBH, I think this sounds quite unusual, certainly not quite the norm anyway. My son at age 3 had a bit of an obsession with the badges on cars. In car parks he had to touch every badge on every car as he passed and make a particular sound as he touched them. This lasted for a number of months.

[Noskcaj86]

I just presumed an obsession meant that someone talks about, looks at, thinks about one certain subject all day? He has liked cars for 2-3 years now. But im not sure its obsessional. His dad thinks its an obsession, but im not convinc

 

Thought i should add, its not only cars he likes. Its cars, Trains, Motorbikes, Buses, Trucks. Anything with a motor that travels on land i guess anything with wheels and engine!

Edited September 18, 2012 by Noskcaj86

[Sa Skimrande]

Oh we have to be sociable or at least attempt to be as it is very true no man is an island, it gets very lonely and as a recluse I can tell you so but I am also diagnosed with ASD. Where we tend to suck at social lives is by not understanding the norms of it, but does anyone at first or does the so called NT go through the very same confusion and learning process the ASD does ?

 

But I understand from various sources there is a reigning back on the willingness to diagnose ASD now as some believe it has got somewhat out of hand in recent years where many have been diagnosed as mild when in fact what they could be is something entirely different or similar or it is the funds that accompany the disorder that the specialists seek, their continued employment and position. Also with this is the propensity for the teaching profession to wash their hands of what they do not have the ability to teach, which might go some way to describe exactly what kind of teachers teach in schools these days.

 

But I attended normal NT school throughout, yes a suggestion was made in the early seventies that I might indeed by autistic, but given what was available for such people back then I am glad my father chose to ignore the suggestion, but NT school was no picnic, I was bullied throughout and through the workplace later on and is it any wonder I have such a negative view on life, for it is a rat race.

 

But I mentioned other possible disorders, because schizophrenia can look like it as can something else I have just forced the proof of, that thing being Klinefelter's and there are others, but I suppose where the funding is, is the motivating factor for those that diagnose through the limited ability to teach to enable political gain.

[Lyndalou]

I'm not sure how easy 'obsession' is to define. What may be defined as 'obsessional' by one person may be described by another as an 'intense interest'. When I had a period of weeks of out-patient Occupational Therapy treatment last year, the OT said she had never met a person as 'obsessed' with ASD as me and having met others with the condition since and how little they may know about their own condition I would now perhaps agree with her! For me, it is absolutely necessary to learn as much as I can...then I'll move onto my next obsession no doubt.

 

In childhood, my principal obsession was probably gymnastics. I used to constantly do handstands at school and then at home I would stand on my head in the garden, 'timing' myself and practicing to stay upside down for half an hour at a time. I could do this for hours on end on my own. However, at the same time I was such an avid reader that I could (even on a school night) read for around 5 to 6 hours at a stretch. Was this obsession or something I just really enjoyed doing?

 

I suppose I am not worried about my son's obsessions right now as they are not things which I would consider problematic. In many ways I feel that my 'solitary preoccupations' have benefitted me and although I was initially upset about the things my son does on his own because I never recognised back then that I did the same thing in childhood, now I feel that they are a very helpful stress-reliever for my little boy.

[Noskcaj86]

I am trying to learn as mucch as I can about ASD so when/if hes gets diagnosis I will hopefully be able to understand and help him as much as possible. He has had tests for other things, but they were for things like metabolic conditions that cause developmental delays, all tests have come back normal. So now referred for ADS assessment. After so many tests and all coming back normal, in a way it will be a relief if he gets an ASD diagnosis as it will be an end to all the tests and will explain a lot of what we have all (Jack, me, his dad and his brothers) been through over the lase 2-3 years!

[jacklejacob]

i am social in very small groups, the problem is that i am a little strange so people do not like to socialise with me

[MelowMeldrew]

Hi everyone,

 

Wondering weather its possible for someone to be Autistic but sociable too? My son is being refered for Assessment as he shows a lot of ASD traits but the thing that confuses me is that hes sociable, overly so a lot of the time.

 

He has a lot of anti social "bad" behaviour, he doesnt know where to draw the line, not ever had seperation anxiety from me, his dad or anyone else, hits/bites/pinches/throws things, crawls around shop floors, jumps around on the bus, runs off, has big screaming kicking tantrums, shouts at people...the list goes on. He's run over to complete strangers in the past, hit them, then walked away like nothing happened. He also does things like going over to strangers babys in prams and kissing them, the parent then trys to pull there baby away while my son is "smothering" the baby in kisses. He also kisses his baby brother but i have to watch very closely because one second he's kissing him lovingly, the next he hits him in the face and laughs at him crying!

 

He definatly enjoys peoples company. He will talk to anyone, which is worrying. He spoke to a homeless man a few days ago, the man was sat on a bench and obviously drunk, but my son never seems intimidated or shy of anyone or aware of danger. He would quite happily walk of with any stranger who asked him to go with them. He went to see his new school today, they offered for him to visit his class and stay for a while. He ran straight in, sat down and started showing a kid he didnt know his toy cars. He stayed an hour and a half!!

 

We mentioned this all to his paediatrician last week, he said he wanted to refer him for detailed assessment asap for ASD but didnt comment on the fact that he's overly sociable so now confused!

 

thanx

 

I think the jury is well out. I have had so many issues with support and educationalists over the years throwing PC garbage at me about 'integration' and 'social interactions with peers' to last me 4 lifetimes, what part of Autism do they not understand ? Some of our kids simply do not relate properly to any other area on a meaningful relationship scale, at best it has to be on THEIR terms not anyone else's. If it isn't they stress or refuse. I think integration is basically the excuse they use to force our kids to take 3rd rate education in bog standard schools with an annex stuck on. Sporting activity was horrendous for my child, another 'concept' they deemed he would benefit from and 'mix with others', using 'team' approaches, of course doomed to failure at day one. My son has never done anything within any team. There were disabled children in wheelchairs, blind, some deaf, others with MH problems, children with no disability issue but problem parents who just ran around yelling at everyone, there wasn't a hope in years that would function for mine, and he went once and refused ever to go again. I had to agree with him. I asked any other brilliant ideas, and they said no, because integrated social areas is a law or something, tell THAT to some of our kids see how far you get. Frankly I don't with the best will in the world, see that putting our children solely in disability mixed areas like that IS integration, it is segregation, but realistically doesn't work.

[lisac]

I totally agree MelowMeldrew, particularly this bit ' I think integration is basically the excuse they use to force our kids to take 3rd rate education in bog standard schools with an annex stuck on'. 20 yrs ago when my son started education i niavely believed he would go somewhere with therapies and programmes that would 'un-autistic' him / work the autism out of him. Hahaha @ me

[MelowMeldrew]

I totally agree MelowMeldrew, particularly this bit ' I think integration is basically the excuse they use to force our kids to take 3rd rate education in bog standard schools with an annex stuck on'. 20 yrs ago when my son started education i niavely believed he would go somewhere with therapies and programmes that would 'un-autistic' him / work the autism out of him. Hahaha @ me

 

Nearest they get to integration, in a mainstream setting. is the school address is the same. I'm fighting them now to prevent them allocating an local college place, it just won't work. he needs specialisation and more support than they could ever give, again, he would just be in some room apart from the rest, so what is their point ? erm.. it is CHEAPER. I am plugging away for an autistic college placement instead, either way I won't agree to integrated college placings. I've told them it not applicable to my child, and unacceptable to me. I won the last placing, I will win the next one too. Let them play politics with someone else.

[Mike_GX101]

I know people with asperger's who are very extroverted. I think the aspergers can cause a block to the social communication even in the extroverts. They will be the ones who kick up the most amount of fuss or make the most amount of noise. They can't help themselves - they will shout in words or in wild whoops. Some aspies are the reverse and will fade into the back but in any social group of aspies you will always have those who are much more extroverted as in any group of people.

 

A lot of the time the personality will find a way to shine through eventually and asperger's is just another hurdle along the way.

[Sa Skimrande]

Why my parents do not accept the diagnosis of ASD is because as a child I was also very outgoing, where now, I'm not.

[MelowMeldrew]

It's important to divorce shyness, and depressions and lack of confidence from Autism diagnosis, or even from people with hearing loss, as this too can affect social relationships, and 'fitting in'. I know people who prefer their own company and do not need anyone else's, and appear quite happy with that, not everyone is a party-goer or follower, some just lead, and others follow, and some just like dogs and cats not people, whatever suits their personality, shouldn't be a subject of "Are they normal or not, autistic or not..". Too many judgemental people about determining a norm that doesn't even exist.

[Soda]

My daughter is sociable, I inappropriately so even with strangers. Desperate to have friends and be friends, in fact anyone who shows interest is straight away her best friend. She struggles with the normal day to day relationships with peers though and if told to go away at playtime she will. We are sometimes v sad because others have sent her away so am trying to teach her what to do when it happens. That will be a ongoing struggle I think....:;

 

[MelowMeldrew]

I saw my son much the same early, on he would approach people after a while, but struggled to interact, the other kids made fun or pushed him, he never attempted it again. Basically he has no inter-peer skill at all, he isn't shy any more, and can come over a a bit aggressive but he would say boo to a goose really. I was on the bus the other day with him and there was a mother with a child sat opposite eating a burger or something, he leaned over and said "Stop eating on the bus !, you will get fat and die.." the boy responded by stopping immediately and his mother looked totally embarrassed, but stopped short of having a go at him, because so many others approved of what my lad said ! If he wants to say something he just will, he doesn't go with the usual social niceties, he has keep things tidy thing going on at present and will stop people in the street if they throw things away and tell them to put it in a bin, I think a job with keep Britain tidy would suit him down to the ground ! I can only hope what he has learnt from us is the basis of good behaviour, seems he tells other people how to behave as well ! Frankly as a young man, he is far better behaved than some 'normal' peers are, who can be rude, abusive, and respect very few others. Sadly his approach is quite risky, because peers attempt to hit him, and I have to step in. He doesn't understand risk management !

[watergirl]

Hi everyone,

 

Wondering weather its possible for someone to be Autistic but sociable too? My son is being refered for Assessment as he shows a lot of ASD traits but the thing that confuses me is that hes sociable, overly so a lot of the time.

 

 

thanx

 

This is something that has caused me a bit of a problem with my friends when I told them of my dx.........several said that I'm very good socially and very outgoing......and didn't believe my dx! I tried to point out that my problem is often knowing the upper limit, if you see what I mean.........I never quite know when to stop, give too much information sometimes, and tend to be rather outrageous occasionally.....and when that happens, I'm out of control, can't stop myself......whereas when I'm withdrawn, nothing will tempt me out!. I wasn't always like this.....quite quiet as a child most of the time....but even then I had my extrovert moments. I made a concsious decision to try and be more outgoing when we moved to a different area when I was 15......I found it was better for me socially....but then I went too far.....I was a nightmare at college, always in trouble for being disruptive. I think of my behaviour over the years as having been a bit like a pendulum that is slowing down with age.......extreme in either direction when younger, but not travellling quite so far either side of what is socially acceptable nowadays most of the time.

So my opinion is that it is possible to be sociable with ASD.

[trekster]

Tony Attwood describes some autisitcs as 'social imitators' ie they pick up some social cues but repeat them parrot fashion. These are often missed for diagnosis or given a 'milder' diagnosis, but their 'pretending to be (so called) normal' is exhausting and unless they have extended downtime (compared to NTs) they can overload.

[Nesf]

I think that you can be sociable and have ASD, many AS people want to be sociable and try to be sociable but lack the skills and intuition to be successful at it, and come across as awkward or a bit odd. As was already pointed out many people with ASD learn to how to act in social situations and suppress / cope with their ASD traits. I can act "normally" but get tired and need to withdraw after a couple of hours, I get stressed and anxious easily and when I'm in this state I'm not as able to control my emotions and impulses, people think I'm weird and unpleasant and avoid me. I have problems socialising, especially in groups because I always feel detached and I'm unable to join in. It's like watching TV. I can never think of anything to say and constantly tuning out and daydreaming - this is the easy option: socialising and talking is a huge effort for me. But everyone's different, and people with ASD have their own personality on top of their ASD traits, so what you get is an interraction between ASD traits and personality.