Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
loulou

PRUs Any experience or advice please?

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

 

I have been a member on this forum for many years, but don't post often as i never get time. My household is so busy!

 

I would really appreciate some advice at the moment.

 

My son is now 14 (he has AS/ADHD). He's been in a residential school for 3 years now. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster (to say the least). He goes through periods of doing well and getting on ok, but other times he's non-compliant, aggressive and refuses to do any work. We've been having problems getting him back to school following weekends home and holidays for some time now.

 

He's been out of lessons since May and has been doing school work in his house-base.

 

However, he has refused to go back to school this term and is at home with me and my 2 little ones.

 

He is clearly depressed and spends nearly all day (and night) on his xbox. It is extremely difficult to get him out of his room, and when he does come out, he torments my 5 year old (to the extent my 5 year old is now significantly suffering at school and home).

 

We have had a multi-agency meeting today, and the LEA are proposing a PRU (pupil referral unit). Apparently they specialise in ASDs. I have HUGE reservations about allowing this, mainly as i feel it's just a "cop out" on their part, ie just putting him there as they don't know what else to do with him. He is very high functioning, but his anxiety and social difficulties really hamper his learning. I don't think a lot of academic learning goes on at the PRU.

Also, it means he will be home every day and weekend. I am struggling with his behaviour at the moment, so i can't see how this option is going to help.

The other reservation i have, is if I allow him to go to the PRU, his out of County placement will be withdrawn. It was a massive battle getting him a place there in the first place. It would be admitting that he doesn't need the 24 hour curriculum residential schools provide.

If the PRU doesn't work out, we'll be back to square one.

 

My head is in such a scramble, i really don't know what to do. I would really appreciate other's views on this please.

 

Loulou.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is the residential school as/asd specific? How do the LA think the PRU is going to suceed where the residential school failed? What expertese/training do the staff at the PRU have?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Kazzen,

Good questions, thank you.

The school he is at is AS specific. The LA told me that the PRU has 60 to 70% of pupils with ASDs, but didn't mention staff training.

Apparently they try to engage the kids in learning through their interests. Apart from xbox, my son has none!

Being at the PRU will not help with the problems at home and if he doesn't like it there, he'll just refuse to go.

It sounds to me that the PRU is just a dumping ground and a way for the LA to save money.

I'm so stressed about this!

Loulou x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is your son under CAHMS or on medication?

What is the special school saying?

What is your son saying that he finds difficult in school?

 

I agree with you that the special school should be more qualified and have more experience of his needs. And like you say he needs to be residential. PRU looks like a step down [but probably cheaper for the LA]

 

If he is not on medication I would suggest giving that a go, along with his current school offering something additional - which might be additional breaks, OT, anything really. I would have thought they would be fighting to keep him there. Do they have any ideas of what is causing him these upsets?

 

If he gets very upset with change, then the new school year will have been very difficult with him if his teacher and class mates and therapy team have changed.

 

My son is on medication for anxiety and it has helped. I would not like him to be on it permanently. But he was out of school for about a year and gets very worked up about things. He also has OCD.

Edited by Sally44

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

His special school really want him back, but they can't force him so we are stuck. The Head is sending a couple of care workers to our house any day now, as a last attempt to get him to go back (they are 2 workers who he really likes, so they're just coming to "visit" him, not to put any pressure on him).

He has been on Concerta for his ADHD since he was 6, but he stopped taking it back in May. To be honest, his ADHD has calmed down quite a bit and he seems to manage without the meds. The school Psych wanted to put him on anti-depressants for his anxiety back in July, but he wouldn't agree to it as he thought it was a conspiracy to make him like the school and want to be there :( .

He seems to have a big problem with some of the other boy's "oddities" and he gets fixated on their strange behaviours, saying they are "weird" and "retarded". I think he is struggling to accept his diagnosis and he says "You may as well kill yourself when you get diagnosed with autism" :crying: . It's just so sad seeing him like this.

The therapy team (at his school) have been trying to work with him on this, but they are having trouble engaging him. We are currently waiting for a local CAMHS appointment.

I just feel so distrustful of the LA, as i know they are trying to get all of the "out of county" children back, to save money.

Loulou x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is worth finding out more about the PRU, but I would guess that they have 60+% of children with ASD just because it is the easy option if they cannot cope in mainstream, not because it is the right place for them to be.

 

Do check if the PRU placement would be full-time, as round here it usually is only for a few half day sessions per week. Check what training/expertese the staff have in AS/ADHD. Check what curriculum they offer (full range of subjects/Chance to take exams? Social/living/independence skills? Also check if he would stay there til 16. You also need to be thinking about what will happen at 16+.

Round here the PRUs are supposed to be short term pacements while preparing the child to return to mainstream or to find a more suitable placement - when the LA use them for long term placements, the PRU are not happy.

 

I find it hard to believe that the PRU would be better than a specialist residential school, but I suppose it would be better than him being out of school completely if you could get him to go there. Personally, I would be looking at solving the issues at his current school or looking for a more suitable specialist school (Have you looked at Breckenbrough School in N Yorks?).

 

I would also attempt to get him to try anti-depressants, even if he only agrees to try them for 3 months. When you are depressed, you do not believe that anything will help, but medication helped my son through a bad patch.

 

It is worth noting that you say he came off his ADHD meds in May and also that he stopped going to lessons in May - maybe he does need those meds - maybe it is the depression that is masking the ADHD behaviours? Would he agree to try taking them again for a while?

Edited by Kazzen161

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi

 

Could it be that the residential school is for more severe end of the spectrum than where he is? Just going by his comments. I worked in a resi school fo 3 weeks as part of my placement and whilst I think there is not much difference between those on the lower end compared to my boys on the higher end,I really doubt I could ever send my boys' to that kind of school. It was hard for the children who were quieter to actually gain any sort of education or even structure to the day as there would be at least three major incidents where staff or other pupils were hit then the whole lesson/s would be disrupted.

 

As mentioned the PRU may be a good option at least to get him out of the house for a bit and have more structure to his day and prehaps he will meet others tht are at same end of the spectrum. My 9yr old attends an ASD unit at mainstream and it is definatley the best option for him,the boys in his class are all similar to him and they have the same rules etc to follow,they are also more able to control certain behaviours compared to those on the lower end of the spectrum as they can communicate when someone is annoying them. As long as the staff are trained to work with children with ASD then it may be ok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would talk with the school therapy team and see what they can offer him in terms of extra support and reduced timetable. My son started at his new school on just two afternoons a week. He spent that time just with therapy staff and did not have any contact with any of the other kids.

 

And find some way of getting him to take the medication using rewards.

 

Are the children at this school of a similar cognitive level to your son?

 

The therapy team need to work with him about other kids and how they can be different and how they can have difficulties and that applies to any school.

 

Remember you won't find a 'perfect' school. And he must know that too. But one where he feels able to cope. If he isn't coping in residential school I think he could be even worse in a school where the children are there due to greater difficulties with compliance and there could be pupils that disrupt the lessons every day. That isn't going to do anything for his anxiety.

Edited by Sally44

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm trying to edit my post and it won't let me.

 

Just wanted to add that you should go back to CAHMS and see what medication they recommend, and then use rewards so that he is given one each time he is in school at the end of the school day.

 

My son gets a yugioh or pokemon card every day.

 

But if his anxiety/depression is not addressed, then he will be the same whatever the placement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

Thanks for your replies :) . I'm just finding this whole thing so confusing. I really don't know what's best for him.

 

Justine1, the boys at his current school are all high functioning, but my son will pick out any "odd" behaviours that they display. He does say he can't stand being in class when they're all kicking off (although he does it too sometimes). I really think he is struggling to accept he has AS and he doesn't want to talk about it either.

 

Hopefully we'll get a CAMHS appointment soon and he can get some medication. Staying in his room 24/7 is not helping him at all.

 

I have found another AS residential school (even further than away than his current one though), but the LEA wouldn't even discuss it at the meeting. They just kept plugging the PRU, which is what made me very suspicious about their motives.

 

I have just told him that 2 care workers from his school are coming to visit him tomorrow and pick up his school work (of which he hasn't done any!). This is their last attempt to try and see if they can get him to go back.

 

Fingers crossed,

 

Loulou.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I presume he was not coping in mainstream?

 

Would he agree to go and look at the PRU? Because if he won't even visit it, or have a trial period of 3 days there, then nothing is resolved is it. And I think you've also said there are reasons why he needs to be residential, which he cannot be in the PRU.

 

I would not agree to a change of placement. If he is depressed he is ill. And so his placement should remain the same until that is resolved. If he had broken a leg and was off school due to that, they would not be recommending a change of school would they.

 

But to show you are open to other ideas you can agree with the LA to go with your son to visit the PRU. If he refuses, then there is no way any SEND Panel would agree to that change of placement.

 

See what the residential school can offer. As I said above, my son did not go into any classes or meet any other child for some months. Our priority was to get him into the school building, and his time there was spent doing things he enjoyed doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Sally,

 

Thanks for your reply, it's really helpful. My son has not been is mainstream since he was 5. He didn't cope at all and was at home with me for 18 months, then he went to an EBD school from the age of 7 to 10. I had to fight to get him out of the EBD school and to a specialist residential AS school as he was so stressed with the disruptive behaviour and wasn't coping with the transition from school to home.

This is why i find it so ridiculous for the LEA to think he is suddenly going to cope with going to this PRU and back home again everyday. Also, he is unmanageable most of the time at home, so i really don't see it working. My poor 5 year old has suffered from the constant emotional abuse my 14 year old has inflicted on him. Not to mention my deteriorating mental health (i'm doing all of this on my own).

Two care staff from his school came today and talked to him for 1 1/2 hours. They got nowhere, he is adamant he is not going back.

I have decided to get some legal advice, as i think the LEA are going to be extremely difficult about this. I'm sure they have decided that he will go to the PRU. I have even asked for S Services to make an assessment with the regards to the risk he poses to my little ones. I'm still undecided about visiting the PRU. I know i should be seen to be working with them, but on the other hand, if i visit, it's like saying my son doesn't need residential care anymore.

I just feel so awful :crying: :crying: :crying:

Loulou x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If mainstream and EBD did not work, then I can't see how they can suggest PRU!

 

Your difficulty is how to get him back into a school eventhough he is refusing.

 

Have you spoken with somewhere like IPSEA or Network81.org

 

As awful as it sounds, it is almost like you need him to be taken back against his will, because you cannot continue with him at home. And the only other option to that is for him to be in care and go to some kind of day school. But i'm sure you already know that isn't going to work. But I don't know how you do it ie. refuse to have him at home.

 

He cannot continue to cause such problems to your other children and you cannot cope with him at home anyway. I don't know what steps you need to take. But i'm sure they are going to be difficult ones for you. So I would recommend you get some advice from those organisations. Remember that there are other children and families like yours. So they must do something. And I know you must feel like you are abandoning him. But you really do know what is best for him. And I think that any option has got to be residential.

 

What was he like in the residential school? Are the major issues when he comes home. If so, he cannot come home until he is settled into school. But can the school come and take him using physical force? If not can he be admitted to a hospital via CAHMS for them to deal with his depression and anxiety first?

 

I am currently trying to get some residential for my son and the social worker has been helpful. But he has made it very clear to me that because funding is such an issue that it is only those families that literally refuse to have the child in the home anymore, that take priority. So that forces parents to have to demand social services to take them into care.

 

It maybe that when your son sees what the other options are, that he chooses to go back to his school. But he does need his anxiety and depression to be looked at. And that may involve having him sectioned [or whatever you have to do with a minor].

 

I can't imagine how you are feeling. But you've got to be strong and do what is the best for you and all your children. You cannot sacrifice one for the other.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

Thank you for your reply. You have summed it up exactly.

I've been trying to get through to IPSEA but the line is always busy. I'll keep trying.

His school have said they can't physically force him to go back, so that's not an option (i so wish it was). I have told my son that any alternative might be worse and all he can say is "oh well". He really hasn't taken any of this on board.

He has been at his school for 3 years. His behaviour has been very up and down over this time. Sometimes he is fine and gets on with his work and joins in with the others. Other times he completely withdraws or becomes very disruptive, abusive, destructive and violent (to staff).

I have to seriously consider what is best for the whole family. It's very difficult, as i feel so sorry for him. I can't carry on like this much longer though.

We have a CAMHS appointment, but not for another month. Hopefully the ed psych will be able to pull some strings and get it brought forward. I dread to think what sort of state he will be in if another month goes by.

On a positive note, he did have a shower today and even let me wash his hair (a miracle!). Then he came to pick up my little one from school. This is the first time he has got dressed and left the house for over a month. It was lovely.

Loulou x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you need to ask CAHMS what your options are.

I think he may need medication if he is anxious/depressed as that might resolve alot of his anger issues too.

But you also need to know what you can do if you cannot have him at home any longer, he is still anxious and not well, and cannot be forced back into school.

 

I know some forum members have had to have their child hospitalised to get them stable.

 

I was told by CAHMS and ClinPsych to take my son to A&E if he attempted to kill himself again, or we could not cope with him. We never had to do that - but that is probably the kind of thing you will be advised to do.

 

Also with the social worker, they said they only really step in when a family gets to the point when they phone them to come and take their child into care - or they take the child to SS and leave them there.

 

I must admit I had a number of times when I seriously considered taking my son to hospital and leaving him with the Clinical Psychologist. But again, those were very bad days, and fortunately usually only one or two days long. If it had gone on longer I would not have been able to continue.

 

So get their opinions and advice verbally and also ask them to put them in a letter to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Sally44,

 

I was thinking about hospital too. There is an adolescent inpatient provision in our county and i've also found a Priory one that sounds really good. I think the referral has to come from CAMHS, so hopefully we'll get our appointment moved forward.

I have also felt like dropping my son off with SS or CAMHS before too. On really bad days it takes every ounce of my strength to keep going. I have been doing this for the past 10 years or so though, and now i'm really struggling.

Loulou xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well you need to lay it on the line with CAHMS and say that your son needs to get settled and stabalised and MUST be somewhere residential as you cannot continue any longer.

But you may to get to a stage where you do say enough is enough. Because we often say we cannot take it anymore, but because nothing is provided or offered we just struggle on. If that really is not an option then you have to take the next step.

Are you on any medication as a result of this chronic stress/anxiety?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

Yes i am on medication. I had weaned myself off it earlier this year when things were stable, but have been slowly slipping back down again ever since. I've been on anti-depressants on and off for the last 8 years due to the difficulties with my son. I have been unable to work for nearly 2 years now too.

You are so right about just struggling on. I have done it so many times but somehow managed to continue as us parents do. Now i'm at a stage where i can't physically or emotionally meet my son's needs anymore. Not because of my depression, but because he is too complex for one person alone to cope with. He needs professional help.

I'll be making more calls tomorrow.

Loulou x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...