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kerrie

my child cant sleep

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hi, just wondered if anyone had any advise on how to help my child sleep. hes always been a terrible sleeper and he is just not growing out of it but is getting worse. once he is asleep you dont hear anything from him other than the odd time he sleepwalks and talks. but he really struggles to fall asleep. im lucky if he is asleep before half 10. he is just turned 8 and can handle getting up for school still in the morning. i have chjanged his routine and tried everything, took the tv off lights on lights out reading etc. he explains to me that he hates night time and winter is 10 times worse due to the noises and dark nights. i dont exactly know what it is that is keeping him awake as he refuses to tell me, but he does give odd clues sometimes. he says its his thinking. he says his thoughts keep him awake.i think he thinks to much and is very anxious. any noises make it worse.

i really am at a loss with him at the minute. any suggestions would be appreciated.

thanks. xx

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My lad used to have a lot of problems falling asleep, he still does really but not so bad. When he was younger I found the only thing that helped him fall asleep was for him to lie on his front and for me to place my hand very firmly on his back. I didn't pat or rub his back, just lay my hand on him and in a few minutes he'd be asleep. Before I tried this, I used to sit with him for ages trying to sooth him and relax him but it didn't help at all, it was only when I pressed my hand onto his back that it calmed him. Maybe it just made him feel secure, I don't know but it did work for us.

 

~ Mel ~

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I struggle to sleep because my brain won't switch off. It's always been like this. Usually, I find that listening to an audio book helps, because I think in words, and the brain struggles to process more than one verbal input at a time. Therefore if I can keep reminding myself to focus on the audiobook instead of my thoughts, it generally helps. When I'm really stressed though, my own "thoughts" drown out the audiobook and I have to, for example, count proper nouns, or verbs, or adjectives, as they are spoken on the CD, in order to keep me focussed on it (levels of processing etc). I put "thoughts" in quotation marks because a lot of the time I'm not consciously thinking about stuff. Thoughts, ideas, conversations, narrations sort of occur to me as I'm lying there, I don't really feel in control, which can be distressing if it's stuff I don't want to dwell upon. It might be bad memories that have actually happened to me, or just bad ideas, scenarios that seem to have nothing to do with my life, but that upset me. Or it might be totally benign stuff, which holds no emotional meaning for me, like considering the layout of Anglo-Saxon villages (seriously, that's something that once came to mind! Don't ask me why, I hadn't seen anything on tv about it or anything, not that I'd consciously picked up on anyway!). It's like watching a documentary in my head, or listening to a conversation, but I don't actually hear voices in the conventional sense. I think a lot of these "thoughts" are actually "leftover" stimuli from my day to day life that my brain can't process until everything else has stopped and is quiet.

Anyway, I don't know if any of what I've written can give any insight whatsoever into what your son experiences, or whether it's just Ruthy's brain being a bit bonkers :D

I know several people with children on the spectrum who have had varying levels of success with Melatonin, which I believe (though could be wrong) is available on prescription from a GP. I don't like to jump in and suggest drugs, but I also know that lack of sleep can make the whole family very unhappy, and sometimes needs must!!

Other things I've tried include: not eating or drinking 3 hours before bed, turning off all electrical equipment at least an hour before bedtime, not actually going to bed until my eyelids are drooping, even if I'm really tired, incorporating more high protein foods into my diet (turkey and tomatoes contain something which promotes good sleep apparently), meditation... Varying levels of success with all of these, to be honest :)

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now :)

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We have this problem with our 4 year old, he is awake untill 12.30pm some nights and its exhausting as we have to keep going in to try and get him in to bed with lights off (we keep a night light on though), he jumps out again usually and turns light back on and continues playing. some nights hes up untill 12, then wakes up at 6am! means hes extra hard work then during the day... We have had to put an extra tall stair gate across his door, before this was up he would let him self out of his room 20+ times a night. Me and my partner were EXHAUSTED because it went on untill 12pm, we had no free time to rest in the evenings at all. If you find a solution please let me know!! good luck :)

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Hi

 

I had terrible time with Dan(6) from when he was 18mths until age 5. Dan would go sleep just fine,then two hours later would wake up crying then ttake another two hours to go back to sleep,this would happen 3-4 times in a night. Some nights he would wake and just not go back to sleep and still have plenty energy during the day. We found out he had hypermobility syndrome which was mostly why he would wake,he did'nt want to play or anything he was just in constant pain. During his diagnosis we were given melatonin(slow release) this helped alot but I stopped using it a few months later and somehow he has not had any problems since,except that he does get up at 5am.

 

My youngest boy Elijah(4) has the same problem,until my daughter was born 7mths ago he would come into our bed in the middle of the night. He then seemed to be ok for awhile but for about two months he comes in with his duvet and sleeps on our bedroom floor. He is a very light sleeper to. He has always got up at 6am since he was about a month old! Luckily I have to leave home for placements at 6.30am,but I very rarely get more than 5hrs sleep...and thats broken sleep!

 

Seems you are doing everything right with removing any stimuli such as telly etc. Maybe you could speak to whoever disgnosed him?

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I have been reading a alot about weighted blankets recently. Apparently they help with people who are over stimulated like ASD, ADHD etc.

Also it can work with reguar insomnia. It makes people feel more secure/ able to sleep.

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I used to sleep rolled up in the duvet, as close to the wall as possible, and I used to love sleeping in sleeping bags that I could burrow down in. Have you seen those sleep tunnel things you can get from Ikea? I'm not sure how they attach to the bed, but since I saw them a few years ago I've kind of wanted one, even though I'm supposed to be a grown up :whistle:

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