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matzoball

Bit lost.

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I was made redundant last week after 2 years of working.

 

I was waiting for nearly 3 months to hear whether there would be redundancies or not, during that time my sleep pattern and routine was messed up quite a bit.

 

Now I have no routine and I don't really have a sleeping pattern anymore.

 

Does anyone have any recommendations for establishing a new routine?

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I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I really struggle without a routine. In my last big depression I made a long list of just "things I could do" to pass the time. These ranged from productive things, like housework, going for a walk (though I was struggling to leave the house at the time), reading etc, all the way through to maladaptive coping strategies, like binge-eating / drinking (NB: I'm not saying these are good things to do, but writing them down on paper helped me acknowledge that yes, sometimes I do want to do these things, or not want to, but when all else fails, I don't know what else to do). This list is still on my fridge and I refer to it when I feel a bit lost. Other items include painting my nails (not that I care about them really, but it kills some time!), reading, cooking, having a bath / shower, doing a crossword etc.

From this, I then began to look at things I hope to achieve every day, every week, every month etc (though a month is a bit too daunting for me to cope with usually!). Again, I made lists and ticked things off as I did them. Some days, the best I can manage is getting out of bed and brushing my teeth. So that's my status quo, but at the moment I'm achieving much more than that, but so long as I only expect myself to get up and brush my teeth, anything else is a bonus! Now I have a weekly tick chart entitled "Today I can be proud of my self because I have...." - some of the things are: controlling my eating / drinking / not drinking at all, self-care, showering, reading for 10mins, playing my flute or guitar for 10mins, eating my 5 a day, leaving the house, socialising, exercising.... I don't reliably do them all every day, but when I am, I know it'll be time to make a new chart. I'm all about visual reminders of what I've done :)

 

When I had some CBT recently, the guy had me make lists of things I do for pleasure, things which I find mediumly difficult, and things I really struggle with, and I had to try to do something off the medium list each week. It didn't work quite so well for me though because even though I really struggle with making phone calls, for example, often I will force myself too, even though it makes me miserable and anxious. He didn't seem to understand that, it was more "well you did it, so what's the problem?" - he didn't seem to recognise the emotional toll it took on me to do it, or the fact that if I just didn't do it, I'd feel horrendously guilty, so I was stuck between a rock and a hard place :s

 

Anyway, I find that starting with a general list, then shaping that list into a structured timetable works pretty well for me. And laminating things to stick on the fridge, I love doing that, too :)

I also get email reminders from a thing called OhLife, which prompt me to write a diary entry each day, and I chronicle what I've achieved. In each email it says "Remember this? A month / week ago, you wrote..." and I can see how I was doing then compared to now.

Good luck! :)

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Double post, sorry

Edited by rufusrufus

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Matzoball I would say try an follow your old routines as much as possible. It is unfortunate about the redundancy but I would work hard at keeping up to speed in your own specialist area. I think when we are in work we often think a lot of the things we get asked to do are pretty boring and hope something more interesting will come along.

 

I think now might be the time to set yourself a couple of the projects which you wished had come along whilst you were getting paid.

 

I have to be honest I have started to reach the stage where I would rather design in my own interest areas than be paid to design for others on things that don't really interest me. But I do know I need to have all the discipline I had before and then some to be productive. I still get up and keep time sheets about my work and expect it to always be of a professional standard. What I have found is that if you get the self motivation levels right it is a great time to learn new skills and try new things because there is no pressure of deadlines only the ones you place onto yourself.

 

I have found in semi retirement it takes a fair amount of effort to keep things at the same level but it can be done. If someone offered me a job tomorrow I know I am up to speed and could slot back in.

 

I hope there is something just around the corner for you but make sure you are in a good position when that opportunity arrives.

 

Just a few thoughts.

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I just wanted to say i'm sorry to hear you were made redundant.

Did you get any redundancy pay?

How did they decide who was to go - was it last in first out?

 

Having been a "home maker" for a number of years I agree with what Lancslad has said. You can all too easily find that because there is no 'time limit' that you have to complete things by, that things start to take longer and longer to do.

 

Having a holiday is lovely, but living like that all the time is really quite boring.

 

Whilst you are looking for work, is there anything new you would want to learn about, or any area you would like to volunteer in? These things can keep you active and connected to the wider world, and it always looks better on a CV to be able to say that you did x, y and z.

 

I do hope you find something in the near future.

 

 

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Thanks - I got a final pay but wasn't eligible for redundancy as I haven't been there long enough. Everyone has been made redundant so it's not just me.

 

I'm already baking for a charity event and I already volunteer for Oxfam at weekends - I'm going to register with an employability service on monday and see what they can do for me.

 

Thanks for all the kind words xx

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