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warrenjay01

Hi everyone(new here)

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Hi everyone,my name is cliff from essex and we have just had my son(warren-jay) of 11 years old diagnosed with ASD,This was a shock to us as we did not even know anything about it,we just thought he has lazy ,quite ,shy ,made his silly noises but when he had appointment,they had diagnosed him within 2 hrs,i am interested in what experiences everyone shares and would like to chat with people in the same boat,i have read a few of the post in these forums and can relate to them now,but being honest i would never of thought it was ASD,But that was me being narrow minded,not knowing what it was,i always associated Autism with things like rainman(the film),i wont pretend i know now as i dont and im still trying to get my head around it,He dont make friends,he likes to be on his own,he likes to go out as a family unit,but will not go out on his own,not even to the park,so i thank you for creating this forum

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Hi Cliff. I'm Carolyn and I'm new too. My 8 year old son is in the process of being diagnosed with Aspergers. The doctor spotted it straight away and school agree it's Aspergers so hopefully formal diagnosis will be quite straight forward. I'm sure we'll get lots of useful information here :)

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Hi,

I had the Rainman stereotype as well, i had considered ASD for myself before my son was born but it is very hard to relate to text books that are so 'black and white' about a condition. Your son is a child, an individual with desires and needs like anyone else- just probably a little more specific on what they are! It took an outsider to help me to realise that I was ASD and then clearly my son who is 7, he has also just been diagnosed. Hope you come to understand ASD and how it affects your son, a diagnosis is the first step.

 

It is just who he is, not wrong, just different.

 

Starlight :)

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Hi, I'm sure there are lots of people here who would be happy to share their stories with you if it would help to hear from adults who have aspergers. It's interesting that you never really guessed before. High functioning means that you have learned to hide your differences, sometimes or most of the time, everybody's different. You learn ways around your difficulties and precise ways of coping with the over stimulation and confusion you find around you in what seems to be a very strange world. Basically, the older you get, the better you get at it too so it'll more than likely be less obvious still as he grows up. Personally, my childhood, teenage years and early 20's were hard, trying to figure it all out and find my place in the world, social issues, obsessions, depression, anxiety, but now i'm really settled and am quite an expert at appearing the same as everyone else. I know some people with aspergers grow up as scientists or surgeons because of the high intelligence. I've never been good at keeping jobs to be honest, but i've measured my success in terms of happiness and stability. I have my own family and have a pretty normal life. My parents are really proud of me. Autism/aspergers isn't what i thought it would be either...all these years, i never knew that a person with autism was who i was...and i got on alright! It's actually amazing how normal everyone seems on this site. They seem normal because they ARE normal, just a different kind of normal-our normal!!! Smiles!

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Hello and welcome to the forum

 

There are a few parents groups dotted around the country. I'm pleased that you are accepting your son. With regards to friends does it bother him that he's without friends? Some ASDers are fine and happy without friends. i realise it sounds lonely but to him it could be a number of reasons why he prefers to be alone. There might be a social group in your area that takes ASD kids.

 

HTH

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Hi Cliff, just to say my son was assessed for 3 years he was diagnosed when he was around 7... during his time in Nursery and reception he would find it hard being around more than a couple of children...he loved his own company and would play by himself in the corner...this really bothered me and I would cry often thinking he would grow up a loner, withdrawn and isolated but as time went on he started to be more and more relaxed around a small group of children, than a larger group...though he prefers the company of young adults more to children. Having a large extended family has helped as we would take him with us on weekends to visits his uncles and aunties...Over time he has developed strong bonds with children his own age aswell as young adults...his main interests ( cars, gadgets and soccer) have helped him gain more confidence around people...Don't worry he will be fine, without pushing him into uneasy situations try just gentley easing him into playing with a small group of children, it may help him relax if you join in with the fun:)...Gud luck

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Hi, I'm sure there are lots of people here who would be happy to share their stories with you if it would help to hear from adults who have aspergers. It's interesting that you never really guessed before. High functioning means that you have learned to hide your differences, sometimes or most of the time, everybody's different. You learn ways around your difficulties and precise ways of coping with the over stimulation and confusion you find around you in what seems to be a very strange world. Basically, the older you get, the better you get at it too so it'll more than likely be less obvious still as he grows up. Personally, my childhood, teenage years and early 20's were hard, trying to figure it all out and find my place in the world, social issues, obsessions, depression, anxiety, but now i'm really settled and am quite an expert at appearing the same as everyone else. I know some people with aspergers grow up as scientists or surgeons because of the high intelligence. I've never been good at keeping jobs to be honest, but i've measured my success in terms of happiness and stability. I have my own family and have a pretty normal life. My parents are really proud of me. Autism/aspergers isn't what i thought it would be either...all these years, i never knew that a person with autism was who i was...and i got on alright! It's actually amazing how normal everyone seems on this site. They seem normal because they ARE normal, just a different kind of normal-our normal!!! Smiles!

 

I love this post so much, it toally sums up my life!!! :) Well, I don't have my own family, and my Dad is still struggling a little bit with accepting my diagnosis, but I know he loves ME, just not the label. We are normal, just a better kind of normal - I love that :)

OP - best of luck with your son,I hope you find lots of help and support here :)

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Hi Cliff,

My Son is 10 and was dxed with HFA when he was 7. He matches your description of Warren-Jay. I may be wrong, but the real "Rainman" who the film character is based upon isn't autistic. I think he suffered brain damage (saw it on Horizon or a similar prog) and is a savant. Some people with autism can be savants, but I doubt it's common.

My Son is normal as far as I'm concerned, but incompatible with the average child!

I think Adam is adapting (as I think I did) to behave more like the average child, I think it is conscious effort, but he's not desperate. I think he blames the other children at school for being difficult and not adapting to him lol. So self-esteem is OK at the moment :)

I thought of myself as shy growing up, I can't be sure, but I think autistic traits run in my family. A penny dropped when Adam got his dx. I would describe my parents as "socially reticent". My Dad was awesome, but always looked a little uncomfortable in social situations.

I might be rambling here...because communication is not my best skill (I wonder why? lol).

Adam has had some casual friends, but does not have a best mate, yet...

What interests does Warren-Jay have?

BTW, I think my Son is awesome!!!

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You are correct about Kim Peak who died a few years ago he wasn't autistic but brain damaged.

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