Jump to content
shinypanda

Hello - new and in need of advice

Recommended Posts

Hi

 

I have always known there was something different about my son and now that he is 8, and has had a couple of toileting incidents at school, people are finally starting to listen to me. I got very upset one day and went to speak to the school's family liaison person who was really helpful and decided a referral to school health was in order. School health felt that he should be referred to our local Child development centre. He had his initial assessment on Tuesday and the doctor is convinced it is Aspergers and I agree, having now read about it. She now just needs a report from school. I was a little worried about this because previously no one has been able to see what I see because he is a model student and very bright. I shouldn't have been worried though because they have had their eye on him since I spoke to them and they are seeing loads of classic signs and already have a learning plan in place for him. I am really pleased with this because I know a lot of people have trouble getting support from their school.

 

He also has some physical development issues, albeit mild. He still tip-toe walks and has some gross-motor co-ordination problems. He does walk funny and although he doesn't get bullied at the moment, I do worry what will happen as he gets older.

 

I am thinking that now is the right time to introduce him to Aspbergers, even though he doesn't have a final diagnosis yet. He is soon going to wonder why we have these appointments and why he is being taken out of lesson for special one-to-one lessons. I'm not sure how to go about this. He is very bright but doesn't get social stuff. He does worry about things so I want to introduce the subject in a way that he won't worry.

 

I have ordered a mystery book called "Blue Bottle Mystery" by Kathy Hoopmann because he loves reading, especially mysteries. I will read it first to make sure it will be suitable for him.

 

I would really appreciate any advice on the best way to let him know about how he thinks differently from others. I would like his best friend to be able to know too so that he can understand why my son behaves the way he does sometimes. His friend is very bright and very understanding but I think it would be good if he knew. Of course my son needs to know first.

 

Sorry to waffle on. Hopefully someone can advise me :)

 

Thanks :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something clicked in my mind when you said he likes mysteries. Me too. I much preferred finding things out myself instead of being taught, and that's often the key for me in holding my interest....rather than being told what the outcome will be before it's certain, why don't you tell him that you have appointments with people who want to work with him to find out why he has such a clever mind, -why he can think differently. His friend could be told that also. It would be perhaps a half-way point?

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shinypanda,

 

My son is the same- a model student- but that is because he is very self-conscious and doesn't want to draw any attention to himself. He was diagnosed this week and I am also wondering how to explain it to him. It is definitely very important that your son understands as secondary school can be very difficult for a child with ASD. If he at least gets an official diagnosis then he will be able to view events as they are - misunderstandings, saying the wrong thing, friendship difficulties etc. and develop strategies to deal with them Hopefully that will prevent him from developing self-image problems which is even more vital at his age. If I find out a good book or way of telling my son I will let you know.

 

Starlight :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something clicked in my mind when you said he likes mysteries. Me too. I much preferred finding things out myself instead of being taught, and that's often the key for me in holding my interest....rather than being told what the outcome will be before it's certain, why don't you tell him that you have appointments with people who want to work with him to find out why he has such a clever mind, -why he can think differently. His friend could be told that also. It would be perhaps a half-way point?

:)

Great idea Merry- I'll try that myself-I think he would be impressed. Cute baby photo too!

Edited by Starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

My son was a little older (11) when I told him - I tried to make sure I didn't make it a bad thing, just a different way of thinking. He was confused at first, and needed a lot of re-asurance that he still loved him etc.

 

But he is very into his computer, and in looking up AS, he read about some famous alleged Aspies. When he found out the inventor of Pokemon maybe has AS, he was very re-assured. He loves computers and wants to be a computer game inventor himself.

 

I did also buy the book: Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything , by Kenneth Hall - an 8 year old child. He only flicked through it, but his younger brother found it interesting when I read bits out to him .

 

Glad they are putting things in place at school.

 

Diane

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something clicked in my mind when you said he likes mysteries. Me too. I much preferred finding things out myself instead of being taught, and that's often the key for me in holding my interest....rather than being told what the outcome will be before it's certain, why don't you tell him that you have appointments with people who want to work with him to find out why he has such a clever mind, -why he can think differently. His friend could be told that also. It would be perhaps a half-way point?

:)

 

What a wonderful way of explaining it. I will try that with him. He is clever, well above his age, but he finds it difficult sometimes to get out what is in his head.

 

Thanks for your help :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

 

My son was a little older (11) when I told him - I tried to make sure I didn't make it a bad thing, just a different way of thinking. He was confused at first, and needed a lot of re-asurance that he still loved him etc.

 

But he is very into his computer, and in looking up AS, he read about some famous alleged Aspies. When he found out the inventor of Pokemon maybe has AS, he was very re-assured. He loves computers and wants to be a computer game inventor himself.

 

I did also buy the book: Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything , by Kenneth Hall - an 8 year old child. He only flicked through it, but his younger brother found it interesting when I read bits out to him .

 

Glad they are putting things in place at school.

 

Diane

 

Thanks. My son loves computers too so perhaps that is an option to show him how it isn't a bad thing, he just thinks differently. I shall have a look at that book too. If it is a boy the same age it might help him to understand and also help us understand how things are for him in his world.

 

Panda x

Edited by shinypanda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Shinypanda,

 

My son is the same- a model student- but that is because he is very self-conscious and doesn't want to draw any attention to himself. He was diagnosed this week and I am also wondering how to explain it to him. It is definitely very important that your son understands as secondary school can be very difficult for a child with ASD. If he at least gets an official diagnosis then he will be able to view events as they are - misunderstandings, saying the wrong thing, friendship difficulties etc. and develop strategies to deal with them Hopefully that will prevent him from developing self-image problems which is even more vital at his age. If I find out a good book or way of telling my son I will let you know.

 

Starlight :)

 

Thanks Starlight

 

I hope things go well with your son too. It is very reassuring to know there are others out there with AS who have done very well in life and I'm sure, with the right help, our sons will also do well.

 

Panda x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i've always felt 'something different' about me which couldn't explain or sum up which used to confuse and frustrate me endlessly reduce me to tears of thinking 'why me' am i to blame? did i cause this to happen? was i that bad and naughty? it made me question myself in such negative way and light all time which severely impacted my already low levels of self-esteem /confidence which knocked and dragged me down further! i now realise why life was such struggle and manage effectively wasn't stable or balanced all time whatever i did i couldn't get it right and whatever i did or said i just couldn't do it made it life so difficult challenging to say the least! life seems to overwhelm me in so many ways disrupted me however hard i try to work on it and try my hardest to battle against the storm nothing ever seems good enough for me to work through! gets me so upset so tiring and draining try work through all issues raised due to A.S

 

XKLX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

due to physical difficulties of gross motor skills and tip toe walking have you looked into co-morbid linked/connected related condition of Dyspraxia ??? as this may explain his physical issues/struggles he has

 

XKLX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

due to physical difficulties of gross motor skills and tip toe walking have you looked into co-morbid linked/connected related condition of Dyspraxia ??? as this may explain his physical issues/struggles he has

 

XKLX

 

Thanks for that. I shall ask about it at the next appointment :)

 

Panda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there, not wanting to bombard you with terminology etc, but tip-toe walking etc may also be indicative of Sensory Processing Disorder, which is another common co-morbid with ASC's. Anyway, welcome to the forum :)

 

Edit: My head's a bit muddled tonight, having just read "Sensory Integration Disorder" elsewhere on the forum, I'm not sure if that's what I meant, not "Sensory Processing Disorder"... in fact I'm not even sure I didn't just make that term up! :) I'm so sorry! Worth exploring, anyway :)

Edited by rufusrufus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there, not wanting to bombard you with terminology etc, but tip-toe walking etc may also be indicative of Sensory Processing Disorder, which is another common co-morbid with ASC's. Anyway, welcome to the forum :)

 

Edit: My head's a bit muddled tonight, having just read "Sensory Integration Disorder" elsewhere on the forum, I'm not sure if that's what I meant, not "Sensory Processing Disorder"... in fact I'm not even sure I didn't just make that term up! :) I'm so sorry! Worth exploring, anyway :)

 

Thanks for that. It would make sense. He is so fussy about what clothes he will wear, won't let anyone touch his head (haircut time is traumatic at best) and doesn't like certain food textures, noise etc. He got really annoyed with his younger sister when she hurt herself, because she was making too much noise by crying! There was no empathy at that point because he couldn't cope with the crying. The empathy came later once she was quiet again.

 

I will have a look into it and talk to the doctor about it at his next appointment. This is such a minefield!

 

Thanks

 

Panda xxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a minefield, and it must be so overwhelming, but we're all here to help however we can :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...