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tdewar

feeling low and frustrated

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Hi.

 

In the last few days my mood has dropped and have felt low for long periods of time. I have not been able to enjoy anything and seem to have this negative attitude towards everything. I know that these are classic symptoms of depression but let me explain that I have been treated and am on medication to help lift my mood.

 

My sleep pattern is very mixed and in the last 2 days have been going back to bed during the day because I feel lethargic. I don't know if this is to do with my medication but I am currently on prozac 10ml a day and 2 tables of Olanzapine? in the morning and evening.

 

I am also suffering from other problems. I tend to build up my frustration over time and then lose it. A good example was yesterday when I was feeling very uptight and my personal assistant asked if anything was the matter. I said no, but after she left I rang my mum and when she said something about me being the only person who can improve my socializing and she didn't know what to do I said "Well I might as well just f***ing kill myself then!" I then threw things across the room and damaged my iphone out of fury, I then laid there sobbing uncontrollably on the floor.

 

I am on a college course at the moment but there is this girl who recently joined my class who I want to talk to but am too nervous or have this fear i will say something wrong. I know I should just do it like my parents say but I am ###### when it comes to socializing with the opposite sex. Most of my friends are male who have already have had a relationship. Jesus I can't even talk to them let alone have a relationship!!!

 

I also LOATHE Facebook. People hardly ever talked to me or liked any of my posts and most of my "friends" wouldn't talk to me, I have been off and on (I have deactivated me account numerous times including today) and when I see other people posting other people's photos and talking with their friends I feel left out. It was like nobody cared what I had to put. I don't care that I'm not on. If it upsets me then it's not worth it,

 

I hardly go out and am very nervous of any social situation. I tried driving tests but failed 5 times and the last one was a disaster. I was so upset I literally had to have my driving instructor who was sitting in the back to drive me back to the test centre. Again I had a blowout of my frustration after failing so many times.

 

I tend to feel most depressed when I am on my own. I feel isolated and lonely. I even think I'm a waste of space.

 

My memory is also bad. I can barely remember the past and am always forgetting where I've put things.

 

I seriously cant see where my life is going. Everyone says I am improving but I really don't see it. I don't feel like going to college tomorrow. I don't see the point. I feel my life is pointless. What sort of life is it when I'm feeling very low and not enjoying anything and having blowouts and feeling ###### afterwards.

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Hi, I am really sorry to hear how you are feeling at the moment. Have you been on prozac long? I wonder if the dosage isn't high enough for you or that you are on the wrong medication. I would go back and see your doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling. Also ask to be referred to a psychologist, it might help to talk to someone like that.

 

Is there a particular hobby you have, if so could you concentrate on that hobby to take your mind off how you are feelig? Have you any family members/special friends you can talk to? I think you would feel much better in yourself if you can talk to someone. Let us know how you get on please. Take care :-)

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Hi Tdewar,

 

Welcome to the forum...my heart goes out to you, please don't give up on life, its hard for everyone out there...sometimes when we're depressed everything looks bleak and negative, like Jeanne said maybe your meds need alittle adjusting, it can time to have the meds just right for them to work ...we're all here you're most welcome to offload on anything that bothering you and we will try and help...You're in the right place...keep writing:)

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i can totally empathise with how you feel as i have been on/off with depression since my early teens (14 yrs old) i also get times where get in floods of tears sob for hours non stop and break things with anger & frustration i have tried many different types of anti-depressants meds since 14 and now on parexotine (30mg) i take in morning! i myself get to point/stage where my mood drops and feel like stopping my daily routine completely when i was at college and now at work sometimes feels like i have push/force myself otherside i run and hide from the world and shut down as so easy option to take when things get too much/overwhelming maybe go back talk to your doctor get your PA go with you for bit emotional /moral support and explain how your mood getting worse maybe they'll decide to up your dosage or adjust the meds to something else i have used exercise to help relieve tensions/stress/anxiety and up my mood !!! i also have awful bad memory due to dyspraxia forget where put my stuff or lose stuff all time or misplace so annoying

 

XKLX

Edited by smileyK

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Hi tdewar, you sound very much like my son (you even look like him!). He is nearly 19 and in the same position as you and I know it isn't easy. I try to tell him that it won't always be like this, that it will pass, like everything must, but I know that's not easy to hear when you're young. My lad doesn't have any friends at all, so you are a lot better off than him if you have some friends. Do you go out with your friends much? I agree with SmileyK, that exercise is very good, have you thought of jogging or swimming, maybe setting yourself a goal to work towards that you can achieve and make you feel good that you have done something. Some of what you say sounds like depression, but I think a lot of it is also very typical of young people. My lad always seems to feel that everyone else is out there having non-stop parties while he is stuck in his room, but it isn't true really, most young people feel rotten every now and then. I know that doesn't help you now, but it's maybe a small comfort to know that you will feel better and will come out of this period.

 

All the best and keep on keeping on.

 

~ Mel ~

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If you don't find the Prozac is helping, then go back to the person who prescribed it to see if something else might be better. My son tried Prozac, but it didn't help. Sertraline did seem to help.

 

I also find that my son, and many who post on this forum, are so hard on themselves, so judgemental and critical of themselves. This is a really negative way to be and repeatedly thinking those things feeds into the negative mood. Try to be your own best friend. Even an earthworm has a useful purpose in life - and I think most people would agree that they are above an earthworm! Try to do things you enjoy, and things that make you laugh - even if that is just watching a comedian you like. Exercise is good for general mood. Cut yourself some slack.

 

For times when you are feeling really nervous about talking to someone, remember that it is alot easier to ask them a question. People like to talk to people that are interested in them. You don't need to talk about yourself or 'sell' yourself. Take an interest in them, listen to what they say and ask them more questions. Give a compliment. Or just say Hi and smile.

 

All these things are hard to do, but like most things, the more you do them the more you feel comfortable doing it.

 

I've done a number of things in my life that are out of my character. Just recently my husband and I have opened our own Bakery. I am not a natural 'people person', but I am now dealing with the public every day. I actually acquired some of these skills when I was living abroad, in Greece, and my job was as a legal secretary. I got a repetitive strain injury and eventually had to leave that job as it did not get better. That left me with the choice of returning to the UK or getting a different kind of work. As Greece is a tourist destination, I got a job as a Holiday Representative and Tour Guide. I did it just to survive, and it did not come naturally. BUT I did it, and I think I got better at it over time - although I will admit I was never as good as those people that were 'natural salespeople'. That experience, along with other things, has enabled me to do what I am doing today.

 

Self loathing, which is what you are describing about yourself, does not help at all. It makes you feel worse.

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