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New, confused and worried

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Hi everyone,

I'm Gemma, I'm 18. I live in the south of England and have only just been diagonised with Aspergers. Before that I hadn't heard of it. I'm still trying to get my head round it and worried what it will do to my future. It would be great to make new friends and maybe something more, if I'm that lucky (which I doubt I am)

Any tips, advice or just someone nice to talk to will be much appreicated

Thanks guys

Gemma Kleeman

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Hi Gemma, welcome to the forum.

 

Try not to let the diagnosis worry you. You've had Aspergers all your life so nothing has changed there. If you have any issues which trouble you, then looking at them from this new perspective should be more productive. There are a lot of helpful people here who are living and/or working with this condition.

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Hi Raydon,

I don't want it to effect my life but I know it will. I read a stat that said only 15% of people with ASD are in full time employment, whcih worries me because I want to work in the music industry but I know it's hard for non ASD let alone an "aspie" such as myself

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ASD is a huge spectrum, Aspergers is a small subset. There are alot of undiagnosed adults out there in full time work (I'm one of them) who don't appear on any stats, so I think that 15% is misleading. The creative side of the music industry is a good place to be, not necessarily financially, but there are a lot of musicians and artists on the spectrum, I'm sure you can relate to.

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hi gemma

 

i was 14 yrs old when i was officially diagnosed with AS i'm also a female ... the tips or advice i'd have for you is to research knowledge /information on A.S through reading sources on here ( the net) great sites forums like here! lol :P and also books from library as help you have more an insight into AS what this means to you! how can relate to this through experiences/situations have you looked into NAS website for more information???

 

good luck & welcome on here!

 

XKLX

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Hey

I have already tried my local library and they had some but they were all "missing" -_- typical!

I have had a look on there only breifly tho as I volunteer a lot so I am very busy with it :D

Thank you for your welcome :)

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can your library not order in from else where local? so don't miss out on reading up about it?! i used to volunteer done lot of volunteering and really enjoyed doing used get fed up after while bored but after volunteering for few months at local nursery got offered a job as bank staff so well pleased /chuffed now been there 3 years and love every minute of my job it's a dream hard damn work lot of time! like being accepted as a team and they supportive/understanding girlies i work with so i'm blessed lucky really!

 

i was going give up volunteering position at nursery but my parents encouraged me keep at it will work out right and they was right! i now on annual contract part time lunch time supervisor an hour 5 days a week and get paid hols and sickness pay as with council! bonus! where do you volunteer at? do you enjoy it there? good experience! i'm glad i didn't give in or up when i did as who knows what happened or where would have been in right mess looking for a job!

 

XKLX

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I'm won't I will get those books one way or another XD I volunteer at my local British Heart Foundation (BHF) I have been there just over a month and I get paid sundays but I'm so bored and not enjoying it as it's not one of my special interests (music and tattoo's mainly but mostly metal music). I want to leave but I'm only staying cos I get paid and tbh I need the money

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Hi Raydon,

I don't want it to effect my life but I know it will. I read a stat that said only 15% of people with ASD are in full time employment, which worries me because I want to work in the music industry but I know it's hard for non ASD let alone an "aspie" such as myself

 

Welcome

 

Jahmene Douglas is an aspie 'X factor' contestant, his facebook page contains inspirational quotes.

 

What i didn't realise until recently is that 'part time work' = at least 16 hours a week. You like metal music and song writing also noticed an X box, unsure if you have tried 'guitar hero'? It could give you good practice for playing or tuning or just chilling out. When i sing to an extent i concentrate on the song and my problems are in the background.

 

i got my diagnosis in my late teens. Unfortunately the family are really bad at accepting how my diagnoses and other disabilities affect me. The constant shouting at me from an early age gets me on edge. i hope your family and friends accept you for who you are?

 

I've got some great friends some are on here others i meet up with regularly as part of my volunteer work at social groups for ASD folk. A google search of " 'name of your county' + aspergers " could bring up local support groups or even a social group in your area.

 

There are excellent books (IMHO) from authors such as Wendy Lawson, Olga Bogdashina and one by Dinah Murray called 'coming out Asperger'.

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My friends seem to be more accepting than my parents, which isn't helpful as most of my mates are at uni and I spemd most of my time at home. I do play guitar hero along with many other games. I am the same in regards to shouting so y defense barriers go up almost immediately

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Hello! I wouldn't let your diagnosis put you off re the music industry... I have spent a lot of time in and around the metal scene for years up until last year and I don't think having Aspergers was a huge disadvantage. Granted I mostly did photography, with some interviewing etc. If music is your passion you'll find a way to make it work :)

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Hi Raydon,

I don't want it to effect my life but I know it will. I read a stat that said only 15% of people with ASD are in full time employment, whcih worries me because I want to work in the music industry but I know it's hard for non ASD let alone an "aspie" such as myself

 

Hi

 

I am in full time employment. I was diagnosed at 23, got a 25 hour job at 24 on a temp contract and spent the next few years contract and job-hopping to stay employed in the organisation because it suited me and now at 27 am on a permanent contract and working towards my dream job.

 

I think the key to dealing with having AS and managing full time employment is to find a job that you enjoy as that eases the burden a bit to balance out the fact that work is usually harder to cope with for us because of the social aspects of working.

 

The huge advantage people with AS have is that often, if we're doing something we enjoy, we can out-perform people who don't have AS because of our greater abilities to focus obsessively, so it's not all bad on the work front. My official job role is very social-focused, but as soon as my employer found out that I had specialist skills in another area she started shifting my job role around so that now I do hardly any of the social aspects and spend a lot of my time blissfully working on databases. You really do never know where a job might lead.

 

Having AS certainly will have affect your life, but it doesn't have to be all bad. It does take a bit of time after diagnosis to re-assess yourself and regain your confidence as getting diagnosed with AS is very much a process of people ultimately saying "you're not so good at these key functions" and working out that a lot of non-AS people aren't so good at those things either, and they seem to get on alright in life! I have better social skills than some of the people in my office and they don't have any excuse!

 

If your current job really doesn't interest you, maybe you could hang on for now (money is money after all) but start looking for a replacement job/voluntary position related to music or some additional training that would help you take the first step into the music industry.

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thanks guys. I am looking at another job in my local tattoo place as a receptionist altho I'm not great with people short convs I can handle and I feel at home in there when I have been in there. It is defiantely one of these things that I am struggling to get my head round and I have never been a confident person anyway. I do love my music it's just trying to my songs that I have done out there when I don't have a band and I am only learning my bass still so it is tough. I would go and do a diploma in music tech but I don't have £5,500 to do it =/

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Can you get funding for a Diploma in Music tech? There is often financial support out there it's just finding it that's the problem.

Your support needs could qualify you for ESA and then once you convince your local job centre that studying music is going to

'be supportive towards work related activity' may then qualify for the discount.

 

To find out more about DLA or ESA try this website;

 

http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/ they can help you word out how to word the applications.

 

For help with college places you would have to contact your local college. Chances are they probably would have heard of autism or Asperger syndrome.

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No the jobcentre won't fund the costs of the course I wish to do I have already tried that one

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Are you on DLA or ESA? If so then at your 'work focussed interview' you can put your case forward about going on the Diploma in Music tech. There is normally a concessions discount, in some cases your 1st full time course at level 3 and considering your recent

diagnosis could work in your favour. Your college would know more.

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I have spoken to my jobcentre and they said they can't do anything to reduce the price -_- but I do have an interview to see if I can get any additional help but that is in 2 weeks time

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you tried ringing NAS to seek employment advice/support maybe to help further where you struggling with JC battling at loggerheads with me as don't understand fully! Have you heard of disability support worker at job centre?

 

good luck! don't ever give up HOPE FAITH! keep your chin up i never thought i'd be 'employable' on any kind of a level now working part time not full-time but i see it as i'm doing something i working not at home doing nothing! just claiming off social!

 

XKLX

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I have an interview with a disability support officer in 2 weeks time so I do have something but I am going to have to wait for it

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Hello Gemma,

 

My names Nims

I had the same problem

And I am kind of coping with it but find it hard

I'm just looking for friends like me

As I find hard making friends

So leave me a note. Thanks.

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