Advice needed after a (dodgy) CAMHS appointment

[naelith]

Hi all, I havent posted much on here before but was wandering if any one has advice regarding camhs.

 

I am fuming after my ds's Camhs appointment today, it started off ok talking about sleep and went on to his still being aggressive at home (this doctor told me to call the police on ds last time I mentioned aggression)

 

Well I was actually really proud of ds as he put his hands up today and said he needed help, he said he knows he overreacts and that he gets upset over things he shouldn't and then hits out but that he can't help it and needs help to stop. The appointment went down hill from there the speciality doctor he sees said to him it's not the family's fault that he is grumpy and he needs to get himself under control needless to say this didn't go down well, and I didnt find the attitude helpful but didnt say anything although to be fair at this point ds was stressed but managed to contain his temper.

 

He then tried to explain his point of view and every time he opened his mouth to speak the doctor interrupted what he was about to say and said no this went on for about five minutes with ds not getting a word in edge ways

 

Ds asked her (in his usual gruff way) to stop interrupting but even as he tried to ask she said no again as he got halfway through the sentance so ds told her to shut up. She told him that was rude and he shot straight back that she was the one who was rude and she put her pad down said 'we are stopping now goodbye' and ushered us out of the room!

 

I know he was rude but I have to agree with ds that she was far ruder, to me cutting someone's sentance short and saying one word 'no' for 5 minutes is the height of ignorance but maybe I'm being a little overprotective?

 

My main issue is the state I had to deal with after the appointment, he was shouting and swearing calling her a ###### and saying next time she comes near him he will thump her in the throat and maybe then she won't interrupt. I really don't want them in the same room again a ds tends to hold grudges and he Is very likely to carry through on his threat if she does this again.

 

I don't know what to do for the best as this is my dd's doctor too

 

Any advice would be appreciated,

[Special_talent123]

OMG you can make a complaint to whos in charge.... could possibly get police involved hence the threats of violence.

[Mandapanda]

HI

 

Personally I would write and complain and request a different doctor. They should be building a 'therapeutic relationship', not trying to instill discipline. We had a somewhat similar situation with CAMHS. It's really frustrating as if they got on and did what they are supposed to be doing the child would be getting helped, but they just end up making the child not want to go at all.

 

Our local CAMHS service is becoming almost non existent and has been largely ineffective for some years, but unless people put complaints in writing nothing will change. (I don't mean this in any political way).

 

Now that your son has admitted the problem could you open a discussion with him at a time when he is most calm and in a good mood, at home?

Edited November 18, 2012 by Mandapanda

[Sally44]

I too would put in writing why this doctor was unhelpful and how for a child with ASD and very logical thinking she was being rude and then telling him not to do what she was doing herself!

 

Ask for a referal to Clinical Psychology department or CAHMS [Clinical Psychology tend to work in a therapeutic way, and CAHMS tend to prescribe medication as it is a medical psychiatric service], and ask for that referal to be to a specialist team that has experience of working with children with ASD including Aspergers.

 

My son also overreacts emotionally. But it is not about 'self control' completely. The autistic brain is different. There are differences in the areas that moderate and control emotion, impulsiveness etc. I went to a talk given by Wendy Lawson [an adult with Aspergers], and she explained that 'emotion' in an NT brain is rather like having a shower with a shower curtain that contains the water. Those with an ASD do not have that shower curtain so the water [and for water read 'emotion'] gets everywhere and is not contained or easily cleared up. I thought that described my son. And he himself tells me that he "cannot stop the feeling" "cannot get it under control". So it is rather like a tidal wave that has to be ridden out. He can be abusive and shout things when upset. He is later mortified at what he has done and often self harms as his way of punishing his behaviour which he feels is totally unacceptable. So this isn't about children out of control. Often the children are as mortified and horrified at their reaction as is everyone else. And my son then tries to avoid any kind of situation where he might get upset and lose control. As he says himself he does not like to "lose it" and he does not like anyone to see him "losing it". And it takes him days to recover.

[naelith]

Thank you all

 

I spoke to his special school on Friday and found out that this doctors boss is the psychiatrist who works with the boys at my sons school. I explained to the school what had happened and they got the OT in to see him straight away to work through his anger at the appointment.

 

Once they had found out from him that he has said he will thump the doctor if she interupts him again they have agreed with me that it is not a good idea thankfully. They have contacted the psychiatrist for the school and are trying to get him an appointment through school. The psychiatrist has asked why I want to swap to him and I have given the school permission to tell him why so hopefully as he is her boss something will be done about her attitude.

 

The only thing that concerns me is that I have done all this behind the speciality doctors back as I couldnt face her last week in case I got angry as her attitude is very abrasive when it comes to my son. Well I have to go and see her tommorrow with my daughter so she might be a bit funny

 

Thanks again for the advice

[Sally44]

It is very difficult, but I always found it best to be as open about things as possible. I don't mean being rude, but just tell her that she kept interrupting him and that now he will not see her again, or if he did he has said he would hit her if she told him to stop talking one more time because he thought SHE was being very rude to him.

 

Remember that you are doing this for your son, and not to make friends. I have found a number of times that I have had to stand up to professionals and question their judgement or findings, and often in the end I have been proved to be right. So just stick your ground. You need professionals to be working with your son in a productive way not a confrontational one.

[trekster]

Well said Sally44, I quit my previous GP because of her attitude. Unfortunately my family seem to have the same attitude which makes me feel unworthy of help.

 

Also seriously consider changing your family doctor or get a different relative to go with your daughter to see her GP. Sounds like the specialist was far too close to home in order to help you and your family. Really pleased your son is getting the help he needs.

 

By the time i was diagnosed i was between the 16-18 year old window for help and have been trying to find a suitable psych since. hard to move out of the AWP area which is refusing me psych help "because we dont treat ASDs", i tried PALS and they refused to overturn the decision who is higher than PALS?