Feeling low constantly

[metalhead1994]

I have been diagonised for a month now with Apergers and every night I am crying and I don't know why and I can't stop myself either. Nothing interests me anymore. I just feel so empty and alone.

Does anyone have the same problems or know of anything that can help me feel better?

[robert7111a]

Hi metalhead1994

 

Did the diagnosis come out of the blue or were you expecting it?

 

Do you normally suffer from depression?

 

I see you write songs - why not write one expressing how you feel? Might be one way of getting it out of your system. Your friends should be able to offer support (if they're true friends of course)

 

Having AS is nothing to be ashamed of.

[metalhead1994]

How I found out that I might have it came out of the blue

I have had self diagonised depression since I was 11/12, my mum has had it on and off since she was 14

I am trying to atm but its not working like it usually does, its more of my family thats the problem the few friends I do have are very supportive. I wish my family were more supportive.

It feels like a curse at the moment and in an way due to people around me I do feel ashamed to be me and having AS

[A-S warrior]

Only thing to do at times like this; and that's to post a funny link:

 

 

 

Sorry, i'm a typical familly guy fan. (an idiot lol)

Edited November 22, 2012 by A-S warrior

[metalhead1994]

Thanks for the attempt, unfortunately it didn't work

[smileyK]

M.H- i would say it's a 'classic normal type reaction' to find out your 'different' in some way is hard time get head around the official diagnosis it does take a while for feelings/emotions to settle down and become less strong /raw so don't rush through this process maybe slow have you thought about seeking some 'treatment' in finding out if it is depression at source or foundations as hard to work out whether it A.S causes depression or other way round! you go through like grieving process saying goodbye to 'normal life' and living with everyday battles/struggles we fight daily! while others don't i went through this and still go through feeling so alone,empty etc can be so difficult manage/cope with alone have spoken to your doctor about depressive thoughts /feelings?

 

you ever had 'dark deep dangerous type thoughts' due to depression my depression really started to take hold become strong and obvious during early puberty like you as that's when get all 'normal type changes) physically ,emotionally which is anyway hard to deal with let alone AS to welcome with 'open arms' and except willingally into your life without having some kind of emotional battle .... just wanted to know even though you feel alone you are NOT! you got any outside professional support around you? NAS etc? have you explored /searched depression? keeping a diary helped me release negative emotions/feelings? going for a walk? listening to music? what about finding a new hobby/interest? or seeing if a local AS social group exists where you live?

 

XKLX

[metalhead1994]

I have been feeling like this for about 7 years. My doctor refuses to give me any meds for it even though I have a history of self harm and suicide attempts. There are no support groups where I live. I had tried a diary but that just drove me mad, I do some songwirting but last night that didn't do anything. I'm constantky listening to music just to keep me sane. I'm slowly losing the very tight grip I have on my anger which can only end badly =/

[smileyK]

i also have 1st hand personal experience /situation past on/off of depressive states of self destruction mode of self-harm ( cutting & ODing) on several different occasions PM me and we can chat share further ???! hope i can help you or become friends! have you tried seeing different doctor who more empathic to your personal situation of how you feeling and how desperate you are of understand and seeking more information/knowledge behind Mental health issues (depression?) does sound like high chance/possibility of depression of what you describing/explaining in your posts on here!

 

XKLX

Edited November 23, 2012 by smileyK

[smileyK]

do you think meds like (anti-depressants) make you feel 'better' ,improved more balanced ,stable than coping without? do you talking therapies would help you work out stuff emotions/thoughts/feelings in your own head instead of them going round and round all time??? do you ever offload/share your thoughts with others at all friends ? do you often feel 'real buzz high' and dropping,deep crashing lows causing despair?

 

XKLX

[metalhead1994]

I need something to stablise me the way I used to was self harming and I already have enough scars from that. I talk to the few friends I have about it but I don't want to feel like a burden on them and I'm always in a deep crushing lows. The best way I can describe it is like I'm in a hole and I can't get out and the hole gets deeper and deeper each day

[smileyK]

M.Hd -i've inboxed messaged u! (PM'd you!) so check ur inbox hun! XXX

[Greg101]

Hi Metalhead1994

Advice below is just my experience - it helps me .... maybe of some use ?

 

I have been diagnosed with aspergers and also suffer from depression, starting from childhood. I found meditation in my 20's and the use of mantras to be the only way of getting back some control of my mood. Inexplicably helping to cut through the negative ######. Although it is not a do once and all is well affair !! if you can give up 10 minutes minimum everyday I think that will help in subtle and sometimes mysterious ways. just do it physically and dont expect anything and see how you get on - give it time before assessing or reviewing...it is the only thing I have found for me.

 

PS there are other routes for each person/situation such as antidepressants and other therapies so they may work for you also - lots of other options all which will add to your experience and journey. the parent - adult - child relationship is an interesting one to also investigate with depression(transactional analysis) the depressee often puts themselves into a child (helpless) role due to habit

 

PPS If you do try meditation I would recommend not getting involved with any religious groups but there are secular methods.... defintely try mantras as I think they are more effective.

 

PPPS I have suffered for periods of time where I "planned" suicide, (funnily enough always when I have not been practicing meditation)waking at 4 am in the morning seems a prime time. I You will probably find that if you try relaxation breathing techniques at this time you will notice you are very stressed and it is this stress which is adding if not causing the negativity (i.e. your body is in fight or flight mode)

 

NB Part of being in depression is that you feel helpless which then leads to escape as the last resort to gaining that control. There are many many reasons for not doing this which are very difficult to see when down there, the reason for not doing it I find being the real and negative effect you will have on others it will cause a lot of lasting hurt - keep hope alive and I strongly recommend trying taking back control with meditation/mantra

[Lyndalou]

Hi Metalhead

 

When you say your doctor refuses to let you have any medication, are you talking about your GP or someone else like a Psychiatrist?

 

If a GP, I would say change them asap so that you can speak to a more sympathetic one. I don't believe that medication is the 'answer' per se, I think that there are many other things that you can do to alleviate or at least lessen the impact of mental health difficulties. However, they have their place and the right type for you might help you to be able to get out of the place you find yourself in right now.

 

If a Psychiatrist, it might be a bit more difficult to change to another one but not impossible. If you are in 'the system' then you may be able to access an advocacy service in your area to help you speak to your Psychiatrist about how you are feeling and why you feel that medication could help you meantime or to help you request a change of Psychiatrist. When you are in a vulnerable state, this might be a helpful avenue to go down (you can also get help to go to the GP but you may find that a local advocacy service work within prescribed limits and this is why I ask if you are in 'the system' already). A google search might be all you need to do to find one.

 

I've been on medication which helped me get out of my 'big black hole' and I've also been an advocate and have seen the best and the worst of the mental health system. I was also on medication when I was an advocate, lol

 

Best of Luck

 

Lynda

[metalhead1994]

Yes I do mean my GP I have a surgery and don't have one doctor so I get who is available

[Lyndalou]

What are the reasons they give you for not considering short-term medication?

[Lyndalou]

You've maybe done some of these things so ignore if so. Some of the things that helped lessen my anxiety were cutting down on caffeinated drinks, cutting down on alcohol (though I'll be having a glass of wine tonight as it's my birthday ), deep breathing exercises and exercise in general. I try to eat reasonably well so I don't have as many problems with sugar highs and lows and I try to get a reasonable amount of sleep too. I use earplugs at night if I can't sleep and have herbal stuff to put on my pillow. I try to keep my physical problems at bay as best I can. Unfortunately, to alleviate stress at a time that I was under great strain I took up smoking again which doesn't really help (blah, blah you know the rest).

 

I'm not saying that this will stop anyone being depressed because frankly it doesn't stop me becoming depressed but it does make things more manageable. If you can think and reason better you can make better informed decisions and less rash judgements. Anxiety can breed depression and then you are in a loop. There's also the issue of 'reactive' depression caused by your situation or a feeling of being out of control versus whether the depression is more clinical. However, if the end result is similar; ie. you feeling completely hopeless and having suicidal thoughts then your GP ought to take this very seriously. They have a duty of care towards you and if they are not recommending medication for some reason then they should be offering you some alternative option. Some GP's are very reluctant to prescribe medication these days as in the past they've been accused of handing them out like sweets. However, if they only start you off on a low dose, short term prescription then I can't see what the problem would be. Often, medication can go hand-in-hand with talking therapies etc.

[metalhead1994]

I do have a shall we say negative history and she still won't give me any. I don't smoke and I did stop drinking for a couple of months and I felt so bad for said months.

Happy birthday btw

Edited November 25, 2012 by metalhead1994

[Lyndalou]

I think I get what you're driving at... However, they should be offering you some other help if you are considered 'high risk' in some way. When things seem very bleak, it can be very hard to see a way through - they should be helping you to clear the path in front.

 

Thanks for the birthday wishes - it's the big 4-oh-no!!

[metalhead1994]

I know they should but not everything that should happen does happen unfortunatly I'm feeling ok atm and anytime

[Asun86]

Hello there,

 

I've been in a similar situation as yourself so thought I could offer a little advice or help maybe

 

The medical issue, there is normally some way to resolve this, maybe you can take 1 or 2 weeks supply of anti depressants, revisit your gp and repeat and this way they can assess you each time.

 

I to have no Autistic social group near me, but in 2013 there is one being opened, this has given me great hope, a chance to meet other Aspies, so for you I wondered where is your closest ? Maybe you can drive there or get someone to drive you, I see your location is in Farnborough and just from a quick search there is an Autistic trust in Basingstoke called the Basingstoke National Autistic Society and maybe this will be of some use. I hope so

If that's totally useless there will be others but obviously the commute could get pretty hefty, but it might just be worth it so you can experience being around other people with Aspergers !

 

Grrrr, I don't want to be an ######, just take things in moderation, alcohol can be a real depressant in it's self.

 

After about 50,000 attempts. .

 

You have gone though a lot and you're still here fighting, you're asking for help and advice, all this is positive, not many people have to deal with depression, undiagnosed Aspergers when they're growing up and as recently diagnosed 26 year old I doff my hat to you !

 

Never give up hope !

[metalhead1994]

I have found out an old friend of mine who lives 5 mins away from me her older brother has AS and he has been diagonised since he was 9 so I now know him and have regular talks and meet ups with him. He invites me to places and parties with mutual friends and he make sure I am ok whilst I am there. Thank you