My most dominant traits of Asperger after much internal analysis

[Alex_a_scholar]

Hello forum,

 

My name is Alex_a_scholar and after much self-analysis of internal conflict, behaviour, mood etc, I have derived some conclusions regarding my traits as an individual with the pervasive developmental disorder Asperger's Syndrome:

 

• It takes a long time for me to learn the social messages of certain people, I will not feel comfortable around people until I have 'learned them'.
  
• I experience total exhaustion after social interaction with others; I will analyse the social experience until the exhaustion abates. If this is with people unknown to me, or if I was in a pub, or party setting, exhaustion takes longer to abate.
  
• I have an insatiable desire to fully comprehend systems from the foundations through every other angle. Mathematical, physical, computing, economic, political systems are my current concern. For me, the ultimate intellectual and scholarly goal is to integrate these systems into an ultimate abstract understanding of what is.
  

I simply felt a desire to share some thoughts with folks of a similar hue, and I think this will make a nice first post that will attract some conversation.

[watergirl]

Hi Alex, and welcome to the forum....although I'm pretty new here myself.

 

I agree with the first two points you make..........I had a good example of it last night when I went out to a pub to catch up with some old friends I hadn't seen for a long time...., a rare event for me. It was a crowded pub, and there were more old friends than I had expected, and some of them were not that well known to me. I lasted about half an hour before I got really anxious trying to work out who I should be talking to, and what to say/ask....so we left early. But I feel that was a good step forward, as I've re established contact and can build on that........but today I'm exhausted from the previous day's mental preparation and evening out. I will probably play it all over and over in my mind all day today, and try and talk myself out of doing it again......but I want to get involved, so I'm not going to give up. It is frustrating though.

 

Your third point is not something I'm familiar with though, so I can't really comment. The nearest I come to that is my obssession with sailing dinghies and their history and sail registration numbers.

[Alex_a_scholar]

Thank you Watergirl. It's nice to hear from you.

 

Frustrating yes, I totally agree; I do have immense fun though if I'm with people I know well, although I also share your troubles regarding the situation you described.

[Sa Skimrande]

Hello forum,

 

 

I simply felt a desire to share some thoughts with folks of a similar hue, and I think this will make a nice first post that will attract some conversation.

 

Nice use of language.

 

But socialising also leaves me drained mostly where although I generally enjoy the situation the feeling is to escape as much as possible with run for the hills a feeling I have to quell often. Of course being a smoker, in pub situations five minutes outside with a rollie is that cooling off period, but I have become aware in recent months that my tolerance of alcohol has subsided where if a negative thought is generated it festers and quite often I come away from the social experience in a bad mood. How do these negative thoughts generate, why through failures of communication as usual where I can very easily misinterpret what is said to me and so it is friends don't say much to me now, where I of course generate negative thought through the feeling of being ignored. The result is I hardly go out to the pub now and only do so when there is a pub quiz on, other than that I can't see any point in generating yet more negativity.

 

As to your third point, I used to be like that, I just needed to know how everything worked and I was into everything, but these days I struggle to hold interest n anything long enough to understand. But from the past, much of what I can do and excel at is self taught through my own experimentation and need to learn all there was to know, but when you have lived through years of depression that spark of interest becomes hard to find again.