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smileyK

gaining direction & control

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need advice plenty of it... How do i manage to gain direction /control over my adult life? When i just want to lose responsibilities so easily done? When just give anything to go back to innocence childhood!

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By first of all, embracing people's guidence, and wisdom. Then start your own personal action plan, eliminating anything distracting or unhelpful. one thing you really should do (but probably won't) is seriously reduce your exerise. you don't exersise like most people do, you self medicate with it, as an alternative to self harm.

 

What you need to do is identify what triggers your self harming behaviors from the route and tackle it head on, be brave, and not give in to it. Let's start with depression; the only sure fire way out of depression is change. change everything you do in your daily routine, from the side you get out of bed, to the way you walk to work, to the way you get home. DO NOT just get in and flump onto the sofa and watch hollyoaks, use that as your time to take a quiet walk and reflect on your day. even if it's cold, wrap up and go for a relaxing walk.

 

kick the exersise for a while, just eat well, and replace exersise with realxing activities, find a place thats yours. one thing i do, to wind down is quietly talk to myself about my day, and what i could of done better. by doing this i am able to reflect on my thoughts with much more clarity, or you could alternativley log them either on a thread here, or even better in a private book.

 

next on the action plan is your futre, while your in your quiet place, quietly think to yourself in your minds eye, what really floats your boat in life, almost meditating while you do this. then plan in your mind how you plan on getting there. once you've done the above for a few weeks, that mind fog will start to clear. the thing is with you smiley, your life is like an old book, all of your pages are worn down, due to you constantley re reading old chapters. it's about time, you started the next chapter. only way you can do that, is to stop reading the old ones.

Edited by A-S warrior

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just feel overwhelmed & suffocated! ;c i cant seem to take in parents advice they give me! To try seperate me & my parents lives to let live theres and live mine just get so scared ,anxious & afraid of living my own! I feel as if nothing to give life at all no purpose meaning just floating empty lo i feel such a wimp cry baby just try express myself never comes out right at all! Just frustrate my parents as looks like im not trying making an effort to help myself feel stuck st confused

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life is stale boring tiring and at my age i do know shouldnt be this way at all! Its all me and my fault! Feel im too blame! Cant shrug or lift this off! Dad tells me harsh hitting truth it hits me bad and dont take it good as find him can be insensitive lot and he really doesnt get my autism reality then he feels i dont see other side of their point of view so that stresses and tires me dont mean it to be this way! Trying my best hardest to work through just feel nothing ever good enough! out

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a-s warrior - im am grateful for your endless replies to my negative moans whinges just feel so alone scared need somewhere safe understand to voice without being judged i dont feel i cant stop exercise routine cold turkey on my own or even cut back!

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i dont deserve any replies back... As all i do is moan & whinge my dad plays my autism down all time saying it only lil bit of autism not even lot he thinks mild like most that does my head in annoys irritates me so much! As it isnt when you live with true reality experiences first h i feel try so hard fight against my fate of autism but my dad especially doesnt see it this way! He wishes i never diagnosed or heard autism!

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i dont deserve any replies back... As all i do is moan & whinge my dad plays my autism down all time saying it only lil bit of autism not even lot he thinks mild like most that does my head in annoys irritates me so much! As it isnt when you live with true reality experiences first h i feel try so hard fight against my fate of autism but my dad especially doesnt see it this way! He wishes i never diagnosed or heard autism!

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my dad manages every time when advising me reduces me to tears he thinks i just feels sorry for myself poor me because my life with autism! But wish i wasnt forever chasing reality of norm doeant ex especially have mental health issues unresolved it triggers all sorts all time but goes in one ear out the other he dont think i listen take anything in he says to me! Or i say ok to not repeating something then do it again this wearing him down! I ending truly hating myself for doing it! As my dad depressed grumpy stressed without me foloowing becoming cling on reliant to their routine! The connection is comfort security dont trust myself reassure me without out them dont know what to do with myself anymore at a true loss... Im suffocating overwhelming my parents but trying to stay a child where responsbilities doesnt come into your life nothing is complicated

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just feel overwhelmed & suffocated! ;c i cant seem to take in parents advice they give me! To try seperate me & my parents lives to let live theres and live mine just get so scared ,anxious & afraid of living my own! I feel as if nothing to give life at all no purpose meaning just floating empty lo i feel such a wimp cry baby just try express myself never comes out right at all! Just frustrate my parents as looks like im not trying making an effort to help myself feel stuck st confused

 

Only problem with parent's advice is, it's biased. With them being protective, there naturally going to be reserved in there reasponses. plus, you pick up there bad habbit's with that advice. getting your advice from numerous sources is better.

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i dont deserve any replies back... As all i do is moan & whinge my dad plays my autism down all time saying it only lil bit of autism not even lot he thinks mild like most that does my head in annoys irritates me so much! As it isnt when you live with true reality experiences first h i feel try so hard fight against my fate of autism but my dad especially doesnt see it this way! He wishes i never diagnosed or heard autism!

 

First of all, everyone has a right to there voice, if something is troubling you in life, it's not moaning and whinging,and if i may say, ive seen a marked improvment in you over the last few weeks. Dad's and (parents for that matter) have a funny way of making things worse. try to get some rest now, and post in the morning with a fresh mind. the best advice ive had this year has been from complete strangers that ive met only a few times. as you get older, parents advice becomes slightly less helpful, and more watered down.

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A-S warrior cant rest or settle at all... My life going no where feel im too slowed down to too speeded up either way its not nice feeling inside! I hate myself causing so many deep issues not being able to fix or solve them

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feel its one let down after another wish hadnt been born... My head screams out dangerous impulsive thoughts... I feel so wrapped up in my reality find difficult to see other norm side why is this?

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dont want point any blame fault anywhre but childhood was emotionally stressful household due to my mums PND when we was little was difficult times for us as family!

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Rember, none of this is your fault. regarding your childhood, rember what i said in my first post, regarding the old tattered pages of your book. not easy, but your goal is to turn away form that. it's the past, and if you spend the present dwelling on the past, how can you enjoy the futre?

 

You've improved in the sence that you contribute and offer support to other people. your begining to care for others and have become a lot less self focused. that = you moving in the right direction. if your finding life hard,why not bury your sorrows in doing good works? you seem quite good at offering support as well you know......

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my head is completely messed & mashed i play past events like broken record situation been in caught in middle emotionally charged situation between parents find so hard to switch off and on to future i just feel so hopeless weak drained

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feel i dont deserve anyone in my lifw parents neices keep debating about moving out of home going anywhere just need mental space & time dont know where i go what id do havent got a plan as such just feel like black misunderstood sheep

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wish my dad seen me as less selfish & moving in right direction parents dont think cope and manage living independently alone! Alone is what i need as im always alone anyways so what difference?!

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i want to run and keep running ... As staying facing misery guilt bad too much to bear making everyone feel worse not getting easier better just worse! When try work things out on my own! Never turns out right!

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