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Sa Skimrande

Odd one out ?

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Does anyone feel this, a feeling that they are the odd one out wherever they go or with whatever they do with regards social situations ?

 

And does anyone count numbers of people in attendance where one relaxes if the number of people present is even but gets anxious if the number is odd ?

 

I have always felt left out, or the odd one out and this xmas I worked out what caused that and why I hate xmas and it was the fact that my family, my parents had elected to have my father look after me as the only male child and my sisters were looked after by my mother, my two sisters even had different religions to me and went to religious schools. But my father left when I was aged 7 and with no connection to my mother that is when it started this feeling of odd one out.

 

I communicated this realisation to my sister recently, where she said yes that issue had come up a few years ago within the female part of the family unit and they are sorry for pushing me away and actually calling me the odd one out as a lone male in a house full of females, as even the cat and the dog were female.

 

But at least I now understand where my fear of getting close to anyone comes from, it is a fear motivated by fear of rejection, as rejection features a lot through my past and the lifelong feeling of the odd one out, because it still happens, even recently, in my dance class we had to pair off for an exercise and the women paired of together leaving me on my own, the usual story, it hurts as it ever did, but that is just the way it is as I don't fit in simple as that.

 

And so with the recent medical diagnosi that confirmed one feeling I am questioning where I fit into this world, what is my purpose and why am I here.

 

But does anyone else have the feeling of being the odd one out ?

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Yes is my answer !

 

And the question is...Who am I?

 

I never got on with boys/men when I was younger partly because I don't have many boyish interests and the males used to bully/tease me

 

I relate more to girls/women but not fashion, clothes, hair, makup etc (girls would then consider me wierd and give me a wide berth (which people do anyway)

 

So what camp do I fit in?

 

Where in society do I fit in?

 

I am looking into the possibility of CBT as a way to stop negative thoughts and ways of thinking as clearly I am a social outcast...nobody wants to know me.

 

I would love to know me but I too, have a fear of rejection

 

So yes, I am the odd one out...the ugly duckling...the runt...etc...etc

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But does anyone else have the feeling of being the odd one out ?

 

Yes I completely have had these sorts of feelings for most of my life and I am starting to see the value in feeling like the odd one out, I don't want a predetermined slot, or a box to live in, I'm finding certain levels of value in being me, sometimes it is difficult changing how I view things - or rather - adjusting my views on things - some people are unique, and as much as I do feel different and isolated and weird at times, there's something in that which is good because its interesting, and if I can't be unique or amazingly brilliant, then maybe interesting will do, even if I am one of the few people who believes it is interesting being the 'odd one out'.

 

Also as I don't really want to be like everyone else, rejection becomes irrelevant as the people who matter in my life do not reject me and so the rest can politely take their leave of me and I shall take mine from them.

Edited by darkshine

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Good topic!

 

I so know where you are coming from. I've always felt like I'm the odd one out... be it in school or in work or wherever I am. With regards to family I'd say not though, as no one ever made me feel that way within our family unit.

 

In fact I've had discussions at work over the past little while where I've come out with things like 'I know I'm weird, but ...'... and I've been asked 'what makes you say that!?'. This was before I was diagnosed in September... prior to that I'd never even realised I might have AS.

 

I never really fit in with the kids at school I don't think... and I used to just hang out with my brother and his friends for the most part outside of school. Going into highschool I had a couple of friends, with one friend featuring in my social life most often, and then her and her two sisters being the only friend type people I spent any time with after leaving high school. I look back now and can see that this may have been because I didn't necessarily have to invest too much into the friendships as such and could wander in and out of situations as and when I wished, without having to feel bad for ignoring people. With the friend and her sisters, I think we were kind of similar in many ways.

 

I don't do too well in large groups, although if I know the people I have been getting better as I've gotten older.

 

I started to feel like I fitted in a little more when I started hanging out with people in the 'metal' world... but I don't really spend much time in that world anymore due to physical illness :( So now I'm stuck in a world where I don't fit in again, with work being my only semi-social outlet! I've got a couple of people at work that I get on well with and that's enough for me right now.

 

To be honest though, I'm happier with my dog and going for long walks with her when I can. She doesn't see me as 'different or weird'!! ;) I also hang out with my super cool 3yr old nephew who doesn't see me as weird either ;) So family and my dog pretty much fill my world right now.

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This is how i see myself,

 

I'm the square peg, in the round hole.

 

If everyone moves to the left, i move to the right.

 

Others cling to groups, i walk alone.

 

I laugh, you cry.

 

I love things others don't understand.

 

I express emotion, by showing no emotion.

 

In other words, yes i'm the odd one out.

 

 

And i love it.

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Yes, I've always felt like that, the oddball, not fitting in, being rejected and left out. At school I used to fear being asked by the teacher to "pair up" because often no one would want to work with me. I've always feared rejection and used to get upset when left out especially in my teens, now I've come to accept that I will always be a bit different to my peers.

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Does anyone feel this, a feeling that they are the odd one out wherever they go or with whatever they do with regards social situations ?

 

Well, I don't recall ever not feeling that way.

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I have also always felt like the odd one out. It used to bother me, especially as I could never really hide as I'm 5 feet 10 and, therefore, as a woman, very noticeable. Now I really don't care. Who wants to be a sheep?

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