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Special_talent123

Autism and sexuality

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I came out last year . I was in a long term relationship before I had a boyfriend. It never worked out over the years the more I would have relationship with a boy it would feel awkward. There is this girl that I still love and she loved me but has gone chasing men. Only 90 percent of people I know and are friends knew about 10 percent didn't like it and ditched me but the 10 percent don't know will know when my book comes out. I feel I have to come clean but I am fearing fearing predijuce and these are house staff and the volunteering. I know I belong to the lgbtq group and should speak to get when it starts again and I spoke with the helpline last night. I spoke to the old house staff about coming out to new staff she will help me to come out to support me. A while ago I spoke to the lgbt switchboard about whether abuse can change your sexuality and its true- I was bought up with abuse as a child and then happened in 2008 and 2010 as an adult which Is why the psychiatrist said I haven't learned to deal with my emotions during childhood upbringing I'm which has led me to having emotional unstable traits of BPD . I feel so vulnerable around men because my dad and two friends abused me. I have positive vibes and feelings around women the feelings that person that loves a man I get towards a women but not a man

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Being a man, oddly or not, I generally don't like men (no disrespect to men on here!) as I grew up being bullied/abused by men (including my own father). I also don't like stereotypic men stuff like Sky sports, sitting around in pubs, fast cars etc.

 

I certainly am not a ladies man (I don't have the requisite skills!) but I do relate better to women

 

It takes me a long time before I can be comfortable trusting anyone

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Being a man, oddly or not, I generally don't like men (no disrespect to men on here!) as I grew up being bullied/abused by men (including my own father). I also don't like stereotypic men stuff like Sky sports, sitting around in pubs, fast cars etc.

 

I certainly am not a ladies man (I don't have the requisite skills!) but I do relate better to women

 

It takes me a long time before I can be comfortable trusting anyone

 

 

I actully am the same, espeshilly now later on in life. I always find that men feel the need to constantly compete with me. Theres too much ego with young men my age, they all think there tough guys, (put them in front of a real life issue, they would head for the hills) and that there gods gift to women. Note my signiture 'humility' that is something im working towards big time right now. If you can be a success in life, do well, and have people around you look up to you and admire you, while you being humble, you've cracked it in life. Only problem is your male peers will resent you for it.

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@ special talent - my great aunt who didn't have an ASC!!! had bad sexual abuse situation /experience which changed her sexual orientation towards the same sex women but didn't bother us one bit she was just her! I think it was easier way of coping skill of moving away from men as shed been emotionally scarred by group of men which put her uncomfortable of life with men totally she was quite fun with her sexuality wasn't ashamed or embarrassed she didn't openly come out or admit but that her right and we so respected this too!

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* we loved her for who she was not who she decided was her choice don't know if this bad awful horrid situation had occured whether her sexual orientation would been a different story altogether! My mum sister my aunt is a manly lesbian I personally believe in my opinion she has undiagnosed ASC her daughter my cousin is straight is married to a man has little girl and new born daughter also I suspect ASC to her! I have had strong connection feelings suppose sexual links to girls I know in the past does this make me though as not strong enough all time for my sexuality to be classed as lesbian! There is lot of cousins on my mums side that are gay or lesbian so it common normal playing ground for us so nothing unusual!

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Being a man, oddly or not, I generally don't like men (no disrespect to men on here!) as I grew up being bullied/abused by men (including my own father). I also don't like stereotypic men stuff like Sky sports, sitting around in pubs, fast cars etc.

 

I certainly am not a ladies man (I don't have the requisite skills!) but I do relate better to women

 

It takes me a long time before I can be comfortable trusting anyone

 

I'm not understanding how this refers to the lgbt sexuality?

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Wouldn't it be a nice world if people would just accept people for who they are... whatever their sexual orientation, religious / spiritual views etc. I really do not understand why someone's sexuality worries other people. Whilst not abused myself, I can see how it may affect your outlook and the way you see things and view relationships.

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@ special talent - my great aunt who didn't have an ASC!!! had bad sexual abuse situation /experience which changed her sexual orientation towards the same sex women but didn't bother us one bit she was just her! I think it was easier way of coping skill of moving away from men as shed been emotionally scarred by group of men which put her uncomfortable of life with men totally she was quite fun with her sexuality wasn't ashamed or embarrassed she didn't openly come out or admit but that her right and we so respected this too!

 

I'm comfortable with my sexuality but its the coming out to the last 10 percent feel bit fearful of the reaction that's what I mean

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Wouldn't it be a nice world if people would just accept people for who they are... whatever their sexual orientation, religious / spiritual views etc. I really do not understand why someone's sexuality worries other people. Whilst not abused myself, I can see how it may affect your outlook and the way you see things and view relationships.

 

I just fear of homophobia. Someone that could be your friend as soon as u tell them the reaction maybe really bad and be homophobic

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I think what is happening in western society is a direct result of the breakdown of religion in that do you know what the Christian religion did to people who had leanings away from what was expected, in simple they destroyed them as they were the enemy of god.

 

Despite the fact that in the Christian bible it is reported Jesus himself made reference on at least one occasion that I know of to people that do not follow the traditional expectation and he was not derogatory to them, in fact he was promoting acceptance.

 

Matthew 19:12

 

To illustrate my belief look at Islam now, a belief born out of Christianity and the newest religion ( circa 622 AD), going through much of what Christianity went through in the Medieval period and through that I believe it will also mellow in time, but compare what is happening to people who do not follow the traditional expectation in that religion compared to what the Christians did, it is the same despite the fact that the Koran does not actually demonise the homosexual and so what is happening to homosexuals in those cultures is exactly what the Christians did before their church men lost their power.

 

Because that is it, what we have now is because the Christian church men have lost their power, they can no longer authorise the slaughter of what they don't agree with and it was that mostly their own prejudice not the word of god and so carry that thought onto what Catholicism did to women, just pure prejudice.

 

But the church has influenced law making where most western countries have laws based on church prejudice and is it indeed interesting to notice the most hateful pursuer of the homosexual in Europe of the past is now the most tolerant- Holland.

 

And so as the church lost it's grip on people, moods mellowed and laws were relaxed and we have what we have today because we are largely Christian in name only where we have even have laws to promote self determination, by what you like and believe what you like.

 

We have at last evolved in a positive direction where the focus is on the happiness of people not authority.

 

And so regards Islam, I do believe it will also evolve in time as every other belief has done so before it, all it takes is time and people, but I do condemn those that view that belief with intolerance when they have no knowledge of what their christian belief also did when it's church men held the ultimate power, aggression is not the way forward, acceptance and gentle persuasion is, but the west is instrumental in the Islamic attitude towards the homosexual as Islam was not always so intolerant and still isn't in some places where the khanith exist as recognised members of society.

 

I am not Christian, I renounced that belief when I learned they did not include the natural me, so out of the club I do not support them, but I do believe in God, just not their interpretations, they do not speak for me.

 

But I am not entirely male either and that proved through a chromosomal aneuploidy, so being not entirely male I am free to be me. An extra x chromosome contrary to what science can discover seems to have an effect as many with this thing are similar, where some even elect to live as female.

 

But one thing has to be considered here what with a rising population where the world's population now is more than all those who have died in the past, homosexuality and gender variants could be a natural answer to what will engulf us if we do not address the situation because in time if we do not act there will be more people on this planet than there is land to grow sustenance for, then expect the negative that man-unkind can do for it will be war, death and destruction where the possibility exists man could even wipe out nature.

 

And so to me homosexuality and infertility typical to gender variations is a good thing as yes, the infertility has been heart rending over the years, but at least now I understand nature's plan, I am part of the solution. Of the past the attitudes that existed were perhaps motivated by the need to populate areas where disease was rampant, but now with many killer diseases conquered, all we do is reproduce and look what is happening, we are over populating, good for authority and their taxation, but ultimately not good for our species.

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This makes no sense, i dont get what your trying to point out to me regards to homophobia/coming out. I am not religious. But i am trying to say like say use the volunteering staff they have to abide to rules regardless as gender, race, sexuality, disability- but then its okay for government and churches to be homophobic. There is not clear boundaries there

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This makes no sense, i dont get what your trying to point out to me regards to homophobia/coming out. I am not religious. But i am trying to say like say use the volunteering staff they have to abide to rules regardless as gender, race, sexuality, disability- but then its okay for government and churches to be homophobic. There is not clear boundaries there

 

It might not make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me and believe me I have researched extensively in this matter as I always do and so do undertand where the antipathy towards homosexuality comes from and it is with me whence I understand the origin of a thing I can understand people and their motivations.

 

The apparent homophobia you detect in the church and government is because of the church in what it did in forming people's opinions and prejudices and although the church has lost it's grip on the majority, their morality follows down through parents that become parents and the more conservative a family, ( conservative as in traditional), the more likely past ideals will stick.

 

What we have is a conservative government in power and conservatives who are also largely traditionalists are often church goers have voted against gay issues and not surprisingly at all, the recent gay marriage in church issue I believed had no hope whatsoever of being passed because the wrong government was in power a government that supported the church. Remember Cameron at the beginning of his term of office saying he wished the country would become more Christian again ? He did that, because through religion there is control and what does every traditionalist want if it is not thought control ? But what was Cameron up to in his recent gay marriage in churches, well for a start he recognised the ability to capture votes as he knows his party needs them as traditionalists are moving away from their traditional support to another party that is vowing to sort out what the conservatives seem impotent with.

 

As to laws, laws are created to keep the people in line as you will also notice laws that politicians break often go un punished unless there is political advantage to be gained by publicly punishing someone for their crimes.

 

Laws are also designed to make the work force cohesive in that a cohesive work force is better for business and what is this country all about, was Napolean wrong in saying Britain is a nation of shop keepers ?

 

The church is exempt laws pertaining to homophobia, because what is in power will not challenge the power of the church and believe it, the church is still powerful through influence and that influence is the problem in that the church can really upset politics and that means the destruction of individual person's fortunes if they dare to force the church to change.

 

And so though you might not be religious as I am also not religious, you must understand what religion can do and has done and you must also understand the religions are interpretations not the truth by any stretch of the imagination, because books were written by man not any god if indeed god exists in the first place.

 

Religion is politics.

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But its not referring to my post. I was only saying i feel fearful coming out to that 10 percent- nothing to religion. I was talking about relationships

 

Hy dear, I am an Aspie.

 

That being, disegard anything I have said, through not understanding your original post as it is common to many aspies to get the wrong of the stick, but this, is an aspie forum full of aspies so expect what comes.

 

Relationships are ultimately what you make them, the ball is in your court.

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Hy dear, I am an Aspie.

 

That being, disegard anything I have said, through not understanding your original post as it is common to many aspies to get the wrong of the stick, but this, is an aspie forum full of aspies so expect what comes.

 

Relationships are ultimately what you make them, the ball is in your court.

 

By the way AS Warrior was referring to posts you are making regards to my post Rule 4 - he is now a moderator

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

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Not a telling off, just a reminder, as the rules are not easy to spot. These kinds of topics can decend quickly.

 

*edit* rules are now pinned in general disscussion.

Edited by A-S warrior
Added infomation.

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I find it difficult to believe that being Autistic has any direct affect on sexuality but in some weird way I feel being Autistic could have some indirect link to sexuality, basically we're attracted firstly by physical attraction and therefore to believe that Autism can directly affect that is out of the question in my mind.

 

I wondered about my own sex drive and if it was linked to Autism, in the end I just came to the conclusion that it was just normal for a man of my age and found that a logical explanation seemed to fit such questions.

 

So personally for me I just feel something along the lines of "An NT can experience this just the same" so have never put anything sexually related down to being Autistic.

 

There has been some research I read but there wasn't enough to make it stick, it linked a sexually related topic to Autistic men and found it to be true of myself, so maybe there is something in nerve cells of the Autistic mind.

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I never said autistic has to be with sexuality. The title was only autistic and sexuality because I am autistic, and is gay. Sorry post made no sense. The post was mainly to do with fear of coming out to those 10 percent.

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I find it difficult to believe that being Autistic has any direct affect on sexuality but in some weird way I feel being Autistic could have some indirect link to sexuality, basically we're attracted firstly by physical attraction and therefore to believe that Autism can directly affect that is out of the question in my mind.

 

I wondered about my own sex drive and if it was linked to Autism, in the end I just came to the conclusion that it was just normal for a man of my age and found that a logical explanation seemed to fit such questions.

 

So personally for me I just feel something along the lines of "An NT can experience this just the same" so have never put anything sexually related down to being Autistic.

 

There has been some research I read but there wasn't enough to make it stick, it linked a sexually related topic to Autistic men and found it to be true of myself, so maybe there is something in nerve cells of the Autistic mind.

 

There is some ongoing research into this where scientists are looking into various chromosomal theories, where focus appears to be concentrated on the X chromosome because the X contains the largest amount of information and I suppose both male and female have the X chromosome so it makes sense perhaps, but the Y has been theorised over as well. Then with both, scientists could be barking up the completely wrong tree altogether.

 

My own situation where I believe my extra X puts me chromosomally between male and female being pansexual is totally natural because it is in my genetic make up and whatever cognitive and emotional differences that entails. Of course scientists do not believe what I say here, they can find no evidence but what I say here is oddly common to chromosomal aneuploidies and that reported by the people themselves and their sexual tastes thus proving scientists do not know the answers and what they are doing in reality is only guessing because they lack other important tools of observation. It's like comparing logic to emotion.

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I just fear of homophobia. Someone that could be your friend as soon as u tell them the reaction maybe really bad and be homophobic

 

If that's how they react to you on breaking the news then they weren't really your friend to begin with. Good friends will be friends no matter what.

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