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smileyK

gutted and disappointed! ;(

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I agree with your you merry, time does go quickly, Tuesday will soon come round, just busy and you'll be fine. :-)

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SmileyK it takes a lot of courage to be open about how you're feeling and about what's happened. I'm so glad you felt you could tell us. I don't know you. But from the moment I started reading your posts, my intuition told me you weren't just depressed but actually in a dangerous and desperate state of mind. It angers me that so many people in the outside world have got so used to people being depressed that they don't take it seriously anymore. It's as though so many people need help these days, that no one helps each other at all. The pot of desperate people is too big. But that's not good enough. Oh I could scream! Why isn't anyone helping you? The people on this site are great but you need real people beside you working with you right now and sometimes a desperate person can't just sit back and `wait for tuesday` or any other day. I'm so sorry for you and so glad you've come out of it at least physically ok. Keep talking to us....keep sharing your thoughts.....please please stay with us. Can you think of anything else i can do to help?

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Yes I agree with merry please keep talking to us on, we are all here for you. You are amongst friends smiley, we all want things to get better for you.

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However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.

 

In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.

 

Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.

 

If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.

 

We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive appropriate support from trained and experienced professional resources.

 

 

I strongly urge all members to read the above. No this isn't open for a debate, These are the rules. And there in place for a reason.

Edited by A-S warrior

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Understood.

I once worked with a child who was being sexually abused but was very loyal to her family and the disclosures she made to me, she begged me to keep to myself. I had to break her trust in order to help her. But she never opened up to me again after that.

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SmileyK ........I have notified Lufty as to what has been happening.It worries me and alarms me how you are coping at the moment.There are many members here trying to help.But it is important to remember there is only so much we all as a forum can do.Tuesday is not far away now, can I please stress the importance of taking someone with you to this appointment . Iam shocked you were discharged from hospital.I have a friend in mental health services and will speak to her regarding this, as it seems shocking they would discharge you knowing you are to see MH services on tuesday .

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Smiley, why aren't you talking to your parents about this?

 

I am extremely worried you are going through this on your own and keeping this from them.

 

I think you should print out this thread and blank all the forum members names and pictures, and show it to the MH team tomorrow, along with the thread about the belvia body suit. You also need to tell them what you did to end up in hospital over the weekend.

 

Finally, PLEASE start taking your medication smiley. All these problems seemed to get worse when you stopped.

 

You will get through this, but you need to take the help that is being offered to you. We all want you to get better.

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Yes I agree with merry please keep talking to us on, we are all here for you. You are amongst friends smiley, we all want things to get better for you.

 

However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.

 

In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.

 

Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.

 

If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.

 

We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive appropriate support from trained and experienced professional resources.

 

 

I strongly urge all members to read the above. No this isn't open for a debate, These are the rules. And there in place for a reason.

 

So does she talk or not then? Cuz that really isn't clear at all when one moderator says one thing and another says something else. How on earth does Smiley talk within those parameters as there isn't much room and everything would have to be worded perfectly and that isn't always possible when you are depressed is it?

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I really am scared afraid about tomorrow afternoon with adult mental health team bricking it doesn't come close or near!

 

@ matzoball - my parents know lot how I feel after what I ended up doing over weekend had gut instinct I would end up turn out with that outcome could feel it boiling bubbling over to the point of end of road not coming back! And can't take medication properly as all gone now due to what I did at weekend! My parents giving me another chance lashed out physically at my mum get so frustrated reaches anger haven't felt that bad anger wise in long time something just snapped /broke within me became way too much to cope with so much guilt swimming around! Feel going to try run and hide from truth tomorrow as scared anxious be back into a corner! :(

 

(posts merged please add to your previous comments by editing your previous post thank you)

Edited by trekster

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You are scared, anyone can see that. But you HAVE to tell them everything that is going on with you. They are not there to judge, they are there to help you!

 

All they will do is listen to to you, perhaps ask for clarification on some things. But they are there to help you.

 

I know you are trying to avoid this already - DON'T.

 

This is where the hard work comes in and I swear, if you are just honest about what is happening them they will be better equipped to find the best help for you. It doesn't matter if you end up falling to bits in front of them, that will show them how much you need help so it isn't a bad thing.

 

Don't run away from this. If you see it through with the MH team it will get better. Maybe not straight away, but it will be a start.

 

Please go to your appointment.

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Right at this moment sitting @ table in kitchen writing a list detailing explaining how things are how think/feel so if anxiety does get me choked on questions or upset stumbling then at least got some detailed information from me of how it is daily basis!

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I hope all goes well for you smiley, I will be thinking of you :-)

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Tuesday came! Hurrah! And although you're scared, doin this is for the best. Be brave SmileyK you can do it! Good luck. Let us know how it goes!

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Chasing up NAS service as still think funding in place. Having meeting with other professionals like doctors OTs psychiatrist to discuss my case if need other meds from meds I'm on! And refer me to team to sort out applyin for ESA as think maybe entitled to it still just as lost and confused! Going round in circles gr head bang against wall never ending its like pass the parcel! So fed up!

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Well it sounds like you're heading in the right direction, even if it doesn't feel like it yet...you've taken a huge step today so pat yourself on the back and know that you had the strength to go through with it, and feel good that something will come of it even if you don't see the results for a little while. Have they given you a number for someone you can call directly if you should face another crisis? Hugs :)

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I agree with merry it does sound like you are heading in the right direction, so try and be a bit more positive. It will be good to get this meeting with various professionals. I think you should be very proud of yourself smiley, I'm so pleased you went. :-)

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I don't feel positive as been let down,disappointed so many times before feel so weak fed up energy wise I want it all wiped away so can start a clean fresh page! :( depressive emotions/thoughts doesn't just magically disappear wish did though!

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It's not all magically going to be better overnight SMiley - be realistic about it.

 

But, you are on the right path, and the end of that path will mean you are happy, and healthy. So try and keep that fixed in your mind. It will seem bad right now, but you know it is going to get better if you work at it.

 

Keep going.

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@ matzoball - my mum keeps trying to tell me "same thing" everything has process system,takes time and its not magic wand situation suddenly appears from the sky which I do "get" understand the concept behind the whole situation but patience runs low level due to frustrations surrounding me and my life the overwhelming pressure becomes stressful anxious ...! I know the road process is slow winding scary afraid approaching any situation due to my depressive type thoughts /feelings! But feel I am slowly progress of "working at it" which isn't an easy process in first place when feel so alone and isolated even if it only exists in your own head!

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I can imagine you feel frustrated but unfortunately these things do take time. Try and keep yourself busy that's the best way, you have less time to think about things then. That's whats happening with my son Glen at the moment. He's currently having a mental health assessment in a hospital, they are keeping him busy with activities, chores etc in order to help prevent him from hitting himself, the more busier he is the less time there is for self harming and I have to say so far it's working :-)

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SmileyK i'm not sure how old you are, (I'm assuming 20's?-excuse me if i'm wrong) but I just wanted to mention that in my own life, things definitely got better with age. If you fight through things now, it will be worth it later.....like doing all the preparation for running a marathon so that when you have to do it later, it'll be easier....What you're doing, is learning to be an expert in the management of your depression and in how to cope with your life. This is what you'll learn from this now so that as you grow older, you'll be able to deal with it better and better until it doesn't even frighten you anymore. I really hope this is the case. I like what JeanneA said about keeping busy. People always think they need to persuade you out of your mood like it's something you can simply switch off. It doesn't seem to work like that though. Sometimes, it's enough just to carry on existing and keep your mind busy, despite the way you feel, until it passes....and remember that you know from your own experience that it always does pass. Hugs

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Got phone call yesterday afternoon to let me know that self-directed support funding is still available to me and hasn't run out which is positive news social worker from adult MHT looking into independent source (psychologist/counsellor) if NAS doors are now closed to me looks like other avenues are still open to me!

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Thats great news smiley I am so pleased for you, looks like things are on the up at last which you totally deserve. Keep us updated. :-0

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