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aspieman

Anger in ASD individuals

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I have been posting on ASD boards for over 8 years and there is so much pent up anger in some individuals. I try and support others but it becomes a drain on one self sometimes, It leaves me feeling like I have done something wrong when I make a couple of contributions to a member's thread when they are crying out for support and I don't get acknowledged.

 

I have been a moderator on different sites for many years but the pressure becomes to much when people start getting angry.

 

Some people keep taking and not giving anything back so then it get's unhealthy.

 

I do try very hard to be supportive but suffering with depression myself makes it difficult at times.

 

I have all the respect in the world for the mods here.

 

Is it just me being sensitive or do others agree?

 

 

 

Paul

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No I feel how you do, I,m quite a sensitive person and dislike confrontation and anger in particular.For me I feel it comes from childhood and having a father who when angry would shout.To this day I hate raised voices.My AS son rarely gets angry now (he did when younger )......if he ever loses his temper its more as a result of stress and anxiety.I think its very important to learn to apologise.We all can get angry, its also about learning to say sorry aswell after .

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I think we can all feel the same at one time or another. Sometimes it takes a while for those asking for help to be able to give back. I leant on a lot of people a few years ago when I had a nervous breakdown - some on forums, some in real life. Only in the past year have I felt I can give back. I took some time out to recover and generally piece things together - now I like to be able to support others/give advice where I can, but until you've overcome something, there's not always anything you could say to help - because you're feeling low as well.

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I have been posting on ASD boards for over 8 years and there is so much pent up anger in some individuals. I try and support others but it becomes a drain on one self sometimes, It leaves me feeling like I have done something wrong when I make a couple of contributions to a member's thread when they are crying out for support and I don't get acknowledged.

 

I have been a moderator on different sites for many years but the pressure becomes to much when people start getting angry.

 

Some people keep taking and not giving anything back so then it get's unhealthy.

 

I do try very hard to be supportive but suffering with depression myself makes it difficult at times.

 

I have all the respect in the world for the mods here.

 

Is it just me being sensitive or do others agree?

 

 

 

Paul

 

Hi AspieMan, I hope you werent referring to me. If i came across that way to you, my apologies it was not intended. I was not even making an post out of anger. Sometimes it is difficult to disguighish if someone is being angry or being nice. Sometimes its not easy to make a post understood so you try and make the person understand but it can be difficult. It also not always easy to know what to write back it takes me a lot of thought processing. My sister says I have lack of thought processing so it take me a while to think what to write.

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Anger communicates a lot. Anger doesn't flare for no reason. An individual doesn't get up one day and decide to be angry.

 

Sadly angry people get stigmatised a lot with apparent little care that they may have just lost their job or they're having difficulties at home.

 

True no one likes being shouted at or being the target of a person's anger but if the person who is angry is given a chance to air what it is that is troubling them they may turn out to be surprisingly nice people only with a lot on their mind.

 

But if your head is not clear from thoughts of your own (like depression) then you already have a full glass and an angry voice will not only keep filling that glass but will also add heat and maybe pressure as well as like a pressure cooker. Go easy for a bit. Take a back seat and give someone with a clear head the job of dealing with the angers of those you want to help. Your health comes first Aspieman.

 

Best.

Edited by Mike_GX101

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I have "flare ups" of anger builds due to frustration within me also had childhood past issues and experiences going up with witnessing quite bit of anger ,aggressive nature which wasn't pleasant or easy to witness was confusing as a child! I'm not blaming this on my sudden anger but hasn't 'helped'matters I believe as you seem to think anger is the "normal" reaction to everyday matters/issues!

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*anger seems have close link/connection to so many different deep rooted emotional issues (depression , stress/anxiety) as when don't have effective release valve to express in calm,balanced way it becomes confused mess of choas and mayhem to deal with and pressure attaches directly to self -esteem which firmly damages/crushes long term after! :( still living with after effects! And believe it is "correct proper manner" to express inner stuck emotions! I do firmly now believe we do learn behaviour of managing/dealing with endless emotions feelings which bottle up shook up -have uncomfortable situation made worse by explosion of "fireworks" not good/great!

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Mike put it very well. I see it as simply the fact that we're all different on different days...and our mood greatly influences our posting styles....and even our opinions to some extent. It also influences our reactions to responses from other people. The forum offers a real freedom for us to express ourselves and for other people to actually listen to us for a change! But it's true that at some times in life we need to do more talking than listening.... One thing i've noticed about this whole experience is that it's very easy to notice things like a post you've written, or thread or private message to someone being `ignored` and it's also very easy to read someone's response wrong and take it the wrong way. And very easy to take all these things seriously when it's probably nothing at all! It only happens because people are naturally thinking about their own experiences here, and can't be responsible for every other member nor would we have the time to be. I'm also not sure that everybody can always put a huge amount of thought into how their responses sound all the time....due perhaps to lack of time or again, variations in mood, speaking from my own experience....whatever you write, can be taken in a number of different ways. And we can only be judged by our actual responses, not by our intentions because that's something other people can't see. Underneath it all, I thoroughly believe that we all have good intentions, we all want to help. I've been trying to remember to think of people's intentions rather than what is actually written....sort of reading between the lines. It's just so easy to get crossed wires when writing.

 

And I agree with Mike that you should put your own health first Aspieman....maybe you just need to do a little taking instead of giving for a while..... :)

Edited by Merry

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