Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Jack has been away at his nannys house for 4 nights, he slept fine whilst he was there, hapily going to bed at 9pm. Home again now and hes back to normal insomnia/i want mummy/daddy etc. Im doing all tha same things his nanny was doing to settle him but he wont!!!!!!!!! Want to scream! She didnt have any luck with toileting though, he was just as bad, pooing in the bath and on the floor and in his pants. Tonight i really feel like ive HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I ccant put my 1yr old to bed until Jack is asleep... so hes awake down stairs. Also im worried Jack will wake my 3 yr old up. Walkin on egg shells here.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted January 28, 2013 (Hugs) bless ya! Suppose all gets "off" "bad" had enough days tomorrow is another day start again refreshed tomorrow! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Is it possible that it's to do with the activity in the house? I see that your little one is still awake too. If he's been away for 4 nights it could be something to do with the fact that he missed you and was thrown by being away from you? He could be looking for attention because of this, especially since he sees that the baby is still up? Is the baby crying? Could this be bothering him? Are there lights on? Is there music or TV on? It might not be much fun for you but it could be worth trying making the house as quiet and as dim as you can. Not sure how practical this is... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Lights are all off upstairs, baby is quiet, bathed/fed/had milk and ready for bed... when Jack will let him!!!! He is always like this in this house, he was ok in our old house but ever since we moved its been hell. He wanta either me or his dad right next to him while he goes to sleep, but we are busy and it can take hours to get him to sleep. My other kids are all fine and "normal" and ive just had enough of Jack disrupting the whole familys routine, exhausting us all and generally causing stress and upset to the other kids and me and his dad. HE NEEDS MELATONIN! going to contact paediatrician tomorrow and ask for prescription and see if it will help. really really had enough, i know its not his fault but i cant cope! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I have a 9 yr old, hes fine. I have a 3 yr old, hes fine. I have a 1yr old hes fine. I have a 4yr old, hes hell! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Sorry i know i shouldnt say things like this, but i just want a peaceful quiet time... just for once!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I would suggest that if Jack went to sleep 4 nights in a row at his nanny's house then it is clear that it is possible for him to go to sleep by a particular time. If he was ok in your old house too then I would suggest that this isn't a sleep disorder. I know you've asked before about this problem and there were suggestions about how to have his bedroom set out, even colour schemes. My son doesn't have a sleep disorder but he does have many fears. We now leave his bedroom door quite far open and the hall light on all night which makes him feel safe. When I was a child, I 'saw' a 'shadow tree' which waved back and forward in the doorway to the bedroom and this blocked my exit. I could lie for a long time watching this 'tree'. I was also petrified of the dark - I had an extremely vivid imagination as does my son. Children with ASD are mistakenly thought not to have active imaginations but just because they don't have good 'social imagination' does not automatically mean that they don't have all sorts of fantasies. It could even be that he is scared to go to sleep if he is having vivid dreams. i don't know your son but it's worth thinking about the less obvious things. My son will not go into the living room in the morning unless we turn the spotlight on the standard lamp around as it looks like an 'eye' and this is a huge irrational fear for him at the moment. There could be something in his room that is scaring him and making him seek solace with you or his dad. Hugs and hope it improves and you get him to bed soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Its this house thats causing it, he cant settle in this house. His room is to small to move things around but has been painted the same colour as his old room. Hes been here for nearly 4 months and should have settled by now. Any "normal" person would have settled months ago! He has known his nannys house since he was a baby so feels comfortable and safe there, also the other house we lived in he knew since he was 18 months so felt safe there too. How long is it going to take him to settle and feel at home here??!! I just cant cope any longer with it all. Why does it take him so long to get use to change. I feel like giving up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I've just had a thought. Have you considered things like massage or stroking? I know this sounds weird but sometimes I massage my little boy's shoulders and back and he visibly relaxes. massage in general can make you drowsy. Would he tolerate this? Last night, he asked me to get into bed with him to get a big hug before he went to sleep. I lay on the bed beside him and just stroked him gently with a finger from the bridge of his nose to his hairline. I stopped and he took my finger and made me start doing it again so I did it for a while more until he was almost asleep. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Merry Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I really feel for you Noskca, I hope lyndalou's suggestions help. I really hope things improve for you soon and wish there were more people you could lean on. It can't be easy. x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 He doesnt like being touched or hugged much, i do stroke his back and hair to try to relax him but he tells me to "stop it mummy". He hugs on his terms only. I usually have to beg for hugs such a shame. thanx for the thoughts Lynda, sorry for my ranting, just so stressed and fed up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 He does like to be close to me or his dad, he lies close enough so his body toughes mine, but hes not keen on any stroking/massage x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) You have (I think) answered your own question and it does sound like change is a huge issue for Jack. I know you will be doing everything you can think of and it must be exhausting, especially if you are considering the needs of 3 other children at the same time. Sometimes you just have a 'lightbulb' moment and suddenly everything makes sense but you have to be a detective, especially if your child can't tell you what their problems are. All the photographs have to be turned face down at my parent's house because of the 'eye' fear but until my husband realised this was the problem, my son would only sit in the corridor during our visits, 3 visits in a row because the fear came out of nowhere - every visit has been perfectly 'normal' until last summer. So, we sat there discussing whether it was the amount of plants in the room, the curtains, the volume of the TV or shadows on the ceiling which was causing the problem. It was very frustrating and then my husband had the 'lightbulb' moment and now things are fine. Can you see the Paediatritian again soon? They will have come across this before and may be able to advise on calming techniques. Like I say, I'm not an expert at all but it really doesn't sound like a true sleep 'disorder' to me. Edited January 28, 2013 by Lyndalou Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 Sounds like the massage is out.... . What about calming smells or homeopathy? I'm not a devotee of homeopathy but some people swear by it....I do however believe in the calming properties of lavender. Even things like a blocked nose can stop my kids sleeping so I often use Olbas etc in a plate of water by the radiator or drops on their bedding... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 No i dont think its a sleep disorder either, i think its a problem with change. I hope she will prescribe melatonin and it will help him settle and fall asleep, and maybe start him back in to a good routine. I will phone and ask to see her asap or talk on the phone if this is possible to do with a paediatrician?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 We saw a homeopath in december, but have been unable to give jack the stuff she prescribed for him as he wont drink it!!! so thats £50 down the drain. Ive tried herbal sleep aide, it hasnt worked. Not tried lavender yet so will get some tomorrow. Do they sell melatonin in health food shops does anyone know? x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 28, 2013 I would certainly talk this through with the Paediatritian. I think that you would have to speak to someone if you were asking about the possibility of prescribing melatonin so your first stop might be your GP if you can't have a phone consultation. Hope the car trip will have sent Jack to sleep - my two are out like a light in the car!! In my personal opinion, I wouldn't self-prescribe anything - melatonin is tailored to your child's age and weight. it could make things worse rather than better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 28, 2013 ar didnt work, but hes asleep now on the sofa x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sa Skimrande Report post Posted January 29, 2013 We saw a homeopath in december, but have been unable to give jack the stuff she prescribed for him as he wont drink it!!! so thats £50 down the drain. Ive tried herbal sleep aide, it hasnt worked. Not tried lavender yet so will get some tomorrow. Do they sell melatonin in health food shops does anyone know? x No, melatonin is banned OTC in the UK, and so it is the GP or online, but beware of it, it can destroy the body's natural production, which means one has to use it even when one doesn't want to. I use it myself only when I really need to sleep as the body's natural production of melatonin reduces with age and I am 45 But when I use it I use no more than 1mg and that's enough, no more as I know what comes with double the dose, I can fall asleep, but I really struggle to wake up and stay dopey all day. Your best bet is Lavender or Camomile, in my opinion far safer than melatonin and I use lavender more often as it is easy to get hold of. Also warm milk stimulates natural sleep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 29, 2013 Thanx Sa Skimrende. He drinks a lot of warm milk, i have to say no after 2 beakers full, otherwise hed be drinking 4 or 5 each night. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jenim Report post Posted February 1, 2013 Benzoin essential oil is great for sleep, you can put a drop or two on his pillow (it does stain) it goes well with orange - together they smell like chocolate orange :-). Vetiver is another oil good for relaxation - but smells nasty on its own - you could also burn it in an oil burner before he goes into his room so the vapour is in the room - or put it on a tissue on the radiator. I get my oils from materia aromatica ( www.materiaaromatica.co.uk ) they sell organic essential oils and have 5 ml bottles which works out cheaper just incase it doesn't work! Keep the oils in the fridge and they last longer. You can also use them for your self :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Soda Report post Posted February 1, 2013 Thought Lynda gave brilliant advice. Not sure I can add anything at all other than to say when I saw my DD's paed. Last week I asked her about her role and the role of the CASBAT team. I felt like I didn't know who to ask if I did have a question or a problem. She reassured me that If I had any worries about day to day health ( my dd didn't sleep much over Xmas as was poorly. And that with the combination of a first wobbly tooth meant she didn't eat for over a week. Literally, so worried as lost so much weight) Paed reassured me this was exactly the sort of thing I should seek advice about and that it was fine to telephone and leave a message. Sometimes when you are really stressed and struggling to cope its difficult to know who and what you can ask to help. I would ring paed, ask for phone all and they will decide on basis of that if they need to see you sooner than your next appointment. Hugs from me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted February 1, 2013 Thanx both, i did phone his paed a couple of days ago and left message with recrptionist who said she would pass on the message and get paed to contact me... still not heard back... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
