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Sa Skimrande

The demographic here~ Dx'd adult, child or in support of?

Dx'd As a child, adult or are you a parent of ?  

24 members have voted

  1. 1. At what stage of life where you diagnosed with ASD ?

    • Dx'd as a Child ?
      0
    • Dx'd as an Adult ?
      17
    • In support of those diagnosed ?
      7


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Just out of interest and to appeal to those of us that think in pictures, I wish to ascertain what is the demographic here in terms of members of this website.

 

So what are you ;

 

Child diagnosed ?

 

Adult diagnosed ?

 

In support of those diagnosed ?

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What do u mean in support of those diagnosed.

 

I was diagnosed age 14, but they said autism but not aspergers

 

Parents, partners, those who have to live with the diagnosed who may come here for guidance and autism, isn't autism prat of the Autistic Spectrum Disorder umbrella ?

 

Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are part of the same thing which is ASD as indeed AS is sometimes called High Functioning Autism.

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Parents, partners, those who have to live with the diagnosed who may come here for guidance and autism, isn't autism prat of the Autistic Spectrum Disorder umbrella ?

 

Asperger's Syndrome and Autism are part of the same thing which is ASD as indeed AS is sometimes called High Functioning Autism.

 

Thats the thing I am not called High Functioning. I am in the middle scale the psychologist said because i have learning disabilty

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Thats the thing I am not called High Functioning. I am in the middle scale the psychologist said because i have learning disabilty

 

You state in your signature you have;

 

Autism diagnosed age 14

 

Asperger's Syndrome is Autism although a high functioning form of it

 

But autism is it a disability or is it a difficulty in the UK which brings me back to my recent topic on the issue which seems to have sunk without interest.

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You can have different disabilities that exist alongside each other.

 

Autism and Aspgergers have been defined as disabilities in the UK for a long time.

 

What is it you are driving at?

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You can have different disabilities that exist alongside each other.

 

Autism and Aspgergers have been defined as disabilities in the UK for a long time.

 

What is it you are driving at?

 

I am driving at the fact I have been told by the job centre AS is a difficulty not a disability, there is a difference.

 

I have also been told the UK government recognise AS as a difficulty not a disability, and so we are entitled to little if anything at all in terms of consideration regarding the issues we have and as to work we are not disabled which is as good as saying there is nothing wrong with us and despite our difficulties that the neurotypical has no issue with, we just have to get on with it and cope, oh and get a job.

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I would feel legitimized to choose all three options: my son's dx was followed by me supporting him, was followed by my on dx as an adult.

 

So there.

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Yes, how many other conditions are described by our government as a "difficulty" so that they don't have to pay benefit etc.

 

Oh and BTW (sorry for going OT), when is the DSM-V out? Can't wait to see how AS is described (I know it won't be a separate condition in its own right)

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Yes, how many other conditions are described by our government as a "difficulty" so that they don't have to pay benefit etc.

 

Oh and BTW (sorry for going OT), when is the DSM-V out? Can't wait to see how AS is described (I know it won't be a separate condition in its own right)

 

The government don't work for the populace, you should know that by now.

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You state in your signature you have;

 

Autism diagnosed age 14

 

Asperger's Syndrome is Autism although a high functioning form of it

 

But autism is it a disability or is it a difficulty in the UK which brings me back to my recent topic on the issue which seems to have sunk without interest.

 

No I not worded this right. I dont meet the charestics of asperger syndrome or High Functioning Autism. They said no to aspergers/HFA, and yes to Autism. I am below the high functioning and above the low so im in the middle scale.

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I am driving at the fact I have been told by the job centre AS is a difficulty not a disability, there is a difference.

 

I have also been told the UK government recognise AS as a difficulty not a disability, and so we are entitled to little if anything at all in terms of consideration regarding the issues we have and as to work we are not disabled which is as good as saying there is nothing wrong with us and despite our difficulties that the neurotypical has no issue with, we just have to get on with it and cope, oh and get a job.

 

Well I am on Disability benefits, they see my autism, LD, Dyspraxia and mental illness as a disability

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Yes, how many other conditions are described by our government as a "difficulty" so that they don't have to pay benefit etc.

 

Oh and BTW (sorry for going OT), when is the DSM-V out? Can't wait to see how AS is described (I know it won't be a separate condition in its own right)

 

It will be out in April

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I thought you wanted people to use the poll?

 

People here can use the poll and contribute nothing to the conversation that ensues and where it goes, that is the reason why I created a poll as here I understand what one asks as a question to start with often evolves or devolves, but you must understand that may be a human thing or indeed an autistic thing as healthy conversation works that way as we are not logical entities

 

Well I am on Disability benefits, they see my autism, LD, Dyspraxia and mental illness as a disability

 

I also have dyspraxia and learning difficulties and of course the AS and a new one; Klinefelter's Syndrome through being xxy and though currently I am on disability benefits, I know that is coming to an end as I have a second ATOS assessment in a months time and the benefits I was on have been cut by about a third . I am finding I cannot survive like this much longer, food is a problem and so I have decisions to make despite the fact that I am inherently indecisive, do I wish to go on or do I try again to fit into society, it is getting that bad and what I decide isn't mental illness it is full cognitive ability as I understand my worth to society in this abortion of a country that seems to forgotten itself.

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People here can use the poll and contribute nothing to the conversation that ensues and where it goes, that is the reason why I created a poll as here I understand what one asks as a question to start with often evolves or devolves, but you must understand that may be a human thing or indeed an autistic thing as healthy conversation works that way as we are not logical entities

 

 

 

I also have dyspraxia and learning difficulties and of course the AS and a new one; Klinefelter's Syndrome through being xxy and though currently I am on disability benefits, I know that is coming to an end as I have a second ATOS assessment in a months time and the benefits I was on have been cut by about a third . I am finding I cannot survive like this much longer, food is a problem and so I have decisions to make despite the fact that I am inherently indecisive, do I wish to go on or do I try again to fit into society, it is getting that bad and what I decide isn't mental illness it is full cognitive ability as I understand my worth to society in this abortion of a country that seems to forgotten itself.

 

I dont know why your being affected. Have u been in work? Usually its that they start putting u in a work related group because they know u are capable of working as done it before. Whereas I am difficult. I have learning disability which is kind of different to learning difficulties.Although i may have dyslexia as well as a learning disability

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I am driving at the fact I have been told by the job centre AS is a difficulty not a disability, there is a difference.

 

I have also been told the UK government recognise AS as a difficulty not a disability, and so we are entitled to little if anything at all in terms of consideration regarding the issues we have and as to work we are not disabled which is as good as saying there is nothing wrong with us and despite our difficulties that the neurotypical has no issue with, we just have to get on with it and cope, oh and get a job.

Edited by Suze

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I guess you will have a hard time proving to the job centre that Aspergers is the reason if you have had full time jobs before.Maybe it is a culmination of things..........do you claim DLA ?

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Sorry i was typing but not writingproperly asi am bit upset. I have a clear head now. What i mean whereas i am different because i have been in unpaid work for the majority of my life. I claim DLA/ESA with severe disabled preminum which i was entitled too.

 

Get a letter fromyour doctor saying how the aspergers affects your every day living thats what my doctor did and was exempt from medicals

Edited by Special_talent123

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I think what we have to keep in mind is that each of our experiences in dealing with local authorities is different, and not always a positive one. Some may consider AS a disability, some don't. However the law does define AS as a disability, so if you are encountering resistance to support whether it be financial or otherwise - it's worth chasing it up.

 

Sa Skimrande, it may be worth looking into advocacy for someone to attend your ATOS appointment with you, as you are entitled to do that. You can also take a recording device in with you as long as they know beforehand. That way you will be more than prepared if you have to appeal.

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I guess you will have a hard time proving to the job centre that Aspergers is the reason if you have had full time jobs before.Maybe it is a culmination of things..........do you claim DLA ?

 

The thing is since diagnosis of AS I have actually degenerated into what I guess I was before I was forced to create my coping mechanisms to be normal and to fit in to society, but I was never totally with the plan. Now I can't think what those mechanisms were, how I managed and to recreate what I had means starting again, and that starting again fills me with fear, because I have the knowledge that I have a social fear and further to, an, outward observer sees a near middle aged able bodied adult male who through being what they are are expected to be able to fend for themselves, males are expected to be able to do this, it is a historic assumption.

 

I claim DLA and receive the minimum based on anxiety, depression and AS.

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Do you feel recieving your diagnosis had a negative effect on your emotional state , has getting it debilitated you further....how were you as a child/adolescent ?

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The thing is since diagnosis of AS I have actually degenerated into what I guess I was before I was forced to create my coping mechanisms to be normal and to fit in to society, but I was never totally with the plan. Now I can't think what those mechanisms were, how I managed and to recreate what I had means starting again, and that starting again fills me with fear, because I have the knowledge that I have a social fear and further to, an, outward observer sees a near middle aged able bodied adult male who through being what they are are expected to be able to fend for themselves, males are expected to be able to do this, it is a historic assumption.

 

My husband went through a similar crash in confidence when we were having our son dx'd, about 15 years ago. We were advised to read Tony Atwood's book before going to our next appointment and the night before the appointment my husband still hadn't read it. I confronted him on it and he broke down in tears and ran unpstairs, saying that he couldn't face reading the book and finding out something about himself as well as our son. After he finally did read it, and having recognised a lot of 'symptoms' in himself, he had a massive crisis of identity, which lasted for quite a while. He suddenly felt very self-conscious of everything he said, thinking that people were looking at him as if he was weird, he suddenly felt everything he said was 'weird' and he seemed to lose sight of himself, who and what he was, he felt his whole life had been some kind of lie. It took a while, but he came to realize that he was the same person before reading the book as he was after having 'learned' things about himself, nothing had changed other than his knowledge and all the thoughts in his head were just that, thoughts in his head.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you are the same person as you were before dx. If you coped well then, then you can do it again. Coming to terms with yourself and your new thoughts about yourself take time but once you have done that, you should be able to continue where you left off.

 

~ Mel ~

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I t makes you wonder the impact of a diagnosis on an individual Mel.Wether its better to be dx as a child and grow into adult hood knowing of your dx, or if its better to get through childhood and then recieve a dx when you have maybe learned stratergies and ways to cope.(if that is possible )

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My husband went through a similar crash in confidence when we were having our son dx'd, about 15 years ago. We were advised to read Tony Atwood's book before going to our next appointment and the night before the appointment my husband still hadn't read it. I confronted him on it and he broke down in tears and ran unpstairs, saying that he couldn't face reading the book and finding out something about himself as well as our son. After he finally did read it, and having recognised a lot of 'symptoms' in himself, he had a massive crisis of identity, which lasted for quite a while. He suddenly felt very self-conscious of everything he said, thinking that people were looking at him as if he was weird, he suddenly felt everything he said was 'weird' and he seemed to lose sight of himself, who and what he was, he felt his whole life had been some kind of lie. It took a while, but he came to realize that he was the same person before reading the book as he was after having 'learned' things about himself, nothing had changed other than his knowledge and all the thoughts in his head were just that, thoughts in his head.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you are the same person as you were before dx. If you coped well then, then you can do it again. Coming to terms with yourself and your new thoughts about yourself take time but once you have done that, you should be able to continue where you left off.

 

~ Mel ~

Oh yes.....sounds familiar.

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Diagnosed autistic but also a supporter of autistics at the ASD groups i happen to run.

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I t makes you wonder the impact of a diagnosis on an individual Mel.Wether its better to be dx as a child and grow into adult hood knowing of your dx, or if its better to get through childhood and then recieve a dx when you have maybe learned stratergies and ways to cope.(if that is possible )

 

The diagnosis was relief all the mess ups had a reason as the diagnosis came with me when I fell apart at college and I really feel apart big time, I just did not understand anything the basics everyone took for granted no hope with me and so I couldn't understand time tables so was in the wrong place at the right time and I used to go nuts when there was a room change that had not been posted properly, I used to storm out in fury but anything technical, design, advanced concepts I took them in my stride where I was told to tone it down a bit as I was designing and making to MA standard which was well over and above that needed for a foundation degree, but I could not work to a lesser standard as I got bored and lost interest and when I lost interest confusion became a problem.

 

The college thought it was Aspergers so I got sent to see a private educational psychologist and yep, he came up with the fact it was Aspergers but difficult to see when I am not stressed because I have learned to hide stuff all through my life to appear normal, but he asked why I do such and such like bore into his eyes when he is talking, I said because I was told long ago not meeting eyes makes one look dishonest and shifty, so I made a point of meeting eyes when I talked to someone, and why do I keep my hands in my pockets most of the time, I said because my hands have a life of their own and I am aware it looks stupid so in pockets they are contained and various others that I had for this guy was perceptive I will give him that, he undid all my methods, mind he was aspie himself he did admit and he even asked to shake my hand as no one had ever beaten his WAIS scores before and with a raging hang over as I was drinking rather a lot at the time.

 

But whilst at college I received help out of college no help and that is when I realised how damaging this diagnosis is because it means nothing in the outside world and then comes the attack, everything one reads one appears to take on and the problems I have had with authority, well I am reclusive for a reason because everything I believed has turned out to be false for I truly believed in the structure of society in that the police have a job to do and they do it, similarly the courts, the doctors, hospitals government etc where sad experience is none of it works and if you need something despite qualifying you have to fight for it, because there is never the money in this first world country and I am growing very tired of it all. I believe in fairness and this country isn't fair.

 

Then came the most helpful diagnosis which I found through the AS which might even be the AS in me, but this diagnosis has defused a lot of my anger for I now understand what I am and that is inter sex, which explains lots but again the usual; zero support for adults.

 

And so it's not me I fear anymore, it is the outside world and all it's unkind mechanisms.

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This seems to be a familiar story for alot of adults who recieve a diagnosis, that while the dx answers alot of questions it also brings with it , its own issues and acceptance.As a parent when my son was dx I blamed myself , and then analyised myself aswell, as I recognised alot of my sons issues in myself.I ended up seeing a pschycologist and have been on anti ds ever since...........if I have tried to tell my son anything while he was growing up it was simply to be himself and not conform to an ideal model.I allowed him to stim,, shut himself away when he needed too, and be in the world when he wanted.The only thing we disagreed on was school.........he hated it.

if I could encourage you in any way skimrande it would be to allow yourself to be you and not let society hold you back.

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if I could encourage you in any way skimrande it would be to allow yourself to be you and not let society hold you back.

 

Unfortunately being myself is not what society wants and I have to find work as the wolf really is at the door, where to be myself I won't get a job and I will rub society up the wrong way for being an individual. It's no fun when you are on your own all the time and people won't come near you because they think you are weird. Where my cousin who is trying to get me moving to start my own enterprise, where if I can get moving he will sort out online sales , selling and custom actually tells me I am going to have to stop being weird as it will scare off the customers, where I say to him if I can't be myself than the creativity will not flow and there will be no business, because I have to be myself to be creative as that is where my creativity is and I have tried to be normal and what results is I can't dream up ideas.

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Whats is weird though?.........you don,t come across as weird,.........what are you doing that makes you think you are weird?.....do you have good manners, say please and thankyou........thats all you need, and the ability to say sorry (a tough one for my son as he always believes he is right ....and he usually is !!)........maybe your issue is more to do with confidence.Try not to worry about what other people think ........what line of work is your cousin helping you with ?

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Whats is weird though?.........you don,t come across as weird,.........what are you doing that makes you think you are weird?.....do you have good manners, say please and thankyou........thats all you need, and the ability to say sorry (a tough one for my son as he always believes he is right ....and he usually is !!)........maybe your issue is more to do with confidence.Try not to worry about what other people think ........what line of work is your cousin helping you with ?

 

Long hair for a start that doesn't go down well as many tell me to get my hair cut even the cousin who used to be a hippie where he cut his for a 5k pay rise and he being half Asian he had lovely long hair but even he realises now long hair has a connotation attached to it in the business world, he even said to me recently he will know when I am ready to start as I will have cut my hair, but I won't cut my hair, it is part of my identity.

 

Because of my drive to learn to dance, initially to solve the dyspraxia issue and find a viable exercise for a weak lower back to avoid spinal surgery I tend to subconsciously dance at odd times, I am not aware I am doing it, until I get told and I am talking belly dance here as it is just what music does to me now, where I can feel music and when I am like this I am happy so I see it as a good thing, but it causes unhelpful references to sexuality and the usual, you are weird.

 

And then my taste in clothing is not high street and not in keeping with my age or visual gender sometimes, where it has been described as very Harry Potter, fetishistic, gothic and early eighties new romantics style as being very tactile I have a liking for luxurious soft tactile fabrics and styles from a past age also the fetishistic as perhaps unusually for a male I like clothes and I will be making my own soon as what I want, I can't find and I am very exacting with what I want to wear.

 

And there is other stuff, stuff pertaining to stuff I plan to make as I have identified a few fringe markets and I have already been asked to make for some of those markets and stuff not connected to my crafts which I am not that comfortable with yet as I am aware I am changing in some ways from what I was which was clueless and searching to what I now know I am and am evolving into.

 

My cousin is a gifted cabinet maker and wood artist who used to have a gallery/workshop/craft co-operative in Glasgow, he is now down here trying to repeat the successes of the past and he has seen what I can make when I tune in and believes I have something worthy of sale, where my somewhat eccentric tastes influence my art with a fantasy/ancient world inspiration and so I have made things he has never seen before, but when I demonstrate how the thing is used he sees the sales potential as what I make is practical items from the ancient world that are also form and function jewellery.

 

I know what I can do and I want to do, but I just can't find the energy to get moving through what I said to my cousin is that I have had so many hits, so many negatives and some of them in a very short time period not only have I lost my confidence, I also find I am scared of living.

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It does,nt sound like you are weird at all, your just not conventional, and don,t fit a certain stereotype.But there is a huge part of the population that are like this and actively so .There is a niche in society where being yourself will never be a issue.What strikes me is how obviously talented you are in certain areas and how you focusing on this may get you confidence and self esteem back.But your a grown adult and I,m sure everything I,m saying you know already.....my youngest son has long hair.........my eldest AS son flaps and shouts...(touretttes ).......to me you would,nt be that unusual....

are you having any CBT OR therapy .......you should,nt be scared of living x

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Nope, no therapy, I have asked and been told it's over subscribed, a six to eight month wait for six sessions and that's it where I know cbt needs about twenty sessions.

 

As to fitting into my niche, I know where it is but I have to get moving on the business idea to access it as the plan is when funds allow, purchase a camper van again and travel around the craft ,battle re enactment and pagan faires as I used to do that about fifteen years ago and it is a good existence, certainly good enough for me and as to the meeting people thing, well such people that do that are my kind of people; oddballs, as where I have problems is with the conventional. Yeah sell my stuff and make it in situ as I have researched ancient tools and collected or made them where necessary, where I can do my whole craft without electricity and bottled gas, it's slow but it stops me getting bored sitting in a field on a stall and I know craft working attracts attention to what's on sale.

 

The battle re enactment stuff I can do in period costume as I have done that before where I used to research and make the costumes myself, but with the re enactment I am hoping to access a period specific dance group I have heard moves with the re enactors, as I am making a dance costume based on Ottoman Janissary armour as I am also interested in period specific dancing- the armour in shiny 5% magnesium aluminium alloy, a big job, an estimated 37,000 hand made rings and I am 12000 rings in and it has taken eighteen months so far and it is extremely boring to make where it requires 3 DVD's and a bottle of wine to do a good session of making, after which my fingers are wrecked for about a week despite using gloves.

 

But all this stuff can only happen if I can get moving and that's the problem, I can see a future that will work, as I have experience of it but I can't seem to get moving and I have created a massive visual aid on my wall so I can't forget, where I add new ideas to the plan, but I can't seem to start.

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Maybe the forum should band together and give you a big boot up the jacksy to get you moving/motivated again............its such a shame as there is a life for you out there obviously that you can enjoy and feel comfortable in, its just the initial move forward away from your current comfort zones and constraints that are holding you back.I had no idea you were into all that renactment stuff it sounds really cool, all the making stuff etc you should be working on film costumes and stuff they need folks like you !.......

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An aspie problem so I understand, getting started on projects.

 

In the past when I did it last time I had close support through my ex wife, now I am on my own, it's not so easy.

 

The historic re enactment I used to do Iron Age, Romano Britain and Dark age or as it is called now; early medieval, my focus this time in the early to mid medieval period, maybe even bordering on late medieval. But this time I will not get involved with the fighting as there are too many egos out on the field and those weapons might be safe edged and safe pointed, but they are still steel and not everyone pulls their blows and bones break and skin splits, one gig we did on the Isle of Wight seventeen re enactors ended up in casualty and one in the maternity ward, no a pregnant was not fighting although women did fight, the pregnant woman went into labour during the gig.

Edited by Sa Skimrande

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Diagnosed as an adult, about 2 years ago.

Looking back through life I can see the traits and how they affected many situations.

 

Mark

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My husband went through a similar crash in confidence when we were having our son dx'd, about 15 years ago. ...

For me, it took a bit over one year.

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