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girlracer76

help required - problems at school with 6yr old child AGAIN

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So just had a call from the school again, our son has bitten one of the teachers, headbutted them (most likely from being restrained), and the head has requested he be picked up immediately and excluded for 5 days. This would be the 4th exclusion in 3 weeks and is frankly getting ridiculous. Yesterday, he had a wobbly in the morning, but because the head wasn't there, they kept him at school and he calmed and did work all afternoon. Both my wife and I have bent over backwards to try and have one of us at home to be able to go in when needed, but this week it's not been possible to do that for 2 days. We have to work! I refused to pick him up because I am at work (and my wife is a nurse so she can't just leave). So I'm expecting a call from the head very soon. What is our position on this? can we refuse to pick him up? We've cooperated with the school 100% up til now, but we think they are not 'manning' up and dealing with the problem. Plus 5 days exclusion (plus half term in the middle) isn't going to mean a ###### thing to kieran. Please help, any advice welcome!

REALLY STRUGGLING WITH THIS NOW!

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Where is he on the SEN process - School Action? School Action Plus? Or does he have a Statement?

 

I think the more you are 'available', the more they will call you. I've only recently gone back to work after 10 years of being at home 'incase', and all of year 5 my son was out of school due to anxiety and eventual OCD due to the chronic level of stress he was under on a daily basis.

 

The school has a budget for SEN. If your child is not coping, or they are having problems or need advice they are supposed to get it via the Educational psychologist. So I would arrange a meeting in school with the SENCO and ask them what advice they have sought and from whom. Say that you cannot stop working and so the placement/provision has to be able to meet his needs or you need a Statement or alternative placement where your child is able to learn and cope and where the staff have experience of children on the spectrum.

Edited by Sally44

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I've copied and pasted my reply to another post you replied to. This is all relevant to your situation.

 

 

Firstly you need a copy of the SEN Code of Practice. Read it. It is the SEN Bible and tells you what triggers each stage of SEN. It details what is an SEN [not just academic - it can be speech and language, social communication, emotional and behavioural, sensory or physical]. It is totally untrue that a capable child or average intelligence child cannot have an SEN. Yes they can. And this book also details the type of provision that could be provided for each SEN such as a specialist teacher.

 

It is also not true that you have to wait for a child to be 7 before they can be diagnosed. I was told that about my son who did get an ASD diagnosis age 6.5 years, but they would not diagnose dyslexia/dyscalculia because they said he had to be over 7. Not true.

 

Here is the link to the SEN Code of Practice. http://media.educati...of practice.pdf

 

Additional help/therapy/support/provision or a different placement are ALL triggered by evidence of 'lack of progress' via IEPs, school results, KS levels etc. Parents can ask the LA to assess their child for a Statutory Assessment towards a Statement. They don't need to wait for the school, or even for the school or any professional to agree. You just write to the LA asking for them to carry out an assessment as detailed in the SEN Code of Practice.

 

Regarding age. Here is a link to a government document "autism exemplar". Here you will see that the child involved is much younger. Many children are diagnosed before age 7. http://www.dh.gov.uk.../dh_4090571.pdf

 

For a child to be on the spectrum there has to be clinical differences/difficulties in three main areas. Most children also have sensory processing difficulties too. This is a link that details the DSM IV Criteria for an autistic spectrum disorder [which includes Aspergers]. http://www.cdc.gov/n...sm/hcp-dsm.html

 

Anxiety is also experienced by many children on the spectrum. These children need extra support and may need a different educational environment or special/specialist placement. There can be many causes to the anxiety ie. change, lack of structure, inappropriate teaching approaches, sensory overload, a learn disability or a learning difficulty [poor short term or working memory, dyslexia etc]. Difficulties with understanding language and what is expected of them in class. Not finding it easy to socialise with peers, being bullied, left out, feeling different.

 

If there is evidence that a child needs 1:1 support then that is what they should get. That applies to all the needs the child has. However ONLY a Statement of SEN is a legally binding document. What the Statement contains must be delivered in school with the LA funding the Statement regardless of cost. A Statement is about identifying needs and quantifying and specifying provision to meet each of those needs.

 

So read the SEN Code of Practice and get your child onto School Action Plus with IEPs. When you have two IEPs you can ask the LA to assess for a Statement. Best to have a diagnosis first, so also push for that. If a child is not coping, waiting until they are 7 is just putting them through undue stress and anxiety and is totally unjustified. So get clued up on how the system works.

 

This is another booklet ive found which is very informative. It talks about the early years ie. preschool through to school age and is worth looking at https://www.educatio...d/ES12-2010.pdf

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"So just had a call from the school again, our son has bitten one of the teachers, headbutted them (most likely from being restrained), and the head has requested he be picked up immediately and excluded for 5 days. This would be the 4th exclusion in 3 weeks and is frankly getting ridiculous." Correct me if I am wrong but I believe you can challenge any exclusion on the basis of his SEN. My son is 14 and has only just been diagnosed Asperger's. He has had multiple internal and external exclusions that we were not able to challenge without a diagnosis. Delighted to say that now I feel we can. Might still happen but might not stay at that school either. Was there having problems for years before I stomped my feet and got him assessed. It is good to be a "good parent" for the school but only to a point. Sounds like you could do with arming yourself with everything you can find out about yours and your child's rights to an appropriate education and then laying down the law in the nicest possible way. I suspect there are teachers at the school willing to fight on your child's side.

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You have my sympathy, I know from personal experience how difficult dealing with this can be - while our son has never been officially excluded there have been several occasions when we have had to pick him up early or it has been suggested that it is better if we don't take him in on any particular day.

 

I presume with behaviour like that he is already on SAP? Worth setting up a meeting with SENCO and asking them what they are doing, or think they should be doing, about the situation. Also ask them what good they expect the exclusions to do - it seems to me that your child could regard them as a reward rather than a punishment.

 

Although it may seem early, I would suggest that you consider asking the LA to make a statutory assessment. All that takes is a letter to the LA (do it yourself rather than asking the school to do so). Unfortunately that is likely to be a long drawn out process but the sooner you start the sooner you will get a statement if that is what is required.

 

Do read up on the rules surrounding exclusions from school - this document looks well worth reading:

 

http://media.education.gov.uk/assets/files/pdf/s/exclusion%20from%201%20sep%202012%20guide%20for%20those%20with%20legal%20responsibilities%20in%20relation%20to%20exclusion%20june.pdf

 

If the school's behaviour is significantly different then challenge them as to why that is. At this stage I would certainly insist on them following the letter of the law on notifications - make sure that you have written reasons for each exclusion and that you keep these filed away for future user (you will need them later).

 

I don't know about your son's situation but from the fact that you are posting here I assume he is ASD or likely to be diagnosed as ASD? If so then the school are on very dodgy grounds excluding him. If you have the right to appeal to the governing body (and it sounds as if you do if this is the 3rd exclusion) then I would do so.

 

Also you need to consider what you want for him. Do you want him to remain at that school or would you prefer him moved to another mainstream school. It may be worth looking around at the schools in your area, you will probably find that some are much better at coping with difficult children than others (in a mainstream setting). A school with experience of this sort of child can make all the difference.

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Hi girlracer, I'm new on here but Sally44 has pretty much given you all of the info you need. From experience with our own son it went;

 

School action-if no progress

School action plus-outside agencies become involved eg outreach team, educational psychologist to give advice.

 

Then finally a statement (our son doesn't have one but I suspect this will be our next step).

 

Unfortunately our sons difficulties started when he was 4, by the time he turned 5 I was collecting him (just like you) most weeks, Now I refuse and ask for a letter from the headmaster clearly stating the incident, who was involved, what happened before/during/after, unless I am told he is really poorly. The school were quick enough to highlight all of my sons difficulties, even told me he had Asperger's and suggested I take him to the doctors because he needed more help!, but did not follow the SEN guidelines until I educated myself and kicked up a fuss when he was 6 1/2 (it took this long because I was not even aware he was on the SEN register or school action +....they didn't seem to think that we as parents needed to know??) the reason given was 'lack of funds' this should not make a difference and this is not a concern for parents (let alone be pointed out to parents).

 

I have now realized that my sons reactions at school were due to non existant support. He is slowly improving (but sadly he is 2 years behind and reaching nowhere near his potential) but he still isn't receiving all of the support he should, as mentioned on another post this is something we are working on.

Edited by windylou

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I'm a SENCo at a large primary school (plus mother of DS who has Aspergers and is nearly 16). We have 9 children at my school with ASD and they all have statements. We are well supported by the outreach service from the local ASD school and I call them in when any of the children has difficulties so it's worth checking to see whether there is a similar service in your area. What I would say in my experience is that until a child with ASD feels safe and comfortable in school then their behaviour will be difficult. It helps if the school work with the parents to work out exactly what is causing the behaviour and then try to address it. For example one child has behaved badly, attacking adults, throwing resources around etc and we worked out that he finds writing extremely difficult - the physical process plus phonics doesn't make sense to him so we tried to find other ways he could record his work and focused more on 'whole' words rather then breaking words up into sounds. After a couple of weeks with the pressure to 'perform' removed and very clear boundaries he really calmed down and became much happier. Also I insisted that when he did break the rules he was spoken to very calmly, the facts presented to him and he was asked what he could have done - definitely no raised voices or heightened emotions displayed.

 

It would be worth talking to the Head and SENCo and asking them to try a different approach - finding out the triggers for the behaviour etc.

Good luck!

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