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Loubs56

Is this aspergers??

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Hi

 

I wondered if anyone could offer me any advice re: my 6 year old son.

 

I've always had an intuition that there was something 'different' about Jack. Just recently I've started to wonder if he might have aspergers.

 

I guess you could call him very highly strung and he's an extremely intense little boy. From the age of 2 he has had obsessions, for a couple of years it was dinosaurs. He would spend all day living, breathing them, he remembered an unbelievable amount of their names. It's now star wars, and he will literally play, watch, study the stuff all day everyday. He has toys that he will arrange obsessively and if one moves an inch he will become distressed. At nursery they thought he was a genius, but by pre-school they were concerned that they could not turn his attention to anything else.

 

He's very full on in your face, he doesn't know when to stop. When he has friends round he HAS to play star wars, and when they loose interest he cannot seem to understand. He really has trouble reading other people and people get tired of his energy. I have to say i understand to a degree, he will talk the leg off a hind donkey about star wars and i find it hard myself to keep switched on. However he doesn't really have trouble making friends, as long as they share his interest, he's been at school for 2 years and he couldn't tell you any other kids in his class apart from his 3 friends. I have had teachers say he's very exclusive.

 

Emotionally he's a roller coaster, he really has trouble with anger and understanding his feelings. I think thats the hardest part. If something distresses him he is like a volcano and there's no calming him down, it;s like he looses control and can't stop. It's difficult to calm him down, it's like he has a huge panic attack and he won't let me touch him and he can't listen to what i'm saying to reason with him.

 

He's sensitive when it comes to loud noise, and super with smells and certain textures of food.

 

I feel i need to go and have a chat with his teacher to see how she feels about it. However they have never flagged up problems regarding his learning or behaviour, just comments like he talks to much usually about star wars.

 

Should i be concerned???

 

Any input would be much appreciated x

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From what you've explained and described in your post sounds like high possibility of an ASD present as there 'common main factors' you have mentioned like high sensory issues (loud noises,smells) ,low attention span and invading people's space (like in people faces) the subject topic obsessions (eg dinosaurs) knowing everything about them! Anger can be 'common emotion' due to lack of understanding within situations and yourself (self regulation) of calming down the anger or any other emotions anger can be due to panic,anxiety , stress - frustration which presents itself as 'anger' on outside due not being able to freely 'express' himself more so! So I would bring these 'issues' to someone's attention the earlier the investigation the 'brighter' and better the support intervention network be put in place! Good luck! XKLX

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His symptoms do sound familiar and warrant further investigation, start with the school if you feel they will support you.

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The symptoms could be consistent with Aspergers but then I am sure lots of children behave in a similar way without being AS.

 

Don't get hung up on a label - your son is who he is who has certain needs. You need to address those needs now irrespective of whether you put the label ASD on them. The diagnosis really only matters when he needs more help than school can give him. But if there is nothing seriously wrong at school then there is no need to act immediately.

 

If you have concerns about how he is doing at school then talk to them, they will know a lot more about 6yr old kids than you will so should have a better idea about what is normal. You can also talk to your GP - the referral that will lead to a diagnosis is likely to come from the GP so it does no harm to start the conversation now.

 

The time it is important to act is if things start deteriorating and he starts falling behind his classmates.

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From what you have said he does sound like he has traits, and you know he is struggling even if others aren't concerned - so I would talk to the school, about how he's getting on and fitting in, and tell them your concerns and that you feel he may be autistic. Also, call the National Autistic Society helpline because they will get parents calling all the time about their concerns, and where to go next, so they are best placed to help. Also, as bed32 says, talk to your GP as well, because they can arrange an assessment/diagnosis. You will feel a lot better by taking steps now, than waiting a few years until thing are a lot more difficult for him. Just be positive and open-minded, and push as hard as you have to for help/support if you believe he needs it.

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As above - better to look into it now rather than in a few years' time. There are indications that there may be traits, so now it is time to get a professional on board to investigate it properly. From what you have said, you have sufficient grounds to request some sort of assessment - it doesn't have to be specific to ASD in the short-term. Good luck with it all.

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I agree with what others have said on here, I missed out on earlier interventions due to post school diagnosis.

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Hello, I agree with others. Speak with the school then your GP about a referral, if it is you were on the ball and early intervention is key, if its nothing at least you investigated and know. I am going through the same at the moment with my daughter and after posting a question on here I have decided to go and see my GP. Write down all of your concerns for the doctor (and anything the school may say) Ideally do a diary for a week or so and take that in, I had moments in my sons younger years which jumped out at me but I always thought thats my boy! (he was my first child..I didn't know what to expect really). Back then I had 'heard' of autism but didn't 'know' about autism. It wasn't until he was almost 7 and I had watched him completely change at home that I went to the GP, my main concerns were with his anxiety levels before and after school he became very clingy wouldn't let me leave him at all, nightmares and sleep disruption amongst other things. He was recently diagnosed with Aspergers but with hindsight all the red flags were there. Very similar to what you have wrote.His anxiety levels were due to lack of support at school and he was being bullied but the school didn't listen to what bit of information I could get from him and just saw him as naughty/immature even though they had mentioned autistic tendencies long before. Shortly after I sent a letter in to school and had him refered to CAMHS thats when he told me that he didn't want to kill himself anymore....thats what made me wish I had said something sooner, when he was much smaller.

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hi, not been on here for a long time, just happened to come across your post. reading your post sounds like i could of written it myself lol.

i have always thought my son ryan has done things a little differently, his obsessions was the main has a young child, like you, he makes friends easily but only if they are into what he is into, he has the ability to make them be interested in what he is into. he has always been pretty much ok at school just the odd comment nothing serious. the only difference that sounds between them is ryan is not in peoples face, he probably a little more withdrawn than that.

anyway, at 5 i went to see someone and never followed it up. then, as he went into junior school everything just crashed down on us. he his now really suffering with anxiety and we barely leave the house, he spends most of his time upstairs and if we leave him to it then things are pretty much ok. but he isnt integrated into family life as he should be, barely even looks at his sister, apart from when lashing out. so now 3 yrs on, he is under a child psychologist, pediatrician and as an autism assessment on tuesday. hopefully things don't get worse for you, but if i would of known what was to come i would of followed it up yrs ago, then maybe his anxiety levels wouldn't be through the roof now. xx

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Hi Kerrie

Thank you for your reply, it's always reassuring to talk to ppl who are going through the same kind of stuff you are. Your post especially hit a note because i have just had jack's initial referral interview with a pediatrician and i suddenly questioned myself again, after reading your advice it has boosted me on to keep pushing. I must admit i am worried about how he'll cope with his move up to the juniors, but it's not until next year so i'm not thinking about it a great deal yet.

 

How did you're sons appointment go??? I hope that you get the answers and support that you all need.

 

XX

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Hi Everyone

Thank you so much for your brilliant replies, i really appreciate them and I apologize that i haven't been here for a while to thank you all.

Your posts have really helped and i ended up talking to the school and Gp.

The school were useless, their response was "forget about it we won't do anything until he's 8, and anyway he talks to other people"!!!!!! I took him to the GP who was brilliant, he had a chance to observe Jack anxious behaviour while we were there and agreed to a referral. That was back in Feb and we received his initial appointment for the 4th July with a pediatrician.

 

I have also been getting myself clued up on ASDs and have started taking steps to help Jack at the times he becomes anxious. Mainly trying to avoid situations i know he won't be comfortable etc town/shops, and preparing him for events that come up that will disrupt his routine. I know that we haven't had any diagnosis but i feel that i understand him and his behavior a bit more and can cope with his meltdowns.

 

Thanks again

 

xxxx

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hi, his assessment went really well. he cooperated with the test which was a surprise. its just a waiting game now. we have got to wait for another appointment to see what they think. its gonna be a long couple of weeks lol.

the pediatrician sent us to a clinical psychologist as he couldnt figure out if he has a bad anxiety disorder or if there is a reason for his anxiety such as autism. i guess time will tell.

it does make a difference taking them few steps to make things easier. i have always just put it at the back of my mind and tried to live a normal life but it obviously hasn't worked. i now pre warn him about everything, we tend to keep to the same places that he knows, and we don't change the plan through out the day, we stick to what he his expecting. these few things make the day run abit smoother. i have also found that busy places and full days out are to much for him,we usually come back that little bit earlier.

it sounds like you are doing everything you can,i do hope you get the support you are looking for, i know how tough it can be.

keep strong xx

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Hi

 

Early on I knew something wasn't quite right with my son. I'm not saying parents are experts, but maybe mother's instinct/intuition and all that counts for something. My son had terrible tantrums that I could never quite work out what the cause was, required little sleep, was ritualistic but not obsessively so, etc. He was ddiagnosed with Aspergers at 4.5. It's a personal thing, but for me a label was very important. I didn't want my son labelled with something he didn't have, but felt strongly that he was more likely to get recognition and support with a label for something he does have. The diagnostic process was a long and emotional rollercoaster. My son's school years have been very difficult. He's high functioning and so appears sociable, and 'normal' in many way, but there have been noticeable differences. On the whole, I've found that my son's school treated him as if he were badly behaved – they've consistently attempted to treat the symptoms, but not the cause, if that makes sense. They've also failed to pick up on lots of things e.g. signs of stress, dysgraphia, dyspraxia, etc and make adjustments, etc. I'm sure some schools are very good, but please don't allow whatever school say to wholly dictate whether you pursue investigation or not. Be very aware that ASD children can present very differently at home than in school. They can try very hard to fit in, but more often than not, it's at a cost – they 'vent' once home, etc.

 

I can't say one way or another whether your child has an ASD, but go with your gut feeling. Record anything that strikes you as odd and be clear about reasons for suspecting ASD with your GP. The diagnostic process can be long as it often involves professionals with different areas of expertise e.g. SALT, OT, etc.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

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Hi Kerrie and Caroline

 

Thanks for your replies.

 

Kerrie I pleased that the assessment went well for you both, what did your little boy have to do? It all seems such a long waiting game but i hope you get the answers you need. It sounds like you are very tuned into your little lads needs that's really sound advice thank you.

 

Caroline thank you to for getting in touch it's lovely to hear from mums i can identify with, it really clicked when i was reading your post about school. To the teacher Jack obviously appears to get on with people. It would be easy to put it all down to him being extremely overbearing or naughty, he will talk to anyone but he cannot read other people or listen he shouts over them. I've had the odd child round and they want to go home after a time because he's to much :rolleyes: . I have a feeling you are right he does try to comply alot at school and he relies on it for routine but his idiosyncrasies are more pronounce at home and in public.

I do understand when you say school treat the symptoms rather then the root, my oldest has dyslexia, different to managing aspergers but i always felt like that. I was talking to a friend who is a teacher and apparently their experience of being trained up for working with special needs children is 2 days in a special school!!! No wonder that most of them appear clueless. It's not good and i hope your little boys school pull their socks up x

 

Thanks again xx

 

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When I was diagnosed, albeit twenty years too late, a good test was when the Dr asked me to imagine a perfect happy place. I couldn't do it, I could only remember happy places I'd been to before and picture them in my mind. This is because AS affects the social imagination. Because there were no guidelines or boundaries put on what I could imagine my pedantic AS brain couldn't do it.

 

Also, what helped was when I was asked what I would do if I was in a room with an upset person. People with AS tend to do practical things to fix the problem like make tea or say positive things. They want to comfort the person but they lack the social ability to do so effectively.

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if I was crying or in tears leaving me a cup of tea with honey helps me feel comforted and is the sweetest most caring thing someone can do for me when upset. I really cant stand the 'poor little lexi', my autistic brain thinks 'my playmobil person is little lexi' (shes 3 inches tall).

 

Welcome to the forum btw, for those of you that don't know whether diagnosed or suspected asd/aspergers provided they can follow the guidance would be welcome at the Bristol and Bath ASD social groups.

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That's really interesting that you should mention the social and imagination aspects. I was reading the same thing recently in a book and asked my son those questions. His reply to comforting someone who was upset was to pull funny faces to make them laugh (i do love my little jacks character :lol: ), and his most perfect happy place would be buying lego (his specialty is lego).

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Sounds like LEGOLAND would be ideal for him. Shame there isn't a playmobil land in the uk.

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