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ChickenGirl

Just need some Reassurance

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Hey guys, this is my first post. I just kinda want to know that I'm not alone.

Okay, that sounds really needy.

I am a nearly sixteen year old Aspie girl.

Well, until about six months ago, I thought I was totally crazy. I felt totally alone. I could not interact with people. I had a very specialist subject (Poultry - I absolutely adore chickens) which was the only thing I felt comfortable talking about. I was being bullied at school and was very frightened. The description of asbergers as "Lost Planet Syndrome" is totally right. I felt very alone in the world and I just didn't understand other people.

It was by chance that I came across an article describing a family of Aspies. And instantly something clicked. I was not crazy or weird. I was an Aspie.

I think that my Asbergers has been pretty obvious and yet not obvious throughout my life. From the age of about four I knew that I was different. So I copied others, but I still, to this day, cannot "speak" fluent NT. I struggle to talk to others, I show little empathy, I like being by myself and I am obsessive. I've been bullied a lot because of this.

I've done IQ tests and I am well over 140, into the genius range. I do well enough at school that I find most classes easy. So why can't I understand people?

I also have bad anxiety, and it has gotten to the point where I struggle to even go out of the house and I am unhappy a lot of the time. My five hens really keep me going. To make it worse, I met a boy months ago who I thought I might finally be able to relate to, but he lives thousands of miles away and has a girlfriend. I still love him and he has no idea.I speak to him a lot and It's killing me, because I am so obsessive and I really, really like him.

Although my parents try to be supportive, it's difficult for them to understand, and they have said before that they think that my Asbergers and Anxiety is an act to get attention.

My favourite analogy of Aspergers that I've read is that social rules and life in general are like a jigsaw. NT's are born with the picture on the box, but we aren't. We have to build the jigsaw in clumps. It's harder for us, but we can do it.

Many people say that Aspergers is a gift. Unless you count being able to read at several thousand wpm as a gift, I don't feel I have any gifts at the moment.

Any other Aspies out there?

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Hey Chickengirl,

 

Just came across this post. I am not Aspie but my son is and only just diagnosed at 14. He is also above average IQ but not as high as you. Also dyslexic so really struggles with school.

 

I was especially interested because you like chickens and so do I. I actually studied poultry nutrition at university years ago. Although I ended up changing fields we now have 3 hens included in our count of pets. So funny to watch and talk to. Ours are all hybrids. We have a Nera, a Bluebelle and a Golden.

 

I also remember what it is like to be a teenager and in love with someone unattainable. Really aches inside. But something else will come along eventually and that ache fades.

 

I'm sorry you feel like you have AS and anxiety and aren't believed. Hang in there. If you can find some information about AS to print out or an easy to read book like "Freaks, Geeks and Asperger's Syndrome" then leave it laying around for family to find and look at or even give it to them to see what they say. They might have their eyes opened when they realize that someone can come across as coping with society when they really aren't.

 

Good luck.

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I agree with the previous post, you need to get as much help/info as you can, you need to make people aware of your diagnosis and how it makes you feel. There are many others on here in a similar position as you, I'm sure you will make a lot of friends and get lots of good advice. I wish you well.

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